Love Not Often
by Bhryn Astairre
Summary: Tifa is clouded by her grief filled past. Aeris is cornered by her own heritage. But between the two misfit girls they find in each other the best friend they had always been missing...
1. Chapter 1

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_Yes - I know. I'm actually uploading something after such a long wait between stuffs. Ah well, thats the fun of life getting busy. I'll be removing some things and updating others... Enjoy the first teaser to 'Love not Often'._

_Bhryn xxx_

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**01: In My Heart**

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All I ever wanted was a friend.

They didn't have to understand me, nor did they have to know me well. They didn't have to share my hobbies or my fashion or even see the world through eyes like mine. They didn't have to be like me in any way or form. All they had to do was to love me for all my flaws and faults; love me for all the good and the bad, love me when love itself could hold a candle no longer.

So I wouldn't be lonely.

I wouldn't ask them to do anything strenuous, nor endure monstrous hardships to see me smile. I would ask nothing of them that would not want to give to me willingly, without a second thought or backwards glance nor toe to test the waters of a whirlpool of emotions. I wouldn't ask them to do chores or sit through boring things they did not enjoy, nor ask them to lie and never tell me any truths, only half truths. I'd only ask, that this friend of mine, they love me.

So I'd never be alone.

Instead we'd watch the sun and laugh at jokes and bend our heads together with whispers and giggles and talk about all the little things instead of worrying over the larger things. I'd bring the drinks and they'd bring the food and together we'd have that picnic on the horizon, or in a grove of trees. Others would come later but I and my friend would be the best of friends and we'd never separate. If distance came between us, I'd write them letters and sign them 'with love'. Always with love and then sealing, send it on the air or through the water, curled tightly in a bottle so it can wash ashore to my friend. And reading, a smile would be born on those lips meant for smiling, and I'd know.

So we'd be best friends, forever.

If the day should come one of us must leave then God of Gods, spirits and ghosts and all the things between Heaven and Hell, let it be me! Let it be me who passes first so I wouldn't have the heartache of missing my best friend…

…but then another voice cries out inside, perhaps my best friend might go first and then she would not suffer the heart hurt and loneliness without me. So Gods, perhaps be kind and if it should be, let her pass and I will soldier on with scars across my heart and the blanketed fire dying and dying.

It would be alright in the end though, because I would know I was loved and I was loved for who I was and what I am and even if it must pass at least for a brief shining moment, I was someone, to somebody.

That matters to me more than anyone can know.

…my best friend…


	2. Chapter 2

**01: The Someone**

_"If you have one true friend – you have more than your share": Thomas Fuller._

* * *

He sat staring into brooding silence and from her vantage behind the bar, she watched him with eyes better suited to a hawk, just watching him and nothing else. She betrayed little other than vibrant concern from her dark eyes as her hands went deftly over the daily routines of washing a glass, drying the glass, putting the glass back into the rack where it was within easy reach for one of her explosive cocktail mixtures that the regulars came to Seventh Heaven for.

Marlene, a young girl of an age around five years helped out as best she was able to; such a sweet young girl with a streak of shyness around people she didn't know very well, toying with a flower between her hands that caught what little light ever came creeping into the stinking mess that was the Slums.

Downstairs the ribald rivalry of the small group of terrorists floated up and through floorboards and the lowered arcade machine, their secret hideaway from the prying eyes of the vulture world.

Mechanically she checked the measure spigots on the upturned bottles; whiskey, dry whiskey, hard whiskey, vodka and gin. Mixers and schnapps, midori, bols and kassis. Each lined up for the nightly toll of draining alcohol and serving it, lined up as soldiers in a row and bang, bang, bang – each shot would make one fall down.

She swallowed, catching a brief glance of her worry strained face in the dirty glass of the bar mirror that was behind all the bottles. Tifa Lockhart, a girl just coming into her twenties with large dark eyes and heavy shadows from nights of sleepless worry and insecurity. Her face was heart shaped and prone to worry lines between her straight brows, her full lipped mouth pursed in barely checked frustration and her normally shiny dark hair gritted with dust from a hard days work, drawn back and into a heavy ponytail that fishtailed naturally at the end.

She paused in putting a glass down, her eyes roving her heavy fringe for the first signs of a silver hair, treachery in my own complexion would not be stood for, not when the cause of all her anxiety sat at a table and brooded his life away.

Reined in from the thoughts, Tifa's eyes returned to where he sat. Distant as the winter skies, his glowing blue eyes were unfocused and his hair a golden halo about his head. Even in clothes that were dishevelled he somehow managed to look calm and collected, composed and ready for action at a moments notice. His hand was loosely clasped about the money Barrett had been forced to cough up after she'd been desperately trying to persuade him to stay.

Desperate enough to dredge up the memories of that secret promise…

…and so it was that Tifa spent all her time now, simply waiting and wondering why time was running out on her faster than ever. It hadn't always been like this though. Once, a long time ago, things had been far simpler in her life.

She rested her hand on the bartop, the cleaning rag held loosely in her fingers as her dark eyes watched him brush a hand arrogantly through his spiked haircut. No, once a long time ago, this would have been one of her wildest and strangest dreams, or perhaps nightmares…

* * *

_I was born in Nibelheim._

_Nibelheim is on the other continent, closest to what would be called Rocket Town because of a failed ShinRa venture, and the great aching chasms of Cosmo Canyon. Nibelheim suffers from a cool climate because of the nearby mountains, but in the summertime when we were allowed to play in the fields, the sunshine was bright and the air was warm with blue skies running endlessly overhead._

_My father was a semi successful business man and my mother doted on me as her only daughter. We lived in a good house in the Market district of Nibelheim and I wanted for nothing. I was taught how to play the piano and later how to manage a business as my father did. Whilst I never had the top grades in school, my mind was quick enough to catch onto the figures and sums of being a business person and so I grew up, assuming I would one day take over the family business._

_However, when I wasn't much older than eight or nine, my mother fell ill._

_My father drafted doctors from all across the area, we even had people from Cosmo Canyon come to look at mama. But it was no use. A few weeks later, mama died. I was too young to understand then why she had died, only that I was sad because I would never see or hear my beloved mama again._

_Someone told me that spirits go over the Nibel Mountains when they die… and for some reason, I believed them. I was headstrong and in deep grief and that combined madness pushed me to try and follow mama over the mountains._

_Only I slipped and fell._

_I woke up in a bed with my fathers worried face over me. He kept telling me never to go near Cloud again, because he was a trouble maker. I learned from Johnny later that Cloud had followed me when no one else had… and that he was probably the reason I fell. My father had blamed him. I blamed him partly for stopping me from seeing my mama._

_The truth is, despite me saying to him now that we were really good childhood friends, I hardly knew him. He was a quiet, shy kid who didn't fit in with any group. I didn't even like him all that much, so me and my friends stayed away from him. So even now I lie within lies._

_So it came as a real surprise that one day he called me out to the well. I went because I was curious. I wanted to see just what it was that he wanted to tell me so urgently that it couldn't wait until the morning._

_The stars that night… they were beautiful. The world turned on itself and the sky whirled and whirled until the stars left aching patterns on the brilliant velvet of forever. And he came to the Well to tell me that he was going away. I'd noticed recently how many fights he'd been into._

_So many young men were leaving Nibelheim… and it frightened me that I was being left behind. Many left to join Soldier… which is just what Cloud was doing now._

_In a moment of desperation I squeezed a childish promise from him that if ever I was in trouble then he would come and save me, like a shining hero from one of those stories and then it occurred to me; it wasn't Cloud I wanted to save me perse, simply a Hero. I wanted a hero._

_He promised eventually… and soon enough, he too left._

_I didn't know what to do with myself. I paid closer attention to my father's business and the running of the home as I was now the only woman left in it; and looked for something to spend my time on. Still afraid of the mountain I made myself swear to conquer it and day by day, I walked those paths and byways, I hunted out caves and began to know the mountain well._

_Soon enough I landed a part time job as a local guide for those travellers who sought to reach the town on the other side, or simply wanted to see the world from high up on the Nibel mountains. ShinRa's reactor however, which had been there since I was three, remained strictly off limits and neither was I stupid enough to go trespassing._

_ShinRa's business was not my own._

_When I was fourteen a travelling martial artist came to stop in Nibelheim, looking for students. His name was Zangan and he seemed to know my father. He asked me to take him on a tour of the mountains and it was there I asked to be his student._

_I half expected him to say no outright, but instead he accepted._

_Oh, no longer would I be the Tifa Lockhart all the boys had left behind in their rush to go to Midgar and to be in Soldier. I'd be martial artist, Tifa Lockhart, master of the open palm technique, adept of the water arts. I'd be strong and unstoppable in my own right!_

_So I trained hard every day and sometimes every night, honing my body and aching to be stronger, aching to be harder and aching to be something. To be worthwhile. Eventually I grew to be so talented that even Zangan was pleasantly surprised at his find of such a good student in me._

_I enjoyed performing the exercises so much, that even between trips away, I worked harder than ever to excel my master and sensei. I anticipated the very day when he would look me in the eye and confess I had outstripped him, that I was ready to start travelling and seeing the world and maybe even taking on some students of my very own to spread my own natural talents among the world._

_And then…_

_I heard news that Sephiroth was coming to Nibelheim. Perhaps Cloud would be with them, it would be wonderful to see someone my own age from Nibelheim for once! But he wasn't. There was only the General himself and a Soldier member called Zack, a lovely young man with a sweet smile, and two ordinary grunts. I was distressed. I had hoped that he'd return. Had he forgotten about us all already?_

_Nevertheless, I performed my job and even got a photo taken with Sephiroth as a souvenir, and Zack who seemed insistent on being in it with me. I took them to the reactor and then back again as asked._

_Sephiroth frankly frightened me. There was a cold nothingness in his eyes on the return from the reactor that made my soul shrink heartily. So it was I stayed away from him and spoke a little with Zack who seemed more than willing to joke about softly with good humour, with his pale lavender eyes and jet black hair. He was good looking I suppose, in the way of those who know they are good looking and aren't afraid to use it to their advantage, but I sought only the silence of my dim thoughts and worn feelings, that I was slowly losing my touch on the world that had been my childhood._

_So I slept._

_When I woke, the world was made of fire._

_Immolated buildings and bodies lying everywhere and my father screaming as he ran up over the mountains. In the madness I grabbed what I could and ran through the fire, ignoring the cries of my sensei as I ran after my beloved papa towards the scene of Hell itself. I saw no one nor the mountain path, my feet unsteady and my heart hammering against my ribs, they should break!_

_There on the other side rose the chair of Satan, the ShinRa reactor with the lurid glow of Mako energy being sucked relentlessly from the very earth underneath it. My papa had run inside so I followed him, only to see him be cut down by Sephiroth on the platform into the mouth of damnation. I slid down the chains and hurried on wavering feet, clattering to his side and staring in horror down at the blood which soaked from his chest to the lower echelons of the building. The sword lay useless by his side and my papa's eyes were wide, blank, dead._

_I began to tremble as all I knew slowly crumbled around me. I didn't register fully the scream that was ripped full bodied from my throat and thrown into the air._

_"Papa…" I sobbed, reaching for his clammy, dead hand, "Sephiroth? Sephiroth did this to you…didn't he?" My hand left his and found the hilt of the Masamune, held it close to me and I felt my father's blood trickle down my wrist. I shook. I burned. I hated. "Sephiroth…Soldier…Mako Reactors… ShinRa… I hate them ALL!" I screamed._

_I screamed until I could possibly hurt no longer._

_I screamed until my throat should erupt in blood from damaged vocal chords, until my heart bloomed with fire and my brain roasted in the agonies of betrayal. And then I found my legs, I found I was running, I found I was screaming his name as he stood as some fallen God before the altar of his own birth…_

_…and then I was falling._

_I fell._

_Someone came and in my mind I desperately painted the Hero there, and saw him. I saw Cloud. I heard his name being called… and then?_

_Then there was nothing._

_I woke weeks later in terrible pain in a clinic, somewhere off towards the west of Midgar in an unnamed village. The doctor told me that my master Zangan had brought me here and left a simple letter to explain everything to me._

_With trembling, bandaged hands I read the letter._

_He named me his greatest student, he detailed the events of the Nibelheim incident and enclosed money. He said he would see to the burial of my family and friends properly and that I should forget all about ShinRa. That revenge was never the way for a martial artist to go, but wherever I went and if I chose to teach, he had left me a set of simple work gloves to protect my hands with._

_I was fifteen, and I was disowned by the whole world._

_Unable to take the advice offered I gathered up what I owned in the world when ready and set out for Midgar. Somehow I would bring ShinRa down I swore to myself. After all, I knew Johnny lived somewhere in the Slums, right? So there was a chance I could at least find somewhere to crash._

_Midgar itself is a horrible place. It squats on the upper eastern part of the continent like a boil needing to be lanced, filled with cruelty and bigotry. ShinRa owns the upper plate world, where the rich people live in apartments and enjoy the benefits of natural light and cleaner air. Those below the plate live in what is called the Slums, divided into eight sectors underneath each reactor. It was on my journey into Midgar that I came to rest in Sector seven. I was exhausted and passed out on a bench, still not fully recovered from my wound._

_When I came to, I was in a bed with a gruff looking man hanging by my shoulder and a nervous young woman with large glasses and frizzy pale auburn hair, each looking down at me in worry._

_I wasn't wearing the clothes I'd fallen asleep in, but luckily neither saw fit to mention the horrible scar torn on my breastbone. Instead they offered me food and shelter and I explained my past to them, and why I had come to Midgar._

_The large man introduced himself as being Barrett Wallace, a former miner from Corel. I had heard about the incident there from some smaller reports that filtered through official hands. He said he was setting up a terrorist movement called Avalanche, that was setting out to tear ShinRa down._

_Would I like to join?_

_…and bitterly, I swore my vengeance._

_Then you showed up, Cloud, and complicated everything._

* * *

"Time for the mission," Barrett announced, dragging her from her bitter musings. She glanced up and nodded, coming around the bar and closing it behind herself as Cloud tried to wedge in yet another protest.

Tifa fixed him with a steely glare, there was no chance of her suffering any more of his nonsensical mutterings and he quickly buttoned his lips over whatever new comment he was going to try poisoning the air with. Turning those dark eyes onto Barrett, the martial artist tugged the work gloves on and nodded. "I'm ready. Are we all equipped with Materia? Cloud, explain how to use it to Barrett whilst we go wait for the train."

"Me? Why me?"

Because I said so.

"Because you were in Soldier." She looked away quickly, afraid the lie would bloom in her eyes. Lies, lies, LIES, she wanted to berate herself, always telling lies!

She didn't wait to hear the bickering start again between the two men who seemed to rub up against each other so badly, she had a mission to do and very little time to do it in. It was then, listening to them, that she'd never felt so alone before, lost in her thoughts.

The walk to the Train station didn't take too long, thankfully it only lay just beyond the Sector Seven entryway and there were always plenty of trains coming and going to the upper plates. She nodded to the controller who tipped his hat back, then went to stand next to Jessie and the inseparable pair, Biggs and Wedge. Her hands felt jittery… this was it… this was it, finally…

* * *

The monster skidded along the causeway towards them.

She raised her hands in a panic and danced backwards with Barrett at her side, "This is from Soldier?" she yelled out to him. The helicopter carrying the President was flying away into nothing, a mere speck in the distance and fading from view quickly.

Barrett grimaced at her, his dark skin creasing and his flecked gold-brown eyes tightening around the edges with his temper, as Cloud called back from the other side of the machine, " No way, it's just a machine!"

"I don't care WHAT it is!" Barrett flung himself forward with a yell, "I'm gonna bust him up!"

"Genius," she muttered sourly to herself as the robot retaliated.

It was a mass of wire and machinery panels, arms like tree trunks and a small head. From what she could see, it was armoured heavily and stocked to the gills with heavy artillery weapons, front and back, making it somewhat impenetrable. Barrett skid past her, arms up to try and take most of the blow.

"Shiiiiii-" she heard vaguely as he went flying past. Setting her feet, she tapped into the power of the fire materia on her arm, the spell flaring around her fingers with a burning sensation. Tifa flung her hands forwards to try and direct the magic towards the monstrous contraption, the flames springing into life in amongst the wires.

From behind it she heard a vague 'chink' of metal and could only assume that Cloud was doing his bit for the other side of attacking. It turned and she flung out a hand, "Watch o-" but instead of firing at Cloud, it rained down at her with a storm of bullets.

Dodging as quickly as she could, a stray bullet thudded into her shoulder and sent her almost falling over the edge of the narrow walkway as several more 'chink' noises filled the air, Barrett and Cloud fighting quite happily. Grabbing the rail, Tifa scowled at their incredible concern for her safety and then lifted a hand to her shoulder in pain. Able to ignore it, her temper flared and raced through the inside of her, burning her up from the inside, much like that night, years and years ago.

Crossing the distance, she could almost hear the cries of warning but ignored them. She threw several punches to what would normally be a person's midsection on the robot and then stuck her foot into the wiring panel. Without giving it time to recover, she heaved herself backwards in a spectacular arc of a somersault, ripping wires and panels off in a spray of electrical hardware. Then she caught herself with a skid of her boots just as a lightning bolt rained down from nowhere onto the machine, not mere breaths after she'd moved.

The machine juddered, shuddered, shivered and then fell over in a slight heap with a buzzing sound.

Curious but not stupid enough to get close, she took a step back. "…" and as she did, there was an almighty explosion. Someone pulled her down to the metal causeway and she lay there, trying to breathe against the grate pushed onto her cheek.

When the searing heat withdrew, she sat up only to see in horror that Cloud was clinging onto the causeway for dear life. "Cloud!"

A hand grasped her arm as she threw herself towards the dangling figure of the ex-soldier, and she knew from the strength in the hold it was Barrett, "It's gonna blow, let's go Tifa!"

She looked up, and knew the tears were trying to escape her eyes, warring with her stubborn nature, "Can't you do something!"

"Not a damn thing."

She wrenched her arm out of his hold somehow, the bullet wound bleeding harder and extended her arm to Cloud who looked up at her with those shining blue eyes, shining hard into the sudden darkness of the reactor room. She willed him to take her hand. She willed him to want to live. She willed so hard she thought she'd break from trying to push into his stubborn mind to continue on… to take…her hand…

"Cloud!" she cried out, "Please don't die, you can't die!"

You're the last link to my home.

"There's still so much I want to tell you!"

He looked up at her, "I know, Tifa."

He knows? He knows you've been lying? Does he know something is wrong!

Barrett called out over her, "Yo, you gonna be awright?"

"I don't know if I can hold on.. shit… I can't hold on much longer…" His hands were slipping already and she reached harder than ever.

"Don't go cryin' like a woman," vague irritation swept through her at Barrett's words. "There ain't nothing I can do for ya – ya gotta do it yourself."

Cloud looked to Barrett, meaningfully, from me. What did that look mean? "Barrett…"

"Alright, then, later."

* * *

_And Cloud dropped. Arms came about me to drag me away as I watched in horror as my childhood link, my maybe sometime friend just vanished into the yawning depths of the underworld and all I could do was hold out my hand in wretched helplessness. I watched him go and even as I was dragged away I knew that I had lost something else. I could hear the ticking of the clock. I could hear the snick-snick of the second hand, the minute hand, the hour hand and I knew that I was running out of time._

_I was always running out of time…_


	3. Chapter 3

**03: The Somebody**

_"Magic is believing in yourself. If you can do that, you can make anything happen" –_

_Joseph Wolfgang von Goethe_

* * *

She watched the world move past her with a sense of awe.

The world, despite the inherent ugliness she saw entrenched all around herself, was truly beautiful. The wind was vibrant with whispers of far away places and hidden in some of the shyest smiles were hope and love, dreams and wishes. She drew a deep breath into herself and moved the basket of flowers around in her delicate hands, looking for the perfect handhold where she could hold it away from her body without suffering any ill effects on her arms. The street itself, where she chose to sell her flowers today was calm and peaceful, cut off from the roar of everything else.

Aerith was only 22 years old, but already painfully aware of how quickly life moved, how quickly everything moved all around her without stopping to take a breath, to take the kind of notice she'd always wanted and in some ways, always feared. She wore her neatest pink dress and the red jacket, capturing the lurid glow of the mako tanks stuck in between each building that sufficed as their energy source. The sudden swirl of patterns caught her eye and she brushed back her heavy bangs and wispy curls to look towards the tank.

Inside stars of green glowed and rotated, dancing together as they arched achingly towards the endless black sky. They waltzed and tangoed in step with one another and the smile creasing her glossy pink lipped mouth was infected with good humour. Even trapped from the world, the mako knew what it was to live, what it was to be alive and happy.

A sudden noise from outside jolted her back to reality with an unpleasant jerk. Clasping a hand to the woven necklace about her neck, looped twice with a lazy bow to mirror the pink ribbon caught in her golden brown hair, Aerith moved to the entrance of the alleyway and paused on the brink of stepping into the bustling street.

A wind blew cold and hard past her, singing a dirge she had never heard the world cry out before and timidly she turned her head so she could see the massive sprawl that was the ShinRa corporation headquarters. It grew there, an ugly boil on the face of it's deformed city.

She swallowed against the bitter lump of fear frozen into her throat.

Bowing her head before anyone could pause and ask her if she was well, Aerith moved into the crowd, green eyes fixed on the floor and only watching where she placed her feet, looking for shadows of people so she wouldn't bump into them. She was desperate to move away from that watchful gaze, the threatening guardian and the faceless horror she had felt all her life. Looming there… waiting for her…

She walked for minutes, perhaps half an hour without realising her actual heading and soon bumped off someone as they came running from the corner street in a hurry. It was then she realised that a massive explosion still raged in the distance, tweaking on her senses.

Someone offered her a hand and without thinking, she avoided it, getting to her own feet with a slight sense of disgruntlement. Then she looked towards where the sounds of fire and explosions still rang out. "…what happened?" she said thoughtlessly.

"Nothing… hey…listen… you, er, don't see many flowers around here."

Aerith looked back at the hesitant tone of voice and was surprised by the bluest eyes she'd ever seen. Shocked to her soul by the sudden wave of knowing that hit her in the pit of her stomach, she grasped for the stem of a pale pink lily and lifted it shyly, "Oh…these?" The young man was steadily growing a blush as heavy as she'd ever seen one, so to save him and herself perhaps from that intense look he was giving her, she stumbled on, "Do you like them?"

When he nodded she made the decision there and then to lower the price drastically – she couldn't have said why she did such a thing, only that those eyes were so very blue and they made something inside her tremble with recognition, "They're only a gil…?"

He fumbled briefly, hands clumsy in what looked to be thick gauntlets and then eventually handed over a single gil coin. In turn she pressed the flower into his hands and watched his face, eyes wide as his, "Thank you… here you are."

He kept looking at her, waiting as if to say something and hurriedly Aerith turned away, carrying on walking from the young man as quickly as her legs could carry her. She turned the corner and ducked into an alleyway, dropping her basket quickly and pressing her hands to her middle.

_He reminded me of Zack. But at the same time, nothing like him at all. What is this strange feeling?_

Hours later, when she had finally sold enough flowers to have money to get by one for a few days, she gathered up her wares and settled onto the journey home. A quick ride via the trains and to the station where she greeted the station attendant the same way as she did every time, with a smile and a thoughtful comment and well wishing for his family. She took the long route back by the houses and alleys, avoiding the open area until she came to her home, hidden away in a small slum village and protected by the burly materia dealers. Here she was home, where her garden grew wild and alive with many, many flowers. Here where her mother was and the comfort of the soft soil.

Aerith pushed the door open and put the basket down by the front door, slipping her shoes off with only the minimal amount of fuss over straps and the like. Knocking the dirt from the soles of the shoes, she came to stand by the table.

"Mom?" she called out. There was no answer. Elmyra must be in the village, she decided. So thinking, she moved to the sink and the small cooker and began to set about the usual domestic chores of cooking.

_But I can't get that young man out of my head, like he's going to change my life… what a life it has been, that is…_

* * *

_My full name is Aerith Gainsborough. I'm 22 years old. I live here in the slums with my mother Elmyra. I've known since I was young that she isn't my real mother. My real mother died and Elmyra took me in as an act of kindness, probably because she had no children of her own. I don't remember much of my first mother, only that she was kind and gentle and she did whatever she could to keep me safe._

_Elmyra's last name is Gainsborough, which I took as my own and cast aside the second name I had never known. I grew up here in relative security, but the dreams still lingered…_

_Ever since I could recall, my childhood was spent in the first few years in the clutches of the ShinRa corporation. Hojo, their head scientist, was looking for a way to reach the Promised Land; a place, which he told the President, would reap him great riches. So it was that he captured my mother and myself, when I was little more than a baby, to perform experiments upon and try to discover the secrets of the Planet._

_It was a lonely time of my life._

_I knew my mother suffered terribly from the tests… so I made friends with the President's son, Rufus. He was an energetic and lonely little boy, many hours we'd spend together playing hide and seek in amongst the offices set in the ShinRa towers. Rufus had a Turk assigned to him specifically, a man named Tseng with a dot between his brows. He seemed to be only about sixteen or so, very young but capable I'm assured. At first, I think he resented being the babysitter to Rufus and myself on our escapades. But as time went on, he came to realise we were unique and intelligent individuals worthy of some measure of respect._

_However, Hojo was not to be put off for long…and my childhood play away from needles and other horrors came to an end._

_I can't recall the full agonies of it. The days were like weeks. He injected me, he sucked blood out for testing, he subjected me to dry runs and exercise tests, he tested my powers, my intellect and my reasoning. The experiments were the worst and at night, I'd lie in cold sweats of pure terror, waiting for the next needle, the next drug, the next test…_

_It was hardly a life at all._

_The one day, Tseng must have sympathised greatly with my mother's condition and my own, because we escaped. I don't remember the full reason why or how, but we did it, flying into the face of freedom and the forever beyond. There was dark and light, then dark, flashing overhead. Then when I woke up, she lay dying and Elmyra was holding me. And I cried for the first in years._

_Under Elmyra's care, I attended school and was the brightest student there. My powers, inherited from my mother, gave me a distinct edge in discerning personalities and intentions, so I was able to rise to some measure of popularity. As I grew older, my interest in botany grew – when I was older, I decided, I would be a botanist and discover thousands of new flowers, I'd give gardens back to those in the slums._

_Unfortunately, my other powers were never so nice as the ability to make flowers grow and open the hearts of those around me. The voice of the planet was strong to my ears, like a shout when I stepped in certain places. The spirits of the dead came to visit me, when they could, and so it was I learned that Elmyra's husband had died in the war on Wutai._

_She cried, of course, but there was no way I could help ease that grief without it seeming weird coming from a mere child. After all, I wanted her to feel at ease with me, not be afraid of my powers._

_Later, my talent to heal and use material shone through incredibly strong and so it was I became the local healer too, at even a tender age, helping those I did not know and those I did with all their illnesses. Despite this, the nightmares never left me and I kept smiling through the fear._

_I don't know when it was that Tseng came back to me, but he knew me on sight despite the years and I knew him._

"_They're looking for you again," he said softly, wearily._

_And my world crashed down about me like a house of cards, tumbling from hearts to spades and clubs and diamonds…I was unsure of what to do, but Elmyra insisted Tseng leave after I refused to go with him._

_Years pass again…_

_I met a young man called Zack. It was a childish first love, blooming over instant friendship. Whilst my mother didn't approve so strongly of him, I needed that someone solid there that wasn't going to try and ruin my life, that wasn't waiting until I was settled then pulling the rug out from under me. We dated casually for a year or so… then he was called away on duty._

_I was sad, of course, but life went on. Without Zack there, the Turk's search intensified and I found myself running scared from building to building, scraping a living and fearful of when they might finally see me. When they would know where I'd been hiding from them, for all these years… so I retreated more and more to common ground, the church which I'd discovered early in my youth. The local kids who loved me as an older sister had nicknamed it 'Aerith's Church' and so it was there, where my flowers grew the most beautiful, I stayed…_

…_and waited for the nightmares to end…_

* * *

She walked along in the faint light of dusk, stretching her legs a little carefully and brushing hair from her eyes as she took the less known route to her ramshackle church where she happily spent her days.

Aerith slipped in through the doors and sighed, closing them behind her as best she could. Then, footsteps light on the floorboards, she made her way across to her flowerbed only to pause in surprise at the figure sprawled gracelessly in the a heap atop them, shards and beams of wood fallen down around it. Hand flying to her mouth, she hurried over quickly and began to move the wooden timbers away so she might see what lay underneath and what state it was in.

As she pulled the shoulder over carefully in case of injury, Aerith took another silent breath as the face of the man who had bought her one gil flower looked up serenely at her. Eyes travelling down, she could see the vicious knock to his head and the several bruises and weeping cuts he'd sustained. So she reached out and murmured, placing her hand to his brow.

A wind grew about her, refreshing in it's intensity and growing – the flowers unbending and stems healing, his blood cleansing itself and drawing back into cuts that healed over and the bump to his head going down as redness leached away. Once done, Aerith moved her hand away and smiled in worry. He hadn't stirred and she hoped he hadn't crashed down only to sustain horrible head injuries that she couldn't heal.

"Hello?" she tried quietly. Nothing, he lay simply inert before her.

She poked at his rib side, then tickled gently; in a knee jerk-esque reaction he twisted to try escaping that tickle. "Oh, it moved!" she laughed softly. "Hello, hello?"

The man stirred with a groan and she tried again, "Hello, hello!"

Suddenly with a shake of his head he sat up with his blue eyes open and staring right at her. She almost squawked and sat back on her own flowers in surprise, "Are you okay?" Aerith stammered, getting a hold of herself as she took in the look of the man, "This is a church in the sector 5 slums… it suddenly fell in, you really gave me a scare!"

He was taller than she was, she knew, but not as tall as some men she'd seen, with a lankiness to him that made him appear taller than he was. His face was smooth and marked by a strange uncertainty, with a mouth that hardly seemed to know how to smile and melancholic blue eyes that shone. His hair was a dampened gold, pushed from the previous style he'd worn it in by the fall and dusted with sawdust and dirt. His clothes were… strikingly familiar to her. A blue high necked jumper with a shoulder guard, gauntlets, thick belt, jodhpur like trousers that ruffled with how baggy they lay on him and military issue boots. His weapon, what looked to be an ungainly broadsword lay feet from him.

He answered slowly, "I came crashing down?"

Aerith nodded, drawing back a little, "The roof and the flower bed must have broken your fall. You're lucky," she smiled warmly.

The strange blush suffused the man's cheeks again and he leapt to his feet, "Flower bed… Is this yours? Sorry about that..."

She restrained the urge to laugh at his expression, a bizarre mixture between apologetic, sweet and little boy lost. Standing too, she dusted down her pink dress and wrinkled her nose in yet another warm smile for him, trying to set him at his ease. Aerith quickly gestured at the flowers, "That's all right. The flowers here are pretty resilient because this is a sacred place," she wanted to touch the soil again, know the beat of the planet was living in her fingers when she did so… "They say you can't grow grass and flowers in Midgar. But the flowers seem to have no trouble blooming here. I love it here."

She turned briefly to study her flowers and their shining faces, filled with love, filled with the Planet's love for her and for a moment she was almost dizzy. Then…

"…so…we meet again…" she turned her shy look onto him, "Don't you remember me? You do?"

"Yeah, I remember," he tilted his head and for a brief moment his expression softened, "You were selling flowers."

"Oh, I'm so happy, thanks for buying my flowers…" she tailed off and studied him and then broke in as she fixed hair from wafting into her eyes, his gaze intent on her again despite the flush in both their cheeks, "Say, do you have any materia?"

"Yes, some," his hand dipped into the arm band he wore and flashed a green orb and a blue at her, bright with the light of the world. She knew which they were just from the vague sense of them, lightning and a support materia – 'all'. "Nowadays you can find materia anywhere."

"But mine is special," she sighed, "it's good for absolutely nothing."

"Good for nothing? You probably just don't know how to use it right…"

Aerith jumped in quickly, she could see the lecture starting on his lips! "No, I do! It just doesn't do anything… I feel safe having it. It was my mother's… say, I feel like talking, do you feel up to it? After all, here we are meeting again, right?"

"I don't mind," he said, watching her and she blushed, tucking hair away once again.

"Well, I won't be a minute, I just have to check on my flowers."

She began to tend to them, fussing over the stems and the petals, checking them for bruising and the like until she realised he was stood over her, watching with a slight smile on his face. Aerith looked up and then coughed, standing with a smile in return for him, "Just a little longer. Oh… now that you mention it, we don't even know each others names, do we? I'm Aerith, the flower girl. Nice to meet you."

"The name's Cloud. And me? I do a bit of everything."

"Oh," she laughed softly, "A jack of all trades?"

"Yeah, I do whatever's needed…" he paused and blinked his bluest eyes at her, "What's so funny, what are you laughing at?"

Aerith covered her mouth, "Nothing…I just…" then paused and looked to the doorway, where there was a shadow. Instinctively, she took a step backwards to where her slender fighting staff lay. "Cloud… have you ever been a bodyguard?"

"…"

"You –do- do everything, right?"

"That's right…" his brows crinkled in puzzlement but she really didn't have time to try and explain this. The turk was watching her and with a lead feeling she knew they'd found her when she was distracted, off guard.

She turned her green eyes to his with a pleading expression, "Then take me out of here, take me home."

"Okay…I'll do it, but it'll cost you."

Cost me? But I don't have any money….oh no…

"Uh well then, lets see, how about if I go out on a date with you once?"

His expression clouded further with confusion, then he finally caught sight of the Turk and went to talk to him. Not taking this chance at face value, Aerith grabbed the staff and pushed her way through the flowers, to the back door which she opened with a somewhat mighty _(for her)_ shove.

She bit her lip and looked back just as the Turk was drawing his weapon and cried out, "Don't fight here, you'll ruin the flowers! The exit is back there…" she pointed through the doorway and with Cloud moving towards her quickly, she fled through it…

* * *

The fight itself had taken less than half an hour, not including the time it took her to show Cloud the exit. She'd taken him back with her to her home and there he'd spent the night, trying to shake off the injuries he'd received.

As he lay sleeping, she went into the garden and brushed her hands through the flowers, trying to get a rational hold on everything that was happening around her. But the winds of madness, the winds of change blew cold around her, howling with infinite need and infinite displeasure, howling endlessly and chilling her to her soul, telling her that soon she'll be gone far away and that her story, her only fairy tale would come true.

And yet she still felt as though something were missing from her life.

She heard him trying to sneak out the next morning.

Unfortunately for the mercenary, she, like many gardeners, swore by the early to rise rule and she also knew the slums like the back of her hand. As he charged aimlessly towards the sector 6 intersection, she tugged her boots on, grabbed her staff and materia and rushed through the back alleyways to stand before it, minutes ticking by as she waited for him to show up.

He turned the corner then drew back with a gasp of surprise at seeing her standing there, drawing designs in the dirt with her staff tip.

"Aerith," he said softly, his eyes softening.

"You're up bright and early," she chirped and smiled brightly.

"How… could I ask you to go along when I knew it'd be dangerous."

She studied him, a serious young man at times, frightened and aloof and hiding something inside this shell he wore to the outside world. Intrigued, she knew her destiny lay at his side, or perhaps his destiny at her side. Either way, she had to go, so she sniffed and folded her arms with the high handed way she kept for unruly sick patients. "Are you done? You have to go through sector 6 to reach sector 7. Come on."

He sighed and just followed without argument.

She knew she was being horribly stubborn and forceful about this, and true, the road to the sector six was dangerous, but he fought like a demon and her own brand of skills ensured their materia they stockpiled together was used to it's fullest, each spell carving down her nerves and lighting up her mind so brilliant, so alive.

Soon they came to the chain link fence and she stood there with him, looking at the small playground that was looking as if it had seen far better days. The dirt looked even dirtier than the soil back in the 5th slum and she sighed softly. "The gate to sector 7 is in there."

He looked across at her and she fought the blush that rose, straining to keep her cheeks pale and tint free, "Thanks. I guess… this is goodbye? You gonna be alright going home?"

"Oh no, whatever will I do… isn't that what you want me to say?" she looked at him, but saw only the vague confusion in his blue eyes. Aerith shook her head and walked past him into the play area, tilting her head backwards as she studied the slide, "Can we take a break?"

She didn't wait for a reply, running quickly to the slide so her pink skirts flared up about her slender legs and then laughed softly, "I can't believe its still here." And so saying, moved to the back of it where she climbed up and sat with legs drawn close, looking over the play area. "Cloud," she laughed and waved, "Over here."

He watched her and then came over, climbing up the equipment to sit next to her with a sigh, a small graze jutting on his smooth cheek, her eyes drawn to it with a vague tug of sadness inside her. "So," she said softly, "…what rank were you?"

"Rank?"

"In Soldier."

"Oh, I was…" his expression became fearfully blank, eyes distant. Aerith watched him, then lowered her brows slightly. The sudden vacancy frightened her but at the same time she also realised that it was because of what he was hiding. She schooled her own facial motions to contemplative stillness. "First Class."

_Impossible. There is something wrong here._

"Just the same as him," she ventured cautiously.

"As who?"

"My first boyfriend."

"You were…serious?" His interest was suddenly sharper, overtones of green eyed jealousy seething suddenly, strong enough to confuse her.

"N-no…but I liked him for a while."

"I probably knew him, what was his name?"

_…You probably did…_

"It doesn't really matter." There was a noise and she looked up from her boots towards the sector gate which was opening. A Chocobo drawn carriage danced its way out of the maw gracefully, the gates shutting behind it. On the back of the jutting carriage balcony a lone figure stood with firm resolution patterned on strong features. Aerith drew a faint breath, another blow hitting her heavily across the stomach. What was this new feeling?

"Huh… Tifa?" Cloud stood up.

It took moments for her to realise it was the girl that Cloud had mentioned, the lonely martial artist that was his childhood friend, and she stood up too, trying to remain calm. "The girl in the cart was Tifa? Where was she going? She looked kind of odd…"

Without waiting, she jumped down from the slide and began running towards the Wall Market gates and the den of all inequity. Behind her she could hear Cloud shouting he'd do it himself, but something stronger than that tugged her on, something greater and she knew she had to chase it. She knew she had to be the one to chase after it, no matter how far it would take her…

* * *

_They say a friend can last a lifetime. They say friends bring with them the greatest magic of all._

_I saw magic on that day as well as great fear._

_But I couldn't involve them in that… because no one deserves to be bound by my horrible fate of fear… so I swore, for these new friends, I'd protect and help as best I could. Because I could feel the magic, mom; I could feel the magic…_

(A/N : thanks for those who have been reviewing this and reading it, you're making my days! - B xx)


	4. Chapter 4

**04: Tension Rising**

_The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know them when they are gone. George Elliot_

_

* * *

_

She could feel the dress moving unhappily on her skin, soft and the colour of a dark night sky in the blues and indigoes she had seen as a child, sparkling with the stars she'd made vicious promises on, stars she'd hung her endless sorrow on and waited for the tomorrow she kept smiling for to take them away. Only now the dress that was the backdrop of her dreams whispered to her that she was going to a place far away with a man she knew made her skin crawl but she was doing it so one day, that tomorrow would come. That her tomorrow would be here sooner and she'd no longer viciously wait on each tick and tick of the eternal clock, slipping time past her. Making her so old whilst she was already still so young.

Her dark eyes sullenly watched the ground and dirt packed together tightly as she swayed in the back of the Chocobo drawn carriage, her hair left loose and the small satchel of her work clothes left to the side of her, so she could change from this clinging material when the time was right. It was dark, as far as she could guess, the strange pre-dawn dark of a new day and she felt as though grit had embedded itself into her eyes and prickled out tears she'd sworn never to allow to run down her cheeks ever again.

So she tightened her knuckles on the railing and bit her lip.

The gate to sector six opened and the carriage clunked through gracelessly, hitting a stone as it turned in ungainly fashion. Jolted, Tifa grabbed the railing harder as her middle was thrown into it and mentally said several words, forming a pretty little curse with the dark sentiment. Then she raised her eyes and stopped as she saw piercingly two figures sat atop the old slide in the children's playground that had fallen into misuse over the years, serving now only as a scrap haven. One of the figures was Cloud – her heart surged suddenly with elation and an odd possessiveness then was dampened with a stranger new flush as she looked across to the girl sat next to him. She looked slender and almost fragile, with tanned skin and golden brown hair that was drawn as best the girl could likely manage away from her face, oval in shape and home to sparkling green eyes that stared at her in puzzlement and wonder. Tifa ran her hand across her middle and chest, trying to figure out what this new feeling was, only partially surprised to see the girl mimic the gesture.

But Cloud was there, dampened yellow hair and the same lost expression, the same distant aura surrounding him as always. She looked down quickly, shame blooming inside her as the carriage drew away, leaving behind the playground and the two figures.

Was she unhappy because she'd seen Cloud with another girl?

Not particularly, she mused to herself, but more that she'd believed him lost, that he'd fallen and she'd not even thought to look for him. The bite of her own betrayal bit deep into her heart and tears quickly formed in her eyes with no additional help from the gritting morning feeling that hung around her. She tried hard to control the tears as shops that filled the market rolled past. She brushed them away hurriedly and turned to see the sprawling mansion with the colourful pennants and the open doors where the man she'd contacted previously stood; a greasy looking gentleman with a face only a mother would love, called Kotch.

Shakily, Tifa got out of the carriage and straightened her dress with a twitch of her fingers and shrug of her strong shoulders, letting it fall with ease into place. Then adjusting her hair, she adopted the confident strut and sauntered towards Kotch, "The journey was terrible," she simpered.

"Well, it was either the carriage or walking, my little beauty," he leered.

For a moment she thought he'd place hands on her person and tensed, ready to break several fingers if this turned out to be the case, but it wasn't thankfully. Instead he gestured so she could go inside. Tifa followed his motion and started walking in, painfully aware they were all watching certain parts of her anatomy and yet also thankful they couldn't see the expression of disgust written across her face.

The doors behind her closed.

* * *

She moved from shop to shop like a dancing feather, asking with a sweet smile and tilting her head coyly to coax information from each person. Behind her, Cloud watched with a bemused expression, so lost that she stuck her tongue out between short jogging trips and laughing softly as he rolled his eyes in amusement back.

Once she'd gathered the information she needed, Aerith came back to stand by the Soldier's side with a cheerful little perk of her cinnamon brows. "This place is pretty scary," she nodded surreptitiously to the eager looking drunks lining the market with leers matching their already somewhat questionable looks, "In a lot of ways. Especially for a girl. We've got to find Tifa fast."

His expression looked lost and she shook her head at his next words, "So where do we start looking."

"I'm one step ahead of you. The little boy over there says the Honey Bee Inn might know some details… so we'll go there and ask, but just don't leave me on my own."

Cloud wrinkled a brow and brought a hand up to tap his chin, "I don't know, you're a girl who thinks she doesn't need help from anyone."

"Oh, you're terrible!" she pushed him lightly and they both laughed. But soon she was steering him in the direction of the Inn, through the alleyways as per the advice and directions of several passer-bys. She didn't stop to ask too many questions but she did watch the kaleidoscope of colours and all the different shops this place had, as well as the various scents trickling up her nose and delighting her sense of smell.

The inn itself sat in a dingy corner of the sector, a vast growth where sounds of a somewhat eyebrow raising nature were coming out of. Men clustered around the front of the building and without thinking, she pressed herself in close to Cloud with wide eyes as he approached the doorman to try and pry some information from him about Tifa's whereabouts. There was the usual idle chitchat and she felt Cloud's hand on hers in a reassuring fashion. How shameful! To make such a fuss about how she could handle herself and then to be faced with this kind of situation. Firmly she resolved that one day she'd never be this frightened again of such a pathetic thing, really…

Soon, he was leading her away and she was pulled into the relative light of the market, pushing hair from her eyes with worry. "Well?"

"Follow me," he said and started walking. She didn't tell him he'd not let go of her hand and neither did see any reason to – after all, the looks seemed to be on the faces of a few thugs littering the streets on the way to the building Cloud was murmuring about, a mansion of some sorts where they were holding young girls. They passed several bars, she had to skip over a drunk and the insides of his stomach until she almost bounced off Cloud's back when he came to an unexpected stop.

Instead, she retrieved her hand, and to alleviate the disappointed look she smiled softly and rubbed her wrist, "You gripped too hard."

"Oh, I'm sorry…"

"This is Don Corneo's Mansion." The door guard approached, looking the most normal Aerith had seen anyone look since they had arrived in this unfortunate sector. "He's a big shot here in Wall Market. Listen, the Don's not interested in men so you just get the hell outta here, okay?" His eyes travelled to her from Cloud and she smiled, even making the effort to stick a dimple in with it, "Hey! You got another cute one with you!"

She studied the mansion and turned a little so her whisper would reach only Cloud, "Looks like this is the Mansion. I'll go take a look – I'll tell Tifa about you." She turned away and took a few steps forward, then blinked as Cloud caught her arm and dragged her away with surprising strength. She'd known he was strong but hadn't expected this kind of strength!

"No, you can't!" His expression was confused, hurt and incredibly frustrated all at once, suffused with that little blush over his cheeks.

"Why not?"

"You… **do** know what kind of place… this is, don't you?"

She wanted to smile but instead frowned, her amusement bubbling over from the inside and taking the bite from her words, "Then what am I supposed to do? Do you want to go in there with me?"

He brushed a hand into his golden hair, "Well.. being a man, that'd be pretty hard… Besides, if I bust in that'll cause too much commotion…"

She watched him and then a terrible idea struck her, accompanied with an image so strong that the amusement erupted inside her. She covered her mouth and held her stomach, laughing helplessly as the Soldier carried on, oblivious to her giggling fit. "But I can't just let you go in alone… oh man… first, we need to find out if Tifa is okay…" finally he noticed and frowned, "Alright, what's so funny?"

"Cloud," she gasped past her giggles and reached for his hand with both of hers, unaware of how the light however dim made her large green eyes sparkle delightfully, filled with life, "Why don't you dress up as a girl? It's the only way…"

"_WHAT?"_ he jerked his hand back and stared at her in horror.

She laughed and moved to the guard, grinning so energetically that the guard felt compelled to smile back, "Just wait, I've got a cute friend I want to bring along."

"Aerith," Cloud said in strangled tones from behind her, "I can't…"

She turned, the smile fading only a little, "You are worried about Tifa right? Then come on, hurry!"

"But…" He sighed as his hand was grabbed by her this time. She smiled to herself on the inside and began drawing him away from the mansion and towards the clothes shop she'd seen as they'd ran past it in the hurry to get close to the mansion. Behind her, she could hear him trying to formulate all manner of reasons why it wouldn't work. In her heart she formulated all manner of reasons on exactly why it would…

* * *

Carefully folding her clothes and shoes up with her staff, she tied them into a bundle and pushed it out of the cubicle ahead of her. The dress she'd picked was red, the colour of love, passion, of vivacity. It was also the colour of blood.

Her eyes lidded slightly as she pulled the ribbon from the bottom of the braid she wore and let her hair fan out carefully. The white materia glinted at her from the back of her pony tail and Aerith looked at it mutely, wondering to herself if she would ever be able to unlock the secrets of the materia.

"Aerith, you ready?"

"Yeah," she called out and opened the cubicle to look across at Cloud who had chosen the traditional silken kimono, the blonde wig and the careful selection of items they'd chosen to go with the outfit. She stepped out, feeling a little neglected because of these expeditions they'd done in order to pretty Cloud up. But the gasps of appreciation from the others in the shop made her warm a little on the inside. But the Soldier's expression was almost thunderstruck.

"Oh, you're no fun," she said a little sadly, disappointed by his verbal lack of affirmation. Moving to pick up her backpack, she watched Cloud do the same with his gear and started walking after him, waving to the kind shop owners who'd helped them in their crazy quest for dress, items and wig.

She lifted the dress hem clear of the floor and stepped after Cloud, conscious of how cool the evening air was getting. Soon they arrived by the mansion front and she stepped ahead of Cloud, offering that same energetic smile to the guard, "Hey again."

"Damn, your friends hot too!" The strangled if muted sound of indignation made her giggle and she covered her mouth, thankful the guard had his back turned as he fumbled with the latch to let them in, "Come in, come in – two ladies, coming through!"

She stepped in without hesitation, looking back to see Cloud fight against grinding his teeth. Perhaps this was his punishment for his less than desirable reaction on seeing her in a dress like this. "Hey ladies, I'll go let the Don know you're here, no wandering around!"

They both nodded and when the man was gone, she turned to Cloud in the expansive foyer of the mansion with her hands on her hips and smiled, with grim satisfaction, the smile reminiscent of the old 'told you so' chants as used by children the world over. "Now's our chance, lets find Tifa."

They began an exhaustive search of the Mansion until they heard what sounded like a vague thumping noise from a room and together, braved down the darkly lit stairwell. To Aerith, it reminded her of walking into the throat of some demon, each step bringing her closer to the fate she knew waited for her, the heavy feeling growing in her stomach as shadows flickered everywhere around her.

At the bottom was what appeared to be a torture room, complete with rack, furnace and hooks on the wall. Dark tell-tale smears made her avert her eyes with a gulp and press both hands to her stomach. By the rack stood the girl they'd seen on the carriage, complete with blue dress and up close, Aerith could see the wine-dark eyes that suddenly looked towards them. Cloud coughed in embarrassment and moved to the side to let Aerith past. She came down the steps and smiled to Tifa.

"Tifa?" she ventured first, before the other girl could get a word in edgewise, "Nice to meet you. I'm Aerith. Cloud's told me a lot about you." She offered her hand.

"…And you are…?" Tifa blinked and took the hand gently, shaking it, "Oh, you're the one who was with Cloud in the park."

"Right, with Cloud."

A strange air hung between them and then she almost felt guilty at the look of betrayal that white washed over Tifa's face, "Oh."

"Oh, don't worry, we just met. It's nothing," she tried to insert hurriedly.

"What do you mean, don't worry?" Tifa looked at her again, the expression shifting to something slightly more wistful and sad, "About…what? No, don't misunderstand. Cloud and I grew up together, nothing more."

_Then why are you so sad and lonely? Why do you look through me and falter on your words? What is going on with this girl?_

"Poor Cloud," Aeris suddenly smirked and hid it behind a hand. She wanted to roll around laughing, in all honesty. "Having to stand here and listen to us talk about him as if he's nothing. Right, Cloud?"

"Cloud?" Tifa's expression was puzzled, but then at the flower girls gesture, she looked at the other 'girl' who had followed the steps down and her eyes widened! Aerith turned away, trying so hard not to laugh as Tifa crossed over the space and poked at the makeup incredulously, "Cloud? Why are you dressed like… like that? And what are you doing here? …forget about that, what…" there was a strange hitch in her voice and Aerith looked up at the pair, did Cloud not hear it? "What happened to you after the fall? Are you hurt?"

"Hey, give me a chance to answer," he looked sheepish and almost brow beaten, if anything, "I'm dressed like this…" his blue eyes gave her an accusatory look and the giggles almost bubbled over again, so she bit her lip, "Because there was no other way to get in here. I'm all right, Aerith helped me out."

"Oh… Aerith did…" Tifa's eyes travelled down to her hands, wrung together and once more, the flower girl frowned, trying to figure out what the problem was here.

"Tifa… explain, why are you in a place like this?"

"Oh..ummm…"

"I'll just plug my ears," Aerith offered helpfully and covered both ears with her hands quickly, moving away to let the pair talk privately. In truth she was starting to feel entirely unsure about this whole situation.

When he'd fallen into her church, she was certain that she and him were out to do something incredible, like change the world; the kind of things her real mother had spoken of. The weave of the lifestream and how it wound around the world, that she would be able to dip her hands into it and focus her energy, focus the magic and make anything possible because of what she is.

But now Tifa was there and a second feeling almost as strong as the first, perhaps stronger in some ways, told her that she and Tifa were also going to do something even more profound than that which she and Cloud would do. Only she didn't know what yet…

"…Everyday he gets three girls, chooses one of them and well… and then… anyway, I have to be the girl or I'm out for tonight."

She lowered her hands from her ears and turned around, "I'm sorry," she said softly, drawing their attention from the despairing silence Tifa's statement had thrown over the room, "I overheard. If you know the other two girls, there shouldn't be a problem, right?"

"No, Aerith, I can't have you get involved!"

She turned her bright, lively eyes onto him and narrowed them, the first real sign of annoyance she'd properly given, "Oh, so it's all right for Tifa to be in danger?"

"No…I don't want Tifa in…" he tried helplessly, making expansive gestures, but the martial artist cut him short.

"Is it all right?"

"I grew up in the slums, I'm used to danger." _…needles…tables…hunt me, catch me if you can…and the ghosts come, hunger…hate…and forever you'll run away…_ "Do you trust me?"

Tifa drew close to her and she smiled, taking one of Tifa's arms, vaguely surprised that the feeling of being hit in the stomach finally quelled at having Tifa close to her too, as it did with Cloud, "Yes, thanks, Ms Aerith."

"Please, just call me Aerith?"

The two girls smiled at each other as Cloud gawped at them in the background, a voice ringing out from above, "HEY" they all looked up to the stairwell top and sighed, the man from the foyer looking back down at them, "It's time Ladies, the Don is waiting. I told you not to wander around… I tell ya, women nowadays… hurry up, will ya!"

"I er," Cloud coughed and drew their attention, his expression miserable and resigned, "I probably don't need to ask this, but I'm the other girl, right?"

"You're right," Tifa smiled, "There was no need…"

Aerith finished, "To ask!"

The both broke into laughter as they began to make their way up the stairs and towards the dangerous situation ahead of them…

* * *

The water was cold and smelt pretty bad.

It lapped on her cheek in small tides, pushing up against her nose as she sat up slowly, hearing Cloud ask Aerith the same question he'd asked her not seconds ago. The affirming answer that she was alright, made Tifa sigh in relief. Her clothes however, the white shirt and mini skirt were covered in sludge from the sewer. Taking this time to wipe the muck off, she then drew on her gloves that she didn't have time to pull on before, hurried in the rush to save Cloud from Corneo.

Speaking of that, she wasn't sure how she felt about a man being deemed more attractive than she, when dressed up as a woman. Aerith, she could understand; the flower girl was genuinely beautiful, with a sweet smile and eyes that just sparkled with whatever little light was in the area.

Tifa got to her feet, eyes drawn to the lively yet fragile woman who stood with the aid of her staff, from around the side of the monster they'd defeated. She'd never met a magic master before, she knew they existed. After all, Materia shop owners all owned the basic precepts of using materia, but she'd never before seen anyone draw the hidden strengths of one of those crystalline orbs out with such ease. And the strange power she used as a refreshing wind in battle…

She hitched her shoulder and worked at the muscle, feeling it give slightly and sighing, the dent in the pipe close by testament to the crunching blow she'd taken from the monster that had left her dazed and facedown in the sewer water, trying to count the stars that whirled in her head.

Looking down she was aware both of them were looking at her, staring infact as she gripped her hands into fists, trying to mentally latch onto something. The old, ice cold grief was rushing up, the burning sensation hard in her heart, "It's too late," she tried to say, choking on the words. "Marlene… Barrett… the people in the slums…"

A cool hand touched her upper arm and before she could think, Tifa recoiled to stare the couple of inches down into Aerith's bright green eyes, filled with comfort. "Don't give up," she said softly, "Don't ever give up hope. It's not easy to destroy the pillar, right?"

Tifa stared and then gripped her hand over the delicate one on her arm and looked to Cloud – where had he been blessed enough to find this unrelenting soul, filled with such hope? "Yeah… you're right! We still have time."

Cloud nodded back to her and together they set off through the sewers. At one point, Aerith stopped them and began to dig through some garbage. The soldier almost said something, but paused when the girl straightened up with a shining materia balanced on the flat of her palm, a radiant smile on her face. "People throw away even the most useful of things," she explained softly, slotting it into Tifa's armour. It made sense, Tifa wasn't exactly bad with materia, but the yellow glow of a command materia was better suited to her nature.

"What type is it?" she asked as they walked towards the ladder leading upwards.

"A sense materia I think."

"Well, what does that do?"

"When you're in a fight and say the enemy seems to be slightly stronger than you anticipated, right?" Aerith smiled up at her between steps, accepting the help from Tifa to get over a pipe that blocked their way to the ladder which everyone could see by now, "So you'd want to know their weaknesses and exploit them, even perhaps know how tired they were getting. A sense materia helps you to do that. Just cast the magic through the orb and it'll tell you all about the enemy and will continue to do so until they're defeated, either by a knock out or well… you know."

"I gotcha," Tifa said.

"There's a ladder here," Cloud said quietly and together they slogged over to it. Without a second word, he went on up ahead and Tifa placed the flats of her hands together with frustration.

"He always does this, he doesn't think of anyone else sometimes," she grumbled.

Aerith couldn't help but laugh, much to the martial artists surprise, "But, at least this way he won't be looking up our skirts, I think he was thinking about that."

_I never thought of that… how much of a tomboy have I become?_

"I ah… I guess so." Tifa laughed along with Aerith and stepped aside, "After you. I'll be under you so if you fall, I'll catch you."

"I know you will."

They locked eyes for a moment, then the flower girl was shinnying up the ladder with slow movements, not as physically robust as the rest of them. Tifa risked a glance upwards at the slender legs that moved slowly between rungs and sighed, holding her arms out as if ready to catch her. But quickly enough the girl was gone up the ladder and out of the manhole.

Tifa lowered her hands and took a hold of the ladder, starting her own climb without a backwards look, bathed in the vague glow of materia on the slot in her bangle. The girl was a mystery to Tifa. At times she felt like she should hold her and run far away, so the world couldn't harm something so precious… and other times she wanted to keep her there forever, so she wouldn't feel so rejected.

Her hands gripped the tarmac beyond the opening and she began to haul herself out, blinking as the cool hands of Aerith tried to assist, however clumsily the attempt was. The simple gesture brought a smile to her face and she looked up and winked, as she crawled out.

"Aerith, I got you mixed up in all of this…" Cloud started, again.

Tifa felt like knocking some sense into him, preferably with one of the old derelict trains left lying around. She recognised where they were and took a quick look around as her new friend berated him in soft, deceptive tones.

"Don't tell me to go home."

She smiled and lowered her hand, glancing back at them. "Let's see… if we get past the trains that are lit up, we should be able to get out of here," she pointed northward. "That way."

"…" Cloud wrenched his blue eyes away from Aerith and then fixed Tifa with a faintly accusing look, as if she weren't helping the situation, then he started towards the trains with a grumpy sound.

Tifa took Aerith's arm, to her own surprise and murmured, "Don't worry, he's just a little upset because things aren't going his way."

"Poor Cloud," Aerith sighed.

But she didn't take her arm back either…

* * *

There was gunfire everywhere and she was forced to cover her ears at the loud barrage. Behind her, Aerith crouched over the body of the fallen Wedge, his round body broken from the massive fall.

Tears stood, shockingly, in those green eyes. Tifa wondered how she could cry for a man she didn't even know, for a life she had never been a part of. The compassion in the hands as they gently felt the broken ribs and the bit lip where blood was drawn to rosy under the skin.

She wished she'd never see the girl weep again.

It was all _their_ doing. _**ShinRa**_.

Tifa clenched her hands, glaring at the ground as Cloud went to help open up the gate to let them through onto the pillar. But she didn't hear him, staring until the floor should immolate.

"I'm going up! Aerith, you take care of Wedge." Without a second look, Cloud ran up the pillar base.

Tifa hung on, moving to crouch by Aerith who was weeping silently even as her hands went through the useless motions. The hardened girl had seen enough death to know that the glassy eyes and the lifeless sprawl indicated Wedge was gone, that nothing Aerith did now could ever matter.

"Aerith," she said softly, taking one of the hands and rubbing the back of it gently, "I have a favour to ask. I have a bar called 'Seventh Heaven' in this neighbourhood. There's a little girl there, called Marlene."

The sobs that wracked the body were lessening, and the smaller woman nodded, "I'll take her somewhere safe."

"…"

Tifa got to her feet and waved her arms around, yelling, "It's dangerous here, get out! Everyone get away from the Pillar, quickly! Everyone, get out of sector 7!" They stared at her, then immediately began to mill and gather items, precious, irreplaceable memories. Tifa looked behind her and saw Aerith get up slowly, and move woodenly towards the sector heart, where she could find Marlene.

Then, the fighter took her first steps after Cloud…

* * *

_…I've never seen angels cry before._

_Please let everyone live, please let everyone get by._

_What is this new silence? When did time suddenly stop for me?_

_…when the angel came into my life._

(A/N: Thanks to my reviewers - Kuramitsu (so sweet! my lurker, apparently :) ) Idlechild (I'm continuing!) Anoniemiss (awww no name left? I'll keep it up - something tells me it'll me loooong) and Princess of War ( hug ) )  
( ps: I don't own these lot, FF7 or Squaresoft (enix if you wanna be picky) but I really wish I did. You can sue if you want, but you'll only get moths...)


	5. Chapter 5

**05: Clip The Wings**

_Sometimes, when one person is missing, the whole world seems depopulated.  
Lamartine_

* * *

The crunch of bone was unmistakable. Fingers sought purchase but found nothing, slipping on the grate floor and leaving bloody smears behind in long trails, evidence of her passing, reminders that she was once there. Before she could sail over the edge into forever and down to the ground to join the final sleep, her back hit the safety rails installed to prevent such accidents from happening. 

Blurry figures fought back and forth, whipping swords and nightsticks, the ting of bullets hitting the air and she lay there dully, watching it all. The bomb attached to the console flashed the LCD numbers one after another and in her mind she placed a tick-tick-tick noise to it. She felt like screaming and venting her frustration.

She'd trained so long and she was lying here, paralysed and useless, just watching them beat away at each other like demented puppets on show for a delighted audience with a mental age of ten and under. Her dark hair fanned out, almost escaping the tied bobble she used to rein it in. Shakily, Tifa put her hands on the floor and tried to ignore the vicious sting of the magic and her own torn muscles. She had to get up and she had to get to her feet, otherwise all she would have done is laid there, broken. Useless.

She wobbled a bit, uncertainly, hair falling in the front of her face as sweat rolled down her cheeks. Insults were being exchanged in the air about her, but only the dull 'tick, tick, tick' of the clock in her heart kept on going, kept on pushing and striving. Hadn't she once sworn to be a master of the open palm? Hadn't Tifa Lockhart sworn she'd never be just someone second rate, easily pushed aside and forgotten about by everyone else?

Hadn't she sworn her own vengeance in blood?

"…It's time," rasped Reno, clutching his side.

She snapped her gaze up, looking to where the Turk staggered back. His unkempt shirt hung out and his clothes were torn on the knees of his regulation trousers and jacket arms. His hair, which was the colour of blood itself, was coming free about his glasses pushed up stylishly, and even the red tattoos on his face were strained with the effort of standing. Blood dripped from where his hand was pressed to his side.

She froze, staring at the wound.

_…Sephiroth did this to you…didn't he?_

Then the Turk was turning, running away in a skelter fashion, hither and thither and down the long stairs, leaving only crimson patches as a reminder that he had been there. Barrett wafted his gun arm about then grinned cockily, setting it to his shoulder as Cloud tried to shake off the effects of the paralysis pyramid technique Reno had used on them.

Tifa got to her feet and ignored those two who seemed to have forgotten their priorities and with a stagger no less stable than the Turks had been, she made it to the monitor and the LCD bomb, pressing fingers as quickly as she cold to the keys on the open board.

_Please, someone stop this!_

She pressed and searched the databanks, hurriedly looking for an uninstaller or rejected passcode that would open up the files needed to stall the bomb. But there was nothing, not a thing there to show her how to disarm it, her torn fingertips leaving smears on the keypad as she typed, getting slower with frustration with every passing minute clocked off by the numbers, luridly green. In a fit of temper she kicked the underside of the control panel and turned to Cloud, "I don't know how to stop this, try it!"

He came to her shoulder and she backed off, clenching her fists as he went through almost the exact same routines as she had not moments before. But there was nothing and the mercenary shook his head and turned around, "This is no ordinary bomb."

_Great – no shit Sherlock. Give that man half a brain cell…_

She bit her tongue and squeezed her eyes shut as they all three stood in momentary silence trying to take it all in. She'd pinned her hopes on his training, that something may have stuck in his memory from any of that and once again, her heart had taken a bruising blow. Tifa bit her lip too, feeling blood spring up from the pressure she applied helplessly.

"I'm such a failure," she whispered breathlessly to herself.

Then Barrett heard it first, turning with a growled curse as was expected from the giant's lips more often than not. She opened her wine-dark eyes and glanced to where Barrett was looking in expectation. There, a helicopter was coming closer with the snicking whirring sound of the blades passing through the air, keeping it aloft in the all the madness that raged helplessly on the lower echelons of the pillar. Tifa ran to the railing at Barrett's side to stare, Cloud drawing up behind her with that familiar presence. "…what…?"

"That's right," a calm voice told them and she clamped a hand on her long hair to keep it from whipping up in the backdraft of the helicopter. The speaker was a man in his thirties with a smooth, unlined face bar a couple of sad looking laughter lines that stretched from his dark eyes. His hair was long, to his shoulders at least and in the centre of his forehead was a red dot. His clothes however, mirrored those that Reno had worn in such a tousled fashion and his very air was commanding and firm. She was briefly reminded in a sad way of her old master, Zangan. He'd possessed the same calm authority that this Turk did. The stab of pain to her heart went unnoticed in the midst of the other tangled feelings. "You'll have a hard time disarming that one. It'll go off the second some jerk touches it."

"Please," she screamed over the noise of the helicopter, "Stop it!"

"…Only a ShinRa executive can set up or disarm the emergency plate release system…" he made an amused gesture, as if to point out that he wasn't capable of it. Tifa ground her teeth so hard that tears sprang to her eyes.

Beside her, Barrett roared into indignation, "Shut yer hole!" and moved the arm around to fire on the helicopter. She and Cloud raised their arms wordlessly to prevent the scattering of the blistering cases that sang, hitting the grating and falling away into the aching drop below them.

"I wouldn't do that," said the man, his voice somehow carrying, "You might just make me injure my special guest…"

Tifa frowned as he reached back and drew forward the struggling form in a pink dress and red jacket, the golden brown hair messed up beyond recognition with the familiar pink ribbon skewed in amongst the hair. "Aerith!" she screamed.

"Oh, you know each other?" He smiled, "How nice you could see each other one last time, you should thank me."

Cloud finally found his voice, just as she was shoving past Barrett's restraining arm, getting free to run towards the helicopter without a second thought. "What are you going to do with Aerith!"

"I haven't decided. Our orders were to find and capture the last remaining Ancient. It's taken a long time…"

She didn't hear the words just then, tucking them away for later as she got a foot onto the rail and stretched to try and grasp at Aerith's hands which were locked about the floor of the moving helicopter. "Aerith," she gasped softly.

Green eyes locked with her, shining with defiance and hope, "Don't worry, Tifa, she's all right!"

Tseng frowned and reached over, tugging the flower girl upright by her jacket shoulder and with a hand that held a device in it, slapped her smartly across the cheek. To Tifa, the girl took a horribly long time to fall into the helicopter and lie there still, showing only the soles of her boots. "Aerith!" she cried angrily and tried reaching for the platform just as Tseng's foot came into contact with her ruined fingers and pressed hard. Swallowing a yelp, her body betrayed her and let go.

She came to a stop on the grate and glared up at Tseng, mentally marking the Turk down on her list of people to kill at some point, the little 'Black List' she called it. He smirked at her and then with a renewed back-draft, the helicopter flew off. Above them came the sounds of joists creaking and strong junctions giving way. Helpless, she stood and angrily watched them go.

She would have stood there for longer perhaps, shocked to her core. How could anyone raise a hand to someone like Aerith, who had put up so little fight, only said a few words.

_…ShinRa… I hate them all…_

"I **hate** them all," Tifa whispered, forming fists with her hands, ignoring the blood dripping to the grate. The pain felt good, it reminded her she was still alive, it reminded her that she still had much to do yet.

"I'm sorry," Cloud offered quietly, but she pretended she hadn't heard him.

Instead, it was his touch on the arm that alerted her to Barrett swinging a large wire and hook about, yelling something about them escaping via it. She came over dully and hitched herself up onto his shoulder, the ruined hand cradled against his chest. She hoped everything would be all right with Marlene really, and with an aching swing, they flew off into the forever as the world that had been her home for five years crushed everything underneath it as it fell down…

* * *

_Aerith sat here earlier…_

She rubbed her hand, the cure spell having worked as well as she could have managed it, but the resentful voice inside told her Aerith could have done it better. Tifa was sat atop the very same slide that Aerith had positioned herself on only a day or so before this had all happened, staring not at the pile of ruins that was now sector 7, but at her own hand and the torn material that just about covered it.

Cloud was crouched by the unconscious Barrett, waiting for him to wake up with the curative materia clasped loosely in his hand. The green glow was vibrant, painting a sickly light across the two men. She didn't want to watch the wounds the large miner had sustained be healed; instead she pursed her full lips and stared at her hand, stared at it and cursed bitterly.

_Everything keeps slipping through my fingers. Why am I so useless? Why can't I hang onto anything at all. Friends, family, my home… they all just vanish like smoke, into the thin air and I never hear of them again. Vanished like the dreams of yesterday._

_I know you won't blame me for this ever, but what a failure I am to myself. I have failed myself too many times… and even now, even when he falls over and asks questions, I lie and lie and lie, until I should turn to dust from it._

_I lie, most of all to myself._

"He's waking up," Cloud advised as he drew back and she looked up, grateful to see the hulking bear of a man shaking himself awake. Stockily built and tall, he was as dark skinned as the Canyon people were, with a reckless grin and countless scars across his weary body; a fearsome exterior hiding a gruff sense of justice and duty, even love.

Since that time she had crawled her way to Midgar and collapsed, Barrett had taken care of her like the wayward younger sister he never had. He helped her build the bar from a dream of wanting to be around people again, he'd tried to keep her safe from harm without actually once ever stopping her from doing as she wished. Even Marlene treated her like a sister, or a young aunt. She owed him more than simple thanks. When she had wept hollow tears and screeched out her anger, her horrible, violent temper, he'd been there to help her pick the pieces up and put them back together slowly. He'd patiently waited until she was well enough to see that some things simply happened… and that life wasn't all about grief.

Losing him would be unbearable, she decided.

"Marlene," he said, putting a groggy hand to his head, then he leapt up, "Marlene!" His eyes travelled to the ruins of the doors and the glowing inferno of death beyond that, then they widened. She winced, and held her chest, touching the bumpy scar the sword had left down her otherwise flawless skin. "Biggs, Wedge, Jessie!" he hurried over, calling out their names, "Marlene!"

"Barrett…" She said softly, watching him.

"…" he fired at the door, then kicked… then wearily punched at it and sank to the dusty floor, holding his face in his hand, "Goddammit… god…dammit… to hell… what's it all for?"

"Hey, Barrett" Cloud tried to put his hand on his shoulder, but the large man shook him off, and went at the smouldering mess again, fists flailing. Surprised, the Soldier took a step back and glancing in uncertainty to her, and she sighed, slipping from the slide to go and join him.

"Argh!"

"Barrett, stop!" She grabbed one of the flailing arms and yanked him back, foot behind his so he was jerked from his centre of balance, "Please stop."

"…Marlene…" he sobbed.

"I…think Marlene is safe."

"…huh?" Those brown eyes stared at her in confusion.

Tifa dropped his arm so he stumbled away from her. She placed both of her arms about her middle and looked down with pain hidden in her eyes, "Right before they took Aerith, she said, "Don't worry, she's all right." She was probably talking about Marlene…"

"R…Really…?"

"But…"

There was a silence and Barrett looked down, "Biggs, Wedge, Jessie."

"All three of them," Cloud added quietly, looking for once, not so distant, but sad, "they were in the pillar."

"Think I don't know that?" Barrett snapped and then shook his head in apology, moving so his hand grasped the nametags that swung over his chest, then continued in a somewhat more despondent tone of voice, "But… we… all of fought together. I don't want to think of them as dead…"

"…and the other people in sector 7," Tifa nodded.

_…the old man who'd tell me stories about his time spent in Wutai._

_The twins who joked relentlessly about my cooking._

_Even Johnny, when he found time to write, all those letters are gone now too…_

"This is all screwed up, they destroyed an entire sector to get to us! They killed so many people!"

She narrowed her eyes and looked at Barrett sharply. "Are you saying it's our fault? Because Avalanche was here? Innocent lives were lost because of us?"

He stared at her then gave a strangled sob, reaching to take her shoulder with his good hand – it was heavy and real, this was reality, she reminded herself. "No, Tifa… that ain't it! Hell no! It ain't us, it's the damn ShinRa. It ain't never been nobody but the damn ShinRa. They're evil and they're destroying our planet just to… build their power and line their own damn pockets with gold! If we don't get rid of them, they're gonna kill this planet. Our fight ain't ever over until we get rid of them."

She looked him right in the eyes, fighting the surge of bitter emotions. It was their fight. Their, we, us, our. He was right, fundamentally so. She'd sworn in blood to see this through until the end, no matter what the cost might turn out to be and she nodded at him. He was right. He was more right than she would ever be with her wishy washy convictions, "I don't know," she confessed finally.

"What don't you know, you don't believe me?"

"No… I'm not sure… about _me_. About my feelings."

"…" he looked from her to Cloud and she let out the breath of air she hadn't realised she was holding in. "…an' what about you?"

"…" there was only a silence from Cloud who had, at some point in their exchange, presented his back to them, a back at which she frowned. Then suddenly he ran off and she blinked. Why was he running away?

Barrett looked no less surprised, looking at Tifa and waiting for some kind of explanation as to why the mercenary was acting even more strangely than normal. She placed her hands together then blinked and touched her forehead: she really must have hit her head!

"Oh, Aerith!"

"Oh yeah, that girl, what's up with her?"

Tifa scowled. _Nothing is up with her_, she felt like yelling, _nothing at all. She's perfect_. "…she's the one I left Marlene with."

"Damn, Marlene!" Barrett hurried after Cloud and she sighed, following him in a wordless jog into the ramshackle of sector 5, "Tifa, there ain't no turning back now."

"There never was," she said quietly to herself.

* * *

Aerith's house was just as Tifa had pictured it. 

In her childhood she had spent much time wandering the mountains of Nibelheim, looking at the flowers but never before had she seen such beautiful flora as the ones that exploded into bloom in the packed dirt around the small house. The house itself looked as if it had simply been stolen from a fairytale, rare sunshine flowing through some chink in the plate to bathe it and the scent of home cooking wafting through the window of the kitchen that opened onto the garden beyond it. Cloud knocked at the door, then entered at the good natured voice of the woman from inside.

They all filed in carefully, Tifa vaguely annoyed that neither male even bothered to stop and wipe their feet on the pretty doormat that read, 'welcome!' with flowery designs. Inside, the home was neat and cottage-like, with flowers in vases and expansive dining table greeting them, the kitchen just off to the side and if she hazarded a guess, the living room to the back where the radio softly played away to itself.

The woman who greeted them was maybe five feet tall if she tried to stand up straight, with hair that was now more grey than brown and kind eyes, webbed with traces of the years in the scattered wrinkles of good humour that characterised the face of Aerith's mother. They had a round of introductions and she shook hands with her, smiling gently.

"Cloud, wasn't it?" Elmyra said finally, turning to the blond, "It's about Aerith, isn't it?"

"I'm sorry, the ShinRa have her."

If Tifa had expected horror or fright, she was severely disappointed, as were the others; for the aging woman simply sighed regretfully and sat down, wiping her hands on the apron she wore. "I know, they took her from here."

"They were here!"

"It was what Aerith wanted," she replied simply.

Tifa didn't ask, she sat down with a horrified thump, staring at Elmyra. Her hands tightened, a flash of pain reminding her that the bruise from her own inept healing still remained on the palm of her left hand.

Cloud looked at her and she avoided his gaze, feeling incredibly guilty all of a sudden, then he asked Aerith's mother bluntly, "Why do the ShinRa want her?"

"Because, Aerith is an Ancient, the sole survivor."

"…what did you say? Aren't you her mother?" Barrett blinked and Tifa drew her dark eyes up to look at the woman, feeling the prickle of tears.

"…not…her real mother," there was pain there in the voice, pain in the eyes that looked away, as if through the wall to the garden. Tifa fancied that the mother were trying to envisage her daughter, running, laughing, tending those flowers gently, the life she cherished and helped protect and grow. "Oh, it must have been… 15 years ago. During the war," she smiled. The war, there had only been one war to be named so, the war of the west upon the eastern military power of Wutai when their two cultures had come into conflict; the nature loving Wutai had eventually broken under the force of the science that ShinRa forced on them. "My husband was sent to the front, some far away placed named Wutai."

Her voice became wistful, and Tifa tried to picture the scene as she spoke. "One day, I went to the station because I got a letter saying my husband was coming home on leave. My husband, he never came back…"

Elmyra sighed, "I wonder if something happened to him? No, I'm sure his leave was just cancelled. I went to the station every day… then one day… there was a woman and her child laid on the station steps with the attendant hovering by helplessly. The woman wasn't old looking, only about late twenties, early thirties at most with pale golden brown hair and the saddest smile I'd ever seen. The child was a young girl, perhaps five or so. She was the image of the young woman, beautiful… you used to see this sort of thing a lot during the war. Her last words were, 'please, take Aerith somewhere safe.'"

Tifa covered her mouth trying so hard not to cry, her own sympathy screwed to fever pitch. "My husband never came back and I had no child, so I was probably lonely. So I decided to take her home with me. Aerith and I became close very quickly – that child loved to talk!"

The martial artist hid a sudden smile – what little time she'd spent with Aerith had proven interesting and also somewhat exhausting. She really did have a talent for talking to people about anything and everything, making it all sound interesting. Elmyra continued;

"She used to talk to me about everything. She told me, she had escaped from some sort of research laboratory somewhere, and that her mother had already returned to the planet so she wasn't lonely and many other things…"

"Returned to the Planet?" Barrett interrupted.

Tifa took this chance to dash tears from her eyes, trying to fix her cool composed mask into place. Aerith had always been smiling, why didn't she let it show, that fear? It must have been so horrible, must still be so… there was no doubt in Tifa's mind that the laboratory was run by ShinRa. She added another tick on the 'Black List' next to 'things to do to the science department'.

"I didn't know what she meant, I asked her if she meant a star in the sky. She said no, this planet. She was a mysterious child in many ways… Once she came to me and told me not to cry, that I shouldn't be sad. Someone I loved had died, his spirit had been trying to see me, but he'd already returned to the planet. I was shocked and confused, but sure enough, several days later we received a notice saying my husband had died." Elmyra crinkled her eyes with a sad smile, the smile someone wears when the raw tears of grief leave only sadness behind, "And that's how it was. A lot had happened, but we were happy… until one day…"

"One day…?" Cloud prompted.

"…A man from the Turks came to see us. It seems he knew Aerith from her time spent in captivity. He said his name was Tseng, and unlike the bullies they can be, he never once laid a finger on her, only spoke to her. He told us that she was born of special blood, that Aerith could lead everyone from the slums to somewhere special, a place called the 'Promised Land'. It would be a place of prosperity and happiness. She denied it all of course, hearing voices, her unique powers… but I knew the truth. I knew all about her mysterious powers." Elmyra laughed softly, so sadly; it made Tifa want to weep all the harder, "she tried… so… so hard to hide it, so… I acted as though I never noticed…"

"It's amazing how she's managed to avoid ShinRa all this time," Cloud said in a measure of awe and wariness.

The woman looked from face to face, Tifa tried smiling but it felt wobbly and out of place. "The ShinRa needed her, so I guess they wouldn't harm her."

"But," Tifa asked, the memory of the blow to Aerith's face still strong in her mind, the long fall and then the stillness after it, "Why now?"

"She brought a little girl with her. On the way, Tseng probably found them and Aerith, being how she is, offered to let them take her away in exchange for the little girls safety."

"Must be Marlene," offered the mercenary and winced as Barrett burst in over it;

"Marlene! Aerith was caught because of Marlene… I'm sorry… Marlene is my daughter…"

"You're her father?" Elmyra frowned and stood up, and even Barrett paused in waving his arms about to take a step back. Tifa was briefly glad a table existed between herself and the two parents. "How in the world could you ever leave a child alone like that?"

"Please," he begged brokenly, "don't start with that. I think about it all the time, what would happen if I… but you gotta understand somethin'. I don't got an answer… I wanna be with Marlene but I gotta fight, cause if I don't, the planets gonna die. So I'm gonna keep fighting! But then, I'm worried 'bout Marlene…I really just wanna spend time with her… see, I'm going round in circles now…"

"I think I understand what you're saying. She's upstairs, the first room, you should go see her."

Barrett grinned and moved past, up the stairs with a clattering noise and cry of his daughters name. Cloud followed after, scrubbing sheepishly at his hair as he went. Tifa drew symbols on the lace tablecloth with the patterns of wings embroidered carefully on the hems and edges. She knew that Elmyra's eyes were on her.

"I'm sorry," she said softly, "this is my fault."

"Don't think that, Aerith doesn't."

"…how do you know that?" Tifa looked up sullenly, "Everyone always blames someone else."

Elmyra just smiled at her, motherly. A stab of grief tore her heart, how she wished she could recall if her mother had ever smiled like that. "Aerith never blamed anyone for anything. She'd say, it was just one of those things that happen. That if she kept smiling, then tomorrow would come sooner and brighter than today or yesterday. It's a good philosophy. Don't get me wrong, she's nobodies fool, and neither is she an airhead optimist… she just knows that you can't go around carrying grief like a burden and anger like a battering ram."

"…I'll bring her back," she said.

"I think you will."

"…" Tifa looked down, "I really am sorry though."

Cloud came down the stairs, followed by Barrett and she stood up, looking past Elmyra and setting her face stubbornly. _Let's see him try and order me around now, she thought defiantly._

"Cloud," she said, noting that he'd tried walking past her without so much as saying a damned word, how insufferable could one man be! "You're going after her, right?"

"Yeah."

"…I'm coming with you."

"It's ShinRa headquarters, you gotta be prepared for the worst."

"**I know**!" she snapped and looked away, sullen, temper grating at her nerves. "I _know_," she repeated, "Right now… I feel as though I have to push myself to the limit… or… or I'll go crazy."

_Crazy because I'm such a mess. All I ever do is make mistakes…_

She didn't hear much else, stepping outside ahead of them to take one last look at the flower garden which had been tended with careful hands, and a smile which bloomed no matter how little sunshine there was. An Ancient? Did that really matter anyway?

Aerith was a person, was someone who was fast becoming something dear to her. The simple words and gestures, the gifts given and the support for a heart she had thought too scarred to beat any longer, someone who had stopped the clock from turning over. She didn't want this to end here with something unavoidable, with another mess she made and couldn't get out of.

Tifa lifted her hand and frowned at the yellow orb as they said their goodbyes inside to Elmyra. It shone brightly.

_"…people always throw away useful things…"_

"…we'll see about that," she muttered as the door opened and closed behind her, and the mutter of, _"where to now,"_ drifted over. With a sigh, she turned away from the vision of flowers and heaven, to more mundane, tiring and soul scarring matters…

* * *

_She curled her arms about her knees and tried not to chatter her teeth with the old fear, faces pressed to the glass of the tank outside. She knew them and their faces. The Turks whom she'd had spent a lifelong rivalry with; Reno and his jokes, Rude and his taciturn silence and Tseng, who watched her with sympathy._

_Over the years, despite them having orders to bring her in, they'd also become a strange family. Reno had sometimes seen her when off duty – when she'd tensed to run, he'd wave a hand and proclaim, "It's my time off, kitten, don't sweat it." And would tell her jokes. Rude, too, took this attitude and bought flowers if he saw her on his time off. She grew to know their routines…_

_But Tseng had been lucky in finding her._

_The compassionate young man of her youth stared at her lovingly and sorrowfully, unable to do anything else and stuck between what is and what he'd like._

_She didn't blame him, she told him._

_…but the faces blurred as they left, so only one face remained, leering and greasy, with lank hair framing a thin face and sneering lips, oversized glasses and lab coat. She shivered and pressed further away from him, as best she could._

_…and bit her lips hard, blood running down her chin, so she would not cry out…_

_…she'd never cry out again…_

_(A/N - awwwwww, you guys, so many reviews! I was inspired by them... so I wrote some more! Enjoy it )_


	6. Chapter 6

**06: ShinRa and the Ancient**

_"Your friend is someone who knows all about you, and still likes you."  
-- Elbert Hubbard_

* * *

She hated this room. 

Even since her memories had become dulled with passing time, she knew it was still as cold and astringently clean as it had been in the days of her youth, caught by the traps of the cold iron tables and the stainless steel implements, winking with the strip lighting that flickered, flickered fitfully when an electrical storm passed the city and interfered with the wiring. The masks were discarded by the lab coats, lined up like dead soldiers along the wall on the pegs that hooked and tented them. The grate floor was hollow to slip trays that would soak up any spilt blood from operations conducted by the orchestra leader, the madman of the opera that was her life in flashbacks, here in the rising tower of ShinRa headquarters. She turned her head from staring avidly at the lift to freedom, the metal doors that opened softly had instead caught her attention.

A figure, stooped and pathetic in the way it shambled forward, a glare of light skimming over the moon glasses and revealing the cold, calculating dark eyes underneath; beady in their study of her. As if every hair on her body had suddenly attempted to stand on end, en chorus, Aerith buttoned her lips over a muted cry and squeezed her eyes shut. She'd seen the new tray of needles and drugs brought in, curled protectively in the latex gloved hands of the scientist. When she did risk a peek, she focused on the plain ceiling and the strip lighting, the blacked out one-way window and the camera for security logged towards the back of the room.

"Ah good, good," the scientist muttered, in his monotone, entirely unexciting voice, "You're awake, I feared I'd have to wake you up and I know you don't appreciate that."

His sinuous laughter made her teeth jump and chatter; she'd always loathed hearing that little giggle, like some private injoke was just too rude, too dirty and too good to share with anyone else. As he drew closer to her, she purposefully stared into his eyes, ignoring herself entirely. She knew she was a mess of scratches and holes from the first round of eager tests done hours before – her clothes confiscated for the purposes of this experiment.

He leaned closer and she tried shrinking back against the hard, unrelenting slab she was tied to, "You really have grown, haven't you."

"Aging happens to everyone."

"Not true," he crowed, "Not true, not true!" he chanted that mantra with glee, "I found a way to arrest the aging process. Sadly the results were less than desirable in the nature of development and end result, but the process itself is solid except for the unpredictable end. Of course, lacking true ancient cells, true Cetra blood I was unable to fully confirm my findings. You know, apart from helping them to find that Promised Land you people so covet, you can aid all my research."

She looked away, lank brown hair dropping down by her eyes.

"Have you started to hear the Planet properly yet?"

"…" Aerith willed her voice to dust, willed no words to be formed and instead with soaking tears christening her dirty cheeks, stared without feeling across the laboratory.

"And Materia? Can you handle their magical properties with ease?"

_I won't say a word, then he won't take away anything of me._

"I hear you grew flowers, are you a Botanist now? Or is that just a side effect of your Cetra heritage?"

_My flowers are beautiful – dirty them not with your voice._

"…you're being difficult again." The scientist sighed and there was a clink of needle against small medicine bottle, a gurgle of liquid. Aerith stared hard at the one way glass, knowing without having to be told she was going to be injected with truth serum, to try and loosen her tongue so he could collect the answers he so desired from her soulless, mindless speaking. "I regret to do this, really. Your co-operation would be far more gratifying."

"…you're such a liar, with two faces," she murmured sadly as the needle dug into the catheter. The odd icy sensation slowly started seeping in from the back of her hand.

"Perhaps, but I am brilliant at my work, and you are my work." Hojo gathered up his bottles and needles, adding in a casual after tone, "It'll take a few hours for it work fully, I'll come back then."

"…" she closed her gritty eyes and barely heard him leave.

* * *

_ShinRa Inc is a company which has become very much like a disjointed family for me. The black sheep that no one speaks of._

_I was born a Cetra, an Ancient, gifted with a talent to speak to the Planet, heal and nurture, give and give endlessly of myself in order that other things may flourish, may be. However, my lineage has become inseparably tangled with that of ShinRa. My mother never told me how she'd come to be captured by these people, but I never had time to ask, so busy weeping at her horrible wounds and the shaking terror that gripped my formative years._

_But others here, apart from those which would ruin my childhood, came to be dear to me. A strange thing for me to say I suppose, but they are dear to me, I love them all unselfishly in their own rights, for who they are. Is that wrong of me?_

_Tseng and Rufus are perhaps those that my childhood links itself to._

_Tseng, even after I left the clutches of ShinRa at his kind help, I knew the compassion inside him for me. But wept that such a kindness must be barbarised by the only line of work he had to take to free him from the Slums. I remember once, when I was a teenaged girl, begging him to leave Midgar and try a new life somewhere else, where the nightmares of his job wouldn't take a toll on him. You know what he said?_

_"This is the best I can do for myself. If my hands are to be stained with blood, so be it. Just don't stain yourself trying to help me… here, some gil for that rose."_

_A hundred gil. A hastily spoken conversation and the tears I'd weep for him. I know he hit me coming here, but I know he didn't want to. He wanted to stay strong because from above, Heideggar was watching him capture him through a security video loop – I could hear the crackle of orders on the personal communicator he wore at his necktie._

_Rufus had been a young child then, perhaps a year older than I am, but not much more. He had freckles that were so pale they hardly seemed to exist, his reddish blond hair and grin that always lacked a tooth or more. I saw him recently, the isolation of his childhood has made him grow up cool, stern and distant. I wanted to call out as the parade passed the streets of sector three. But I didn't, because he would recognise me, and I would have been captured._

_So much for that childhood friend._

_But I can't blame him; to be stuck between who you are the reality of how things are, it is something I sympathise greatly with. So I don't blame Rufus ShinRa._

_I fell in love, when I was no more than sixteen, a childish first love between me and a young Soldier, rising through the ranks of ShinRa to be a top notch warrior. He was bright eyed and dark haired, with an endearing grin and a heartfelt way of speaking that made me feel like I could do anything, be anyone. He never once told the ShinRa about me, and I never once let on that I was afraid._

_Zack, I wish I'd told you how frightened I was. How I was scared that one day, work would come between you and me and I'd be back here, where I am now. Instead I prolonged the inevitable and enjoyed a silly fluffy romance that led to me missing you for different reasons, as you fought some distant mission… and never came home._

_A year after Zack was gone, more Turks joined the search for me._

_Reno, a loud mouthed braggart on the surface, but acutely aware of the hard work needed to do anything. He might always talk before he thought the implications through, shoot his mouth off constantly and always end up making more trouble than he solved, but Reno hid his heart of gold deep and called me his 'Kitten'. He insinuated I had a talent for tangling lives up like a ball of yarn, so easily._

_Rude, cool and collected, hiding his warm eyes behind sunglasses. Whilst he never spoke all that much, he stood loyally by Reno's decisions and always cared for how I was doing, bringing me medicine when I was sick or buying flowers to help me._

_How bizarre, you might say and you'd be right._

_To me, ShinRa occupied a large chunk of my thoughts and I, theirs. Whilst they didn't capture me, when they were off duty, they cared for me as best as I could. Because in –their- eyes, I was ShinRa too._

_…my strange family._

_Now I'm here again, strapped down, tested on, drugged and abused and bombarded with questions. The table is cold and my skin shivering. I can hear my teeth chattering, only a simple thin sheet laid over my nakedness, protecting me from the air, but a shallow protection it is. My hair is a ruin of tangles and my cheeks dirty with the salt of half shed tears._

_I don't know what to feel, staring at the one way glass._

_All I know is, I never wanted to come back here. I am sad and hurt…_

_…but perhaps, it's just one of those things?_

* * *

Something was pressed into her hand and she cracked her tired eyes open to peer at the pink ribbon, the knot half undone from when it was in her golden brown hair, keeping it away from her face, the useless materia hidden in the fold of the knot. 

"Stop dropping stuff, Kitten," a soft voice said, and she looked up at the face of Reno, the scar like tattoos wrinkled with his smile. He was slightly bent over, she recalled seeing him run down the pillar, hurt and clutching his side.

"Reno," she said quietly, "are you hurt?"

"The docs patched me up, I just got handed some time off though." He straightened with a wince, hand pressing to his side, "I hate taking holiday time."

"It'll be good for you."

"Ah, maybe."

"…" she took a breath, "Thank you, for not hurting them too much."

"… yeah well, only cause I like ya, Kitten. I gotta go. Sorry about all this."

"It's just one of those things, I'm sorry too" Aerith said softly as Reno stared at her, then miserably slunk off towards the door, hands in pockets. She tightened her fingers over the ribbon and materia, as if holding it there would somehow make it all better.

* * *

The dust hammered up from under their feet and she covered her mouth to stop the cough she knew was coming. This floor of the building looked as though it hadn't seen a cleaner in well over six months. Bizarre to her mind, as so many people walked past outside that they had to keep dodging in and out of the rooms that littered the walkway towards the toilets, where according to the schematics they'd sneaked a look at in the library, there'd be a ventilation shaft leading to an overhead grille above the room where all the high to do's had just wandered into. 

To be honest, her greatest concern was Barrett and how he was going to actually fit his large frame into the ventilation shaft. But she didn't give voice to these worries for one really good, solid reason. He was a lot bigger and stronger than she was and she harboured no real desire to become 'Pretzel Woman!'

So she quietly ducked into the toilets after Cloud, noting it had to be in the men's toilets and without hesitation, ducked into a cubicle before the man who happen to be using a urinal saw her. She heard the zipper go and an awkward silence as he quickly washed his hands and then the slam-slam of the door behind his retreat. She covered her mouth against an intrusive giggle, amused at his sudden exit.

Her mirth however, was short-lived as the door to the cubicle was opened and Cloud stared down at her. Guiltily she removed her hand at his cool, composed expression. She found herself growing sullen under that gaze, moving aside to let him past so he could hitch the vent open by balancing precariously on the toilet seat edge. Half of her willed him to put his foot right in the damned thing.

_Of course I'm sulky, I hate how he always has to go around, proclaiming he's the leader, he's the best, blah blah... when really, he's no better than the rest of us. He has fewer clues, probably. What are you doing this for, Cloud? What does she mean to you?_

She looked down, hooding her dark eyes with a wrench of self pity.

_Would you go running into fire for me too? Or is it more because ... she's special to you? Well, she's... she..._

Her thoughts grew jumbled too quickly for her liking and the fighter gave an impatient shake of her head, strands of dark hair clouding about her with her impatience to be off, to be asserting herself in the rescue and sweeping in there, dragging Aerith from the jaws of doom and hopefully, in the process, making Cloud realise she was capable, she was worthy of -_his_- recognition instead of being on the sideline, clutching at a strand of hair and feeling lost.

She hated feeling lost.

A grunt made Tifa jerk erect from her slump induced by thinking, and she reached up to the vent with a stretch of her legs in a short jump, dragging herself in with little effort. Cloud was already sliding along the metal space towards the grate and she followed him, trying to ignore the curses of the bulky Barrett behind her. She had this peculiar image of the vent bulging wherever he happened to rest, so strong it was that she was forced to bite her lip in case she giggled too loudly. Again, Cloud offered her a curious, cold look and she pointed to the meeting in progress. They listened.

The suits, as Barrett had labelled them, were a disparate group. She knew the President by his face and figure of course, as head of the ShinRa Inc that ran and owned everything in and about Midgar city. The others she was only vaguely familiar with and then only by reputation. The fat, bushy bearded one had to be Heidegger, head of Public Maintenence and Order. He was a bully who ordered about the grunts and Turks at best. His territory overlapped into that of Scarlet, the blonde witch in the red dress that seemed to be missing too much material for Tifa's liking in strategic places - she governed the Weapons Development division. Sat close by was an obese, balding man in a cheap brown suit. That had to be 'Fat Man' Palmer, as he was nicknamed, head of Space Development and Exploration. The youngish man with the narrow beard and dark olive skin looked out of place and uncomfortable, but Tifa knew that it was Reeve, the newly appointed manager of Urban Development.

The crouched over the table like it was made of gold and listening, she wrinkled her nose.

"We have the damage estimates for Sector 7. Considering those factories we already set up and all the investments, the damage is estimated cost to rebuild Sector 7 is..." Reeve started but was cut into.

"We're not rebuilding."

The young manager stared down the table at the President and even from her vantage point, Tifa knew his eyes shone with shock and betrayal, "...w-what?"

"We're leaving sector 7 as it is, and restarting the Neo-Midgar plan."

_Neo-Midgar?_ She mused, _What kind of plan is that?_

"Then...the..."

"The Promised Land will soon be ours. I want you to raise the mako rates 15 percentin every area."

She almost coughed. 15 percentwas overkill, really. The people in the slums would have no chance to make the kind of money needed to even heat their homes or cook their food. Beside her, she could hear Barrett fighting his urge to run down there and lay bloody waste to them all.

"Rate hike, Rate ike - tra la la la! And please include our space program in the budget!"

"..." The president turned cool, greedy eyes from Palmer back to Scarlet and Reeve, "You two will divide the extra income."

"Oh man," Palmer whined sadly.

"Sir, if you raise the rates, the people will lose confidence..."

"It'll be alright, the ignorant citizens won't lose confidence. They'll trust ShinRa Inc even more..."

"Hahaha!" Heidegger boomed in, his voice deep and commanding, perhaps a touch too loud, "After all, we're the ones who saved Sector 7 from Avalanche!"

Tifa tensed and looked across at Barrett who had blazing, furious eyes. "That _dirty_ fu..."

She reached over and curled her hand about his, trying to reassure him that she felt the same way. Some of the tension drained away from his muscles and she smiled weakly. She did understand though, to pin the blame on someone else was totally inexcusable, though, should she have expected any better from this company at all? Her dark eyes cut across to Cloud and were unsurprised to see a complete lack of reaction from him; his blue eyes were riveted on the meeting below.

"Hojo," Tifa turned down at the sound of the President's voice, hunting for the man he addressed. Slowly he came into view, a thin and ascetic looking man with a pinched and sour face, highlighted by full moon spectacles and lank, greasy hair, "How is the girl?"

"As a specimen, she is inferior to her mother. I'm still in the process of comparing her to her mother, but for now, the difference is 18 percent."

"How long will the research take?"

"Probably 120 years," the scientist shrugged, a shrug without meaning, "It's probably impossible to complete in our life time. Or, in the lifetime of the specimen too, for that matter. That's why we're thinking of breeding her, and then we could create one that could withstand our research for a long time."

"What about the Promised Land? It won't hinder our plans?"

"That's what I need to plan, the mother is strong," he began to laugh, a sniggering kind of laugh where his shoulders bunched, "but has her weaknesses."

"That concludes our meeting," the President said. As he did, it was as if a magical spell were broken. One by one, they all began to file out with the rustle of papers and severe lack of definitive comradeship. Tifa watched them with burning eyes, even as the red clothed witch stopped and looked about with a mutter about something stinking.

She didn't care. She knew they had been mouthing off about Aerith. She knew it in her heart. She wanted to leap down and start tearing the building up, looking for the girl ShinRa had stolen from a life she'd cultivated carefully from fragments of a past. She wanted to shove her fist so far down Hojo's throat that she could wiggle her fingers out of his backside.

"There were talking about Aerith, right?"

"I dunno..."

Barrett's voice floated to her and together, they began shinnying out of the confined space into the toilet where they could stand about. She was involved in adjusting her short skirt, her mind focused sharper than ever now she'd been provided with a target for her wrath. "Probably," she said softly. "No, definitely."

"Then, let's follow 'em." Cloud nodded.

He went to the door and she followed, like someone drawn along by string attached to her throat. If she'd wanted to spend a lifetime sneaking after people, she would have gone to Wutai and trained as a Shinobi. Sighing to herself, she didn't even bother trying to sneak down the corridor, rolling her eyes upwards as Cloud strafed around a corner. Tifa wondered if he was humming some theme song in his head, pretending this was all some game of 'catch the scientist.' However, she did stop by his shoulder when he gestured and together they peered around the corner at where the door was left open after Hojo.

"They **did** mention the doors sticking, remember?" she offered helpfully.

"Seems too convenient to me," the gruff terrorist muttered and Cloud shook his head.

"Don't look a gift horse in the mouth."

"Cloud," she warned, or well, tried to warn, to her personal credit, "Don't go jumping in he...hey!"

Before she could finish, he was off and round the corner to the door. He held it open and without a choice as someone was coming, hurried along to it with Barrett, then two of them jumping inside just as the door snapped shut behind them. Tifa pressed a hand to her chest, feeling her heart thudding restlessly away to itself. Several interesting word choices haunted her lips and she wondered if it was illegal to kick him down the stairs. "Cloud Strife," she said angrily.

"We're in, aren't we?"

"That's not the point... we could have been caught, it could have been a trap, you didn't even pause to check for wires or lasers!"

"Oh well," he shrugged.

"...I... _I_..." she gobbled down her furious words, turning instead to the stairs and stomping up them, after Barrett.

The taller, bulkier man looked behind him and said thoughtfully, "I remembered him now, that's Hojo, head of the Science department here at ShinRa."

"Hojo...so that's what he looks like. I haven't ever seen him before," Cloud said, moving past them and into the corridor, this time for Tifa's benefit she was sure, scanning for traps and cameras. "He looks kind of weedy, greasy."

_But if you were in Soldier, and treated with Mako like Soldiers are... you should know him at least_.

Tifa shook her head, those jumbled thought whirling and revolving as they walked the steel corridors quietly, taking in the rooms and the strange layout. The signs on the walls were faded and the paint a little chipped here and there, but still intelligible when read. She drew her hands along the side of an office, and then paused once they entered what looked to be the underbelly of the main laboratory, a kind of holding place for large specimen jars and strange crates that some jangled and jumped as if alive. Noises and odd guttural sounds floated about, and once she jumped at the loud scream echoing from nowhere. She didn't like this place at all, she decided on a whim, clutching at her skirt and yanking on it as a cool breeze drifted by her legs.

Her eyes roved the specimen cells, one of them actually occupied by something, so she went close to the glass. Inside, a red furred creature lay, breathing heavily as if asleep. His tail looked as if it glowed, like firelight, wafting to and fro with undulating motions that drew her wine dark eyes in each heavy and lazy arc. She smiled and pressed her cheek to the glass. "Hello, my name is Tifa," she said softly.

It gave no response, only a huff in the pause that briefly interrupted the deep breathing, then it continued. She could see scars decorating the body of the magnificent beast, each looking cruel and horrible to her eyes, as well as several tattoos that she had no clue to the origin or meaning of. It looked peaceful, sleeping softly and far away in dreams of somewhere better than this stinking lab where despair seemed to reign.

"Precious specimen," she murmured, remembering what Hojo had giggled as they trailed him, "...are they going to use you for an experiment?"

The very thought froze her heart.

_The same kind of experiments they want to subject Aerith to. I have to hurry and get her away from here!_

Behind her there was a crash and alarmed; she turned to see Cloud on the floor, his eyes staring at the tank in abject horror or perhaps terror, shining with some hidden, half forgotten truth. Disturbed she crossed the distance and reached down, "Cloud?"

"Did you...did you see it? J-jenova..."

_...Jenova..._

"Cloud, be strong," she said, tightening her grip on his arm. A little pain would render reality back to whatever his twisted fiction was. "..._okay_?"

"_Did you see it_?" he repeated, and then winced.

Barrett muttered about seeing what, then hauled himself to the tank with the tiny window where Cloud had pressed his curious vision, then he too stumbled back with a vile curse tainting his lips, "**Shit** - where's it's fucking head! The whole things stupid... lets keep going..." Tifa knew he was frightened by the way he turned his back and grasped his dogtags in a shaking hand.

The bite of reality. The edges of pain.

Helping Cloud to his feet then began to work their way through the crates. Once she had to stop because she'd dropped her sense materia and it had rolled under a close by grating. A couple of times the creatures Hojo kept for the experiments had crept out of their ill fitting cells and attacked them. By the time they reached the elevator to the primary Lab, her fists were slick with the blood of the fallen and her heart pounded erratically against her rib cage. She thumbed the up button, feeling the plastic slip under slick fingers and closed her dark eyes.

Light and dark flashed in equal proportions until it slowed, giving that odd jolting feeling in the pit of her stomach. As a group they waded into the lab, knocking aside two assistants and jamming that lift incase one of them tried to use it. By a central specimen chamber, Hojo turned with a look of surprise, touching his glasses so the light shone off their surface blinding. But she had no eyes for him, only the huddled figure in the specimen chamber who was curled over slightly, knees to their chest. The flash of pink and brown hair that looked faintly tangled gave her away as being Aerith, the lively green eyes fixed on some distant point.

"Aerith!" she cried out.

"Oh, so that's her name." Hojo adjusted his glasses and then peered at the group. "What do you want?"

"We're taking Aerith back."

The scientist sneered and folded his arms, "Outsiders. There are so many frivolous things in this world." He didn't even flicker an eyelid when Barrett pointed his gun arm, something Tifa gave him credit for mentally; he was either a _complete_ lunatic or totally collected and together. "Are you going to kill me? I don't think you should. The equipment here is really very delicate, without me, who would operate it? Hmm?"

"Damn..." Barrett lowered the arm whilst Cloud took another vague step closer.

"That's right," Hojo said smugly, "I recommend you think things through logically before coming to any rash conclusions. Now, bring in the specimen!"

"Sir" called out a technician and there was a whirring sound. Tifa looked to the chamber which had begun to gather a pale light and winced, covering her eyes. Inside, the same lion like beast from down in the underbelly had been placed in the same chamber as Aerith and was this time awake, growling and looking furious. _Furious_ and_ dangerous_. **_Dangerous_**. Tifa's brain slowly kicked into gear, much slower than Aerith's did.

Inside the chamber she got quickly to her feet and ran to the other side and hammered on the unbreakable glass, shouting even if it came out quiet on Tifa's side; "Help!"

"What do you think you're doing?" Cloud shouted at Hojo, cheeks tinted red with his own temper.

"Lending a helping hand. Both species are endangered and on the brink of extinction! If I don't help, then these animals will disappear."

"H-how..." Tifa glared at him and took steps to the chamber side, "How terrible, Aerith isn't an animal! She's a human being." So saying, she hammered away on the other side of the glass to Aerith, trying to convey comfort to the distressed Ancient, who smiled waveringly back.

"You're gonna pay..."

"Barrett, can't you do anything?"

"Alright, step back," he hoisted his gun arm and suddenly Cloud was there, hauling her back from Aerith. She gestured for the girl to hurry away and she did, covering her face and bending over a little as Barrett fired off a barrage of bullets at the door and lock. The ping sound of their casings sounded loud and hollow to Tifa's ears and she ducked in case one hit the chamber wrong and ricocheted towards her.

"Stop," Hojo shrieked in dismay. The glass door gave a funny cracking heave and he hurried to it, "W-wha... oh... my p-poor specimens!"

Suddenly the door lurched open and in a flurry of red fur and fiery tail, the beast leapt free of captivity and sat himself down atop the frightened and bewildered scientist who could only manage a gibber of fear. Seeing her chance, Tifa made to fetch Aerith but Cloud was several steps ahead of her, running into the chamber, playing the god damned hero again. She looked away, trying to not appear sulky.

_Tifa, 0. Sideline, 2._

Cloud pushed Aerith out and she was however, gratified somewhat, to see that she was the first the Ancient came to, wrapping arms about her in a hug designed to crack ribs. But Tifa noticed the worried expression on Cloud's face, "Cloud?"

"The elevator is moving... There's something coming up here."

"I'll help you out, I can sense it's rather strong," the beast suddenly said.

It took all Tifa had not to stare and she was pretty sure she was failing as she stammered, "I-It _talked_?"

"I'll talk as much as you want later, Miss," it said politely.

"Tifa, take Aerith somewhere safe! Get out, we'll follow soon!"

"Alright," she said softly, grasping Aerith by the hand. Together, or more like she pulled the flower girl with her, they ran to the stairs down and hurried down them. Her heart fluttered and sang, feeling the cool grip of the girl in her hand and she smiled warmly for the first time in what felt like forever.

Soon they'd clattered all the way down to the 66th floor and stood there, breathing together as Tifa quickly checked her over for wounds or injuries. "Did they hurt you?" she asked softly with concern.

"...Apart from the tests?" Aerith joked.

It was wonderful to hear her joking again and Tifa smiled, straightening up from her fussing only to have her hands caught by Aerith's smaller ones with an exclamation. "What?" the fighter said.

"Your hands, the blood!"

"It's not mine."

"Oh... I was... well..."

Tifa laughed nervously and jerked her hands back, blushing. "Yeah, well, things got a bit hairy for a while."

"I can't believe you came all this way to rescue me." Tifa risked a glance back, cheeks burning; the eyes of the Ancient were brimming with joy and burning with life, so hot that Tifa wondered if she'd burn too if she got too close to Aerith. "I'm so happy you did. I'm sorry I caused so much trouble."

"You know what they say, the prettier the girl, the more trouble she'll be."

Aerith laughed, covering her mouth, "Then I hate to think what trouble you'd cause, Tifa."

There it was again, catching her off guard. She felt like her face must be bright red by now, so turned her back with a gruff cough and rubbed her chest, trying to order those jumbled thoughts. Did she even know the kinds of things she was saying? She wasn't even sure how she felt or more to the point, what it was she felt, starting to grow and glow brightly inside her, passionate feelings like great wings unfolding inside, wings that promised forever.

"Aerith," she said softly, her heart threatening to beat right out of her chest "I..."

"Ladies," said a cool voice and she turned with a disparate look ready for the owner.

Tseng merely raised a brow back at her.

* * *

"One date..." 

"_Excuse_ me!" it was the somewhat ruffled and upset voice of Tifa. Aerith covered her mouth and winced.

"Tifa, you're there too?" she tried tentatively.

"Yeah..."

They were all being held in cells. Not much to them really, a fold away bed and toilets that were really little more than sliding bedpans. The cell was uniformly grey and steel, with the same sliding doors that they'd seen throughout the building. Tifa and Cloud were together then, she assumed, which was good as they were both friends. She was being held alone, so she could only assume the creature they'd nicknamed Red and Barrett were being held in another. Luck had it, she was in the cell next to Tifa and Cloud. Aerith threaded her hands across her stomach, vaguely eyeing the faint bruise of where the catheter had been implanted into her vein.

"You know Aerith, I have a question," it was the lilting voice of Tifa and she pressed eagerly against the wall, glad of conversation.

"What?" she prompted.

"...does... does the Promised Land really exist?"

They had been taken before the President she gathered, informed of his nefarious plot, about the Promised Land and his stupid ideal that it was a haven for Mako. She looked down, knowing that all her new friends knew the truth about her now, that she was an outcast without any real root or home apart from ShinRa to call her own.

"I don't know," she confessed.

"You don't know?"

"All I know is..." her eyes grew soft and unfocused as they always did when thinking back on the words her mother had told her before all these strange events had even been placed into motion, back when she was been just another test subject, "The Cetra were born from the Planet, speak to the Planet and unlock the Planet. And then... the Cetra will return to the Promised Land. A land that promises supreme happiness."

"W-what does that mean?" Tifa's voice sounded scared, she supposed her voice did sound a little distant and dreamy.

"More than words, I don't know..."

"Speak with the Planet," Cloud mused and she smiled, finally hearing him join their conversation.

Tifa added, almost on top of him, "Just, what does the Planet say?"

"It's full of people and noisy. That's why I can't make out what they're saying..."

_It's probably because I'm a half breed..._

"You hear it now?"

"No. I... I only heard it in the Church, in the slums. Mother said that Midgar was no longer safe..." She clenched her hands together, "That is, my real mother. Someday... I'll get out of Midgar, speak with the Planet and find my own Promised Land. That's what Mom said...I thought I would stop hearing her voice as I grew up... but..."

Tears filled her eyes and she sat back down on her small shelf like bed. They'd gone quiet in the other cell and she welcomed the peace as she brushed those tears away. She hadn't heard the Planet for quite some time now... she missed both of her mothers in a strange sense.

Lying down, she closed her eyes and let sleep with the dreams she had grown used to, take her away...

* * *

_There was always water. She was swimming through it to the shore where no one else waited for her._

_Her strokes were even and her pull good against the current and undertow and soon she broke the bank, clambering out as naked as the day she was born. She lifted her green eyes and on the hill she could see a city, made of chunky crystal and half formed scallop shells, digging at the ground and rising the sky in graceful spires no eye could hope to follow, filled with the tinkle of music and long distant voices._

_But standing in her way was the woman, her silhouette dark and her eyes darker and sadder than anything she'd known before. In a voice snatched away by a wind that did not blow in her dream, the woman said, "Go back."_

_"I must go on."_

_"Go back... or you will die."_

_She hesitated but then without answering, walked past her and towards the city. Behind her, the woman crumpled to the floor and wept her heart out, broken and cold. For a moment she wavered and then..._

_...water..._

_...she was in the water and sinking. Going down so slowly, like an angel falling, like a feather gliding, to crystal depths where the world moved slowly. She lifted her arms and felt her hair rise around her like a fractured halo, a forgotten prayer, the beloved psalm replayed in the mind and heart. She lifted hands to the light above and below, reaching out and sinking, or perhaps flying._

_Then it was dark. She lay there, not breathing nor needing to, simply watching with distant green eyes in the water._

_Her heart was heavy with the cries of another heart broken cruelly, broken swiftly._

_"...I must," she mouthed silently to the water and closed her eyes._

_...there was always water. She was swimming through it to the shore where no one else waited for her..._

_(( A/N: I'm 24 today! the 6th of August WOOHOO! So to celebrate, I give you, chapter fiiiive! Tifa is so sweet and poor Aerith :'( - thank you for the awesome reviews. You're all fantabulosa! keeps you all ))_


	7. Chapter 7

**07: Forever Beyond**

"_Freedom means choosing your burden." Hephzibah Menuhin_

* * *

Was it cruel morning already?

She squeezed her eyes shut and curled her body into a tighter ball, wincing as her agued muscles screamed in defiance and then explosively, sighed and laid out straight on the fold out padded bench she'd used as a makeshift bed in the cell that was under-equipped for two people to share. One hand, still gloved from her exhausted state where she hadn't even had the strength to pull it off the night previous, came up to brush her fringe from her eyes. Tifa reminded herself to get a haircut for what seemed like the hundredth time since starting their flight into the ShinRa building.

Her senses, fine tuned by hours of survival training, martial arts and meditation immediately logged onto something being wrong; the air in the room wasn't musty, it held a coppery tang of blood and there was a heavier breeze than what the ventilation (poor as it was) had offered. She sat up, swinging her legs around in a smooth motion just as Cloud came belting through the door at breakneck speed.

She studied him thoughtfully for a brief, split second. Since they had become so heavily involved with fighting ShinRa this past week or so, he had changed. She knew it wasn't her influence at all. She'd spent weeks, months trying to coax him from that shell of lies he'd woven, the mistruths he told and she only enforced feebly because she didn't know what else to do, to help her friend. His eyes were brighter, stronger and he stood erect now, instead of slumping weakly at every word passed in his direction. There was purpose in the man that little crybaby Strife had grown up to be.

It broke her heart to think that his new found confidence was misplaced on a world he remembered only half correctly.

But then her sharp eyes noticed that the hand which gripped the doorframe was doused in blood, leaving ugly, congealing smears. She stood almost instantly, quickly retying her hair so it wouldn't waft about too much and into her face. "Cloud?" She frowned, "What's wrong?"

"Take a look outside."

She needed no second urging, realising with a pang of cold fear that their door was wedged wide open. Tifa brushed past him and ran the short distance to the end of the hall, skidding to a screeching stop so quickly her heavy duty shoes left rubber marks. The intersection of the hallway was decorated with the broken and twisted body of the guard. His head lay at a very unnatural angle and his eyes bulged with whatever it was he had seen before his unfortunate demise.

She bit her lip and swallowed; she was used to seeing such things, but it still made her confused and a little upset that anything should have to pass along in such a cruel way.

"I wonder what happened," she breathed, dark eyes boring intently as they flicked over the wounds sustained and the bloody puddle spread underneath the dead sprawl of the luckless guard.

"He should have the key on him," Cloud said from behind her.

Her skin crawled, watching him coolly lean down with a bend of his knees and rifle the pockets, entirely unmindful of the blood and where he knelt. She was glad she wasn't the one do to his washing – what a ridiculous thing to fixate on, Tifa scolded herself.

"Here," He stood and wiped hands on his knees; she couldn't help but blanch slightly at that, then she reached out and took the offered key card to Aerith's cell. "You fetch her, I'll get the others."

She nodded and turned away. Perhaps she should blindfold the flower girl so she wouldn't see the gory spatter of horror limning the walls in lurid detail. Aerith's cell was the closest one to the guard too and before she ran the card though the slot, Tifa hesitated, wondering what to tell the fragile beauty about what had occurred outside.

"Tifa?" the quiet voice said from inside, and she jumped, fumbling the card three or four times in a juggling act. She must have heard the voices from outside, the fighter crossly reminded herself and once she had a firm grip on the slippery card, ran it though the machine. It beeped and changed the green, the door sliding open.

Inside, Aerith was stood calmly in the centre of the room, holding one hand to the curious braided necklace and her face was pale. Down the smooth cheeks, tears cut tracks of salt.

"Aerith…why…" she said, lowering her hands and forgetting the cushioning lies.

"His spirit cried out so loudly… so… so loudly," The flower girl closed her eyes and swallowed, "There was something else, someone else rather. He came like a black shadow… and he just killed because he could."

Tifa could see the girl was shaking and moved swiftly to take those hands, the braided necklace was looking a little too strained and tight around the slender neck, and squeezed them. "Aerith, I forgot completely… I'm sorry."

"I…" those green eyes looked fretfully upwards, what was it she seeing so far away? "I wonder if it was… …him…"

"Him?" Tifa locked puzzled brows together, but before she could wonder further, Cloud came into the room and gestured to her. She nodded, "What news?"

"Red said someone non human did it," did his eyes flicker to Aerith? She drew the girl closer, protectively, "So he went on ahead. We'll follow and catch up."

"What about Barrett?"

"He's gonna clean the mess up."

"Alright," Tifa nodded and turned to Aerith, "I want you to close your eyes; it's a pretty horrible mess."

"Tifa," the smile was warm and just for her, her heart glowed, "I don't mind seeing it, but I think you mind more than I do."

"Well… of course, it's just…"

Cloud coughed and both girls looked towards him. Aerith moved away first, drifting and fading from Tifa's hand as she gravitated towards Cloud and she looked down, tucking her arms about herself.

…_what was I thinking?_

She joined the pair, that feeling of being part of something greater settling over her again strangely; she could see the same look in their eyes, the wonder of it. No, she wouldn't question what it was Fate had in store for her… instead she would simply go along with it all as best as she could.

Together they wandered cautiously down the corridor, their weapons hidden in a locker by the guard that Barrett had discovered the key for. Aerith held her staff defensively, sometimes using it to gently prod at things. Cloud seemed to hang back as a type of rear guard, leaving her to press on ahead of them. The silence was deafening, before this level had been a bustle of industrious, scientific activity. Now…

They came across several bodies along the way, all at strange angles with either limbs or neck positions. Aerith never once cried out, her face was entirely blank and smooth but her hands turned white knuckled on the staff she carried. Once or twice she even tried to hide the body before they got close enough, but her sheer physical strength for inert bodies was lacking.

They eventually came to the grates and chipped paint signs that signalled the underbelly of the lab above. There was a vast bloody smear along the floor and they followed it, much like a yellow brick road, but this one led directly to the furry fiery creature called Red. His single yellow eye glowed with some dark humour and his grizzled demeanour was less than impressed. Tifa came close to him, eyes flitting over the elaborate headdress that Red wore, dangling with beads and threading, but stiffened so it was a sharp pronged instrument to aid him in battle.

He swung his triangular head around and his muzzle split with a grim, long toothed grimace. "Jenova Specimen."

Tifa stared at the container; it had housed the body of Jenova, the head long since severed. Now the thick iron and steel has been ruptured, leaving nothing, not even fluid or scraps of skin inside. Her skin tried to goose-bump.

"Looks like it went to the upper floor, using that elevator for specimens," he nodded to it, and then bounded off towards it.

Tifa glanced at Cloud, seeing the horror reflected in his face that she knew was painting her own. His blue eyes met hers and she swallowed, looking away as sweat beaded her brow. Aerith, not grasping this exchange fully yet, had started after Red, so they followed.

The experiments Hojo had performed on creatures, they had all been turned loose upon them and they fought their way bitterly to the next floor, amidst slippery blood patches and strange scratching marks on the floor, as if something were dragged to leave a long groove behind it. Tifa stopped trying to figure it out, huddling in the elevator.

Jenova was loose, Jenova was free. The nightmare was real again.

Suddenly Aerith, who was beside her reached over and took her hand, holding it gently but firmly. In the light of the elevator shaft whizzing along, she could see the faint smile she gave. "When I was little," she said softly, "This particular area was my home."

"…not a very pleasant home, is it?" Tifa tried vainly, tried to smile, tried to find something cheerful inside the well of black despair eating away at her confidence.

"Not really," the flower girl sighed.

The doors opened and Red was already by another smear stain, shaking his head and with a cry he bounded off, yelling: "It leads up!"

"Up?" Tifa frowned, "Again?"

"…the President," Cloud murmured.

They followed, Tifa having to stop and help Aerith from slipping through the streaky blood and Cloud rummaging through the stock for potions and ether to strengthen their bond to the precious magical orbs in times of need. The smears curved around a corridor, drawing up towards the pinnacle of the building. Like previous times, the door was wedge open with deep mars and together they ventured in and up the stairs.

The 'penthouse' of ShinRa Inc was spacious, with a few desks and drinks machines, a vast lounge and rest area and what looked to be offices for management, like Scarlet and Heidegger. The smears went on past these and towards the stairs that spiralled up, one either side of the end of the lounge room, towards what would be the presidential offices. Tifa remembered this from their previous 'visit' to the old man who ran ShinRa with an iron fist and a greedy heart.

Slowly they wandered along, Barrett rejoining them and wiping his hand down on his slacks as he did. Tifa smiled in relief upon seeing him, but tightened her hand on Aerith's.

The suite was as she remembered it; vast open plan with a simple wide desk in the same cool surface they used on all the desks. It was clean, cold, and efficient.

Everything, apart from the figure slumped over the desk with…

She froze. Cloud froze with a strangled cry. Barrett hurried around the back and felt for the President's pulse then shook his head, "Nope, he's dead. The leader of ShinRa Inc is dead."

"Then," she stammered, "T-then that sword must be…"

…_Sephiroth… Soldier… ShinRa… I hate them all…_

…_I **hate** them all…_

Her hands trembled, eyes creasing with the effort of not breaking into wild tears and running as far away from this place as possible, dimly hearing what Cloud said. "Sephiroth's…"

"He's alive?" she half pleaded, half questioned. The fire, the burning fire… The pain in her heart and in her lungs… Too much smoke… Tifa felt dizzy and gripped harder onto Aerith who reached up to support her silently.

"Looks like it, only Sephiroth can use that sword."

_**That** sword._

"Who cares who did it," Barrett laughed, not sensing their mood, "This means the end of ShinRa Inc!"

A sudden movement caught their attention; Fat man Palmer to be precise, cowering knock kneed behind a palm plant suddenly rushed out to try and escape. Only they blocked his way and he fell back, blubbering. Up close, he wasn't a sight for sore eyes… really. His face was covered in pimples from the amount of pure sugar he must ingest every hour, his teeth looking less than desirable and his eyes, pig like and a watery blue. "P-p-please don't kill me!" he wailed.

"What happened," Cloud demanded, putting his foot close to Palmer's hand.

The fat man quailed and rolled his eyes from one person to the next. Tifa just stared at him, stared hard. "Se… Sephiroth came…"

"Did you see him?" The Solder's voice went quiet, intent, "Did you see Sephiroth?"

"Y-yeah I saw him! I saw him with my own eyes!"

"You really saw him?"

"Uh, would I lie to you?" he swallowed and amended, "…er …at a time like this? And I heard his voice too… something about not letting us have the Promised Land."

Tifa looked across at Aerith quickly as she gasped and covered her mouth, shaking her head. Sephiroth was after the Promised Land too? What did that mean for the fragile girl stood by her side? She frowned and looked back, confused again. She was always confused… and it only seemed to be getting worse. "So what does that mean? Does the Promised Land really exist and Sephiroth is here to save it from ShinRa?"

Barrett rubbed his dogtags, "So… he's a good guy then?"

"**_Good_** guy?" Cloud suddenly shouted, "**_Save_** the Promised Land? No way! It's not that simple… I know him. Sephiroth's mission is different!"

He was shaking and as they all stared at him, Palmer managed to wriggle his fat self free of them and make a wheezing exit from the building to a Helicopter which had arrived without their notice, hovering just beyond. Barrett suddenly kicked the desk and cursed, cursed deeply in some very inventive ways. "Rufus! I forgot about him…"

"Who's that?" She asked anyone who was bothering to listen right now.

"The President's son," Barrett supplied.

"…Rufus ShinRa," Aerith murmured sadly, bowing her head. Tifa stared at her.

_I sleep and the whole world goes mad simply to confuse me, that's it, isn't it? Why should that ShinRa trouble her so? Well… apart from being ShinRa, obviously…_

Cloud started after Palmer, Red and Barrett close behind but she took a moment to look at Aerith. Slowly those green eyes came up to meet hers, swimming with regret, sadness and loneliness, memories of the past reflected in those beautiful eyes. "…we should follow," Tifa said gently.

"…"

Tifa didn't wait for an argument, dragging the girl along with her and outside the building. This high up, the wind was strong and echoed about them with vicious harmonies and howling words, bitter dirges and she was forced to raised her hands now and them to damp her hair down. The two girls came behind Cloud and the others, she holding her wild hair down. Aerith paid her shimmering locks no attention, they whipped about her in a fey manner, her dress moulding sometimes to her legs, sometimes daring to flare up to her thigh.

Before them stood a young man, about Aerith's age or so, she would have guessed, with strawberry blond hair and a handsome face. His blue eyes were cold and distant though, as cold as the white he wrapped himself in suit wise. A creature looking a cross between a panther and goodness knows what else lurked close by the helicopter. So this was the dreaded Rufus ShinRa, the man no one had seen cry.

"So," he said in clipped tones, "Sephiroth was actually here. Who are you guys?"

"Cloud, former Soldier first class."

"I'm an Avalanche member!"

"Same here," Tifa affirmed.

"A research specimen."

Aerith stared hard at Rufus and, Tifa realised, his blue eyes were fixed on the girl with shock suddenly illuminating them, shock and raw grief, "A _flower girl_, from the _slums_," she said. Her tone dared him to label her otherwise.

"…_sweet little Aer'_," she could have sworn he murmured, then the distant look returned to his blue eyes. He started pacing, "My, my. What a crew! I'm Rufus, President of ShinRa Inc."

"Yer only President 'cause yer old man died," Barrett hollered.

Rufus graced him with a smile, frosty as it was. "That's right… I'll let you hear my new speech… Old man tried to control the world with money. It seems to have been working. The population thought that ShinRa would protect. Work at ShinRa, get your pay. But if a terrorist attacks," he smirked at Barrett, "The ShinRa army will help you. It looks perfect on the outside, but I do things differently. I'll control the world with fear. It takes too much to do it like my old man. A little fear will control the minds of the common people, no need to waste money on them…"

"He likes to make speeches," she drawled, watching him over her nails which she pretended to examine in an insulting fashion. "Just like his father."

Cloud whirled suddenly; he seemed to have noticed how Rufus' gaze was lingering on Aerith, "Get out of this building with her."

"What?" the burly man squawked, staring at Cloud like he finally had flipped out.

"I'll explain later, but… this is the real crisis for the Planet."

"The hell's that supposed to mean!"

"I'll tell you later, just take my word for it." Cloud glanced to Tifa and then to Aerith, blue eyes softening briefly. "I'll come after you once I've dealt with him…"

"Aw'right," Barrett turned and began ushering them along, "Later Cloud!"

Tifa struggled, trying to see what was going on but she was being herded down the stairs and from the suit by Barrett. Aerith too, looked similarly distracted, her fingers seemed to be too tight on the metal pole she used as a guarding staff, her hair still messed up from the high winds of the building and her steps not as sure as they were. Soon they entered the Lounge and on the verge of going through the door, Tifa stopped stubbornly.

This was wrong. She'd abandoned Cloud before, by letting him drop away into nothing. She'd always been on the sideline, waiting and taking orders. Something inside her finally snapped and she held her ground, hands clenched and eyes resolute.

"Cloud," Aerith said ahead of her, seeing Tifa stop, "I just thought of something…"

"…I'll wait here for him," she drew a shaky breath. "Everyone get to the elevator."

"But," the flower girl said softly.

"I'll be fine, go… check your equipment."

Aerith looked over her materia, and then quietly pressed one of them back into Tifa's hand; the sense material she'd given her days previous in the sewers under sector six and the train graveyard. Tifa smiled and curled her fingers about the yellow orb, understanding. The Ancient nodded in turn and then with the beast and Barrett, ran through another door.

_Nothing will get past me, Cloud… and I'll be here for you this time. _Tifa flexed her hands, hearing the sound of the experiments crawling up from the lab, skin crawling in unison with their sounds; _after all, you shouldn't throw away useless things._

* * *

It was taking everything inside of her to maintain the spells used for healing, summoning up the last dredges of her talent and skill to make the wind blow and revitalise them. A body came across her own slender one, forcing her down to the ground as the shattering explosion echoed out for the second time on the lift. The wind whistled past, the protective glass long since destroyed by the gunner machines and she looked out across the city that they were rapidly sinking down into.

Red slowly got off her and shook himself free of metal shards, tongue lolling out of his mouth as a wet pink strip.

"Thank you," she said softly.

"Think nothing of it, Ancient."

Aerith's eyes crinkled with her smile and she reached over to stroke his fur. She knew he protested vocally against it, but secretly loved the sensation of attention and companionship. Soon she straightened and stretched, arms to the sky as the lift whirred into telling them that they would soon be on the ground floor. "Just call me Aerith."

"An old name," the golden eye twinkled.

"I suppose. My mother chose it for me. I think its good enough. Barrett?" she called over, "What do we do after this?"

"Back to Sector 7 and then, well, we plan from there."

"Okay." She folded her arms about her waist and watched the ground floor open up before them, lift doors sliding back into place. Barrett hurried out first and she followed him, dress whispering quietly on her legs.

She'd never seen any of ShinRa below perhaps the 67th level. It looked to be a reasonable area, spacious, comfortable, designed for the populace to come in and buy ShinRa stock and produce, even check up on the latest developments, such as car prototypes and the like. The floor was marble and led to the vast main doors with booths that security guards would stand in and watch the others pass in and out from.

They ran quickly to the main doors and just as she was reaching for the knob to open a glass partition, Barrett grabbed her by the waist and hauled her back from a barrage of bullets. She yelped and covered her eyes.

_Their precious Ancient, they just won't ever let me go will they Mother?_

"We're surrounded," the burly man said, holding her back from the fire, "If I was alone, this wouldn't be a thing… but I got a reputation to protect!"

"You," she said softly, drawing both gazes, "You all get out whilst you still can. It's me they're after, not you."

"Yeah well, that ain't happening."

She stared at him, seeing what Tifa did in this large man and often foul language – the softness of his heart and the goodness in his soul. She smiled waveringly, tears threatening to spring up in her eyes.

"You got caught up in this over Marlene. Now it's my turn to watch out for you."

"…" she breathed.

He turned away and grinned like a madman, hoisting his gun arm recklessly, "Ok, playtime's over for you jackasses!"

"Thank you, Mr Barrett…" She bent her head respectfully, hair covering her face and the tears she wasn't as good at controlling; emotional as ever and swayed by the simplest of things to compassionate tears.

"Who you callin' Mr Barrett? That jus' don't sound right!"

"Well then, if you're both through talking, might I suggest we try and find a way out of here?" The creature swayed his fiery tail, looking at them both reprovingly. To her credit, she felt her cheeks heating and grinned in spite of it.

"So what are we gonna do?" Barrett demanded.

"Barrett!"

Aerith whirled, it was Tifa, waving from by one of the car stands, trying to get them to come closer. "She's alright!" she laughed happily, wiping her cheeks and began to run across to her, her two companions stood in surprise staring.

"Tifa, where's Cloud!"

"Everyone, over here," she said, pointing to a truck.

"Huh? But… what about Cloud?"

Tifa's mouth tightened slightly and she looked upwards with an aggravated sigh that made Aerith want to giggle. "I'll tell you later, but hurry! Hurry! That means moving your legs at a faster rate, you two."

"Tifa, you're so mean to him sometimes," Aerith laughed, getting into the passenger side of the three wheeler truck indicated, with the flat open back.

She was given that warm grin in return, lighting up the fighters normally sullen and sulk inclined features, chasing away any inclination to brood sadly, "Yeah well, I know he doesn't mind and he knows how much I care for him."

Barrett huffed and wheezed, making to try and get in to drive. Tifa frowned and slapped his hand off the door, "Huh, Tif'?"

"Oh you don't… Get in the back, both you and Red."

"But," his eyes trammelled to the back, "…but…"

"Just do it. If it gets scary, hug Red. Red, if it gets scary, lookout for Barrett hugging you."

The answer from the burly man was a deep throated grumble and Red lolled his tongue out in amusement. Tifa clambered in beside Aerith, looking for the keys. Aerith watched her hands move about and then leaned over and touched the ignition with her finger, murmuring. A small jolt of electricity tingled in her fingertip, then leapt out, starting the engine with a vroom sound.

"I'm not bad with electronics either," she offered quietly, smiling. "They're just not as pretty as plants or flowers."

"Is there anything you're not good at?" Tifa laughed.

Aerith looked away, putting a hand to her cheek to feel the raging blush but smiled, the truck hurrying on and crashing through a small glass panel with a shattering sound. Was that a compliment Tifa had just thrown her way? She sounded so natural, so at ease. Just as she was starting to wonder where Cloud was, he burst out ahead of them on a fascinating specimen of motorbike, all heavy exhaust and tyres, screeching along the stairs and through a window.

"Hold on!" Tifa yelled.

"Hold on?" She said in puzzlement, and then shrieked partly with fear, partly with adrenaline as the truck made a madcap dash for freedom through the same window, landing on the motorway and skidding off, with curses from a tumbled about Barrett streaking after them…

* * *

She saw to their wounds with deft hands, touching their skin and healing the cuts over with what could only be described as admirable skill. She knew she was a talented healer as well as botanist, but seeing the relieved smiles on their faces after the fight with a monster of metal that had rolled down the highway after them in a furious roar of fire and blood. She felt much better knowing she could take care of them, eyes glancing now and then to the slag heap of molten metal, all that was left of it.

Once they were patched together, the five of them stood looking at one another, taking in their faces.

Barrett looked tired but still in good spirits, his dark skin not showing any dirt but the rip in his trousers would need to be sewn as it was at an amusing place (the seam on his backside) and a makeshift half cloak had dealt with any uneasiness concerning who might see his underwear.

Red too, seemed okay, if bewildered about his surroundings. She can't say she didn't blame him. She had no memory of anything outside the slums and the ShinRa labs, so this was all wildly new and exciting to her too. But his body was badly scarred; she wanted to desperately ask him how he'd received such wounds and why they were left so untreated.

Cloud was taciturn as usual, his blue eyes distant and a hand placed under his chin in thought. His clothing had come out largely unscathed, but the scabbard straps for his enormous sword had been sliced clean through and would need a good leather-smith to put them back together.

Tifa stood to the side, looking at the city with a pensive expression on her beautiful face. A thousand worried seemed to cloud about her strong features, from her strong straight nose to the pointed chin and dark eyes that hid more mysteries than Aerith could readily guess at.

These were her friends.

This was a destiny that had chosen her, that had chosen them. Was it her destiny to gather these people and take them along with her, to see the world? To see more than the world: to see underneath it and then, underneath that?

"Well," Barrett broke the silence, "What do we do now?"

"Sephiroth is alive, I have to…" the Soldier tightened his jaw, "I have to settle the score."

"And that'll save the Planet?"

"…seems like it."

Aerith moved and smiled as Barrett held up his arm, "Awright, I'm going."

She moved to the edge of the highway. It had been left off during construction so bits of it hung jagged out into the forever beyond them, into the world. She folded her arms and said in her quiet voice that seemed to always grab anyone's attention, "I'll go too. I have things I want to find out."

"About the Ancients?" His voice warred between curious and worried. She knew why.

"…many things," was all she could say.

"I guess, this is goodbye Midgar," Tifa said, looking away from the sprawling city of inequity to them, eyes bright. Aerith said nothing; she knew Tifa would be happy to be away from this place.

In her own heart of hearts, she could hardly credit that she too was leaving finally, after years of dreaming that she would. The world, so vast, so new to her, it opened up with possibilities and dreams. She shivered and drew her red jacket closer to her shoulders.

They started for the wire leading down to the outskirts of the Midgar. The going down was less than easy for her; she had to blushingly admonish them to not look up, or even peek, something which made Tifa laugh helplessly – so much so, she lost her grip and fell four feet to land on her ass, still laughing. Eventually, after many pauses to try and grip her skirt down, Aerith made it alongside everyone else, staring out into the countryside.

She then realised, she didn't have a damn clue about the geography of this place.

…_No chance there's signposts?_

"Then, let's go!" Cloud announced, stepping ahead of them with a gesture at the horizon. Aerith held her hands together awkwardly, hoping someone actually knew where they were going, or better yet, how to get there.

"We need a group leader for our journey," The burly terrorist advised and then preened his short trimmed beard and grinned rakishly. "Of course, only me could be the leader."

"Oh," Tifa folded her arms beneath her chest, "You think so?"

"No," Aeris said quietly, "It would have to be Cloud."

Barrett muttered, "Damn you all then. Go northeast to a town called Kalm. If something happens, we'll meet up there. 'Sides, be dangerous having five people jus' strolling around the countryside. Split us into two parties."

"Okay… well I choose…"

"Tifa and I will be fine together, you boys have fun," Aerith interjected.

"…er…well…" Cloud stared at her and she felt her cheeks blushing, "I wanted to… you…"

Tifa looked angry, "Are you trying to say I can't protect her!"

"No! I mean… it's just…"

"We'll be fine Cloud. Trust me," she turned her smile on him, so energetic and open that he almost smiled back. She could feel Tifa give a start in shock, but she didn't take her eyes from Cloud, who finally and reluctantly nodded. "Thanks."

"Alright… let's go."

The boys all started off and Tifa turned to her. She twisted her hands together and looked up shyly at the taller girl. "What," Tifa questioned, "Was that?"

"I just wanted to spend some time with you. Don't be mad."

"I'm not, just a little taken aback. Cloud…" Those dark eyes filled with seven emotions, all warring for supremacy until Tifa looked away with a half smile, "It's been ages since I've seen him smile. Thanks for that."

"…"

Together they started walking, feeling the grass tickle and the sun shining down once they moved far enough away from Midgar. They talked, about flowers, about their likes and dislikes, about favourites in colour, music, clothes, books and even food. They talked about practically everything together, enjoying the companionship and soon, without either of them realising, sunset came.

Tifa, trained in the ways of the wilderness, set up a camp for them with a makeshift tent, saying that they'd buy some proper supplies from Kalm. Aerith made a supper from plants and roots she knew were safe to eat. Then with their stomachs full, they fell asleep.

Or Tifa did.

Aerith stayed awake and watched the stars overhead. She'd always wondered if stars looked like this, beautiful and distant. Her eyes moved to take in the profile of Tifa, eyes closed and her cheek resting on a hand, a childhood habit that was difficult to break, the other hand outstretched and lax, fingers splayed slightly. She moved her own hand to take that, curling her fingers together with Tifa's and smiled as the other girl tightened her gip.

Then she finally slept.

* * *

…_my… best friend…_


	8. Chapter 8

**08: My Secret Pain**

_But when the days of golden dreams had perished,  
And even Despair was powerless to destroy,  
Then did I learn how existence could be cherished,  
Strengthened, and fed without the aid of joy; _

Then did I check the tears of useless passion,  
Weaned my young soul from yearning after thine;  
Sternly denied its burning wish to hasten  
Down to that tomb already more than mine.

And even yet I dare not let it languish,  
Dare not indulge in Memory's rapturous pain;  
Once drinking deep of that divinest anguish,  
How could I seek the empty world again?

_-Remembrance by Emily Bronte_

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It was two days later, by the time they made it to Kalm. She was tired and sore her body not used to sleeping on the rough ground and the sounds of nature after living her entire life inside the city. But it had been an experience that now lay close to her heart, coupled with this sense of wonder.

The Planet had a beautiful voice that sang softly to her now that she was free of Midgar. It was gentle and sweet, she imagined if her mother had ever hummed to her when she slept as a child, then her voice would have been of the loving timbre that this voice was. She could almost visualise the stars echoing and the shimmering fall of night, creeping down over them and curling about them gently.

She stole a glance to the side, at Tifa.

The fighter looked hardly any worse for wear, apart from a smudge on her cheek that seemed resistant to all forms of attempting to wipe it away (Tifa had tried to grab her attention by swinging from a tree in a clump of brush, only to slip and fall directly into a quagmire. The end result had certainly ensured Aerith's attention, but, she surmised with a nod to the blush still evident in Tifa's somewhat embarrassed expression, not the attention she had exactly wanted.)

Tifa glanced across at her and then redness suddenly burst back into life and her wine-dark eyes tried to look anywhere other than her. She covered her mouth and giggled softly.

"Well, this is Kalm."

Still laughing into her hand, Aerith leant her staff against her side and stared about the open plaza streets of the small town called Kalm. It was completely unlike the image of industrial revolution that Midgar was: Kalm was clean and hospitable, with a fountain, message boards, open gardens and children running about in the healthy sunshine and air. The bakeries and small shops were open already, despite the early hour they had set foot there, no later than eight in the morning if Aerith's sense of time wasn't fooling around on her. The delicious smells made her stomach growl and with a grimace she cupped a hand to her middle. Tifa looked at her in surprise.

"I'm sorry," the flower girl apologised faintly, "I'm just so hungry."

"Really? But we only ate two hours ago…" Tifa frowned, "Is my cooking not that great?"

"No, no, it is!" Aerith waved her hands to stave off complaints as the two girls started into the town, booted feet clacking on the blue sheen cobbles. "I just… didn't eat enough. It sounds so bad, Teef, I'm sorry."

"Teef?"

"Well, I wanted to give you a nickname."

"A nickname, eh? Teef… sounds like something a dentist would say…" Tifa paused to look around and Aerith lowered her eyes to the ground with a weak downturn of her mouth.

_Now she thinks I only say stupid stuff. How clever I am… dentist!_

Her stomach interrupted all thoughts with another rampant growling session and weakly Aerith covered it with her arms, paling with her hunger. It sounded so loud! She never recalled being so hungry when she had lived in Midgar… must be that old wives tale about clean air and healthy living and without the smog to dampen her down… it took all her strength to stay upright, even with the staff.

"Can we get something to eat? I'm sure if they're here, they won't begrudge me eating something before I fall apart from hunger, right?" She gave her friend the best pair of pleading eyes she could, despite her comical hunched over position.

"I guess… there's a café over there. We can stop there and get something. Come on, you look like you're ready to drop," Strong arms supported her.

_I wish I were physically stronger… I feel like such a burden to her. She must always be so disgusted with me, falling over, getting tired, eating her out of pocket and gil…_

"It's a good job we came across so many monsters on the way here," Tifa said as they approached the shop, "Otherwise I'd have to start street performing to feed you and your hollow legs."

"Hollow legs?"

"Well yeah, look at you, you're like a reed."

_What a blow… now I'm flat of chest too. A flat-chest Dentist with an eating disorder…_

"I …do?"

Tifa grinned at her and helped her into a seat with a mutter that she'd hurry back with menus. Aerith watched her dance through the crowd and jostle with friendly ribaldry. Then she looked down at herself, in dire need of a bath and something to pull the tangles from her hair – it hadn't been her exact priority to stay looking half decent when she and the others had escaped Midgar.

That was all behind them now, though. There was no going back for her. She had to trust that her mother knew what to do for the best, and from guesswork on her part, that the young girl Marlene was still with her. No, her mother would take care of her, she was kind of heart and the little girl needed someone there to help.

She folded her hands into her lap just as a menu was slid before her face. She gave a start and looked across the table at Tifa who was smiling at her. The dark hair was sweaty but still shiny, it hung to her hips in a river of darkness, small strands and her heavy fringe clouding about her heart shaped face, dominated by wine dark eyes that always crinkled in good humour at her, accompanied by a self confident and determined voice.

"I think I'll be having a hot chocolate, what about you?"

"Oh, oh," Aerith quickly picked up the menu, "Um… probably the same. It sounds good to me. I'll take some pastries too… maybe with jam. Oh, strawberry jam. I haven't had that in years, not since it became too expensive…"

Her eyes flicked up and noticed Tifa was smiling, resting a chin in one hand with the elbow on the table. "Is that all?"

"I could eat the table, but they might charge me for that too," Aerith laughed and folded the menu back together and slid it back across to the other girl. She collected them together and waved a gauntleted hand to the waiter who came to take their orders down. Then, with a nod, he shuffled off to fetch them.

The service was excellent if nothing else, the pastries were sweet and came with the strawberry jam she had requested of them, piled high with that and clotted cream. She was so busy tucking into them that she hardly noticed the bemused stares of the other customers, watching a slip of a girl work her way through the fattening food like it was air to a suffocating man. The drinks came soon after, thick and dark, piled high with whipped cream.

Tifa drew her glass closer by the small handle attached to the side in non-conductive metal. Aerith eventually packed away the last of the food and then covered her mouth to hide the quick burp, blushing furiously, much to Tifa's delight and uproarious laughter.

"Ladylike," she howled, wiping her eyes between laughter fits.

"Hey, compliments to the chef," the Ancient huffed in turn and peered at her drink. Then she lifted it and took a long swallow of it, careless of the cream, just enjoying all the sweet tastes hitting her palate recently.

She lowered it and looked up.

Tifa was making subtle wiping gestures at her lip.

"…Do you have an itch, Teef?" She said politely.

"No… you…" rolling her eyes with a grin, she leaned over the table and wiped at Aerith's lip for her with a folded napkin. "You got cream on it," she winked and sat back down.

Aerith blinked a few times, and then covered her mouth. Then she had to turn to the side, her giggles far too strong to cover up. Tifa paused in bringing the drink to her mouth and then pulled it down, frowning at her, "What?"

"You…on your chest…"

Tifa looked down. The ample bosom had once again betrayed her – a huge spot of melted cream was making a widening stain on her white shirt. Aerith clamped hands over her mouth at the fighter's expression as it changed from shock to indignation.

"Damnit," Tifa swore and brushed at her shirt with her hands, completely ineffective. "Now I'll have to change."

"You were planning on not changing?"

"That's not the point… let's finish this, go to the inn and wait for the others. I've seen Cloud's orienteering skills… we could be waiting a while…"

_Not like any time with Tifa alone is ever a bad thing_, Aerith mused, eyes still fixed mirthfully on the spreading stain. _Comical, if nothing else…_

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She was, as ever, right.

Cloud stormed into the inn after a sour looking Barrett and a slightly worn out Red. The burly man looked as though someone had told him to suck lemons and to spite them, he had done: a whole bucketful. He clomped directly to one of the beds, stopping briefly to give Tifa one of his rare smiles and then gently check the fragile flower girl for wounds, whilst she laughed. Tifa also noted with a casual eye that Red almost immediately went to Aerith too, checking her over.

A small spark of her pride cried out: Yes, I kept her safe. I kept her safe from harm where others failed.

She looked towards the stairs and the spiky haired fellow who had finally crawled up the steps after the others, his face weary but his blue eyes bright still. His clothes seemed dirtier than before but his stance was slightly more erect.

She wanted to check him for wounds too, but she stayed where she was, sat on the edge of the bed wearing her most pensive expression and her most serious eyes. The pain in her heart upon leaving Midgar had only begun to intensify, because she knew Jenova and Sephiroth remained out there, remained in her life when she finally had figured the door closed on them. But Fate, laughing at her plans as always, had kicked her in the stomach when she thought she could go no further down.

"Cloud," Aerith piped up, "You're late."

"Sorry to keep you waiting," he said tiredly but flashed them all that cocky little smile and pushed his hair back with a hand that showed none of the tiredness that seeped into his voice.

"Guess everyone is here now," the ancient said softly, and Tifa looked up from her swirling thoughts to find the green eyes were locked on her. She smiled and nodded back, simply because she thought that was what Aerith was waiting for.

"So, lets hear your story," Barrett sat down on the bed two away from Tifa, and it creaked most alarmingly. He shifted and then stubbornly stayed put as it tried shrieking in protest some more. Tifa wondered if he were blushing under that dusky skin of his. "You know, the one about Sephiroth and the crisis facing the Planet, lets hear it all…"

"I…" Cloud stood there, then moved to the stair rail so he could lean against it. Everyone else left standing sat quietly, Tifa feeling Aerith's presence brush in against her, but her dark eyes burned into Cloud. "… …I… used to want to be like Sephiroth. So I joined Soldier. After working with him on several missions, we became friends."

"You call that a friend!"

"Yeah well, he's older than me. And, he hardly ever talked about himself."

"…." She glared so hard her eyes hurt, glared at him and compressed her lips tighter against any outbursts. Her hands curled into the covers on the bed – why didn't they turn red with her pained blood seeping from cracked and ravaged fingers?

"I guess, you'd call him a war buddy. We trusted each other… until one day…"

"One day?" Aerith asked softly.

_Lie to them Cloud…_

She stared at him. She stared through him. She stared into the past of her heart with flinching resolve…

"After the war it was Soldiers duty to put down any resistance. That was five years ago. I was sixteen…"

…_I was fifteen…_

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"_Dad, dad… dad!"_

_The house was quiet. I had grown used to this, he was probably out with some business associates as usual, having some lunch or the other, so I hurried to my room with the scatter of letters from friends who had all left me on my own in Nibelheim and threw myself onto the bed with the home stitched blanket that Mom had made for me years ago, when age made me youthful and my heart wasn't as grown up as this._

_I studied the newspaper again with glee, I couldn't contain my excitement and it almost wrinkled in my outstretched hands above my form on the bed, legs dangling and waving back forth and hair spilt out behind me._

"_ShinRa and General Sephiroth: coming to Nibelheim!"_

_The main headline in what was otherwise a town of commerce over the mountains and a small holding of Mako energy for ShinRa. But Sephiroth was coming and with him, perhaps Cloud would come home and I'd finally have someone my own age to talk to._

"_Yes!" I squealed and threw the paper down, punching the air excitedly, "Finally!"_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"Sephiroth's strength is unreal… He is far stronger in reality than anything you have ever heard about him."

"So where do you come in?"

"Me? I was mesmerised by the way he fought…"

"….."

_You're such a good liar, Cloud. You make me look like a fumbling amateur… you make me look second rate and for you, for our past that you have thrown aside, I feel like I have been lying to you, to everyone all my life…_

"…and then we reached Nibelheim…"

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_It was a hot day, so I had brought out one of my broad brimmed hats with me to try and protect my pale skin from sunburn too extreme._

_I say by the roadside on one of the milestones that were used before cars and electricity, before aerial maps had been made – chiselled with rough estimates of how far between towns, how far to connect between the lives of people. I wore simple brown clothes, a skirt and coffee shirt without sleeves and a waistcoat of some description. I'd even worn my hair down._

_The steps along the path were loud suddenly and I looked up from the dirt, bringing my gaze to the people I could see coming._

_One was tall and had his back to me, silver hair glinting long and free in the daylight, it was hypnotic, like watching a river flow. Then he turned and looked at me with emotionless green eyes, fixing me, sizing me up, recording and filing me away._

_There were two guards and behind them, someone with spiky hair._

_My breath caught, looking to him… but…_

…_but…_

_Before I knew it, I was crying. I was on my feet; trying to cram my hat down on my head so far the tears wouldn't show._

_Because it wasn't Cloud, but a handsome young soldier with black hair and violet-blue eyes. He wore your clothes though… he had your sword… he even brushed his hair and held his hips the same way... but this was Zack, Cloud…_

_Zack…_

_I ran from that spot into the village, weeping bitterly and later, in a clearing in the woods I told my master, my sensei about it and he held me instead of insisting I train that night. The stars, they were bright above me but like everything else I had once held onto, they were distant now. Beautiful, bright… and out of my reach._

_The next morning I was called out as the local guide to help them across the mountains. I felt bitter inside, because there was no Cloud, but the young man, Zack, tried his hardest to cheer me up. I stood to the side, talking softly to him as my father, precocious and not frightened of anyone when it came to me, gave Sephiroth a mouthful of words intended to instil some sense of responsibility._

"_Listen, Sephiroth, if anything happens to my daughter…"_

"_Trust me…" he said softly._

"_Dad," I rolled my eyes and put my hands on my hips, "I have two men from Soldier with me. Don't be like that." I glanced sideways to Sephiroth and put on my brightest smile: he can analyse that for all he's worth… "I'm Tifa, nice to meet you."_

"_You're the guide?" Zack laughed and I sighed. I was used to this._

"_Yep, the number one guide in town. Like it or lump it," I told him plainly._

"_Isn't that a bit dangerous!"_

"_If you protect her," the general murmured, "then where is the worry?"_

_I shivered. Even when someone begged for a picture and the general stood close to me, my skin crawled as if a million ants lived under there. Moving… Luckily, the snapshot was taken and I fled to the front of the line, taking up the pole position as the guide to get them safely through those dangerous pathways to the reactor._

_The going was difficult. The pathways were treacherous at best, loose with rocks and slippery shale and it had rained briefly the previous night, adding to the lack of suitable friction between feet and surface. I led them towards the easiest path, an old rope bridge that spanned the chasm between one mountain and the next, but I warned them that the bridge wouldn't take too much weight. Idiots!_

_Fools!_

_They kept coming despite my warning advice and the bridge snapped. I recalled shouting and my own voice being ripped from my throat in an aching scream as Zack grabbed my hand. Then…_

…_I came awake after being unconscious briefly. There was a guard missing._

"_Can we get back to where we were?" the General asked, brushing down his black leathers._

"_These caves, they're all intertwined like an ant farm. Oh and, Sephiroth, there seems to be one person missing?" I looked about, trying to find a sign of blue uniform that would be the guard, regardless of his condition._

"_This might sound cold, but we've got no time to look for him. We can't go back so we must press on. We'll travel together from here…"_

_I looked down and away, leading them once again. The spectre of someone lying dead on the Nibel Mountain haunted me as much as the chilling words of the general. But I did my job and led them through the caves, slipping past small entrances, rock slides and stalagmites and stalactites. Soon it opened out into a wide area where there was a shining light being emitted from the centre of it._

_I had been here a few times before but never really placed any significance on it beyond the fact that the colours here were stunning. Variegated tones of green and blue, shifting, whirling together in a raw morass that tickled the senses and I stood close to the source of the light in the cave._

_It was what looked to be a bowl cut from the earth itself, holding a chunk of crystal from which a thick watery substance that glowed green oozed and bubbled gently; even the air around it was revitalising._

"_What is this?" Zack said softly._

"_A Mako fountain." The cool voice of the taller soldier said and I turned to see him wander close and stand across from me at the fountain. I refused to back down, meeting his gaze as levelly as I could. "It's a miracle of nature."_

"_It's so beautiful," my eyes moved to the crystal chunk again, sadly this time, "If the Mako reactor continues to suck up the energy, this fountain will dry up too."_

"_Materia. When you condense Mako energy, Materia is produced," he had noticed the object of my gaze. "It's very rare to see it in it's natural form."_

"_By the way," Zack broke in, "Why is it when we use materia we can use magic?"_

_Sephiroth turned a completely withering look onto the hapless dark haired man and I smiled faintly for Zack, trying to indicate that I didn't know either – he simply shrugged in that 'cool guy' way he had. "You were in Soldier and you didn't even know that? The knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients is held in the Materia, anyone with this knowledge can freely use the powers of the land and the Planet. That knowledge interacts between us and the Planet, calling up magic…or so they say…"_

"_Magic," the younger man grinned rakishly, "A mysterious power."_

"_Ha ha ha!" It was weird hearing Sephiroth laugh and even I had to look twice at the tall soldier to check my hearing hadn't failed me…_

"_Did I say something funny?"_

"_A man once told me never to use such an unscientific term as 'mysterious power'. It shouldn't even be called 'magic'. I remember how angry he was!"_

"_What was that?"_

"_Hojo," he sneered, "Of ShinRa Inc. An inexperienced man assigned to take over the work of a great scientist… he's a walking mass of complexes…" So saying he moved from the fountain and I lowered my eyes in confusion to the fount of the power, merrily trickling away to its self with crystalline chimes._

"_A Mako fountain," I said softly, wanting to touch it so badly but daring not to. "So this is where the knowledge of the Ancients is."_

_The rest of the journey there was largely unspectacular. The Reactor squatted atop a flat plane on the mountain, leering down at the world and I was refused entry by the lone guard left. I remember stamping my foot and turning my back. "Hmph, fine, better take real good care of me then!"_

_They came out later… but Sephiroth had changed… what had changed?_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"…and this creature just burst out," Cloud sighed.

"Whoever would have thought the reactor held a secret like that," Tifa said in her monotone voice, her eyes no longer even bothering to look up to assign names to those speaking. She was lost far away in her own world, the pain searing and building in crescendo across her chest.

"Damn ShinRa, the more I hear, the more I hate them!" Barrett, strong, dependable.

"That would explain the increase in monsters recently. I think we should listen carefully to Cloud, don't you, Barrett?" Red, calm, collected.

"Tifa… you… were waiting outside then?" Aerith, gentle, loving, honest.

"…yes," she whispered, clenching her fists.

"We returned to Nibelheim. Sephiroth confined himself at the inn; he didn't even try to talk to me…"

"Then…" was she sweating? She felt as if she should burst into holy flames… "Then one night he just disappeared, right?"

"We found him inside one of the biggest buildings in Nibelheim."

Tifa stared into space, gritting her teeth, "The villagers called it ShinRa Mansion."

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_I don't know when exactly the fire started – I couldn't give you a precise time._

_All I know is, I woke up to a world that burned, the houses burned, the people burned, their flesh and faces crackling and bursting into nothing, fading away as if never having been, melting…_

_I ran out having drawn on my clothes and glanced about. The embers sparked the air and as I paused by the front of what had been Cloud's house, I saw Zangan crouched sadly over the corpse of what had been Cloud's mother._

"_Zangan, Sensei!" I cried out. "Who did this!"_

"_Sephiroth did this," he grated out, not looking up at me._

_I drew back fearfully, hand going to my lips in a defensive gesture as the flames burned higher and higher. Why weren't the people moving? Get up! Get up!_

"_Sephiroth… no… no way…" I looked at the mass destruction around me, "There's no way he could have done this!"_

_Then I saw my father from the corner of my eye, running out of sight up the mountain path and I started, stepping back twice in horror. A hand clasped about mine gently._

"_Tifa," Zangan said, "Don't go there, don't go into hell."_

_But I shrugged him off._

_The fire burned my skin and I felt nothing, racing after my only family along the mountain paths. The bridge had been newly repaired and made stronger over the time when Sephiroth had closeted himself inside the ShinRa building. So I ran over it with my breath dying in my lungs to the Reactor. This time, there were no guards, only a few fallen villagers with wounds and burns, the remnants of mako infused magic still screeching in the air._

_I ran inside and got lost twice in the strange pathways, but soon found where Sephiroth had gone, leaving a blood trail of footprints and the striation of the sword dragged beside him._

_I slid down the chains and froze._

_On the pathway lay my father with blood pooled around him and that loathsome sword next to him. My world, fragile made of cards, fell down about me and I could hear it shatter over and over again until the sound of it filled my ears._

_I rushed to his side, but it was pointless. His hand was cold. His face was lax and his eyes closed. I bent over him to weep, sobbing but torn also towards deep, deep anger. I had always had a temper… but this was so dark, and so tempting._

"_Papa," I sobbed, "…S-sephiroth did this to you… didn't he?" I reached for the masamune. "Sephiroth, Soldier, Mako Reactors, ShinRa… I **HATE** THEM ALL!" I screamed. I screamed so loudly and got to my feet without thinking._

_There was fire where blood had once run free in my veins, scars where my heart had been ripped out in a moment of blazing destruction and I ran after him. He was inside, at the top of the steps with his arms outstretched like some deity, fallen from grace with his serpentine grace and his silver, horrible hair... "Mother," he said, "I'm here to see you, please let me in."_

_Mother? A **monster** like him?_

_The very idea burned and scorned me and I went up the steps after him slowly, a sneer contorting my face as I held the sword low as I had seen done in some Kendo movies. "How could you! How could you do that to Papa and the townspeople?" I sobbed, "I'll kill you!"_

…_and I tried._

_There was a struggle and I lost the sword. He moved so fast that I couldn't keep up with his movements and then… then there was pain and the sense of floating, falling and stopping._

_As the world spun into fire, darkness and the pain in my heart, I had tried._

…_and not once, Cloud, had you been there as you say…_

_--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

"I cut him with this sword, then after a fight where I was wounded, I threw him into the boiling mako with Jenova's head…and that's the end of my story."

"Wait a damn minute, ain't there more?" Barrett demanded, scowling hard.

She looked up, feeling dead inside. They were all, thankfully, watching Cloud with expressions ranging from disbelief to horror.

"What happened to Sephiroth?" Aerith asked quickly, to head off any arguing.

Cloud looked worried and shook his head, pacing slightly with the restless motion to his movements she recognised from his time spent cooped up in the Seventh Heaven hideaway. "In terms of skill, I couldn't have killed him."

"Official state records list General Sephiroth as being dead. I read it in the newspaper," Tifa added on top of Cloud.

"Yeah but," the flower girl shook her head, golden hair shifting in the light through the window, "ShinRa Inc owns the newspaper, so you can't rely on that information."

"I want to know the truth," the blond asserted, "I want to know what happened then. I challenged Sephiroth and lived – why didn't he kill me?"

"…I'm alive, too," she murmured, glaring right at Cloud.

Suddenly, he looked away, putting a hand to his stomach and she frowned, but before she could press further, Aerith chimed in again; "Seems like a lot of this doesn't make much sense. What about Jenova, Barrett and Red say it was in the ShinRa building…?"

"ShinRa probably shipped it from Nibelheim to Midgar."

"But," she pressed, "Did someone carry it out after that… it's missing from the building, right?"

"Sephiroth…?" Tifa said softly.

"**Damn**!" Exploded the burly terrorist suddenly, standing up and waving his arms about as he tended to when riled up, "Don't none of this make sense! I'm leaving the thinking to you; I'm going… going… GONE!" and so saying, stomped down the stairs again to leave them all to stare after him.

"What an interesting story," Red muttered and followed the bigger man.

Tifa looked sidelong at Aerith, then just as Cloud was making to go too, she finally had to ask before it burst inside of her; forcing the words out had never been so difficult before, but she needed to know. She really, finally, had to know the truth. "Cloud."

He stopped and looked back at her. Those blue eyes, so sincere and trusting, she felt like hitting herself hard in the gut for being such a damned liar! "How… how bad was I when Sephiroth cut me?"

"I thought you were a goner. I was really sad…"

She looked down. He left, so the room was quiet but for Aerith and she, both girls staring at their own feet. Tifa didn't know what to say, the entire story had been put on, had been so close in the details but so far away.

"Tifa," the flower girl said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"…How much of what he said was actually true?"

She snapped her head up so fast, she was sure the neck should break, dark eyes boring into the hesitant green ones of Aerith. The fragile girl hand her hands clasped in her lap and was sat in a halo of daylight, but her expression was sad instead of being fraught with humour and fun, as she was used to.

_How sharp your insight is – is this one of the powers of the Ancients?_

"…you… noticed," Tifa said lamely.

"It's not hard to. You wore different expressions. It's almost like he was telling a story that wasn't precisely his. I don't know what the difference is yet, but when I put my finger on it, we'll help him sort it all out." She smiled.

"…"

"And, when you're ready, Teef, you can tell me all about your side of the story?"

"I will."

Aerith looked to the stairs and tilted her head so the heavy bangs of golden brown shaded her oval face, "You know, people lie for all different reasons. I'm sure it'd all be easier if everyone told the truth, but the pain it'd cause some people wouldn't be worth the honesty after all. When people are ready to live with the unbiased truth, then they are ready for life to show them all the wonder it has to offer." The green eyes sparkled as they looked back to her, followed by an endearing giggle, "You looked so sad. I wish I knew what you thought about."

"It is sad," Tifa said quietly but smiled too.

"I don't mind, I have my own share of sad stuff, but having you here, I don't feel all alone anymore. Isn't that… how you feel?"

The fighter reached over suddenly and took her hand; she couldn't say why she did so exactly, but the physical touch comforted and enforced the bond that was quickly growing. "It's exactly how I feel."

"Then, we'll be best friends." Aerith beamed, "So we won't be alone."

"That's the best idea ever, but we should get going."

"Girls, we're going to walk the countryside – there's a farm out there. We left you a PHS and some cash… don't lag!" Barrett yelled up and Tifa scowled.

Once again, she was left to defend Aerith on her own. But… after seeing the state the boys had trawled in at, she was briefly glad of it. She looked across at Aerith who was laughing and she raised her brows, "What?"

"You're thinking what I'm thinking," she laughed, "along the lines of, 'Thank heavens – you look like you fell through a cesspit, hedge and several dozen teeth backwards when you walked in!' Haha!"

Tifa laughed, "Exactly. Plus, they left us some money. I didn't tell them we had some already."

"Alright, Materia shop time!" Aerith crooned and stood up with a stretch. "I need something new to play with…"

"Then lets go there and hurry after them, so they don't end up falling into a swamp and being eaten by a giant swamp snake or something ridiculous," Tifa rolled her eyes and stood too, ushering the laughing flower girl out ahead of her.

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The dreams came that night again, under the stars, but changed;

_There was always water…she was swimming through it, to the shore where the woman waited for her. In her arms she carried flowers of fire which she threw shimmering onto the water one by one._

_Her strokes were even and her pull good against the current and undertow and soon she broke the bank, clambering out as naked as the day she was born. She lifted her green eyes to the woman and then looked to where she had come from. One the horizon a city in fire burned and the woman was staring across the water with eyes made from sadness._

"_What is that place?" she asked._

_The woman answered in a voice snatched away by winds that did not exist in her dream, "It was my home."_

"_Why is it burning?"_

"_Because it bargained with the Devil and now pays its price."_

"_The Devil?"_

_The woman's voice was sorrow and cut her keener than any knife, "He came with promises and left my life broken. I am broken now."_

"_I will heal you," she said and laid her hands on her. Soon enough the crack that ran across the chest of the saddened woman healed and she smiled. The woman smiled back at her, then, together they walked forward into the woods._

_They said little, watching the stars glitter and the heavens radiate, majesty rising with the pale and heavy moon over the canopy and setting dappled highlights on their faces and soon, all too soon it was time to go._

_She stepped away from the woman but was surprised to find her barring her path; eyes that were darker and sadder than anything she had ever seen before and in that same snatched away voice, pleaded brokenly, "Go back."_

"_I must go on."_

"_Go back, or you will die."_

_She hesitated, longer and heavier than the first pause, but still moved past her and towards the city made of crystal and shells and echoing music that no longer was remembered by the bards of this time and world. Behind her, the woman crumpled to the floor and wept her heart out, broken and cold. She wavered but for a moment, then…_

…_water…_

_She was in the water and sinking. Going down so slowly, like an angel falling, like a feather gliding to crystal depths where the world moved slowly. She lifted her arms and felt her hair rise about her like a fractured halo, a forgotten prayer, the beloved psalm replayed in the mind and heart. She lifted hands to the light above and below, reaching out and sinking, or perhaps flying…_

_Then it was dark. She lay there, not breathing nor needing to, yet the cold water soaked up her tears and they were forgotten too, melding forever with the water as she stared unseeing at the vague light above the coldness that had become her body._

_With stiff lips, she cried out sadly, "I'm sorry!"_

_Then she mouthed sadly and silently to the water as she closed her eyes, "I must."_

…_there was always water… there was always… _

_…Tifa…_

_(( A/N: Yar, chapter 8… wow… this thing'll end up huge, won't it ?Keep reviewing, I love any opinions given – but NOT flames, rawr…))_


	9. Chapter 9

**09: The Hidden Mysteries**

_"Those who dwell among the beauties and mysteries of the earth are never alone or weary of life."_

_Rachel Carson_

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The grass tickled.

No matter where she stepped it tickled ever so delightfully on the backs of her legs and up the inside, whispering deliciously. A few times she'd caught herself laughing for no reason other than the familiar touch of the grass on her skin, coaxing out the silvery giggles from her lips and putting a vague tint of colour in her already tanned cheeks.

Tifa, who walked with long legged ease beside her, showed no similar comfort which the grass offered on her very bare legs considering the short skirt she wore, a confusing mixture between bar hostess and deadly martial artist. She seemed to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to shade her face under a straw hat she'd bought before hurrying out from Kalm after the others. Aerith supposed that she didn't want to expose her fair skin to the sunlight.

She couldn't understand why though. The sunshine was so alive that the warm sensation of it on her skin reminded the Ancient that she was free and flying far away from Midgar and ShinRa. The possibility that they'd never catch her now made her once-caged heart soar and sing, like the larks looping overhead with twittering, sweet song.

So it was that she danced on the verge of every step, hands behind her and the staff held slightly awkwardly between her hands as she did so, the bumping rhythm of her hips setting it to swing between jouncing steps.

Aerith did notice that Tifa sometimes looked at her from the side-on view, dark eyes crinkled and soft, and her pink lips parting with a small secret smile. As long as Tifa smiled though, she supposed it hardly mattered what the cause was for such humour on the pretty face.

They'd been walking for two days now, with suitable supplies for walking large distances, such as a blanket each, brushes, toothpaste and favourable cooking utensils for outdoor hiking. Aerith carried what she could considering her physically weak frame, but Tifa seemed more than happy to carry what she could and more. They'd purposefully packed as lightly as they could. When they stopped each evening, Aerith made certain to help gather roots and berries, as well as use the bar of rough soap to wash their clothes as best she could, hanging them to dry by the small fire before both girls succumbed to the sweet lassitude that being under the stars seemed to draw down across them.

So it was that she bore the burden of the light blankets and Tifa jangled like a rusty iron works with every step she took. But the jangle was more an accompaniment to their striding and brisk walk through the rolling countryside.

Aerith had only ever seen such things in picture books, hoarded carefully at her home.

The world was beautiful, it caught at her throat to think so, and seeing so, smelling so was even better. The horizon was far and where the sky ran down towards it, a deeper azure tone tinted it. The sun was bright, warm, and life-giving to this lush, verdant world. The grass grew long and now and then she saw a bobtail rabbit run with a flash of white into hidden warrens. Trees clumped together like a clique of high school friends, and waved their branches in frond-like hellos and goodbyes to them as they wandered past, towards the distant spot marked on the map that Barrett had helpfully left for them.

"Tifa," she said finally, "How much farther do you think we have to go?"

"Probably just another day and a half, if we keep walking at this pace." The fighter looked across and smiled again, that secret thrilling little smile that made Aerith want to blush for some unknown reason, "Can you handle that?"

It sounded like Tifa always wanted to say something more, like she was deliberately stopping herself from saying extra words that would leave them only with awkward silence after they were said. Aerith humoured her hesitant wish to keep the words to herself for now, instead tilting her head and smiling sweetly, "Of course."

"I just worry, you're…"

"I know," the flower girl laughed and danced ahead a few steps so she could walk backwards, smiling so much that her eyes closed in a delightful manner, "I know I'm not very robust, but the more time I spend away from that place, the more robust I should be, right?"

"They say nature is healthy."

"Exactly. You're very much a worrywart, Teef."

"I can't help it, I've always been this way."

"Always?"

Tifa looked out over the horizon and Aerith turned a little, knowing that it was past her shoulder, but guessing that Tifa felt slightly embarrassed by this subject. So she turned and walked ahead of her, looking quietly at the horizon. Time passed, melting the sun towards a far away sunset.

"I just," floated Tifa's voice, "You… see, ever since I was young, I've always felt that time was running out. Like there was something I had to do and one day, there'd be no time left for me to do or say what I have to. When Cloud moved away from my home, Nibelheim, I felt it tick more strongly, louder than ever. After… it just kept going and going, and I'd worry over everything, wondering when that moment would turn up when I'd have missed my chance, you know."

"I think so."

"Then, you turned up into my life and… and the ticking stopped."

"Teef," she said, unable to keep her eyes on the distance and turned to look at her in the failing light. She struck her foot badly on a hidden molehill and yelped in surprise, reaching out.

Tifa's hand caught hers and gripped hard, dragging her back upright and very close to the martial artist who stared down the bare inches separating their heights at her. Aerith peered up through her bangs, blushing and cursing herself mentally for being such a klutz. "Tifa…" she repeated softly.

"Aerith, thank you, for stopping the clock for me."

"I didn't… do anything…" she looked anywhere other than up, feeling the heat of Tifa's gaze on her no matter where she cast her own cool, green gaze. "Really, I didn't."

"You came into my life when I needed someone the most. I just… there's something I have to…"

"Tifa?"

"…I think… I feel, I mean…"

"Hey, it's them! Tifa! Aerith! You guys awright!"

Aerith blinked as Tifa stepped away in quick embarrassment and waved to cover the break in nerves, to the fast approaching blob in the twilight that owned Barrett's voice. She looked down at the grass, trying to swallow past this sudden burning in her throat and chest, pressing a hand there shakily.

_What was that?_

"We're fine but your directions weren't much help," Tifa called cheerfully.

She stood there in mute silence as her friend hurried towards Barrett, the grass no longer tickling her legs, just lying there soft on her skin like a hand placed to her cheek but nothing more. Even when they called her over she walked as though in some confusion, her normally sharp tuned senses pushed all over the place and together they walked to the campfire that Barrett and the others hand made and ridiculously she told herself that she would be grateful of company other than Tifa for the first time in ages, and from the way Tifa avoided her gaze suddenly, knew they both needed some space.

_I wonder why she keeps tripping over words. What did she want to tell me?_

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Two days later, she folded her arms on the fence that surrounded the farm whilst Cloud and the others were off trying to hunt down the fluffy golden birds, leaving her and Barrett to their own devices. Barrett had discovered a small stream close by and like many men, developed this indescribable urge to fish it dry.

However, this being her first time close to a Chocobo despite seeing a few drawn carriages in the slums of Midgar, she decided to spend a little time standing close by them and listening to their strange song. They automatically came to her, as every living creature seemed to do on purpose, drawing close and pushing their beaked faces into her shoulder or chest, seeking approval, affection and physical contact. Without anything else to compare such an effect to, Aerith had to simply assume that this was part of being an Ancient.

So she stroked and touched their feathers gently, crooned mimicry of their warbles back to them and laughed at their antics to try and cheer her up, dancing around her each other. To her surprise however, one deposited a red toned materia in her hand. She stared at the gem and the faceted nature of it, seeing her own face peer back in reflection from the panels.

Then there was a ruby flash and the face of a Chocobo warked out at her joyfully. Startled, she moved it around between finger and thumb, and then settled it into a slot on her heavy duty bangle, a comforting click telling her that it had bonded successfully with the material of the bracelet.

_A summon materia. Been a while since I've seen one of those, and to think that the chocobos had one…_

_There's something in the air around here and I think they can sense it too; the sensation of dread that hasn't quite passed yet and it's rich. It saturates the very air… I can't breathe sometimes for feeling it. Doesn't that sound awful of me to say so?_

_They'll be back soon._

So saying, she dipped her hand down to where she'd spread her red jacket and drew from the folds a purple diary, emblazoned kindly by the lady in whose shop she'd bought it not days ago when they went shopping in Kalm; both her name printed in inks on the front as well as the name she'd given this work she was collecting together. With it she drew out a pack of pencils and a simple pen with which to makre her entries, as well as some tape squares she was going to use to stick bits and pieces into it. She opened it to the third page in and started writing.

As she wrote, she sat down with her back to the fence so the chocobos drew close to her and tilted their heads in avian puzzlement, then squawked and flapped their wings when she didn't return the warmth of her kind attention to them, instead humming as she wrote a few passages then paused to draw out the items she was inserting into the compilation. Feathers from their rambunctious attempt to grab her passing attention drifted about herself and she laughed well naturedly, stopping to blow at some.

Soon, as the suns had fractionally inched across the skyline, a dark shadow fell across her lap and with a movement that she forced to slow, deliberate laziness, she closed the diary and put the pens away. Her green eyes travelled up automatically to be greeted with the grin of the dark silhouette that could only belong to Tifa Lockhart.

"We got some," she announced.

"Good then, I hope you didn't have too much trouble." Aerith slid the diary into the jacket and stood up, brushing mown grass and feathers from her pink skirts, then hauled her jacket up with her.

"Not too much, no. But for the first time in a few days, we get to spend the night in a real bed instead of making pillows from rocks and lumpy molehills." Tifa pulled a somewhat comical expression, heightened by her hands behind on her hips. "Come on, we'd best go check that Cloud has enough gil for this."

"I can't believe there's a swamp nearby. Almost like a strange irony."

"Sort of. How was your afternoon?"

She knew that the fighter was dying to know about the diary but she purposefully kept her mouth shut on the subject, instead smiling sweetly as they walked towards the farmhouse together, "I spent some time watching Barrett trying to decide if a chocobo would bear his weight. When I suggested a diet, jokingly, he almost chased me round the stable!"

Tifa laughed, "Can you honestly imagine Barrett trying to eat celery instead of half a cow each mealtime? Hahaha!"

She laughed too; it felt a bit better than the strained silence since that moment...

_-"A man with a black cape?"_

She froze as Tifa clamped a hand down on her arm; she paused and searched her friends' face for some clue but there was only tension and fear spreading in a slow ooze over those beautiful features, the dark eyes wide and head bent to eavesdrop. Knowing it was a little wrong, but also wondering if listening would give her some more clue as to why Tifa froze so much at the mention of Sephiroth beyond what she knew already of Cloud's 'story', she abided by the hand and waited, hearing the voices continue.

_-"Why yes, he didn't even get his'self a chocobo. Just strode on across that swamp like 'twere dry land, I tells ye."_

_-"Was he tall? Silver haired?"_

_-"Aye, 'twas. Are ye friends of that stern, strange man?"_

_-"In a sense. We're trying to catch up to him."_

_-"It'll be dark soon, no time for anyone to cross the marshes at nigh'fall and you have with you those of a fairer disposition y'might say. We have beds aplenty for them."_

_-"I get your drift. We can pay, we have enough, but only for the girls. I'm not afraid of the dark out there."_

_-"Many-a-mans said that and suffered a terrible fate..."_

Tifa pulled back from listening, eyes distant. For a split second, Aerith could have sworn she saw tears in the dark eyes but as soon as they glistened, they were banished from sight with a toss of her head and sweep of dark fringe.

"Looks like he was here," was all the fighter could offer as an explanation.

"Don't worry. We'll catch him."

"...I hope so. Let's get some food and then sleep, Aerith, it's a long day tomorrow."

She watched as Tifa pushed from the stone wall and wandered towards the stables where Barrett was just emerging from. Her hand crept up to the braided necklace about her throat, eyes following the motion of the fighter and she hardly heard Cloud talking away until he touched her elbow - she jumped a foot into the air and came down with a startled jolt.

"C-cloud," she stammered lamely. "You frightened me."

"I was just asking if you're alright, you looked a bit distant there." His eyes were warmer than ever and filled with concern. She looked down and blushed.

"I was thinking."

"About your heritage?"

"..No, about other things... Are we sleeping outside tonight?"

"I thought you'd like a bed and a hot bath for once," he scrubbed his hand into his bright gold locks and she suddenly wanted to mess his entire hairstyle up beyond any gel-based repair, her fingers literally itched with the mischievous need to do so.

"Because I'm a girl?" She said, slightly mockingly, but grinning.

He blushed and looked to the side, "No because... uh..."

"It's alright, I was only joking. My shoulders are killing me from sleeping on the floor in the grass, I'm just not used to it. I'm all frail and stuff. I keep worrying that I'm dragging everyone back time wise by being so... well, fragile?"

"Fall and I would carry you, Aerith," he said softly, "I swear it."

"Another promise?"

"..." he smiled, a mere cock of his lips to one side in a crooked fashion and then offered the key to the room she'd be spending the night in. "Sleep well."

"I will. I think I'll miss tea and just have a big breakfast. You sleep well too, Cloud." She smiled and watched him go too, her head an utter whirl of emotions and feelings she couldn't put her finger on at all. With a sigh she nodded to the old farm owner and wandered inside, putting her staff against the wall with her boots, as was the custom, and then padded barefoot to her room. Inside it was sparsely decorated, a faded flowery bedspread and a small basin with water. There was a chest of drawers, copper bathtub that longed for hot water and on a small bedside table laid a simple daisy.

She went directly to the flower and picked it up, holding the petals to the light and studying it with bemusement. Where had this come from? Before settling in for sleep she went looking for a vase to hold the gift left for her...

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_"Higher!" cried the girl in pink._

_She pushed harder and higher she flew on the swing, laughing and tilting her head back on the down so her hair streamed out behind her, ribbons falling free and wild._

_"How is that," she asked her. She was drab, in blacks and whites, painted monochrome - the girl that flew lived in a world of colour - she would break if her hand, scarred and bloodied, tried to touch her. She wanted to touch her, she wanted to be part of that world, that life..._

_"Wonderful!"_

_The sky was blue and turning dark quickly. So she said to the girl in pink, but the cries for 'higher' and 'higher' went on with sweet resonance. So she pushed willingly, gave freely of herself so that she might rise higher._

_Higher._

_Higher!_

_The swing came down empty and she peered at it. "Where are you?"_

_But there was no answer other than the mocking cry of the hollow, abandoned wind and the black sky._

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"You look tired," Aerith said softly, seeing the dark circles under Tifa's eyes the next day. She looked as though she'd slept in her clothes too, looking rumpled. Her hair was the only part of her that had escaped what would appear to be a night of tossing and turning.

"I had a bad dream."

"Well, you and I will be riding this chocobo together," the flower girl eyed the yellow bird side on, "and I can honestly say I've never ridden anything in my entire life."

"Bit of a steep learning curve. I'll take front then, you just hang onto the back of me. Just not too tightly, I want to stay in one piece." She frowned, "But we can't take our weapons two to a bird, I don't get it."

"I'll be taking them," Cloud added from where he was reining up the saddlebags to a bird, "I'll look after the weapons whilst we cross and Barrett will have to side-saddle with Red, as he needs help staying on."

"_Curse_ my evolutionary lack of opposable thumbs," murmured the reddish cat dryly as he slunk past. The birds made no single sound at his passing, as they would have done if he were an ordinary cat. Aerith stroked the neck of their bird and watched him slink towards Barrett, tongue lolling out in a grin.

She knew that grin, it meant trouble.

Red moved and rubbed his head on Barrett's leg, "Hold on tight, won't you?"

"Damn cat!" Growled the burly man and hopped around, "Better not be marking me, y'hear! I'm my own property!"

"For how much longer?"

"No ideas, **jeez**!" he went around the other side of the chocobo... and Red followed like a shadow.

Aerith cupped a hand over her sudden grin, laughing softly as they danced about the bird that began to think it was some kind of game and started following Red about, so they ran in some caucus race circle, one after the other. Tifa covered her eyes and sighed, more of a groan than a sigh, but the sigh was melded into it. Cloud just stared.

"Keeping good spirits up," she said softly, "Good friends. Just what we need."

They all paused and looked towards her. Aerith blushed and lowered her eyes, the day was warm and the grasslands glowed, alive with energy only she could feel. It was a wonderful day and the Planet soared with her heart as she strove to keep in those good spirits herself. "I mean," She added, "I just want us all to remember. Sephiroth is the main goal... but also, having good friends in each other, it's not something we should throw away, or take for granted."

"You're right," Red said softly, his voice as ever, deceptively quiet. "People tend to take such things for granted and forget. It's a day of comradeship, let's go."

"Yeah," enthused Tifa, taking hold of the reins and hopping onto the chocobo, her casual air of competence settling the beast of burden right down as she held out her other hand to help Aerith up, a hand she gladly accepted. "Let's enjoy the moment!"

"A'wright, come on ya damned cat," grinned Barrett. His manoeuvre was less subtle, more of a scooping motion where Red was deposited next to him.

"...let's go, everyone," Cloud concurred, soon aboard his chocobo.

Aerith smiled and held onto Tifa. They lurched and soon, with a stride that was quicker than she had expected, they were off across the marsh and jumping from fetid patch to sinking quagmire. She revelled in the wind in her hair and laughed. Around them, others jumped and held onto their reins hard.

She laughed as Barrett started singing away, completely off key but enjoying himself immensely, so much so that she soon picked up the tune and sang along with him as Tifa laughed at them both. Red then added his own touch by howling into the wind, but quickly stopped as several bugs tried to lodge themselves in his throat.

She was so carefree that as the edge of the swamp came closer, she was jolted and lost her grip on Tifa.

Too late to snag a hold again, she fell with a heavy splash into the murky water, drowning out the sounds of the others. Briefly she realised she was a bad swimmer, especially in a dress and heavy boots that she'd worn for gardening and thrashed, struggling to the surface.

Her hands clawed at reeds and her head broke the thick surface, dirt clinging to her hair and skin and she coughed up some brown water. Her fingers entangled heavily with the bank weeds tugged and pulled, but the water was too thick for her to move in any form of fast swimming stroke.

The others had dismounted and both Tifa and Cloud were starting to wade towards her when they suddenly stopped.

Tifa's eyes widened at something behind her and with fear in her soul, she turned to see what had made her stop in her tracks. Behind her was raised an impossibly large snake with hood and fangs dripping venom, blood red eyes fixed on her slender form that cradled the bank desperately.

The swamp snake.

Aerith briefly wished Tifa had never made such a silly prediction and clawed to get upright, stumbling and going down on her back instead with a splash. Cloud called out her name and she tried to say something as it reared back. There was a scream - was it her or was it Tifa? Then there was a blinding flash of light and something searing hot striking the air.

She lowered her hands from where she'd covered her face in helpless desperation without her staff, reeds and glop-like dirt dangling from her delicate digits and stared at the snake which was suspended, mid strike. A kanji floated before the chest, like a seal some magic had placed there. But she spent no time considering this strange turn of events, turning and grabbing at the hands of Cloud and Tifa so they both hauled her from the water to dry land, where she coughed and held her chest - she must have swallowed some of the swamp because it burned her lungs to breathe.

Then with a cracking noise, the seal broke and the snake lashed forward, ramming its head onto the person-less bank. With mad red eyes turning to glare balefully at them, it sank back into the depths.

She shivered, "...so close."

"Oh my... **_god_**..." Barrett said suddenly and they all looked towards him, she finally finding her feet with weak knees. He was looking down the embankment to a small grove set off to one side of the mountain. On a tree that had been splintered to a point was impaled a snake three times the size of the brute which had attacked Aerith. Blood spattered the ground and despoiled the entire land. Helplessly they all stared at this savage display of raw power.

"Who...?" she weakly asked.

"Sephiroth did this," Tifa murmured quietly, "He's the only one with enough power to manage a feat like that."

"How cruel," Red remarked.

Aerith tried adding something, but turned to the side and coughed hard instead. The air was cooling quickly outside with the rapid indications of a brewing storm. Cloud noticed this too and took her by the hand, leading her to the mountain cave doorway and pushing her inside first, "Guys," he called out, "let's go through here. There's shelter, we'd be safe."

They followed suit, each letting their bird of burden go into the wild and taking their weapons back from Cloud, all excepting Tifa who had kept her gauntlets on as they didn't impede her motions too much. Aerith leaned on her staff, clutching her sodden jacket closer to her shivering, frail frame and took a good look at the inside of the cave. It was pale blue, glowing from the inside and echoing with some kind of song from the Planet. She didn't recognise it.

"It's pretty," she whispered and leaned on Cloud suddenly, "I think I swallowed some water. When we get out the other side, I'll have to rest a bit before I can use my magic on myself."

"Alright, let's hurry through here then."

"Aerith," Tifa said cheerfully, taking up the arm of the flower girl, "Don't worry if you lag behind-"

"I won't let you be on your own," Cloud poked in atop Tifa.

The two exchanged glances that she pretended not to see. She didn't have time right now for their confusing conversations. Perhaps some of the snake venom had leaked into that swamp?

She thought this over, stumbling blindly behind the others into the mountain, trying to work out the contagion effects of breathing in swamp water by accident. If it was a neurotoxin designed to paralyse, such a way of ingesting it rather than a direct bite to the blood stream, she should be unconscious soon. It was likely designed to simply paralyse the prey. Aerith guessed that from the weakening state of her body, she'd be knocked out soon enough.

They passed through a cave roped with gold veins, silvery quartz in the next and then an open area where tree roots had begun to infiltrate down through the cracked roof with success. She paused for breath when Cloud suddenly stopped and held his hand out. There was a clapping sound, was someone applauding?

"Just a second," came a familiar voice.

She raised reddened eyes to the figure on the far pillar, across the chasm of the cave, looking down. Tanned skin, formal suit and dark glasses coupled with the shine on the bald head - it was Rude of the Turks. She peered to the other figure, a blonde woman in a neat suit, not much taller than herself with an open, pleasant and eager face.

"Who are you," Tifa said, holding onto Aerith tightly and also sliding so she was hiding her from view.

"Do you know who I am?" he retorted, looking towards Cloud instead.

"From the Turks, right?"

"Well, if you know that then this won't take long. It's difficult to explain what the Turks do," he murmured, trailing off.

_They're the dogs of ShinRa, the ones who clean up all the little messes that ShinRa makes. Hardened assassins, thieves and professional kidnappers. But also stuck in a world they cannot escape from, in that schism... they're honest people trying to live the best they can..._

"Kidnapping, right?"

"To put it negatively," Rude made a vexed noise, "you... could say this. But that's not all there is to it... anymore... ..."

"Sir!" The younger Turk called out, taking a step on her precarious pillar, then squeaking as it crumbled quickly, stepped right back to the root and held onto it, "It's all right Rude, I know you don't like speeches so don't force it."

_New girl. Elena. Taking up the slack for Reno... poor Reno..._

"Then Elena, explain."

All eyes moved to the blonde who swallowed with a nervous laugh, "I'm the newest member of the Turks, Elena. Thanks to what you did to Reno, we're short of people. Though because of that I got promoted to the Turks," she flushed and rubbed a hand into her smooth pale locks, looking confused, "In... in any case, our job is to find out where Sephiroth is headed. And to try and stop you every step of the way! Wait.. a minute," she frowned, "other way around, you're the ones getting in our way..."

"Elena, you talk too much."

Aerith froze and shrank back down with a formless cry, tears prickling her eyes. The calm, confident voice of her childhood, melodious, soothing and torn with love and duty; it clawed at her heart and dug deep rents there, poisoning slowly until she was bare inches from fainting against the broad back of Barrett. Red rubbed against her leg comfortingly and she drew her fingers into his fur for stability and comfort.

"Sorry, Tseng. I mean sir... Sir Tseng...sir... that is... yes..."

"No need to tell them about our orders. Now go, don't forget to file your report."

"Oh right, very well, Rude and I will go after Sephiroth who is headed for Junon Harbour!"

There was a pause and then an aggravated sigh, "...Elena. You _don't_ seem to understand."

"...Oh...I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" the woman sounded frantic.

"...Go. Don't let Sephiroth get away."

Together the Turks Rude and Elena chorused, "Yes sir!"

As they were moving out, she could tell Tseng was now looking towards the party and she clung harder for support. Rude called out before he vanished, "Reno said he wanted to see you after the injuries you gave him healed. He wants to show his affection for you all with a new weapon."

There was silence, and then Tseng spoke softly. "Well then, where is Aerith? She's not with you?"

_Tseng! Please don't... I'm free now, I'm happy. I'm falling, fading away..._

"She isn't with us, she's with the others."

"Oh then, give her my regards."

They stood silent as a group until the sound of his footsteps had faded away into the nothingness outside, of soft grass and dirt and the flood of sunshine she could see peeking through legs even at this distance from the exit. Tifa snorted, "Not likely."

"They're... still looking for me," she said helplessly, knees giving way under her as Cloud's hands caught her under the arms. "Still..."

"Aerith?"

Tifa placed a hand onto her forehead, the metal plate on the inside to protect the soft flesh of the palm was cool, as cool as ice and she revelled in it. "She's got a fever."

"I think... there was something wrong in the swamp water I breathed in. I need to..."

She didn't get as far as telling them what she needed. She passed out with the sound of Tseng's voice chasing her far into the black, dreamless night.

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The tents glowed with the camp light.

She stood with her arms folded, looking at the strange shapes on the horizon, Fort Condor and further to the north, the city-port of Junon, the secondary seat of ShinRa's power. Above their small settlement for the evening rose the magnificent sky, black and indigo, seeped with shadows and backlit by countless, beautiful stars that whirled in their nightly dance. The campfire was small but merry, firelight playing from the tents, grass and rocks that shaded them and even her eyes struck by the light glowed reddish brown. Inside the tent closest to the warmth slept the fragile body of Aerith, weakened by the poisonous swamp water and not unlikely, weakened further by the emotional shock of the Turks showing up outside of Midgar.

Still hunting her.

Her eyes prickled with tears; pity and also deep compassion filled her heart that she should endure this horror still when she had finally managed to get out of Midgar, fulfilling one end of the promise her biological mother had given the daughter. Now all Aerith needed was her Promised Land. Travelling with them, Tifa felt certain that she would feel it eventually, would know when to stop.

But a voice inside her questioned if only Aerith would be allowed there. If so, Tifa would have to move on. She'd be alone.

Was she okay with that? With losing something suddenly so precious to her that protecting it went far beyond the reasonable bounds of friendship? With losing something that was an extension, she felt, of something forgotten deep inside of her.

"I'm **not** okay with that," she half wailed, tearing her eyes away from the fire at footsteps.

"Tifa, I'll take the watch now."

It was Cloud, tall and dark in the night with his face shadowed with tiredness and his eyes worried. She knew he was worried for Aerith. She was too. But those few sparks of feelings she was once sure she'd felt for him had faded back again into simple friendship, fondness, companionship, a link to her past. But when he looked at the flower girl, she saw it in his eyes, in the way he tried to smile, tried to soften and melt the ice for her.

Cloud Strife was in love.

She looked away from him, "I know. I just don't think I'll sleep so well tonight."

"We'll try some antidote tomorrow. It might help."

"Anything to help. Cloud-"

"Tifa..."

She looked at him, and then shrugged a shoulder, indicating he should speak. He bent his head and Tifa held her breath, pensive, knowing that a moment like this with Cloud opening up would be rare indeed and breathing would dispel the illusion that he was human after all.

"Tifa, ever since we left Midgar, you've been acting so strangely. Is it something I've done? You... look at me like you half expect me to steal Aerith and run away... like... like Sephiroth might do."

"Cloud," she sighed, "It's just... ...I don't know. Everything's changed."

"What do you mean?"

"Before she came along, it was black and white, I knew what was what. Now she's here, I don't know what to think. She put colours where there never were any, you know? Now she's sick and the Turks are after her and they won't stop until they get her. She's got special powers, she is special... and what are we? Corks dragged on the tide of her destiny." She laughed a little, "Maybe it's a destiny to change the world. We left Midgar saying that we wanted to save the Planet, because -we- would do it. But the truth is, we don't know how... and there she is, a mysterious girl... with hidden secrets and a strange power."

"Does it frighten you?"

"No. Not at all. I just want to be there. For all her power, she's still a girl, like me... she's still liable to fall and skin her knees, moreso because she's so frail. So she needs m- ...needs us."

"Tifa..."

"Cloud, I'm tired. I'm going to sleep. Wake me if you need something or she gets worse, alright?"

She looked across; blue eyes she'd once loved, blue eyes she'd once been frightened of, they glowed with the memory of a thousand faces and places that were his and weren't his all at once. She yearned to tell him. Instead she just smiled and went to lie down protectively at the front of Aerith's tent and cupped her cheek on a hand, that old childhood habit. Sleep came softly but slowly, flickering like fitful firelight...

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_"...Higher!"_

_And she pushed her higher._

(( A/N: Sorry about the gap, not been well/started a new job. Thanks for the all the fluffy reviews - I'm concentrating hard on making this one of those love stories that last a lifetime ;) ))


	10. Chapter 10

**10: Beyond the Sea**

_"My love, you know you are my best friend  
__You know that I'd do anything for you,  
__And, my love let nothing come between us:  
__My love for you is strong and true."_

_- Sarah McLachlan_

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The drool on her hand was a dead giveaway that she'd been sleeping.

Coming upright with a jerk, she tried to feign interest in whatever Barrett and Red were arguing about on the map. She suspected that neither had much of a clue about dimensions and so when it came to crossing terrain that was unfamiliar to either, they'd end up lost. She'd sort of held out hope that Red, being of animal nature and sounder mind and body than Barrett had been since the collapse of the plate, would be more able to locate their whereabouts, if only from the sun, wind and scent of the air.

_No such luck, Tifa. No, you're stuck with Captain Clueless and his canine friend, Sir Haven't the Foggiest_.

She grumped to herself really as she wiped the drool off with the heel of her hand on the hem of her skirt, wincing only a little at the smear she left on the shiny material. Hopefully, if anyone noticed, they'd assume it was a spatter of rain to come.

_Yes, let it rain_, she pleaded. In _fact, to be original, rain fish? Go on, surprise me_.

The weather, as usual, was obtuse in ignoring her.

Her dark eyes moved across the glade to where Aerith was brushing out her hair and plaiting it back into the careful hairstyle with agile, knowing fingers. Cloud didn't sit too far away, going over their inventory of items they seemed to keep picking up along the way. She wondered briefly, but not too lingeringly, on why the monsters around these parts seemed intent on carrying items with them. Items that they had a cat in hells chance of using. For instance, the boomerang. A throwing weapon of dubious return value, it was a favourite of the harrier type bird enemies. Potions. Antidotes. Even bracelets.

Was there a fashion and grocery outlet for monsters that she was as of yet, unaware of?

Her eyes travelled as if drawn by lodestone to the figure of Aerith as she hummed softly, sitting just perfectly in the dead centre of a beam of light, haloing her perfect self as it fell from the gaps in the canopy, dropping down around her in a glow that could not be equalled.

She smiled and tilted her head, enjoying this covert study of such a rare creature.

A few more moments and she looked away, the lassitude of melancholia stealing over her and setting her full lips into a pink pout as the arguing reached fever pitch between the cat and the terrorist leader. She'd long since learned to block both howls and screeches out of her hearing, instead looking dimly down at the dusty glade floor and the branches, leaves and other natural litter scattered about it.

_Cloud loves her._

_But she's mine. Mine. I.._

_...I what? I didn't see her first. I didn't promise to be there when she needs me, first. I didn't do anything first._

_Second best. Story of my life._

_Always the bridesmaid..._

She risked a peek back at Aerith then blinked, realising the Ancient was smiling back at her, with some colour back into those pale cheeks after finally expelling the illness after an intensive few days of treatment. Apparently the venom of the swamp snake had been rather too much for her Cetra system to handle, as it was directly evolved for human prey. So whereas a human would have simply fallen over and slept for a bit, she'd been knocked right off her feet.

"How long have they been on about that map for now," the flower girl sighed, mimicking Tifa's pose.

The martial artist blinked then smiled softly, realising she had her full attention finally for the first time in days since their rush across the mountain range. She tilted her head, earrings tinkling faintly: she'd specifically chosen to wear them because they made a sweet, bell like noise, a tone she figured the equally sweet Aerith would love. "Too long. Sooner or later, they'll come to us and ask us to orienteer for them."

"Why not Cloud?"

Tifa grit her teeth then laughed, was it a touch too strained? "Perhaps it's because we've seen his skills in orienteering before?"

"Oh yes, at Kalm!" Aerith laughed too and folded her hands together, "You'd think Red would be good at this though."

"Its surprising that he isn't. Either way, we're stuck in this wood for a while. Supposedly there's a river close by, we'll have water for drinking and bathing. Barrett's starting to smell a touch ripe on the downwind."

"I'll remember to stand upwind of him then."

"Wise choice." Tifa lowered her eyes and then found her voice from somewhere, "I've seen you writing in a book sometimes. What are you putting in there?"

Aerith's eyes sparkled, hiding those secrets she managed so well and her smile was open, flourishing with good humour, "It's a **s-e-c-r-e-t**, Teef."

"I thought we were best friends!"

"We are. It's just a collection of things I find, like plants and stuff, you know?"

"Oh," she felt somewhat disappointed but stretched, trying to make it appear like every little hurt didn't automatically try to register itself on her face, "I mean, makes sense, you wanting to find cures and flower types. I didn't mean to pry, sorry."

"It's alright. I was actually wondering when you'd get up the courage to ask me about it. I've seen you looking."

Tifa gave a guilty start and dropped open her mouth to try and protest that it simply wasn't so as the whisk sound of something buzzed through the air and right across her cheek with a slice of pain. She clapped her hand to her cheek, blood trickling through her fingers.

"Tifa!" Aerith exclaimed, getting up quickly despite all their warnings to try and take it easy. She was at her side within moments, cool fingers stroking at the cheek and prying her own, stronger fingers away. She let the Ancient do so, instead peering across at where the object had embedded itself, "Tifa's been hurt," the flower girl called to the others.

Cloud put down his inventory list and frowned, standing up and moving over so he could see the object. A quick wrench at it tugged free a strange projectile weapon, much like a triangle with razor sharp edges - tree sap and bark clung to it, as well as the vague blush of Tifa's blood. He turned so Barrett and Red could see it, the cat shaking his head.

"That's a Wutai weapon," he said. Even now he sounded so ridiculously calm!

"Wutai, what's someone from Wutai doing throwing stuff about here!" She winced as Aerith's cooling breeze filled up the cut along her cheek, drawing back together the cells so she could heal quickly. "It could have really hurt me."

"Well, those are specialised weapons -" the cat tried to explain but directly over the sound of his voice came a shrill war cry and from the bushes burst a young girl, perhaps sixteen if she was a day, waving a large four-pointed weapon about with unerring accuracy. However, those slender, long legs of the thin girl had trouble keeping up with the speed and halfway into her lunge she tripped and head butted Barrett in the chest.

Barrett, being much like the mountain of muscle he is, simply stood there and stared as the girl reeled back, holding her head carefully and trying her hardest to blink stars from her eyes. "What th' hell!" he exclaimed.

The girl was dressed in a most unique fashion; a turtle neck tank top in olive green and a forehead protector that was of the same colour marked with what had to be her tribe and clan sigils. The left arm wore interesting lapped armour which covered even to her fingertips, the right arm, set with a bangle that glowed with a materia, was sleeved in a fishnet material and a heavy work glove. A bare midriff and skimpy shorts just held together by a belt that looked as though it had seen better decades, coupled with leg armour on one leg she might add, and socks that kept trying to fall down from her knees to her sneaker-shod feet. The girl looked a mess. It was as if she'd grabbed the first clothes on the shelf and run out. Her hair was coal dark and her eyes, a touch unfocused from the head butt, were a violet-grey, but dark in tone.

"Ouch, ouch, ouch," she muttered, twirling round and presenting her back as she tried to grasp her head, no doubt attempting to stop the dizzy spells. "That hurt..."

"Well, what dya expect if ya go charging at me head first, kid?" Barrett looked completely confused. Tifa sympathised, the burning pain of where the shuriken had sliced faded now. Her eyes were locked on the back of the girl, but the giggles of Aerith drew her attention with some surprise.

Sure enough, the flower girl was covering her mouth as she always did when laughing, a gesture that Tifa found unbearably adorable. Her green eyes sparkled with humour, looking across at Tifa then crinkling harder at the corners of the eyes - she'd have beautiful laughter lines when she was older, signs of a life filled with love.

"Poor kid," Cloud muttered, rubbing at his spiky haired head, "You need to sit down?"

"Don't baby me!" shouted the girl, whirling back to them and trying to haul a sock up at the same time, stretching the skinny leg out. "I'm sixteen! I mean... prepare to defend yourselves!"

"Defend ourselves?" Tifa blinked.

"Yeah, I'm here for your goods lady so cough it up."

"You're a thief?"

The girl's eyes narrowed and she gestured with the oversized throwing weapon at her; Tifa blinked once more - it looked horribly sharp. "You bet I am. You're the suckers who wandered onto my patch where I'm scouting for stuff, so just play it easy and hand it over - ow!"

Barrett removed his hand from where he'd clunked the skinny, loud girl atop her head. She wailed and touched her scalp. "Don't be a foo'. Jus' run along and play."

"Play?" That voice knew how to run up those octaves...

"Yeah, play."

It happened so quickly that she wasn't entirely sure she'd seen it. The girl moved her hand and tossed something with a cheeky grin at Barrett. There was a flash of smoke and then the burly man was running off, beating at his green jacket which had leapt into fiery life, burning away most merrily with a crackling noise. His terrified yelps only made the skinny girl laugh even harder, beating on her knee as she watched him run about like a headless chocobo.

"Play with that, you big jackass!" she howled with laughter.

Cloud tightened his hold on the sword, thrust into the ground and started towards the girl. She turned and frowned, lifting the shuriken and narrowing her eyes. "That wasn't nice."

"I ain't a kid, like I told him. His own fault."

"Fine then... let's fight if you want to so badly."

Tifa and Aerith stood to the sideline, both watching. She knew Aerith hung back because she was waiting to cure their wounds, so wasting her mental energy on casting battle spells would be entirely pointless. Tifa hung back because, quite frankly, she had no desire to kick a little kid like that. Admittedly, for the cut on her cheek, throwing her around the forest grove about seventy times would have been extremely satisfying, but a small part of her exclaimed that she was above such nonsense. So whilst the men and the girl hit each other repeatedly, she got together the inventory and waited for it to end.

It ended finally with Cloud hitting the girl in the face with the hilt of his buster sword. It gave such a loud crack that Tifa panicked that he may have broken her nose, or worse, her skull! But as the girl collapsed onto her back, nose dribbling blood and breathing hard, she began to laugh faintly.

_They're all crazy_.

She shook her head and then blinked as Aerith muttered hurriedly to Cloud, "I think she should come with us."

"You what?" Tifa hissed, staring at the Ancient who just smiled glibly.

"I think it'd do her good to be around responsible adults like," She paused and glanced at Barrett who was rolling in the dirt then looked back, "...uh, you and me."

Cloud just lifted his brows, but wandered to the girl with both of them in tow, expressions curious. She looked like she'd come out the wrong end of a stampede of bandersnatches, her face bruised and her left arm held gently as if it were broken oddly. Her eyes glared at them despite the helpless chuckles of pain. "I...can't believe I lost..." she gasped, then sat upright with effort. Shockingly, she somehow made it to her feet waveringly. "You spiky headed jerk! Alright - one more time - let's go just one more time!"

"...not interested," Cloud muttered, his usual taciturn self. Tifa and Aerith were both hard pressed to bite hard onto their grins.

The girl's jaw dropped in disbelief, then with a quick recovery she smirked and smoothed back her hair, "Ah... thinking of running away? Stay! Stay and fight I said!" She laughed and held up her fist, the glove was slightly torn, "C'mon, what's the matter? You're pretty scared of me, huh?"

His voice dripped sarcasm, "_Petrified_."

Tifa stared. It seemed to completely bypass the girl as she grinned and puffed her chest out, trying to stand taller than her skinny, small height. "Hmm, just as I thought. Well, what -do- you expect with my skills? Heh heh...Good luck to you guys too. If you feel up to it, we can go another round, later." She hefted her shuriken and turned around, a flip of her hair done arrogantly, "...I'm really going to leave." She waited then added with stress, "Really!"

Tifa covered her mouth as Cloud gave the shrug that indicated he didn't care - Aerith showed a little of her usually well hidden iron will and prodded him hard in the chest. He sighed and muttered, "Wait a second..."

The girl turned and beamed brightly, "Aha, what's the matter? You still have something for me... hmmm?"

Cloud's mouth fell open and that was it for Tifa, she turned away and giggled, holding her side as a stitch started from trying to hold it in. Aerith, she could tell, was having better luck, but her eyes almost glowed and her mouth was too much of a tight line.

The girl plunged on, "Hmm, what should I," she tapped her lips and grinned, "But if you want me that bad, how can I refuse? All right, I'll go with you!"

"...let's hurry on," Cloud murmured, looking harried and started away past Aerith and Tifa to the bags. Aerith finally giggled into a hand as the energetic girl bounded to their shoulders and outstretched a hand to Cloud.

"Hey, HEY! Don't you even want to know my name! I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie!... HEY!" She hurried after Cloud, who gave the girls a mixed look of contrition and annoyance.

Tifa laughed so hard she was sure her face was beet red, turning to Aerith and putting her hand on the slender shoulder, "Hahaha, that was cruel!"

"But fun! Oh poor Cloud... but his expression! Heehee!"

The both exploded into laughter as the cries of Yuffie filled the camp; "C'mon Mr Leader, Cloud, lemme help!"

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"What a..." she looked around and blushed, "...interesting town."

She had wanted to say, _'what a dump'_.

Junon Harbour was a successful city-port, the second largest city in the world. It was the one city with the strongest offensive capabilities and home to the ShinRa naval fleet. Above, much like Midgar, people lived the life of Riley. Below where the original town had been was now only a few scattered homes sunk into a mire of dirt and smog that choked the lungs. Some houses were in utter disrepair, they had been left after they fell apart, the cost of rebuilding too high to consider for those living here.

The people were sparse, wandering about with hopeless expressions and wistful eyes on the faces of the elder ones who recalled times when the world had not been reduced to one of shadow, of grim poverty and even grimmer times for the younger generation.

"Say what you mean, Aerith," muttered Yuffie, who covered her mouth against the smog, "it's a cesspit."

"Yuffie," she reprimanded.

Tifa, who was still touching the cheek a week after the incident with the young ninja throwing a shuriken at them, lowered her dark brows. "She's right though, this place, it's being choked by ShinRa and there's nothing we can do right now."

"ShinRa," she sighed and gripped her hands about the staff tighter.

"You stay here with Yuffie and Red, I think us three will check this place out. Your face is probably on every bounty poster in the region." Tifa looked at her and she looked down instead. "It's not like I don't want you to go with us, but we'd be better off scouting the area, you know?"

"I know."

"We shouldn't be too long. You two, take care of her, alright?"

"You know we will, Tifa," Red said, sidling close so she could feel his fur on her exposed shins. "Hurry back."

Tifa hesitated and then summoned a smile; Aerith could see the effort it took to put the sun shining where she only wanted to frown and be sullen. The seperation pained her a little, Tifa, much like Cloud, had become the new building blocks of her life. So to not worry her, she smiled back and waved a little. The fighter took this as the indication she would be alright, and hurried after Cloud and Barrett.

_Us Three. She still thinks of them as 'Avalanche' and us others as outsiders. Aren't we fighting for the same cause? I'll just run my fingers on the glass walls of your world then, Tifa, and wait for the opening to let me inside._

Together they entered the lower town and sat in one of the smaller shops towards the back. It was a tea room, so she ordered hot tea for both herself and Yuffie and a drink of lemon water for Red who claimed that it would slake his thirst far quicker than a heated drink would. They sat in a booth, Aerith with her back to the window and slightly sunk down so her pink clothes weren't so noticeable.

The tea came, served in small cups and she pushed it about aimlessly on the saucer as Yuffie watched in silence.

_It's not hot chocolate and cream. I'm not sharing it with Tifa. Everything's starting to take a turn for the worse. Why do I feel so out of place? It's not the swamp water; I fixed that a week or more ago. What is it? I feel like running about, screaming, shouting, and crying. Like I should be in a blind panic._

_Even the voice of the Planet has a worried edge here. What is here?_

"Aerith," began the ninja and she jerked her green eyes up from the cup to peer intently at the dishevelled girl. She was only sixteen and yet so skilled she had been allowed to leave her Clan village in order to further her training in the real world.

"Yes, Yuffie?"

"Why do the others want you to keep hidden?"

She looked down and then to the side where Red was laid out quite contentedly, his head tilted. But his golden eye watched her, weighing her answers. Like Red, the Cetra had been a special race. She wondered if they were creatures the Cetra, or the Ancients, had brought with them on their travels, long lived and wise, wiser beyond the humans that lived today. As an Ancient herself, she knew people expected words and actions from her that she didn't feel she was adequate enough to perform...

"I was property of ShinRa, a long time ago," she said quietly. "I was their precious Cetra, an Ancient."

"You're an Ancient?" Yuffie squeaked and then coughed, ducking her head quickly as people glanced about. "I mean, wow. I thought they were like, extinct or something?"

"I'm the last one."

"..." Yuffie stared at her, "You're all alone?"

"In a sense. But I have Tifa and Cloud, Barrett, Red... and now you." Aerith forced her smile onto her face, "My new family, so I don't have to be alone."

"Family? Me?" The ninja looked troubled and sat back, pouting, "I guess so. Like a little sister."

"I always wanted a sister. Or a brother. I always wondered what it would be like if I had them. This is my first time seeing the world you know," she smiled; it was easier now, "I've seen beautiful things, sunsets, stars, flowers and smiles. But... this world is filled with such terrible things too."

_The killed swamp snake. The tangled lies of Cloud and Tifa. The pain and misery caused by ShinRa outside of Midgar. The Turks..._

"...but that's all part of being alive. I suppose. You can't have pleasure, without some pain. You don't get something for nothing."

"Old alchemists," Red broke in softly, "called this an exchange."

"I guess the ShinRa will always be after you then," Yuffie sighed.

"Probably."

_Until my last breath rasps._

There was a noise and she turned, peering over her shoulder at Cloud who squeezed past the soldiers in the front of the small tea room and towards them, shaking his head. It had only been an hour or so, but he looked much like he'd fallen in the sea. He left salty footprints on the floorboards. He stopped by their table and looked from one person to the next then sighed, "We got somewhere to sleep."

"You ... alright?" Aerith asked softly as Yuffie gave a whoop and scurried past him towards the door and freedom.

"Just had to save a little girl."

"I heard some commotion earlier, save her from what?"

"Yeah, there was a monster."

"A monster? Cloud... are you hurt? Is Tifa okay?"

He smiled, "You really care a lot for her, don't you?"

_A lot. More than a lot. A whole lifetime in a few short weeks_.

"Yeah, I do," she smiled back, "she's my best friend. Yuffie was just asking about why you guys wanted me to hang back. I think she understands now." She pushed the cup away and reached for her gil pouch, but before she could pay, Cloud had already dropped the coins needed next to the cups. "I can pay."

"I know, but you were too slow?"

"This is subtle revenge for putting you in a dress, isn't it!" she scolded, despite smiling as she stood up. Cloud flushed and grinned.

Red coughed from the floor, where he'd seemingly be forgotten, tongue lolling out of his mouth, "Dress, Cloud?"

The spiky haired blonde went even redder and fiercely frowned, "It's a long story."

"He has great legs for a guy," she twinkled at Red, laughing and holding her stomach.

"Aerith!"

"You do! Oh, hahaha! Don't look so angry! I'll go and check on that little girl... oh Cloud, really, hahaha!"

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"Cloud, wake up."

She shook him again until his eyes snapped open. Automatically she took a step back and then sighed. He got to his feet so slowly that she had time to examine the room where he'd slept, a homey, country sort of room. Wooden panelling, pictures on the walls of woodlands scenes and brown bedspreads, even brown rugs on the brown floorboards. Her clothes felt fresh, the kind old lady had washed them after spending so long half-assed washing them herself.

"Tifa," he said slowly, "When Sephiroth and I went to Nibelheim, where were you?"

She caught her breath, it dragged so hard. Her eyes wanted to fill with tears.

_You weren't there. I spent my time wondering why everyone I knew had abandoned me_.

"...w-we saw each other, right?"

He looked up with piercingly blue eyes, "No, the other times. In the town... I don't remember... spending time with you."

"It... No... It was five years ago, I don't remember." She shook her head and turned away, moving to the door, "But you'd better come quickly, there's something strange happening outside."

She hurried out, dashing a hand across her eyes and trying to calm her irregular heartbeat. If she'd only been able to say those words, tell him about their web of lies they kept sustaining... but instead she'd choked, once again and it had kicked her hard in the heart. She went down for the count...

Music blared, a horrific, brassy fanfare of madness from high above.

"Tifa?" Aerith asked, looking at her quizzically from where she stood and grasping her hand. She welcomed the gentle fingers holding onto her own hand, she welcomed their firm touch, she welcomed their knowing guidance.

"It's alright," her eyes roved across Yuffie who stood examining her shuriken, to Barrett and Red who were talking about possible ideas as to what the music was, and then Cloud who was talking to the young girl they'd saved yesterday after a freak accident near the power lines in the beach water. "I was... I just..."

"Just?"

"I tried to tell Cloud the truth, that his story wasn't right. I choked."

"Ah," the ancient smiled her understanding. "Better luck next time?"

Cloud came across to them and held out the red materia to Aerith shyly. Tifa peered at it, and then felt a stab of deep envy.

_I haven't gotten her a gift yet. I'll find one.. one better than that crummy red materia. You wait and see._

_...what the HELL am I thinking?_

The materia exchanged hands and the Ancient studied it carefully, examining each facet before announcing softly that the summon inside the materia was none other than an ice elemental bound to the orb. She tucked it away, seemingly the stock handler for all their materia recently.

"Yo," Barrett called, "What's that music? Sure sounds lively."

The girl turned and beamed, "I heard that they're rehearsing the welcoming parade for the new President."

"Rufus?" The dark skinned man grinned evilly, "I gotta pay my respects."

"You think," Aerith suddenly said, looking up and around at their scenery - a dilapidated town and the vast sea beyond it. "You think that Rufus is thinking on crossing the ocean?"

"Wait, woah," Tifa said and pressed her free hand to her temple, the light down here was so bad she was forced to squint, "Does that mean Sephiroth has already crossed?"

"Cloud," barked Red, "Didn't you finish Rufus off?"

"That's it, we gotta get up there somehow. Maybe we could climb that tower," Barrett gestured beyond them to the tower which supported the Gelnika flight path and part of Junon Cannon which faced seaward. Pricilla, the girl, paled and shook her head.

"No, no! That's too dangerous. There's a high voltage current running underneath the tower, so don't wander near it! But... you might be able to... follow me!" She started running off and Tifa watched her go with a tilted head.

"High voltage... tower... I guess this means Cloud is the man for the job." She smirked.

"Better leave it to cloud!"

"Good luck Cloud."

"H-hey...wait a second," the blond tried to argue but no one was listening. Tifa grinned, feeling silly inside for acting on such groundless jealousy and walked off with Aerith, tugging down her miniskirt unconsciously.

He stared about himself and then with an 'ugh' of disappointment, ran off after the girl. Barrett followed curiously, leaving them four to stand by themselves and look across at each other. "I don't know about you," piped up Yuffie, "But ain't no way in all the Hells I'm going up on some high voltage tower. I have a better idea..."

"Oh?" Tifa muttered, "Does it involve hitting people with shuriken?"

"No," the look she received in turn was withering, "Just watch."

So they did. Yuffie took her time going up to the guard and within moments of speaking to the bewildered young man, she had the gate dropping down and waved to them all with the smuggest look on her youthful face. Tifa gaped and then jogged towards her, Aerith and Red in tow. "How did you do that?" she hissed as they got inside.

Yuffie smirked and held up a pouch inscribed with Cloud's name, "I bribed the guard of course. Money makes the ShinRa world go around."

Aerith laughed as did Red, but she just sighed and took the pouch - it felt light. Tifa mumbled sourly, "Cloud is going to **kill** us."

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Hours later, she was feeling very off balance indeed.

Back in the hold, Yuffie was lurching back and forth in her over sized sailor uniform, gulping and turning between green and odd shades of greyish-yellow. She was seasick. Aerith had never been on the sea before, but the rolling motion had hardly any effect on her at all as she perched on a crate and scribbled in her journal. A few more items were to be added to the few notes she'd made on Junon and the people, and the doodles she created next to her notes cheered her up, purposefully picking the brightest shades she could from her pack of pencils.

She watched Cloud go past and smiled as he stopped and took a second look at her - she'd pinned all of her heavy long hair under the sailor cap artfully, leaving just her bangs to hang before her face. A bit of engine oil smudged on her cheeks disguised her feminine features as best she could, but she assumed her green eyes made her very noticeable. He grinned at her and looked her up and down. "**Nice**."

"Thank you. I figured it was time I tried cross dressing for once," Aerith teased gently and was rewarded with a flush.

"Did you see the airship at Junon?"

"Yeah, I'd heard it was big but didn't expect it to be that big."

"That was really something." She sighed, "Hey... do you think I could get on it?"

His eyes lit up, "Keep hoping."

"Wow? I'm really looking forward to it, then," she laughed.

"I'd best check on the others." he said, drawing away reluctantly, "I'll tell Tifa you're down here."

"Okay. See you soon."

"...**_URP_**!" gasped Yuffie.

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He wiggled about like a worm on a hook, doing the tango. Or the salsa. Or both. A strange mixture of both.

She fought very hard for a serious expression, watching Barrett hightail it round the corner of the ship and then sighed, putting her head into her hand, feeling the sticky softness of the odd leather gloves she had to wear whilst in her soldier uniform. The thing itched. She didn't want to question when it had last been washed.

If it had ever been washed...

Someone crawled up the smaller ladder and threw her a salute. Recognising the wisps of blond hair, she saluted back.

"Yes sir," she said, pretending Cloud had said something to her, then slowly lowered her hand and fiddled with the gun she kept with her as part of her disguise. "Everything is quiet sir."

Cloud shook his head and smiled the crooked vague smile.

Tifa bit her lip and then continued softly, "But you know what? I really hate 'em all. ShinRa, war... it takes away everything, the people and things that you love. I wish they'd all disappear, right Cloud?"

"Yeah," he said softly.

She looked down, and then shut her eyes. "You're right." Then opening them, threw him another energetic salute, "I'll continue my watch sir!"

Hours passed. The day trickled on. The uniform seemed to itch even worse the more she sweated and soon she was wilting from the heat over the railing when the alarm fired itself off. Sirens blaring, people began to mill in confusion, screams filling the air. She gripped the gun and then looked over the crowd anxiously as the faces of her companions gathered, recognisable by certain traits - such as Red's gait, Barrett's skin and Aerith's untameable bangs of golden brown hanging free of her hat. Cloud was rushing towards them so she gripped the railing and vaulted over, hat tripping free so her own dark hair flooded about her in a fury.

"Everyone all right?" she asked, brushing down her clothes as she stripped the uniform off herself, tossing it to the side with relish. Damned clothes, she'd be grateful if she never set sight on them again!

"Huh?" Aerith said, looking up from the diary she closed and tucked into her small backpack of clothing - bizarrely she was folding the sailor outfit away with it.

"Everyone's here right?" Tifa frowned, "They said there's a suspicious character on the loose. I thought one of us might..."

"You don't think that the suspicious character could be... Sephiroth?" Barrett exclaimed. More extreme than Tifa, he'd torn his clothes in the effort of removing them and their ShinRa brand stench from his body.

"Really?" she asked without thinking.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Let's find out, then," Cloud said. They were all finally free of those uniforms and ready for action - he had his sword in hand. He nodded to the stairwell and as a group, they advanced together. Down the stairs, they were forced to go two by two because of the space, Tifa squashed up against Barrett unluckily. At the bottom, a body lay at unnatural angles.

It was like watching the ShinRa building happen all over again and she flinched backward, even as Aerith broke free and ran forward to check the man for a pulse, her fingers soft on his skin. Then she sat back and shook her head, wiping the bloody fingertips on a piece of the clean uniform the corpse wore, "No, he's dead."

The door to the cargo bay was left blown open. Tifa came to stand close to Aerith as Cloud stepped inside. The main generator of the boat still functioned but a body was hung suspended close to it, as if peering into the mako that moved the parts of the engine, hunting for an answer of sorts. Aerith gasped and stepped forward, only Tifa's careful hand restraining her. The figure twitched.

"Is it Sephiroth?" the blond soldier asked.

The figure twitched, twitched again and then revolved on the spot. He lurched to Cloud but with lightning reflexes, before even Barrett had chance to fire a round off, a shuriken zoomed past and knocked the man back. He fell down and as if eaten from the inside out by acid, faded, disintegrated before their very eyes. Tifa gulped down bile.

"No, not Sephiroth."

"After a long sleep...the time... ...the time has come!" A voice rang out.

Aerith cried out as if struck and covered her ears. Tifa felt much the same but for different reasons. Snakes crawling on her skin, she froze and stared at the place where the body had vanished, hearing the sobs of Aerith only distantly.

_Sephiroth_.

"Cloud!" she cried out.

Above them appeared the figure of the man she had reviled in her dreams: tall and strong, slender but dangerous, silver haired, handsome and with the green eyes of the devil, green eyes of the angel Aerith who was half buckled over in some agony. Dressed in black, he peered over them without any emotion on his beautiful, distant face. She wanted to vomit and rage, rage hard and kill him over and over until her hands were stained red forever.

"Sephiroth, you're alive," Cloud muttered in disbelief.

"...who are you?" The general frowned.

"You don't remember me? I'm Cloud."

"Cloud..."

The blond made a sharp gesture with his hand, anger creeping into his voice and pose, "Sephiroth, what are you doing? What are you thinking?"

"The time... is **now**..." Sephiroth spread his arms and then laughed, a deep toned laugh filled with hollowness. Then in a flash of light, he was gone but something else sprung up, tentacles waving and a dark presence pressing on the psyche of her mind. She put her hands to her chest as the others sprang into action.

Aerith beside her, weeping still, brought her hand to the summons and together they fought, side by side, at Cloud's side, taking up the slack where another drew back for breath. She took blows for the fragile Ancient, hearing her body groan with each hit, feeling the blood trickle freely.

Aerith was a spell casting machine, born to use the materia at such a high rate of skill that it made her jealous to watch, and proud in a fashion. Fire spell. Lightning spell. Esuna spell. Each magic crackled the air but left her unfocused for a moment or so afterwards.

"Use the summon spell!" Shrieked Yuffie as she skidded past and tripped over Red into a pile of snarling bodies.

The wounded monster thrashed tentacles about as Aerith fumbled for the Shiva magic. Cloud, seeing an opening, ploughed into one side of it deep with his sword, twisting so the blood gushed out hot across his skin in a foul green colour. Tifa saw the other tentacle descend and put her self in the way almost without thought.

It crashed into her back and she went flying, the crates she flew the distance into smashing open and leaving shards of wood about the place. Groggily she stayed there as Aerith finally communed to get Shiva to spring forth. Ice filled the air and the elemental summon cast her hand about, shattering the skin of the monster and lowering the temperature in the room so dramatically that Tifa gasped and cursed the frost stinging her wounds.

Moving to sit up as they finished the pathetic remains off, she felt her ribs and looked from face to face - it had been a difficult fight. They still lacked the real essentials of teamwork.

"That was Jenova," she said, primarily to Cloud.

"So it was Sephiroth."

"Time for what though." She winced and drew herself from the rubble as Yuffie huffed in confusion.

"I don't get it," she scowled, "This too confusing. Explain it properly Cloud!"

"I'll give it a try," The mercenary shifted his weight and pulled out potions, handing them around. Tifa ignored him and went to Aerith who was weeping in a small huddle. Why was she still crying? "Sephiroth went off searching for the Promised Land, so he could become the ruler of the Planet. That was five years ago. Then he came back and killed the Old President ShinRa. And just now, we all saw Sephiroth. He was carrying Jenova with him... this much I do know. He seeks to go to the Promised Land with his mother..."

A voice blared over the tannoy: "We'll be docking at Costa del Sol in five minutes. Please prepare for docking procedures."

"Woah," muttered Barrett, "We'd best hide."

"Yeah," Tifa said. She tried coaxing the Ancient into standing up, but she wouldn't. To make matters simpler, she just held her in her arms instead and stood up. Having the slender body held so close, she could feel the frantic heartbeat and gasped breaths of tears but she was finally glad to leave the dark, bloody room behind them in favour of the sunny beaches of Costa del Sol.

The remains of Jenova ate through the deck slowly, behind them.

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_He chased her through the branches and she skittered from him. The black King, chasing his white Queen. Check... Check... Check..._

_"Such a pretty little angel. Such a caged little bird. What sad songs do you know? Why don't you sing them for me, little angel, little bird?"_

_The forest was endless and she ran, gasping, sobbing for breath against his sweet promises and reasonable tones. She was torn and bleeding, she was scratched and dying with every burning breath in her lungs. "No!"_

_"But I know your heart of hearts, the horrible fears, and the leftover wishes. Don't you want me to make them real for you? Just be the princess for me, sing your songs for me and we'll rebuild the world together, we'll make it how we wish it to be and travel until forever, beyond those stars, beyond the horizon. Ask and I would give it, I would change the world for you, my angel!"_

_"NO!"_

_She stumbled and screamed as hands held her up. Eyes searched upward in terror, expecting green, flame filled horror to be leering down at her, waiting to eat her soul with his soulless heart._

_But tender wine-dark eyes smiled back instead..._

Tifa smoothed the golden brown hair.

Aerith had slept so badly all night, since passing out after the incident on the boat. Her skin was slightly sheeted in sweat and the white night dress hung close to her fragile, almost waif like body. Tifa tried hard to not focus on exactly where the night dress clung to so readily, instead watching the beautiful face trapped in a horrific nightmare that she seemed unable to break out of, the golden hair flung carelessly about in a halo. It was boiling hot in the Costa, even at night, so she was also wearing a standard issue hotel nightdress in pale grey with a black trim.

Without thinking, only wanting the terrible nightmares to end for the girl she watched over so protectively, Tifa lay down on Aerith's bed and curled her arm about the slender middle, her other arm scooping under the neck so she could nestle her face closer to Aerith's cheek.

Even with the heat, Tifa thought she would burn up from the inside, pressing herself slightly closer to the back of Aerith in order to try and stop the sudden jerk she'd given in her sleep. She felt strange, but... content.

When had she last been content?

In the dark of the room with only the moonlight from outside to silhouette them, she felt her eyes grow heavy with sleep, the slumber of the ancient calmer as the girl relaxed in Tifa's embrace. Her face moved closer to Aerith's cheek so her lips rested on the exposed shoulder of the flower girl, fringe covering half of her own face.

"Aerith..." she mumbled softly, and slept with only the most blissful of dreams.


	11. Chapter 11

**11: Pieces of a Dream**

_Dreams are answers to questions we haven't yet figured out how to ask_ –

The X-Files

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_And with the arms to hold me, your smile to keep me, all that was ill was chased away._

_But I don't remember much of it, if any of it._

_There was darkness, there was sunshine and sometime into the dream, there was you, putting it all back into perspective for me. Like a guardian standing watch over the charge she didn't know she had been given._

_You don't have to hold my hand, but you clasp it willingly. You don't have to stand over me when my legs do not remember how to stay upright and locked, but you shelter me anyway. You don't have to watch over me when I sleep and dream of things that are and aren't, but your arms around me, stilling the nightmares, tell me that you'd do it without a second thought._

_So it was, when we found Hojo on the beach I saw your face crumple._

_It was like you hadn't expected them to be here and bathing, as if no ill had occurred, as if we hadn't fought so hard just to get where we are and they, like indolent teenagers, just lazed about. The world could fall down around them and they'd sip sangria and pretend they'd pull through it all._

_I, in all honesty, didn't know how I felt about it._

_You looked horrified as he and I conversed. You can't shield me forever, you can't put a breaker between me and the realities of my tangled past. I don't know what to tell you, I don't know how I could ever fully tell you everything that was going on without you turning around and leaving me. So because I don't speak of it, I'll look to the future instead of the past, the future where we are together still and friends alike gather under skies that know rainbows and stars and the sweetness of summer winds._

_We left him there, pallid and cold._

_But I needed some space to think, so just let me have it. Let me alone for a while, so I can figure out how to put a foot in front of the other, to sort through all the confusing sounds!_

_And that's the problem, isn't it?_

_Only I hear the Planet and how it speaks softly to me, the dreams that come... they are half real, like I should know them, should interpret them but at the same time, so unreal that I don't think that they mean anything else at all. You seem surprised that I don't want to spend time at the beach... but looking over the sand..._

_...looking there... I am reminded of -that- dream._

_There is water, in that dream, always water._

_Please don't misunderstand; I don't shun your company... I just... feel so confused right now…who I am…where I'm going. What I'm doing. It never was such a tangled mess of confusion. Before I left Midgar, I knew in my soul this was the right choice, I knew exactly that you were my best friend. I knew. But out here, I am not sure any longer and that indecision of my life, it burns me so._

_So even if you try to hold on, I hope in some small part of me, that you never let go, Tifa._

_Don't let me go, never near the water..._

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The weather was cooler beyond the warm shores of the Costa, the mountains higher and the trail somewhat uncertain. An old man they had passed sometime back had commented that it was heading towards autumn and the chill in the air was to be expected when it lost the sun from the overhead sky. He'd also offered friendly advice and given poor Tifa a blanket in which to wrap herself, shivering because of her poor choice in clothes.

So it was that every evening they camped out together, building the tents close to one another and the fire as close as any dared to the waterproof fabric, despite fears that they may go up in flames. They cooked hearty food, with plenty of roots and other vegetables that Aerith, Red and Yuffie could find along with animals dragged down in the hunt by the latter two.

It was, as they ate each meal and shivered helplessly until their lips seemed to turn somewhat blue, that Tifa noticed how much Aerith was really starting to eat. Naturally stick slender, the Ancient was now putting away enough food at every meal time for two people. She didn't think anyone was as concerned as she about this sudden uplift in the girls eating habits, but when pressured about it, Aerith could only say with a weak shrug, that she assumed it was simply the effects of the Planet on her system, the magic that run through her seemed to be increasing everyday.

Tifa was frightened, if she didn't care to admit it. Frightened because Cloud had started to become less distant and the time would grow close when she would have to tell him about all of his past and her past and about Zack and the village... frightened because she knew Cloud loved Aerith... and that even if she didn't admit it either or so openly, she cared just as deeply for the Ancient, if not more sometimes... she was frightened because Aerith showed no signs of noticing the affection from either herself or Cloud and that she was once again running headlong against the brick wall she had seemingly faced her entire life when it came to such matters... and frightened, most of all, because Aerith was getting distant. Not in the way of Cloud, but the magic of the world...

She had never been into magic or materia, she had never been adept at casting magic or interacting with the knowledge of Ancient powers, as Sephiroth had once put it. It was alien to her nature - she was so firmly rooted in the current and her own past that the clear sight needed to use magic and the mental fortitude often escaped her. Magic, a force she didn't understand. It was through the wonders of magic and science that Nibelheim had been destroyed, why Cloud remembered nothing and why... now Aerith was being pulled along with a strange and almighty power that Tifa didn't understand.

Each night as they slept, she made sure she slept facing the Ancient. Sometimes the smooth face would pinch with worry and anxiety, and then just as quickly, even out into peaceful expressions. It was when the soft whimpers of nightmares woke her up, that despite the gritty feeling in her eyes, she succumbed to the protective warmth in her heart and she would move the distance needed to smooth down the golden hair with soft strokes and whisper words of encouragement and calm.

It was on the sixth day of fighting across the mountains that they came upon the industrial sprawl of another reactor, tucked away into the folds of the mountains where the purple skyline drew darkly down with only faint speckles of the stars. Like many places where a Reactor stood, Tifa had noticed that the sky was always dark, scowling at the abomination on nature. Beside her, Aerith stared off towards the east instead with an unfocused look in her green, green eyes and her lips slightly parted. Confirming their route, she heard Barrett say something about Corel and frowned.

Corel.

She knew that Barrett had once been a miner for irons and metals, even coal in the mining town of Corel. It had been prosperous until about four or so years ago, when a mako reactor had failed, blowing itself up in a rage of fire and blazing guns from the ShinRa squads sent to quiet the populace from their frightened rioting. He never mentioned it directly, but she knew Marlene wasn't his daughter, but the child of someone close to him whom he'd found in the wreckage of destruction and in a kind act, double edged to try and shake off his own sin of sorts, he brought her up as best he could. Oh, he might not be Marlene's real father but watching them together, she knew that they were as close as other biological families could be. She supposed it felt this way for Aerith and Elmyra too.

As they trudged in that silence towards the town of North Corel, dodging the broken tracks and hunting for hidden treasures that may have been unearthed by the mining left half done, that she pondered her own relationships with her family.

Her mother had died when she was so young, not much older than eight that she was unsure if the memories she had of her were as correct as she thought them to be, or warped by the passing of time and the pressing matters of the present. She knew she had her mothers dark eyes, it was suggested that because of her dark colouring, that her mother had been born from Wutaian stock. But glancing over at Yuffie who jumped from rock to broken spar to scouting their position like a hyperactive squirrel, she could see nothing of the warm brown in the cool dark grey of the girl's eyes.

Her father had become distant with her as time passed. He doted on her of course, bought her the best money could buy - nothing was too good for his popular little princess. He encouraged her hard working, practical talents and spirit, praised her for staying so rooted firmly in what was necessary, that she glowed with his pride. She wondered, if given enough time, if her father would have stopped seeing the ghost of the woman he loved in the eyes of his child. But that time was past. He lay under the ground, sleeping the final sleep with his body, his life scattered and only the fragments of her memories giving him ghost like life any longer.

She said nothing of these dark and dismal thoughts as together they trekked onwards and into the mining village, Yuffie twenty steps and running ahead of them until she managed to trip over her sock which crept down every ten minutes seemingly, headlong into a tent with a crash echoing from inside it and the surprised shouts of miners. Red shook his head and followed with his usual waddling gait to extricate the ninja girl, who was spouting apologies as best she could.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to face plant in your food, I am so sorry!"

There were globs of some food stuck in her hair and on her cheeks, burning red with shame as the four legged beast fought hard to contain himself. Several miners followed her out of the makeshit home, looking amused and angry all at once, a curious micture of ambiguousness if ever there was. Tifa smiled and glanced across at Aerith, hoping to share her sweet mirth again, but the Ancient was instead watching Barrett, not a hint of a smile on those pink lips.

"Perhaps you should watch where you're... ...going..." The foreman trailed off, eyes skipping across them all until they rested with guilty, burning pleasure on the hateful form of Barrett - hate swam in his frosty eyes and his jaw tightened, Tifa could see the muscles ripple and dance with a thousand emotions and she clenched her fists, ready for a fight if one should erupt. "You!"

"..." Barrett Wallace, the hard man, the tough guy, the extreme terrorist... said nothing and looked down, eyes cast away.

"How dare you show your faces in this town after what happened... how... how DARE YOU!" The foreman hissed and within steps he was up close and had thrown a heavy punch across the unresisting jaw of the terrorist, knocking him back two steps and leaving livid marks of his knuckles even on the dark skin. "Well... looky here, never thought I'd see your face again. Those people over there, they with you? I feel sorry for 'em, hanging round with a walking death sentence like Barrett!"

The other miners behind him had caught on finally and the looks of displeasure began to mirror themselves on each face, coupled with sadness, anger and often bitterness. Tifa shook her head. She knew Barrett had been here at the time of the accident but why this kind of reception? He wasn't ShinRa after all!

"You got a lot of balls coming back here," another hollered, "Look at this place; it's your fault that North Corel turned into a garbage heap!"

"Well, why doncha say something, or did you forget what you done here already?"

"I'm sorry," the big man choked into the silence of disapproval.

"Fu... you ain't even worth the effort," the second speaker said.

The miners, one by one, turned away and left them standing there by the half upset tent and broken well. Finally the Foreman turned and left with a harsh mutter of, "Don't any of you waste time talking to that techno freak..."

"Barrett," she breathed as Aerith moved the distance between the two, clasping Barrett by his head and murmuring. This time the magic was stronger and far more visible, a shifting weave of the wind with an echo of a harmony, striking and soothing into the muscles and healing it. Tifa marvelled at the ease, to her untrained eye, the magic looked like weaving seven carpets in the dark, blindfold, deaf and without sensation of touch or memory of pattern or ability.

Amazing.

"Its nuthin'," he grunted. "You heard them, it's my fault this town was destroyed!"

So saying, he walked off ahead of them with his back held stiff and iron straight, head high but his expression grim. Tifa went to Aerith's side as she followed him with her emerald gaze, hand still half outstretched to where she'd healed the bruising and welt left from the extreme force applied to the cheek of Barrett. Her hands found the cold one of Aerith's, bringing it down from the air where it was suspended and into the warmth of her double-handed grasp.

"Aerith," she said softly, to break the spell. "Come on."

"I'm sorry, Teef," she said, a small fragile smile on those pink lips, for just her, but the eyes were so tired and sad - they had been so sad since the incident on the boat, "I'm just a little unsure right now. This place, it's feeding from itself."

Her lovely hand slipped away as Cloud called for the group to pull together - Red had been level headed and directly stocked their inventory and distributed potions and the like between them all evenly as Yuffie hung a bit too close to the materia stall for Tifa's comfort. Aerith walked after Barrett like she was a dream, ephemeral and fading fast, leaving Tifa to walk close by Cloud's shoulder.

"Cloud," she said quietly.

The blond looked up at her, brow crinkling at her tone of voice. "Tifa, what's wrong?"

"Barrett... he said he destroyed this town. I wonder if coming back here was really such a good thing for him. If we weren't following Sephiroth..."

"Tifa, he'll pull through. Don't worry too much over it."

"But I do worry. I worry so much."

The Soldier shook his head, smile almost there, hauntingly touching his face briefly before flittering away. "Maybe you should worry a bit more about Aerith, she hasn't been well since we got to this continent. I thought it was getting better after she started eating instead of picking at her food, but..."

"I know."

They all came to the platform of what looked to be a sky train, a small carriage suspended on two heavy wires that floated into the sky and clouds, propellers at the front and back to help push it along those slender suspension cables. It was blue in colour, brilliant against the shattered surroundings North Corel wallowed in. In front of the carriage, Yuffie was busy tossing a suspiciously new materia from hand to hand whilst Red silently watched Aerith, who in turn, silently watched Barrett. Tifa mused faintly on Red and Aerith's relationship.

Both strange creatures in some fashion, Aerith because she was an Ancient and Red a remnant of a glory filled time of the world, where magic was the rising power and not science, not technology. Red followed Aerith about like it was almost a second nature, a secondary instinct that he was hardly aware of. Tifa wondered if that meant that at some point, the race of fiery tailed creatures had been close companions of the Ancients, aiding them in their wisdom and shaping the creative energy, the living force of the world. Red was sensitive to nature, much in the same was as the delicate flower girl wilted and thrived depending on the situation at hand. It would suggest close kinship in a fashion between their spirits if nothing else.

Cloud paused by the booth and enquired about how much a ticket would cost for them to get to the Gold Saucer and she blinked, wondering if she'd heard right.

The Gold Saucer, her father had promised her that for her eighteenth birthday they would go to the pleasure park and ride on all the rides and play on all the games, they'd watch the battles in the Arena and bet on the races. That day had never come, a door closed on the possibilities of her life by ShinRa. How strange that chasing someone from ShinRa that sought only to destroy the world would open that door again, in such an unusual fashion.

Apparently the ride up was free, so she went ahead of him and towards the small knot of people who had fallen silent. It was then she realised Barrett had been watching her, and she was his link in the chain to all these other people. Barrett owed Aerith the life and safety of Marlene, but he also owed her in a small sense, his ability to understand and cope with his past. She smiled as bravely as she could manage, putting the best face on it as she could. It had always been like this, smiling when everything felt frozen inside of her, molten ice with the drama and grief of her sorrows.

"Barrett, what happened?" Aerith asked again, her beautiful voice echoing.

"Sorry," the burly man apologised, again and again to everyone.

She shook her head to indicate he didn't have to apologise to her at all, she knew he was sorry in her heart even if some things in life were completely unavoidable. Beside her, Cloud had caught up and was standing next to Aerith again. Tifa grit her teeth and pretended she hadn't noticed, looking away from the pair as the mercenary asked, "What happened?"

"My hometown used to be around here."

"What do you mean, used to?" Red inquired softly.

"It ain't here no more. Heard it got buried... in... just four years..."

Aerith bit her lip then blurted, "But... but how could those people say such awful things?"

"...an... it's my fault," He turned apologetically to the Ancient, hands outstretched, "It's all my fault. Corel was burned down by ShinRa troops."

There was palpable silence, Barrett was clearly envisaging something but it took all of Tifa's willpower not to rush to his side and demand answers, not to hurry to hold Aerith upright when her face went white and her lips drained of precious little colour, not to hit something, someone...

"ShinRa troops? What for?" Cloud demanded.

Barrett jerked his eyes up and then glanced away, "There was an explosion at a reactor. ShinRa blamed the incident on the people. Said it was done by a rebel faction."

"That terrible," Tifa snapped finally, hands clenching. ShinRa and their depravity, was there no end?

"Well, I guess that's true, but... more than ShinRa, I couldn't forgive myself. Never should've gone along with the building of another reactor."

"No," she said, moving to him and putting her hands out in an expressive gesture, a welcoming one, comforting. He wasn't alone! "No... Don't blame yourself; we were... all fooled by the promises of ShinRa back then."

"Tifa, but... that's why I get so pissed off! Not only did they take advantage of me but they took my wife Myrna too!"

She stared at him, trying hard to keep her tears inside where they could freeze and shatter. No one spoke; there wasn't even the sensation of anyone breathing softly into the terrible gap of a moment where all thoughts were suspended.

"Hey, get on, it's going to go," the man at the booth called helpfully. The spell was broken and she stepped back, tilting her head so the fringe could cover her eyes.

"Dyne was my best friend, we was close ever since we were kids..." Barrett murmured and fled inside the carriage with a stamping of his enormous feet, clanking on the metal grates and the padded seat groaning as he sat.

Yuffie scowled, "I'm not going to sympathise with him." Everyone looked at her in surprise and she flushed hotly, "He never should have trusted ShinRa Inc!" But she did follow him inside, Red at her heels, silent and thoughtful as ever, watching quietly and keeping those wise opinions to himself.

"I never knew," she said softly, Aerith coming to her side and Cloud wandering inside, "He never said a thing."

"Tifa," the Ancient murmured sympathetically.

"...we'd better get on."

Far below, once the engines started and they were all inside, the world dropped away. Aerith and Cloud sat together, laughing over some joke and Yuffie was glued to Red's side as he told her some story or the other. Barrett stayed away, a black cloud hung over his mood so no one dared to approach him or offer any words. She stayed alone too. Sometimes she would cast a green eyed look towards Cloud and Aerith, glaring at the back of Cloud's head, but then she'd look away and towards the vanishing prism of her world and wondered at the clouds falling back with it, at just how high they had yet to go.

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"So **PLAY**! ...messing 'round... shi't! Don't forget we're after Sephiroth!"

So saying, the burly giant fled away from them and into the tubes, a tangled mess of chutes to deliver a person to any place within the Gold Saucer almost immediately upon entering, with ease and delight. At least it cut down on the cheesy lift music she supposed. But she sighed and shook her head as Tifa looked pained.

"I think he's mad..." she sighed again.

"Oh. Don't worry; I think he's doing a little better now."

They stood around and for a moment, she was certain they were going to split into groups and look around the Gold Saucer, hunting out information about the black cape clad general. So it was she curled her hair about a finger and started towards Tifa, trying on her shyest smile as colour crept into her cheeks: she'd really been spending far too much time with Cloud and knew that in a place filled with laughter and fun, she wanted to spend that time with no one else other than the wine-eyed fighter.

But as she approached, the blond haired fighter already had the arm of Tifa and they were laughing, moving towards a chute already and her heart was suddenly made from lead, dropping to the pit of her stomach. The two vanished after Tifa glanced back once, desperately, completely unseen by the flower girl who was busy rubbing her stomach and studying her own feet in embarrassment and rejection.

"...I guess, I'll look around with..." She looked up and blinked. Red and Yuffie were also gone. "...myself."

Tears threatened. A strange place and everyone just upped and abandoned her. Well, typical!

Hurt feelings quickly turned into stubborn resolve and she brightened up forcibly, smile pushed onto her lips. She needed a bit of time to herself anyway and after all, what better place to spend some time thinking than around a golden play park where everyone else was occupied with themselves? So she tucked her hands behind her back and ignoring how sad she felt and that cold feeling in her heart, Aerith began towards the chute for the speed square.

Behind her the black shadow followed silently.

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There was an awful silence.

So much sorrow had happened at this place that as Tifa listened to Barrett talk she was glad to see the others were unharmed. Aerith looked a little tousled but no worse for wear, and the fake cheerful smiles they exchanged were brittle, she felt. Was Aerith annoyed that she had walked off with Cloud? Great, that was all she needed, her best friend angry at her for something that existed only in her mind. Inwardly the fighter groaned and covered her face with a hand, looking away as Barrett spoke on.

It had been one of the most trying days of her life. Cloud had snatched her arm up before she could say a word and together they'd gone to explore the Gold Saucer. A backward look had given Tifa the impression that Aerith was far less than impressed with her and Cloud wandering off, but she'd had not a single opportunity to speak with the flower girl since they'd all suddenly burst into the house where Barrett had been angsting. Upon stealing her away from Aerith, they'd bumped into a burly man who looked like his brains were his muscles.

It had come as some surprise to her to learn that this was Dio, the owner of the Pleasure Park and consummate business man. He'd vaguely remembered her as the daughter of Shale Lockhart, the businessman of Nibelheim. He'd heaped condolences on her then spoken to Cloud in a one sided exchange about Sephiroth and some strange thing called the black materia. Tifa had paid special notice to this, just in case Aerith happened to know something about it, or if it stirred any recollection in the vast catalogue of knowledge that was Red's memory.

Then they'd hurried on towards the Wonder square, one stop away from where Dio had told them his collection of trinkets was, and there they'd met the strangest contraption in all existence, a stuffed mog with a tiny cat riding atop it's head, holding a microphone through which it tended to sometimes squeak in a somewhat off putting accent that put her in mind of the frozen northern wastes. It had proceeded to offer two psychic readings that were completely silly, but the third had chilled her to the very marrow in her bones, even when Cloud had dismissed it out of hand.

"What you pursue will be yours, but you will lose something dear."

Professing his own confusion, the mog introduced himself as Cait Sith and joined them to find the truth of his own reading in their journeys into the unknown. But the discarded strip of paper, she'd kept it, feeling the horrors of some unformed malice folded into it. It rested still inside her glove, slipped there for safekeeping. Nothing would be lost, as long as she remembered it was there. Then they'd come into a scene of horror in the battle arena, blood and bullet spray everywhere. Dio had come in too and caught them staring in unabashed terror at this macabre display. Thinking them accomplices of a man known only as the man with a gun arm, they'd been thrown into the desert prison that was once Corel proper. But, the only man with a gun arm they knew was Barrett.

Sure, he'd been angry, but to kill people and destroy?

That wasn't like him at all.

So they'd found him after avoiding some of the really creepy lowlifes, inside a ramshackle house, bearing his own sorrows and figuring out the truth behind this twisted story. The others had joined them, each and every single one making their introductions to the stuffed mog who took it all in his stride most calmly; and then they'd settled to listen to Barrett explain it.

Years back, Corel had been a successful coal mining town; it was the livelihood of the people. But Mako was the new energy source; mako was the future and the way forward. To keep up, the town agreed to have a reactor built. Everyone but a man called Dyne, the only man to oppose it. It was on Barrett's advice that they believed Scarlett and her lies and gone on to build the reactor - but one day... one day there was a malfunction in the reactor to do with the ShinRa, so to cover it up, the destroyed the town.

Barrett and his best friend were out of the town at the time, at the reactor, so they weren't killed but the troops soon caught up. They tried to escape but Dyne slipped. In a blind panic, Barrett reached down to try and save him and both ended up getting irrevocably ruined arms - Barrett's grip slipped with the blood dripping down his arm and then... he assumed Dyne was gone and everything taken from him. But in the village, Dyne's daughter Marlene had lived. So in an act of penance that would be his drive in life, the ex miner swore to look after the young girl and make sure she wanted for nothing, so Dyne and everyone could rest in peace. He got a gun grafted to his ruined arm...

...but Dyne had lived and had the operation too, on the other arm.

So the man responsible for all this had been Dyne, trapped in the sinkhole that was the desert prison since gods only know when, seething with revenge and turning sourer by the day. Tifa honestly sympathised with him and his situation.

"Barrett," Aerith said softly once the large man was done, choking on his own words, "This isn't the end."

"Weren't you going to save the Planet?" She added a small smile for the Ancient to show her support for those words. But the green eyes were filled with confusion as they stared back.

"Shit Tifa, you oughta know by now."

She didn't take her eyes from Aerith for a moment, then looked down sadly, "...that's alright, Barrett. I'm not so different, from you."

"Alright," said Cloud, "Tifa and Barrett and myself will go look for Dyne. You others find out who to speak to, cause we have to get out of here."

There was a general mutter of assent and they all filed out. Tifa felt Aerith brush past her shoulder and could have sworn that fingers ghosting touched her elbow, but couldn't had said for certain if it was her own imagination or just the press of the jacket against her. She kept watching the floor, a lump in her throat until everyone but Cloud and Barrett had left.

"Tifa?" Barrett said again.

"I'm sorry, I was thinking."

"You don't have to come if you don't want to."

"I want to. Like I said, I'm not so different from you."

Barrett's voice was pained, "I don' want you to suffer."

"A bit late for that, isn't it?"

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She wanted to cry.

Barrett was a bloody mess, Dyne no better as he backed off, bleeding heavily and breathing laboured, pained. His face, once handsome, was scarred and marked with hate, debauched in it. His home was a graveyard to machines, cards and a broken home where a single bed stood in a lone vigil over a cliff, over three graves marked 'Myrna', 'Eleanor' and 'Marlene'. Three graves, crossed and swinging with a pendant that glittered in the light of the sunset, dying down. The dust was livid with the scuff marks of battle and the two faced off across a gorge that was marked 'past'.

The eyes of each man, they had seen too much to go back, too much pain to know wrong from right in this moment of lucid sanity, they only knew the other. Then Dyne buckled to his knees and sobbed, a cracked sob in his chest with tears running down those scarred cheeks.

Each grave, marked. Myrna had been Barrett's beloved wife; Eleanor, the kind wife of what had been a proud but kind man... and Marlene. The daughter Dyne had always thought dead, the hole in his heart that had stopped beating four or so years ago. She was torn with her own sorrow and her compassion. She wanted to weep.

Crying would not do.

Barrett took several steps towards Dyne, arms lifted but the man struggled a few feet back from him; "Back!" he snapped and the burly terrorist obliged. "...it wasn't... just my arm back then. I... lost... something irreplaceable. I don't know where I went wrong."

"Dyne, I don't know either man. Is this... the only way we can resolve this?"

Why weren't they screaming? Why wasn't the world on fire? She gripped herself about the middle, chilled despite the lack of wind.

"I told you... I want to destroy everything... Everything... you, this crazy world... even me..." Dyne stood, hand to his chest with blood seeping from between his fingers down his front, spattering on the dirt floor.

"An' what about Marlene, what's gonna happen to her!"

"Think about it Barrett," suddenly there was a fractured smile, the first real smile Tifa had seen on his face, "How old was Marlene back then? Even if I did go to her now, she wouldn't even know me, and what's more... Barrett... these hands are a little too stained to carry Marlene any more..."

"..."

Dyne reached behind himself suddenly and took the swinging pendant from the cross then through the air it sailed until it was clasped in the free and only hand of Barrett. He paused to look at it as Dyne continued to speak softly and slowly. "Give that to Marlene... it was Eleanor's... it's my wife's memento."

"...all right."

The slender man paused and looked full into the sunset and she could have sworn he was really smiling finally. She swallowed.

"Wow... Marlene's already... 4... Barrett?" His voice was so pained, blood was likely bubbling into his lungs by now, "...don't... ever make... Marlene... cry…"

"Dyne? Dyne!" Barrett's head snapped up.

...but it was too late.

Tifa gave a strangled cry and without any resistance or hand to prevent him, Dyne seemed to fall slowly from the lip of the cliff where the grave markers were, forward into the darkness and with only the softest of smiles on the most scarred of faces. She heard no crack or crunch, only deep silence as Barrett charged headlong to the edge of the cliff and looked about wildly, screaming his name until he was unconscious and they had to carry him back to the village, between herself and Cloud. In the village, others were waiting and she kept her stony mask in place, staring out over the desert as their illustrious leader went to go and sign him self up for the races.

When he finally left, she felt someone stand at her shoulder and look through the window over the desert. Tifa didn't look, her heart told her it was Aerith, quiet as a shadow but always there, unasked for but always comfortingly there, unfailingly so.

The Ancient opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the fighter was talking ahead of her so the words Aerith would have said, faded into listening.

"He just committed suicide," she said in a strangled tone, "Because he couldn't bear his past anymore. He said... he said..." Tifa lifted her hands and curled them, strong hands, filled with vicious temper and her training, hours of dedicated work, "...his hands were too stained. He said his life was over, that... revenge filled him so much, that he could think of nothing else."

"Tifa?"

"I couldn't do a thing... Not a damned thing. But I sympathised with him... all that hate? All that anger? Aerith... I... I could have ended up like him... I could have drowned in that... I could... I..."

And she was finally crying. The arms about her were swift and warm and into their embrace she wept softly, broken hearted.

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_I wouldn't like to go back to that place._

_I've never seen you cry before, like that. Tears in your eyes, the scar you take pains to conceal - I've seen them. But I've not seen you like that. It was so vulnerable and so alone. But no one else reaches out to you like I do, why? Why?_

_...But it's alright, because I'll be here for you, when you need someone to be. I swear it. I swear it all my life._

_So we left you and Barrett sleeping softly and fitfully in the back. I was squashed in next to you, but I didn't mind. You were warm and when you moved in your sleep, I took care that you didn't bash your head on the sharp edges of the car seat. And softly you murmured my name._

_Softly, always softly._

_A week later, we came to a town I'd heard about before only in stories._

_To Gongaga._

_...Zack's hometown._


	12. Chapter 12

**12: Her Forsaken Past**

_Each has his past shut in him like the leaves of a book known to him by heart and his friends can only read the title._

_-Virginia Woolf_

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They left the buggy parked outside, where the shrub and decay had become too much for the wheels of the terrain vehicle to manage and in a small cluster, they walked into the village; from outside looks it was only small, so only herself, Cloud, Tifa and Yuffie came inside. The sunshine was warm and the ground here seemed warmer than the sunshine could account for, so she could only assume that some sort of Mako derived operation had happened here.

Yuffie danced with each step, each one as if a spring were built into the sole of her foot so she moved with a dancers grace from one spot to the next, laughing. Cloud seemed to take all this in his stride better than he had weeks before, just watching her in taciturn silence and only once or twice giving her a glance that suggested it was her fault that the hyperactive teenager was with them.

Tifa, by turn, seemed far more lively and outgoing since that incident at the Gold Saucer and the ruined village of Corel at its lowest depths, something life changing had occurred there for her and she, like Yuffie, was attempting to live each moment to its fullest.

It made Aerith want to smile as she watched Tifa alternate between adult restraint and occasional running through the grass with a whoop and a laugh that infected her own sense of humour to the point of sparkling laughter. Instead, she just watched with her glowing green eyes, feeling uplifted by their motions, walking at Cloud's side, the only one of the group capable of sticking to a sedate pace.

He smiled and offered her a daisy whilst the two girls were out of sight and she laughed softly, taking it. "I um, saw it a while ago down the road," he said helpfully.

"It's a bit crushed." She replied without thinking, wincing in at her self as his expression fell only a little. "But that's alright; it means it's gone through a lot."

"Flowers aren't all that resilient," Cloud murmured.

"You think? I don't think so. I think flowers, they struggle the hardest to live, in the coldest and inhospitable of climates, there is always life just waiting, underneath the surface. In the hottest desert, flowers bloom and grip to life dearly, waiting patiently for the next drop of water. Flowers endure harsh weather changes, natural predators, the stomping of boots, paws and talons. Flowers though, they continue to look up at the sun."

She put her hand to her forehead and looked up, noting that Cloud did the same and she smiled, adding, "Because the sun is always there for them. It reminds them to go on trying. I like flowers because out of everything I have ever seen; they will continually try and try, even if failure happens. Maybe you should try to be more like a flower, Cloud."

"What flower would I be?"

"That's up to you, of course." She lowered her gaze as she tucked the flower into her jacket. "Everyone has different opinions. You know, there's something I've been meaning to tell you, only I don't think I have the words all right, currently."

"You can try now," he was blushing, eyes bright as they watched and she blushed too, looking away with a faint crease appearing between her brows. "I'll listen to anything you say, Aerith."

He said her name like a priest would whisper the name of his Goddess, softly, reverently. Speak it louder and would she vanish with the morning dew?

"I don't know. It's awkward to say and I'm scared of how you'd react."

"You never have to be scared of me, Aerith," he laughed. He definitely liked to say her name, she decided.

Just as suddenly, someone was pulling her into the dense scrub around the pathway where it forked, strong hands of the Ninja Yuffie, who had left her shuriken to the side on the dirt floor. She crouched down and blinked, straightening her skirts whilst she eyed askance to the other side of the pathway, where Tifa was sitting on Cloud (more like her knee in his neck) and putting her finger to her lips for silence, her other hand wrapped firmly about his protesting mouth.

Aerith nodded and tilted her head, listening.

_**Turks. Danger…**_

She started. Never before had the Planet spoken so clearly to her, or so audibly. Usually it was a murmuring, just out of the key she was used to singing in. This time it felt like a determined whisper in her ear.

"Hey Rude, who do you like? Come on, what are you getting so embarrassed about? Who do you like?"

"……..Tifa."

"Hmm, that's a tough one. But poor Elena… she… you…"

"No. She likes Tseng."

"I never knew that! But Tseng likes that Ancient."

It was another blow – not that she didn't know already, in all honesty, but to hear it said so loudly. She felt like fading back into the camouflage of the scrub and pretending she wasn't listening in on this embarrassing conversation. She wished Reno knew when to keep his mouth shut! But then, he never had, talking like words tripped out of his mouth without real purpose or direction. She supposed it was part of his charm. She supposed.

Across the way, Tifa's face mirrored hers for mortification and indignation. She was pressing a little harder down on Cloud who'd finally had enough and was pushing the distracted brunette off and crawling out into the open, dusting down his clothes. "Tifa," he scowled then he glanced towards the two men as they continued to chatter on about the girls, "…what are they on about?"

"Oh it's so silly, they always talk about who they like or don't like. But Tseng's different."

Aerith peeked to see the comical look of horror run across Cloud's face. The speaker was Elena, the fairly ditzy new Turk they'd met in the Mountain cavern. She'd been so sick with the venom she was half sure she'd imagined hearing they'd added to their ranks, but sure enough, the blonde was stood toe to toe with Cloud, horror trickling over her own face.

She giggled into a hand.

"Ah, oh no! They're here," Elena squeaked and shoved Cloud with surprising strength, running past him with her arms waving, "They're really here!"

"Hmm," Reno looked up and then up higher at the sky with a squint, red hair still a total mess. "It's time then. Rude," he called to his buddy, "Don't go easy on them even if they're girls."

"Don't worry," muttered the taller, heavier Turk, light glinting from his bald head. "I'll do my job."

Aerith only just got from the way as Yuffie dashed from the cover with her shuriken held ready, this time saving grace and not falling flat on her face in her youthful exuberance. Tifa was adjusting her gloves and grinned at her, "You stay back, we'll take this trash out."

She stood up and dusted her own dress down, glancing sidelong at Reno who took on a wounded expression as Elena bounded off. His mouth formed the words, "Kitten? You okay?" but didn't give them voice. Ashamed of herself for being unable to prevent these skirmishes, she looked away and nodded a little.

Do not be so sad, Honoured Daughter, he understands. They all understand.

But the voice of the Planet could not drown out the sounds of eager battle.

Neither the cries of the girls when struck, nor the clang of weapon on weapon, the roar of magic in her head as it flung heat around her, scorching hot but never once touching her. She instead focused on the grass and the flowers, the daisy in her pocket and the hard feel of her diary underneath one fold of her jacket.

_One day, this will all be over. One day, I won't have to sit and listen any longer._

_I'll spend my life growing flowers, pretty flowers, that don't know this violence. They'll bob their heads to the music of nature and Tifa and Cloud, they'll both live with me and our friends will live close by and together, we'll live a happy life together._

_Together._

Soon it was over, Rude and Reno rushing past her, but not so fast that she didn't catch sight of the blood in contrast to Reno's wicked grin and the note pressed into her hands that she tucked away so quickly. Yuffie hurried after them, then stopped and kicked at the dirt. "Oh man!"

"…Hey. Something seems wrong," Tifa gasped through the need to suck air into her heaving lungs, "Like they knew we were coming."

"They followed us, but there weren't any signs of it. So then…"

"A spy?" Aerith said softly. She tried her hardest to keep her emerald gaze on the floor. "I can't believe it."

"I don't even want to think there is a spy, I trust everyone," Cloud asserted in his usual firm tone and then, "…but we'd best move on as quickly as we can. Grab supplies and hurry, let's go."

"Alright," Yuffie chirruped and hurried after Cloud, "Which means materia right!"

"…maybe…"

She turned and found Tifa was waiting for her still, a bit bruised and breathing heavily, but a smile on her lips and lighting up those wine coloured eyes. "Are you alright?" She asked the flower girl.

She wanted to smile back, but the event had left her a bit shaken so she managed a half-smile and a shrug of her shoulders. "As always, Teef."

"Teef! Been a while since I heard that… come on, Cloud said he saw something a little way up here."

They walked together after Cloud and so she took this time to heal the wounds on Tifa's skin, the more visible bruising. When it was done, the fighter stretched and gave Aerith a gentle push which was the significant starting factor in a strange game of tag. Even Cloud eventually smiled at seeing them play together in the grass, bouncing from one ferny bank to the other with abandon. Aerith had to stop three or four times to just tuck the ribbon back around her braid as it tried to jostle itself loose with all the rough housing, but as quick as she tried to be, she was never as fast as Tifa.

An hour of walking or so later, she finally grabbed a hold of her breathlessly and laughed in delight, arms encircling Tifa. "Gotcha!"

"I was distracted!" The fighter claimed almost immediately, "That doesn't count."

"Wha?" Aerith pulled back and then pouted. "But… but…"

"I'm joking…" Tifa laughed, but her cheeks were flushed a dark pink and she suddenly seemed awkward. Aerith felt the same, standing so close left her wondering if she'd actually done the right thing by grabbing Tifa so hard – had she hurt her?

"…" Her eyes searched around her nervously, and then up at Tifa's face. "I… um…"

"…Aerith…" murmured the taller girl and bending slightly forward, so slowly that otherwise Aerith may have missed it if she weren't holding onto her. She bent so close that her nose brushed Tifa's and she blinked, eyes widening in alarm, but a warm kind of alarm. Faintly fuzzy, if she had to describe it accurately.

"Teef… I…"

"Shhh," was her answer as she felt something brush on her lips. Vague thoughts that she could just about piece together told her that this was almost a kiss.

Almost.

"…are you sure I'll get some materia?"

Together the girls blinked in alarm and separated nervously; Tifa scuffing her foot into the dirt with her head down to hide the bright red colour of her face, Aerith with her hands clasped behind her back and gently swaying her hips as she tried to order those malicious thoughts that just wouldn't get back into place!

Yuffie and Cloud came around the pathway bend, the younger girl stopping suddenly as she spied them. Cloud paused next to her, his expression just as grim.

Tifa looked up, went a darker shade of red and burst out, "I can expl-"

"Another ruined Reactor," Cloud muttered.

Aerith blinked and looked over her shoulder at the devastating reactor mess, sprawled into the dirt and shrub. It lined a small pathway leading to the core where the explosion must have occurred. How had she missed it? It was so noticeable that Cloud and Yuffie had seen it right away, but she'd been so focused on Tifa, on feeling alive…

"…" She said nothing and quietly followed Cloud as he led them deeper to the core mess, her eyes straying to the taller girl who gave her a confused but hopeful smile back. She returned it, blushing madly.

Had she almost kissed her!

A sound from behind them made her pause and look back.

"Aerith, what is it?" Cloud said, stopping too.

"I hear a helicopter."

"ShinRa. Damn."

Two hands grabbed her, but this time Cloud won in the battle for her, leaving Tifa to tug a rambunctious ninja after her to the other side of the reactor. He helped her to hide in the shards of the sharp metal, gently putting his arm before the really sharp bits at her back. Together, crouched close, they listened to the sound of the chopper grow close and then wind down.

He gave her a look, coupled with an arched brow, but she shook her head, indicating that he should listen further. It was a good job he did too, for soon footsteps echoed up the fallen hallway to the core, voices rising out of the dimness of her hearing and Cloud's breathing.

"…Hmph! This isn't any good either." It was that woman she'd only seen briefly in the lab, but Cloud hissed her name under his breath. Scarlett. She tucked the name away for later reference in her analytical mind. "You only get junky materia from junky reactors. This reactor is a failure. What I'm looking for is big, large, huge materia. You seen any?"

"No, I haven't seen any. I'll get on it right away."

_Tseng._

Her heart gave that little painful squeeze.

"With Hojo gone, the Weapon Development has been getting a bigger budget."

Hojo was gone? True, they'd seen him at the beach in Costa del Sol… but… well. She supposed after her breakout and his subsequent failure to contain the Jenova specimen and the rampage of his genetically altered soldier, Sephiroth… he was in a tad of trouble.

"I envy them."

"But even if we make the perfect weapon could that stupid Heidegger even use it?"

"…"

"Oh sorry, I forgot he's your boss! Kya ha ha!"

…_that's the most horrible laugh ever, including Hojo's snigger_.

"…"

"Let's go!"

The sounds of their footsteps faded away and Cloud beside her murmured, "Big, large, huge materia? Ultimate weapon? Perfect weapon… just what are the ShinRa up to?"

She stood up with his aid, looking wordlessly at where he'd been punctured in the arm a tiny bit from pressing into the sharp metal so she wouldn't have to. He shrugged and she was about to heal it for him when Tifa and Yuffie came running around the bend to them. She smiled, "Cloud got a scrape, I was going to heal it."

"You should save your strength, Aerith-sama," Yuffie said. Ever since discovering she was an Ancient, the Wutai girl insisted on giving her the honorific 'sama' which she was reliably told, indicated someone important, or of great worth. That and she sometimes muttered when asleep about Tifa and herself being sisters. "I have a medicinal ointment, should work just as well. Come on…" she took Cloud's hand, grinning.

Cloud groaned and was led off.

Tifa smiled and sidled closer, "Um… Aerith?"

Her face felt like it was on fire, "Y-yes?"

Her hand was held briefly, but when the fighter turned away and followed Cloud, laughing softly, she realised she had left a shining red orb. The red summoning materia groaned with the power of a Titan, earth bound but supremely strong. She felt stronger just having it and she lifted her eyes to Tifa's strong back, where the dark hair fishtailed naturally and found, she didn't know how to say thank you, for the first time in the longest while.

Instead, she simply slotted it into her heavier bangle she wore on her left wrist and let the warm glow speak for itself.

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The town was desolate in the sense that there was nothing comforting about it, at all.

Any illusions she harboured about Zack's hometown were dispelled as they walked into the small place, past the graveyard where people tended the gravestones with flowers and heartbroken love in some strange ritual that she could understand. She wondered if she too should take an interest, after all, after all this time...

The few shops there were remained small, like the place they stood in, sheltered by their rounded roofs that were tiled in strange red shale. She watched as Yuffie pressed herself almost immediately up by the materia shop sign with a half infatuated sigh. "Cloud, Tifa, Aerith-sama... Materia! Maaaateria!"

"Personally," Cloud muttered dryly, "I think we should take her to the clothes shop."

The ninja turned and put her hands on her nonexistent hips, they were so slender and puffed out her lower lip defiantly; that sock slowly slid down her leg for what had to be the hundredth time that day, much to Tifa's barely suppressed snicker of amusement. "What are you trying to say? What's wrong with my clothes?"

"I was just thinking, we could get you a proper belt that fits correctly at the buckle, and maybe put some new elastic in that sock."

"Belt? Belt!" That voice raced up those octaves so quickly that even Aerith winced, shutting one eye. "It works just fine; I'll have you know this belt is a gift from the forefathers of my clan! Why, the honourable Kisaragi clan..." and she was off.

Tifa shrugged at Aerith who smiled back faintly. It was a rant they'd heard countless times, usually from when Barrett and Yuffie butted heads together over the last sweetmeat or the like. It normally ended badly for the ninja either way; Barrett was the kind of muscle that always wins once a fight gets physical, but the warm up taunts and the like, it tended to get tiresome fast. And repetitive, she couldn't forget that. By now, Aerith was sure she could recite all of the Kisaragi clan history and hardly break a sweat.

Eventually, after much hassle from the ninja girl, they got to talking to some residents.

It was when they entered the wrong house by mistake, looking for the local item store which was right next door (the sign was really too close to the other house) that she got the fright of her life. Inside the home, which was sparse but well loved, a middle aged couple were busy doing some chores, clearly the day off from working hard from the men folk.

The woman, looking not much taller than the short ninja, smiled at the sight of Cloud, and then her face seemed to crumple midway into the smile, giving way to shock and surprise. "Aiken, Aiken!" she called in alarm, the husband suddenly appearing from the hallway and coming into the room with an armload of blankets, a shock of black hair visible from behind them.

"What? I was just about to... oh, visitors!"

"Aiken," hissed the wife, "Look at him."

The man, Aiken, put the bundle of blankets down and paused to stare intently at Cloud who shuffled his feet. "Hey, are you in Soldier?"

_Soldier? How would he know that?_

"I was," Cloud frowned. "How-"

"The glow in your eyes. Did you ever meet anyone called Zack?"

_Crumble. Shake. Quake. Fall down dead._

She wasn't sure which emotion hit her first, but she did know her hands had gone to her middle and pressed there hard, to quell the sick feeling inside. Her heart pounded on her ribs as she stared at Cloud, then at the couple, then at Cloud again. Tifa, she barely noticed in her confusion and panic, was covering her ears and shaking her head. Then the couple turned to her and as if from a distance, she heard them ask of her;

"Miss, do you know Zack? He said he had a girlfriend, why, she'd be about your age."

_Zack. **Zack. Zack.**_

It was a bit too close in the room and her knees felt like they'd suddenly had the caps and bones removed, moulded from rubber instead. She shook her head and tried to talk, tried to say something. "Zack... I..."

Their faces were so expectant. She wanted to run to their arms and have a good cry, she wanted to ask why they hadn't seen him. Had only she been the last to know he'd gone to some far off place on a mission? Where was he? The panic was over-riding all her other normal responses and in a flash of blazing thoughtlessness she shook her head again, desperately and barged past the surprised ninja and out into the cool air. She ran past the houses and past the surprised people, wiping at her eyes. When had she started to sob?

_**Zack!**_

Then she took a glancing blow from the side of a house and span around, sitting down heavily. Her eyes stared and she didn't register the sound of feet coming after her, the voice calling her name. None of it mattered, because she was numb, she was deaf to the world. There was only his face, laughing...

_"Aerith, check it out."_

_"What is it?"_

_She grasped it and held it, the long slender present with holes in the end of either slightly enlarged end. He was beautiful, more than handsome, with his spiked black hair, rakish grin and those glowing violet-blue eyes. He leaned over and chuckled, "It's a staff, I figured you'd need something to protect yourself with."_

_"Haven't I got you for that?"_

_"Pfft, I don't get paid enough."_

_She punched his arm, weak as she was and he pretended to stagger, groaning at her, "Ow!" he whined._

_"Oh come on, I'm weak as a kitten."_

_"Oh... does this kitten purr?"_

_"Zack," she laughed. "You never change."_

_They were laughing together, soon enough in the sunlit ways of the city; they walked together and chattered happily. She used the stick he'd given her awkwardly and then, days later he'd come back to her, with the grin smoothed from his features. It had been smothered with sadness instead._

_"Aerith, they're sending me on a mission. I don't know how long I'll be..."_

"Aerith?"

She started and looked up; Tifa was crouched before her, hand on her jacket covered arm to steady her. She realised dimly she was shaking and looked down in confusion. Tifa sat there in the dirt with her. "Don't worry, I told Cloud to wait at the inn with everyone. We'll catch up. You looked kind of odd back there."

"..."

"..." Tifa drew back her hand and exhaled. "I should tell you then."

"Tell me what?" Aerith risked a look up at Tifa. The fighter had leaned back onto both hands as a support and was peering into the sky.

"It's about Cloud." The claret eyes were sad, "That story he tells. You know it's a fake."

"Yeah..."

"Zack came to Nibelheim. Not Cloud. The details, they're mostly right if you put Zack there instead of him."

Aerith's eyes widened and she drew a slow breath, tears spilling down her cheeks. How long had Tifa put up with that lie? It must be going on for more than five years now, living the fake lies of someone else. Tifa noticed this and laughed softly. "Don't worry, I'll tell him eventually, when it's the right time, you know. You can help me explain it all."

"Tifa."

"So, why did you run off?"

She drew her knees up close and hugged then, resting her chin on the kneecaps and peering down at her boots, ugly and clunky things, but comfortable, durable, strong. "Zack... was my first love. Boyfriend, I suppose, for a while. He said he'd been sent somewhere... I didn't know it was Nibelheim. He never came home. I guess he must be dead if he isn't here. What a shock..."

"Rissy, I'm sorry."

She jerked upright, "R-rissy?"

"Oh, yeah," Tifa laughed nervously and blushed, "I mean... you gave me a nickname. Took me a while but I thought of one for you."

"Rissy."

"Okay, you don't have to keep saying it like its poison," Tifa grumped, pouting.

Then, she couldn't stop either the tears or the laughter. The loss of Zack, the pain of knowing he was truly gone and the companionship of Tifa, the gaining of something just as precious in his place. She wanted to laugh and she wanted to cry, both seemed a reasonable reaction. So she surprised the fighter by throwing her arms about her and holding on tightly, holding until she should break from it, but she didn't. In fact, the arms that came up and hugged her back thrilled her deeply. Just holding and being held was enough.

_Funny things keep happening. But I like that, Planet. I like that._

**_Fate should have been a stand up comedian then_.**

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They slept. The campfire warm and their tents not needed for they were getting closer to the desert by the day, an area home to Red if his increasingly erratic and excitable actions were any indication to go by. She slept close to Tifa because she enjoyed the sound of her breathing, soft and gentle.

But her eyes were open and staring to the stars, her heart full but also empty, all in one confusing moment, pressed together. So she sat up for a while and wrote in the diary, putting down thoughts and feelings, a few snapshots that Yuffie had taken of them along the way with her new camera. None of them had precisely asked where she'd purloined the camera from and she supposed it was better to not know, than to ask and be displeased with the answer. Across the campfire, two people were awake. Barrett who was scanning on watch and the other was Cloud who peered now and then at Red who twitched and whimpered in his sleep as many animals tended to do, and sometimes at the inert stuffed form of Cait.

She smiled, but it felt forced. He looked so much like Zack, every action; every word was imprinted with the memory of a man she'd loved at one point in her life to that sweet distraction of a first love. But it wasn't him and now only that memory haunted her, and she supposed, Tifa in some ways.

The time would come when she would have to help Cloud to remember that what he said to them was a story, a fabrication he kept living because he couldn't rightly recall his own reality.

And she shrank from that inside.

But if she didn't help then poor Tifa, so physically tough, so emotionally fragile; poor Tifa would have to deal with it alone. Hadn't she promised to always help her best friend?

...yet...

Turning, putting aside the journal into her jacket once again, she looked at the peaceful, smiling face of her friend as she lay in repose. An arm was under her head as always, that habit she found hard to break and the other out flung carelessly with her hair cloyingly clinging to her shapely form, both legs splayed at unusual angles under the bedding that was rumpled: Tifa really was a restless sleeper.

Her fingers touched her lips and Aerith found herself blushing.

What had happened?

The glint of red materia caught her eye, burning blood red and she turned the bangle, moved it around and around so it sparkled with magical life, the glittering orbs of power. Two materia slotted close together, Shiva and Titan, each softly resonating with the power in her spirit.

Wordless, she lay back down without the ability to find sleep. Instead it stalked her, it pounced on her and pulled her down like a prey, like a predator, and only the blackness of her thoughts remained.

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_I want it._

_I never realised how much I was lacking, or how much I really needed it._

_I have a lot of things, but a lot of them are so faked, a lot of them are see-through. I can see other things through them. I've lived so long with my lies I'm starting to believe them. I do believe them. Sometimes._

_You said he was your first love._

_And I'm jealous._

_I'm so jealous it could kill me from the inside, like a silent disease, eat away at me until only the jealous rage is left. That you loved someone else, that they loved you, that they had the first part of your tender heart you had to give to someone else, to love, to be loved. I hate it. I hate it so much. Do you understand?_

_But..._

_...without that, I probably would have never met you._

_So I'm grateful to him too._

_Nothing of the past matters, you know? None of it; not to me, not anymore._

_Do you hear the ticking? No?_

_You stopped that... you stopped it all. I'm so happy, right now._

_So I have to say it, I have to let you know, when it's all over, when we finish this damned stupid quest of Cloud's and we can all go home. I want you to come with me. I want to show you the spring slopes of Nibelheim. I want to take you out on the airship you confided in me amazed you. I want to show you those stars at the well and see them in your eyes and hear your laughter and...and..._

_...I want you to know, that I want it. I want you to love me._

_I want it, just like I love you, Aerith. Like I love you._


	13. Chapter 13

**13: Ghosts**

_The ghosts of the tribe  
__Crouch in the nights beside the ghost of a fire, they try to  
__Remember the sunlight,  
__Light has died out of their skies._

-Robinson Jeffers

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"No good, it's not going to work," Barrett scowled, slamming the hood down on the buggy.

"Nothing? Nothing at all?" Yuffie half wailed, "I'm baking out here!"

"Try standing in the shade then!"

"Oh..." the ninja girl moved almost immediately to stand in the shade instead of the direct sunlight, her cheeks peeling already with sunburn but her mood no less buoyant for their unfortunate turn of events. The others were grouped into the shade, packed tightly together and watching the sun with a degree of miserable feelings shared out between them. Autumn in the desert seemed to be a hot time for the area, autumn here clearly meant 'way to bake your insides'.

The only one who appreciated the dry, acrid heat was the red furred creature who wandered back and forth restlessly. She watched him as Tifa was trying to find some way to fan them both, she herself was too distracted with fascination, just watching that fiery tail waft back and forth, so it was when he finally spoke she almost leapt out of her skin at the suddenness of it.

"I know."

"Great." Cloud said, and when there was a pause, he was forced to tack on with a grumbling sigh, "You know...what?"

"My home is near here."

Yuffie, who was sat on a rock formation in the shade, leaned close to Barrett and Tifa, eyebrows raised curiously, "...he...has a home." If Aerith didn't know better, she could almost imagine the picture Yuffie was no doubt concocting- of Red, in a home, with no opposable thumbs, despite the talent to walk fairly passably on his hind legs.

"Try not to think about it too much, maybe he lives with people," Aerith added softly.

"That's right," Barrett also added, in a rumble that made her chest vibrate gently, "Around here, Cosmo Canyon."

"Canyon?"

"Well, the desert is actually the canyon," Red explained, looking at her, "But Cosmo is the settlement, for people who ... study."

"I always wanted to visit," Barrett said then clapped his heavy gun arm into a hand decisively, "Is it far? There's bound to be some parts there we can fix the buggy with."

Red nosed over his shoulder and Aerith tried to peer at the distant horizon, where he had indicated, but only a shimmer from the hot ground betrayed her eyesight with wisps of nothing, "Back there, half a day if we're good to walk."

"My legs haven't failed me yet," Tifa said cheerfully.

"I'll do my best," Aerith said softly, realising belatedly that this particular question was aimed at her. She wanted to invest in a wheelchair or something nippy, so she didn't feel like such a lumbering burden. Honestly though, they babied her to such extremes sometimes it was ridiculous... of course she could walk. "Don't worry about me," she smiled.

"Good, then, let us be off," and he was away, bounding with energy towards the point far off. Tifa hung back with Cloud; both of them walking at her side so she wouldn't feel hard pressed to keep up with everyone, the sand backing hot beneath her booted feet. Barrett and Cait lolled together ahead of them at an easy gait, each one carrying heavy packs without so much as a glimmer of discomfort. Beyond that, Yuffie seemed to have the same reserves of energy as Red and despite those socks, which still tried to fall down and conspire to trip her up, she was catching up with him.

She smiled and took both Cloud and Tifa's hand, so they both looked at her with puzzled expressions. Unable to explain, she just smiled with a short wisp of a laugh, so warmly and heartfelt her eyes closed with the strength of it and without looking, she knew both were smiling back as they walked onward.

-------------------------------------------

Cosmo Canyon was well named, for by the time they reached the sprawling settlement, dusk was already falling down around them and the stars in the sky were bright pinpricks in the rich velvet feel the night seemed to have when out in the countryside. It was nestled into the canyon gorge and onto a sort of plateau that stuck out and raised it from the now darker depths where they'd been forced to leave their buggy. The soft glow of a massive bonfire kept drawing her weary eyes and she looked now and then at Aerith who fought to keep her feet underneath her, the soft hand in her firm grip weak with exertion. But despite the lack of colour in what was otherwise a luminously beautiful face, Aerith kept moving without a single word of complaint and Tifa was unsure if she should have spoken up for a rest on the flower girls behalf. Certainly, it would have won her no favours with the object of her confused affections, but... she looked so sick...

Red, who had finally stopped at the top of the stone steps, turned on his haunches and looked each one over with his single golden eye, glinting with the starlight of the strange night, "This is my home, welcome to Cosmo Canyon."

"It's kind of... bigger than I imagined," Barrett said, scratching at his head.

"Cosmo Canyon has stood for years, countless centuries..." Red glanced to the guard at the entrance, who was nervously shifting a halberd around, then his tongue lolled out in a curious wolf-like grin and with a burst of speed from his hind legs, he was bounding inside, crying out, "Please let them in, they helped me some on the road!"

"Oh, is that so..." The guard turned back to them and looked them all over too. Tifa almost pushed at her hair, so intense was the scrutiny and so sharp her awareness that she indeed, looked a dire mess from days spent on the plains in all the sandy dust and little to no access to anything resembling hot water. "You helped our Nanaki? Then come in..."

"Nanaki?" Yuffie looked confused, "Who's that?"

"Nanaki is... well..." He gestured after the furry creature. "...Nanaki."

Cloud muttered from the other side of Aerith where he was holding her elbow to help keep the girl on her feet, "That cleared a lot of things up right there, I can see that this place is a lesson in frustration and cryptic answers."

"Cloud," she admonished, "Don't be such a grump. Besides, it means a warm bed and a hot meal."

"And a bath," Aerith added softly.

"Exactly, hot water." Tifa scowled at their leader, "It's been almost a week since I've managed to sink into a hot bath and with this heat and sweating, I must smell awful. So if you don't mind, I'm going to find a nice, hot spring."

They were walking inside, trudging wearily would be closer, with the exception of Cait, who never seemed to tire, and Yuffie, who whooped and bounded off into the settlement before anyone could think to stop her, and tell her to keep sticky fingers to herself. She attempted this, of course, whilst hopping and pulling up a sock. Cait, who seemed to have grasped the sudden air of dismal despair that sank across their entire faces bar Aerith's, nodded and followed Yuffie, as if to try and act as some kind of watchman.

Tifa sighed wearily and clasped at Aerith's hand, smiling warmly, "Aer-"

"Tifa, lets follow Red."

She stared at Cloud across the top of Aerith's head; glared would be closer. He looked right back, cool and calm. For a brief moment she felt her heart spasm and she tightened her handhold on Aerith - was he intentionally trying to keep her and the Ancient from spending any time together at all?

"I was just..."

"Its okay, Teef, I need a good hot soak anyway. You can come and find me when it's over, right?" Aerith sighed softly, struggling to stand on her own. But the smile she gave her was warm. The green eyes seemed to glow in the night; no eyes were more beautiful than those eyes to Tifa.

Reluctantly she let go, aware her expression was sullen and nodded, "Alright, don't soak up -all- the heat though, alright?"

"Would I do that?"

"Maybe," Tifa half smiled and looked to the guard, "Can you help her to the hot springs? I'd rather not leave her alone... but..."

The guard nodded and Tifa pretended she didn't see the flash of exasperation that fled across the flower girls face. Instead she purposefully turned away and strode after Red with Cloud, hoping that she wasn't going to come back to having her ears roasted off with some of Aerith's well hidden sharp tongue - she really always knew the best way to wound someone with words.

The place where Red had fled to was a tall building with a winding staircase that weaved inside and out of the sturdy, cool stone structures with the elongated, open windows to allow air to flow in and out with ease. She passed a weapon's shop and a few homes where she was almost certain she could hear the familiar, adolescent tones of Yuffie squeaking about her number one obsession: Materia. The came finally to a ladder, which they both climbed up with some trepidation and it came to the biggest plateau of all, atop all the other buildings.

Cloud made to go into the building, but she ignored him and went to the edge of the flat ledge and stared out across the way, into the unblinking night and felt the coll air of evening on her exposed skin, pebbling it. Her eyes were heavy as she cut across the mountain range of the canyon to the west where several tall spires of darkness rose indiscriminately, massive and touching the night where they seemed to fold into it, setting the stars to jangling in crystalline tones. Those mountains were the Nibelheim ones.

She hadn't realised how close she was getting to that place.

Soon, perhaps a matter of days after their business here was concluded, they'd be hiking over the vast grassy plains and then, further into the heart of where all her madness had started. She clutched at her chest with a stab of agony, feeling like she should bend over from a blow to her stomach.

Sephiroth.

He would be there. It was as if he were leading them there, to cruelly play with their minds and memories, to break their spirits.

_Is that so? Is that what you are doing?_

_Well, bring it on, Sephiroth, bring it on! I'm not scared of you... I'm not._

_I don't know what you are, but you're nothing like Aerith, and if you want to destroy everything because of that one person in your life, then I want to save it all. For her._

_...and this stupid scar you gave me? That's nothing._

_You hear me? You're nothing to me... and you never will be_.

"Tifa?"

She gave a jump and hurriedly tugged her hand down, turning to smile as brightly and falsely as she could at the slightly perplexed expression of Cloud. "Y-yes?"

"Why are you crying?"

_I'm crying?_

She opened her dark eyes, surprised to find the salty sting in her eyes. It was burning down her cheeks and to her collarbones, "It was the wind, it was in my eyes."

"Bugehagen," -_who?_- "Has a machine inside. I wondered if you'd like to see it? I was going to ask Aerith, but I think she already knows how it works."

"I...I don't feel up to it, I'm sorry."

Cloud tilted his head, looking confused. She wanted to hug him suddenly and cry her heart out, tell him that she didn't want to go back to Nibelheim and the only way he'd do it was by tying her arms and legs together and carrying her like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder. She wanted to tell him that it was all a lie...

So it was she knew the gulf between them, as friends, as her only childhood link, was widening and she had no idea of how to reach across that gap and drag herself back. Because on this side, she knew she loved Aerith, she knew she had many great things left to do, and she knew that somehow, with Aerith's help, she would be able to heal that wound on his psyche. Somehow.

But not right now.

"Cloud, after this, we'll be going home."

"I know. Are you okay with that?"

"...I don't think so. But we have to go there anyway, to follow Sephiroth." Tifa turned her head to the side, "And he's similar to Aerith, both of them... they're like us but at the same time, nothing like us. I feel like she's fading away the closer we get to him. I want to stay away from all of it, so she won't fade but... but she wouldn't, because of you."

"Me!"

"She seems to feel like she has to follow you too." Tifa laughed shortly, then shook her head and started past him to the ladder, "It really gets to me, you know? It's always about you."

"Tifa," he hesitated, "What are you trying to say?"

"..." she shut her eyes with the familiar wring of pain then opened them to clamber down the ladder with only her cryptic silence left behind her. Cloud was watching her go, but she didn't say anything, leaving him there as she touched the solid ground of the indoor houses.

She supposed it was the perfect time for a bath, or to even see what life was like in this settlement. If anything, Cloud would find someone else to take with him and see that machine. It's not that it didn't interest her... it's just that Aerith interested her far more. The people of the canyon seemed to be, on the whole, happy people who spoke with a sing-song accent that reminded her of the doctors she had seen in her youth, when her mother was very sick.

She examined the weapons shop merchandise, finding enough cash for a new pair of gloves for herself (her old ones were looking a touch tatty around the knuckle area) and a shining staff that she knew Aerith would just love. So with the present under her arm, she went looking for the Ancient.

Tifa found her in the most unlikely of places, the tavern. When she slid in, she realised that Aerith was so deep in conversation with the Canyon elder that she hadn't even noticed her friend; the look of intensity on the pale face was firm. So Tifa slide to the bar, where she pretended to try and cajole the recipe for 'Cosmo Candle' out of the barkeep without any success, all the while sipping the aforementioned drink and eavesdropping on the conversation between Aerith and the Elder.

Aerith was saying; "...so other Ancients, they came through here, before?"

"Ifalna did, you really are the image of your mother."

"Thank you. I thought she was beautiful... can you tell me, about... Jenova?"

"Jenova, eh? The calamity from the skies. Legend has it, that it fell at the Knowlespole and destroyed a good chunk of Land. Jenova, wearing the guise of a human, came amongst the people, befriending them. But something changed, along the way, either she must have become sick with a space virus or been evil at heart, for she turned the people against the Cetra. In the end, Jenova was so lethal to the planet that the Cetra were forced to seal her away in the rock, over two thousand years ago. But the disease of Jenova had already worked it's magic... it ran into the veins of the Cetra and turned a majority mad, then into the monsters that roam the land. The remaining Cetra scattered as far from the Knowlespole as possible."

"...monsters are... cetra?" Her voice was horrified.

"Maybe once. But they bred and mutated. Anything that was Cetra inside them is now long dead in their ancestors." The elder puffed on his pipe, "But then, you must realise if you think along those terms, then realise that humans and Cetra are too, related."

"...we are?"

"When the Cetra settled here after a migration to raise the spirit energy of the Planet there appeared those among them who were opposed to moving on and elected to settle on the Planet. Over time, the two tribes became humans and cetra. The humans lost their link to the Planet and all their magical powers. The Cetra and humans maintained good relations though, until recent events with your mother and the ShinRa. Now..."

"..." Aerith bent her head and if Tifa was a canny judge of any situation, she would swear she was crying. But she didn't do anything, apart from sip at her drink and try to ignore the sick feeling roiling around in her stomach.

_Poor Aerith._

-------------------------------------------

_How pretty the fire is. How they all sit there and stare so sadly into it._

_...what do I do now?_

_I didn't know the history of my people, my mother never really communicated too much about it to me. It's a sad and tragic story, that we fought so hard for the future of this world and it turned against us. Even the unfortunate story of Jenova. She seems so angry at everything; at everyone... is Sephiroth even aware in his madness that his mother reviles everything that the settlers of this world have become, not him? His anger at ShinRa I understand, but to go to this length..._

_...Planet... please, try and help me._

_I want to find a way to help everything, everyone._

_Mother. You used to say that one day, I'd find my way out of Midgar and seek out my own promised land... well.._

_...sitting here and looking at their faces, at the distant face of Cloud or the laughing face of Yuffie as she sulks over the lack of materia; at Tifa's face which is stained with wordless tears or the strong, comforting face of Barrett who makes me feel like he'll shoulder all the problems I have, even Red who stares at the fire sadly... all of them. Right here. This is my Promised Land._

_Having friends, feeling like I belong, and love. All of that, mother, I have it all_.

_What would I give up for the solution to this problem, you ask?_

_...I'd give up myself. I'd give up everything, so they can have it all_.

_That's enough, right?_

_Mother... when you met father, how did you know it was love?_

_Butterflies? Strong sense of security? The ability to be yourself? All of those... I see..._

_But how pretty the fire is... perhaps... I'll just consider it for a while, alright? ...alright..._

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The old man who came to the fire was old in the way of the world his face marked with happiness but many, many creases and his beard long, to his knees as he rode in a kind of hovercraft. His eyes though, a warm and twinkling hazel seemed to want to laugh at every little thing.

"Hohoho," he boomed in a strong voice that belied his fragile frame, "You really can't forgive your father?"

Red looked up from where he had been talking to Cloud, Aerith noticed the fur of his muzzle was slick with tears. He shook his head, "Of course... ...he left mother for dead. When the Gi tribe attacked he ran off by himself, leaving mother and the people of the canyon!"

Bugenhagen shook his head gently, the firelight making that white beard of his glow gently and suddenly, Aerith knew this was the kind of man that her father would have become... if he'd lived even long enough to be given a face from her memories. "Come, Nanaki, there is something that you should see."

Red stood up and loped over to him, eye puzzled. "...?"

"The place will be dangerous," the old man smiled at Cloud, "Will you and one other person please come along with us?"

"Alright..."

Cloud stood up and she fixed her eyes on the ground, knowing the words he was going to say before he did, "Aerith, come on then."

"Wait," Tifa flared, standing up with sudden fire in her words, "You can't take her there and expose her to that kind of danger. Not without m- ...measures taken at least!"

_You almost said 'me', Teef..._

"Are you saying I won't protect her, well enough?" Cloud challenged back.

Yuffie leaned towards Barrett with her brows lifted in some confusion, her hair shining in the dark and fire glow, "Uh, what's going on?"

Barrett, in turn, just looked at Tifa and Cloud, then down to herself. She tried fixing her eyes anywhere but his soft brown gaze, which seemed more amused than admonishing, as he rumbled, "Seems t'me like they're arguing a little more than over safety."

She blushed and could hear Barrett laughing, a sound she tried to shut out as much as she was aware of Tifa lifting her hands in a vaguely threatening gesture. So she gripped her hands around the staff and stood up quickly with a short laugh, holding the new weapon close to her, drawing every eye. "It... it's alright, Teef, just an opportunity to try out the gift you got me."

Cloud's eyes went to narrowed slits as he stared at the weapon. Tifa's smile was faintly smug, as she glanced at Cloud briefly from Aerith. "...If you think you can handle it."

"I can, trust me."

"Always. But," Tifa rounded again on Cloud, who hadn't appeared to have expected it and thusly, jumped from his own skin, a good foot into the air, "If she comes back with a single scratch from her, I am kicking your ass all over this canyon!"

"Idiot," Cloud snorted and folded his arms, "I won't let her come to any harm."

Aerith laughed and shook her head, "You two. Friends shouldn't argue, right? Let's be going then..."

"Yeah," Cloud muttered and came to stand behind her, and they walked off into the night. It wasn't far before she could hear the cursing of Tifa as she kicked dirt at the fire, and she smiled to herself.

_Sorry Teef, I'll make it up to you, somehow_.

---------------------------------------

The blood dripping from her cheek didn't bother her much.

In fact, as she crouched close to Bugenhagen as Red and Cloud finished the violent and vicious ghost off, she was glad she could still feel some pain. The caves were an intricate honeycomb of confusing rooms and pathways, it had disorientated her and left her feeling hollow, numb almost inside. That feeling had eaten away at her, bit by bit, until they came to this final room and some kind of primal instinct had come over her, surging up the powers handed to her from her forefathers. They had been... incredible...

She still could feel her fingers tingling from the magic that ran, roughshod, in her veins. There was no other word for it than short of miraculous. The Planet had calmly informed her in that strange jumble of words and music, that this was the inherited trait of her particular bloodline, the ability to heal and support others. Once, long ago, other families had retained traits much like these. Elemental specialist families, non elemental, summoners, healers... the list went on... But as time faded and the bloodlines thinned, somehow the healer lines remained more dominant.

There was no one on the planet with this amount of magical influence in their blood, apart from Sephiroth. She was shaking from the intensity of it, even as she and Bugen' came from hiding when it was all safe. Cloud was slightly scorched and scowled, seeing the cut running across her cheek, but the elderly man seemed pleased, perhaps more than pleased.

"Thank you, because of you two, we all survived the dangers of this cave. You too, Nanaki, you have grown strong too."

"Oh yeah?" Red said, curiosity burning in his voice.

"I now know that bringing you here was no mistake... Come, the place we seek is just up ahead..." and so saying, he floated in that direction on the hover-chair.

Aerith came to Cloud's side and smiled wearily, trying to indicate that all her healing magic was spent. He shrugged and moved his hand so his thumb ran over the cut on her cheek, wiping away the blood that was dripping.

"I'm going to get yelled at," he sighed.

"I don't think she'd yell too much. She's just very protective, that's all."

"You're worth protecting."

Aerith blushed as he waited for her to enter first, then he followed after her into the next cave which turned out to be an open gorge crack. She stopped and tilted her head back, looking up at the vibrant sky and then... at... she narrowed her eyes, trying to see the figure that crouched on the flat of a gorge side. It was similar to Red, just a touch more grizzled and bear arrows that stuck from its strong body at painful angles, the figure seemingly made from stone.

"This is..." Red said softly.

"...The warrior who fought against the Gi," Bugenhagen said quietly, just as softly, so not to disturb the strange peace. "He kept them from taking even one step into Cosmo Canyon. But he was never able to return to town. Look, Nanaki," He waved a hand, "Look at your father, at the warrior, Seto!"

Aerith clapped her hands to her mouth, eyes filling with compassionate tears as Red looked as shocked as she'd ever seen him to be. The air was pregnant with tension, as Red lowered his gaze from the stone figure, to Bugen in horror and wonder, all mixed together. "That... that's Seto?"

"Seto continued to fight the Gi tribe here. ...to protect this Canyon, even after the Gi's poisonous arrows turned his body to stone, even after they all ran away, he continued to protect us, and he continues now."

"Even now..."

"You thought that he was a coward and he ran away. But he alone risked his life to protect Cosmo Canyon... that is your father, Seto."

"Did..." Red's normally collected voice was shaking, "Did mother know?"

"Ho ho hooo! She knew. The two of them made me promise to seal this cave shut," Bugen's eyes glinted with memories and he came to touch Red gently on his head, a comforting gesture, "They asked me to do it myself and never tell anyone about it. They said we should forget about this place." At the cat's sudden silence, he turned to them and said, "...would you mind leaving us alone for a bit?"

Wordless, both she and Cloud nodded, filing from the cave where she was sure she could sense Red's tears with the after-burn of her magic. In the cool of the cave, she stood not too far from Cloud and smiled gently. All their panic in trying to escape the strange monsters and ghosts of these honeycomb caves, so that Red would finally have some peace, it was worth it.

"Now you're crying too." Cloud sounded amused and she looked up, "Why is everyone crying today?"

"It's just a day for tears," she laughed, despite those selfsame tears cutting down her tanned cheeks, "Don't you ever feel like crying sometimes?"

"Well sure, but I try and wait it out, so I don't lose my masculine edge." He winked.

She laughed harder, hand to her cheek, "Your masculine edge?"

"Are you trying to say you haven't noticed? Pfft," he looked vaguely deflated. "Now I just feel a bit short changed!"

"Cloud," she smiled, "You try your best to cheer me up, and you don't have to."

"I want to. You're... special to me."

"C-Cloud..." her cheeks were on fire and hands almost strangled the necklace. But just as she was sure she knew what she wanted to say to him, a howl cut sharply through their moment and she turned suddenly. "...Red..."

But the moment was lost... and like many other moments, she'd not get it back again...

-----------------------------------------

"Cloud!"

She stared, watching as Tifa chased the blond mercenary around the front plateau. He seemed to be vaguely slower than her_ (possibly having a sword that could double as a tree trunk didn't help) _and she was gaining quickly. The others stood with her, watching as they dashed here and there in a comical game of cat and mouse.

"I told you," Tifa raged, so hotly that it was a wonder steam didn't spout from her ears, "One scratch! **One scratch**!"

"Ahhhh!" Cloud yelled as he fled past them, only to be tripped up and immediately, the scuffle between two Nibelheim residents started with Cosmo residents egging them on.

She laughed and cupped a hand to her cheek, where the thin strip of white bandage had been applied.

_Yes, this is my Promised Land._

"Tifa, that hurts! **OW**!"

-----------------------------------------

(( Sorry for the slow update! Please, r/n/r))


	14. Chapter 14

_(A/N: Sorry, sorry, this is such a short chapter. Also, as an edited note - I've had to reupload CH14 because isn't liking me all that much :( I'm sorry! Enjoy it...uh... all over again. Yes... that also means some reviews for CH14 no longer exist too. Sorry! ))_

**14: Sweet Nothings**

_"Honey, now if I'm honest  
__I still don't know what love is..."  
__The Other Side, David Gray_

------------------------------------

True to the word of the mechanic in Cosmo Canyon, the buggy was up and running as good as before, if not better. He and the hulking muscle mass that was Barrett talked for a while about engines, oils and petrol types. She purposefully didn't pay them too much attention, riveted on writing in her little journal with her cramped if neat writing. Sometimes, either one of Cloud, Yuffie or Tifa would try and casually walk close to peer at what it was she committed to paper, but each time she shooed them away with a little swipe of her staff, handily laid out by her.

When the mechanic finally left and Barrett spent a few more minutes discussing minor seating arrangements, they all crammed back into the buggy with far less success than they had some days: most of which was blamed on Yuffie's sticky fingered acquisition of anything not nailed down. Anything on fire was reasonable fair game, as long as an extinguisher was close to hand. Aerith found her self, much to an extended fit of giggles, squished between Red who kept huffing at her elbow when the vehicle jolted them about unmercifully, and Cloud who kept trying to hold her hand, much to the distraught glares of Tifa.

On the second day, Tifa elbowed Cloud from the way and claimed the spot by Aerith with Red, still being elbowed in the nose no matter how much she tried to apologise for motions that weren't her own. Typically, Tifa took this time to stand on Cloud's foot if he so much as tried to worm his way closer and casually laid her arm behind Aerith's shoulders in a 'she's mine' motion.

Aerith wasn't entirely dense when it came to matters of the heart, she knew that something was happening between Tifa and Cloud, leaving her stuck in the middle of it all, wondering if it was safe for her to even go to the bathroom unsupervised. Scratch that; they'd both insist on being watched the entire time she was away. It was starting to feel somewhat like being a prisoner of war, only she wasn't sure what the war was about, what started it or how the war would end.

So on the third day, she escaped them both to sit between Cait and Barrett in the front, when the canyon desert faded and grass suddenly started. It was a pale, dry affair to begin with, the grass looking as though it struggled to live every second, but soon the lush green she mentally associated with the rolling countryside opened up. The grass was thick, deep and dotted with rapeseed grass, dandelions and wildflowers. She put her hands on the dash of the buggy in excitement.

"Wow, look, how pretty even if it's so late in the year!"

Everyone moved to see through a window, the cries of Yuffie from behind as Red got in her way and the subsequent growling match between them for a view. Tifa and Cloud remained silent, until Tifa said in her quietest voice that chilled Aerith's heart, "Yeah, Nibelheim always was pretty this time of year."

"Nibelheim, getting close to your hometown, eh? Y'sure Sephiroth's gonna be there?" Barrett called from the front. She twisted to try and see the faces of both residents of the destroyed, haunted town; marginally surprised to see almost mirror replica expressions on both their faces, Tifa looking out of the window to the distant mountains and Cloud bending his head so his hair seemed grimy, not as brightly blond as usual.

"He's there."

"Awright... getting kind of dark, we ain't making that town today, whatever is left of it, that is. Best we all jes' camp down fer the night. Red, yo, get out and lope alongside, will yeh? Makes finding somewhere to sleep better, y'know?"

"Do I look like a pet?" the red furred creature growled.

"No, but you look like you know the area better than us. Get out, go on!"

Red snarled but did get out, after putting a paw heavily on Yuffie's hand. She muffled a gasp and clutched her hand close to her chest with a whimper, "Like, ow? Clumsy..."

"Not clumsy," he panted through the open window, voice carrying easily in the descending twilight, "I did it on purpose."

"Why you sneaky little-" she fumed, but Barrett was laughing and soon even the others relaxed their dark moods, to enjoy the merriment of the moment. Aerith slumped down a little, relieved that the tension in the buggy had gone down.

Yuffie sat back too, folding her arms and pouting viciously, "Fine, laugh then, when I vomit down your neck it won't be so funny."

"Jeez, take a joke!" Cait chirped.

"Oh _shut **up**_."

"Hey." She said, pointing at where Red had finally loped to a standstill, and then to the mountain range, "That's really impressive. Stop the car, I think we found somewhere to camp out." She twitched at her necklace, looking from the corner of her eye, past her heavy golden brown bangs to where Tifa and Cloud were both staring at the mountains. The buggy thrummed to a halt and slowly everyone clambered out by the small grove of trees, apart from Yuffie who took this opportune moment to sink to the floor, trying to gulp in air to calm her travel sickness.

Aerith tilted her head to get a better look at the mountains, and then was joined by the others. She shaded her eyes with a hand held to her forehead, feeling small and somewhat in awe looking up at the expanse of majestic rock. It was dark purple already, by the evening, it would be darker still, and the peaks dotted white they reached that high up. "Wow," she said.

"Everyone says that," Cloud murmured sadly, "People used to come from miles around to stand on the highest peak in the world, the tallest mountain. Now, it's nothing, there's nothing left."

"Nothing at all?" Aerith queried, looking across to Tifa, then back to Cloud. Both wore grim masks of determination. "Not even the pathways, bridges?"

"Probably not."

"But," Tifa chimed in, "I'll find us a way. I grew up spelunking, so this should pose no problem to me. But we should think about setting up camp. Could you get us the water today, Aerith?"

A little surprised, as normally she was the one to set up the fire and cooking, the ancient nodded and followed them towards the buggy, picking out the canister and moving away, to the trickle of a stream that splashed and hissed close by. All the while, the oppressive mountains loomed over her, and she couldn't help but think of the faceless terror that had been ShinRa...

------------------------------------

_The corridors were flung in all directions, tilted badly and confusing, like a maze for a lab rat that she fled down, running her fingers along the walls, looking for the memories embedded in the soft crumbling plaster and the dirt streak paint, the peeling wallpaper that was no longer fashionable. The rooms contained beds and bracken and broken equipment that half glowed with memories of power and memories of evil things._

_She came to the staircase that spiralled down, but with courage in her every step, she soldiered down them, feeling fingers touching the walls still of this singular world; the cobbles and the mortar crumbling under her fingertips as she passed._

_The screams were coming from the bottom_.

_Soon she alighted, soft like a feather, into the darkness and stared down the hallway to the door at the far end. Swallowing, she clasped her necklace and moved in closer to the doorway, where the jamb rattled and the knob shook, feverishly. Trying hard to keep her wits, she grasped the handle and turned it clockwise, opening the door._

_Inside was a library mixed closely with that of a laboratory and she entered, step by step, careful not to disturb the dust, heading in curiosity for the glowing green tanks where two people hung suspended in the watery substance. Each work a face mask, designed to feed them oxygen no doubt, both figures were male and very naked, but she paid that no attention, leaning in closer instead to the tank to try and read the words scratched there_.

_F...r...e...e..._

_Free?_

_She turned away to leave and explore the library, but a hand shot out from behind her and dragged her round; nothing could quell the scream rising in her throat as Zack, her poor beloved, missing Zack stared sightlessly at her with completely white eyes, naked and dripping with the green water, his dark hair plastered down his neck and shoulders._

_"Aerith, free me," he gurgled and pushed her as she flailed and screamed, trying to hold onto him, trying to stay upright, or perhaps trying to escape. She waited for the dull thud of her fragile body hitting the floorboards, but there was a splash and then she was sinking, into water, into cool blue water where her hair misted up in strands above her, her clothes, her arms leaden and lifeless._

_She sank, or floated; she was not sure which, but her scream was soundless and the tears in her eyes vanishing with each blink of her eyes in the painful, sweet water_.

_"Forgive me," she mouthed as there was less light, bit by bit, until...nothing..._

----------------------------------

She came awake with a start, surprised to see that Tifa was half crouched over her in the darkness, both their sleeping bags close by one another. Her face flamed as she realised Tifa wasn't exactly going to win any awards for wearing a lot to bed, but then, she didn't particularly pile the clothes on earlier. Her hand came up shakily to rub her throat, a small laugh eking out.

"You were screaming," Tifa said in her quiet voice, calm voice; the voice Aerith had grown not only accustomed to, but the voice of reason in all the madness. Her hand helped stroke down some of Aerith's hair, mussed from the thrashing she'd done when asleep, "Was it a bad dream."

"Just a weird dream. Tifa, is there a mansion with a staircase inside it, in Nibelheim?"

"...We have a mansion, what kind of stairs?"

"Spiralling, downwards."

"No, nothing like that, sorry. Why, was it in your dream?"

Aerith knuckled at her eyes, "Yes, it was. There was a library and there was..."

_Zack. Begging me to help him..._

"...there was..."

_Water. **Always** that water... what does it **mean**?_

"...Zack." Her voice broke and she started crying, suddenly Tifa was drawing her in close and she sobbed onto the girls shoulder, feeling all broken up for things beyond her control. "The dreams have never been this awful, Teef," she confessed.

"Dreams? Do you have them often?"

"Sometimes... I dream of water. Always water," she gave a little laugh through the storm of tears, "You'd think it'd make some sense if I was even a touch hydrophobic, but I'm not, not in the slightest. I like swimming. But this water, it's different, it's choking me."

The fighter frowned, a slight furrow appearing between otherwise perfectly tended eyebrows; reminded Aerith in one of those weird roundabout ways, that she should do some primping at some point; "How long have you been having those dreams? The ones with water."

_Be truthful._

"Ever since I saw my mother die, my real mother. I... keep wondering if the Planet is trying to tell me something that's too painful for it to simply tell me with words."

"Have you spoken, with the Planet, recently?"

She stared down at Tifa's collarbone, head nestled on her shoulder. "A little. It sometimes tells me about Sephiroth, sometimes tells me that I have to do certain things... sometimes, recently, it's been asking me if I'm ready." Aerith squeezed her eyes shut, the pain of the force behind the motion felt good, bizarrely, "I don't know what it means. I must sound so completely crazy to you."

"No, not crazy, just different."

"Haha, different... I like that."

"So do I," the taller girl breathed sadly, then continued as Aerith tried to ponder on what that curious little phrase tried to convey. "You know, Cloud is in love with you."

She betrayed herself by blushing heatedly, the broken little chuckle from Tifa confirming that she had noticed the sudden change in temperature against her shoulder. Aerith clutched her hands together, wondering what she should say to something like that, or if she should even try saying anything at all. It didn't seem to be the right time for anything to be said by her, not yet. "I..."

"It's alright," murmured Tifa, "I know. But... did you also know..."

_I can hear her heart pounding, thud, thud, thud - I'm amazed it hasn't broken her ribs_.

"I mean," the other swallowed her words, trying to fumble something out; "I'm not so good, with myself. I feel sometimes... that... I'm someone else inside, or more precisely, everything I want to be, I'm not right now, because I don't know how to say it quite right. But if it's you, I don't mind messing my words up, because, you know, you're you... so I wanted to, that is, I... you see..."

"Tifa?"

"...tell you, that... I ... I..." She gave a kind of infuriated half sob, likely with herself, and forced out, "I love you."

"...Oh..." was the limit of Aerith's vocabulary right now. She wouldn't have found the will to say much else; it was a surprise but, not as much of a surprise as it should have been. Thinking back, there were those strange sensations in the pit of her stomach whenever she had been close by either Tifa or Cloud, only she'd overlooked it as a destiny thing, Planet calling her to a change in scenery. Not that it would...

Love.

"You don't have to say anything," Tifa stumbled right on, stuttering like a madwoman, "I mean, it's a bit confusing, I suppose, well, it is, no suppose about it. Just... Just look at me, and see me, Aerith. Look at what you've done to me... I never thought I'd be happy again, really happy. The kind where you wake up and you smile and it's not a faked smile. That kind of happy. Because, I wake up next to you, because I spend the day with you, because you've filled a gap I didn't know I had. You're... something to me. You know? ...and... All my life, I wanted to be a 'someone'... to a 'somebody'. And..."

Aerith felt her hand being held, an arm tightening about her fragile shoulders as Tifa struggled with something she'd spent the last few months fighting, hiding so hard; feelings and thoughts that Aerith knew she returned at least, for every moment, she looked for Tifa, she expected there to be Tifa.

"...and... I want that... somebody to be you, Aerith. I want to be a 'someone', for you. So look upon me... kindly... please, even if you can never return my affection." There was a crack in Tifa's voice at the end, wavering uncertainty, and bitterness and jaded hope all mingled in together, "So... I'll take what I can of you, Rissy."

"Teef," she mumbled, unable to think clearly right now.

"I... I know, that is, t-that Cloud loves you," was she starting to cry? "And... you at least have some affection for him, but please... don't leave me out of your beautiful life... please..." Then Tifa was crying and Aerith found she was lost for words.

So instead, she moved closer, her free arm sliding about Tifa to clutch the shaking body close. She shook her hand free and lifted it, brushing away tears almost as quickly as they came, "Tifa... I don't know what to think."

"I'm sorry, I had to, I just had to, or I'd die... I would have... I..."

"Shh," she admonished her and leant in close enough to brush her lips on Tifa's, the faintest pressure of skin; how cold Aerith was in comparison to the other girl, still laced with the aftershock of her vivid dreams, but was vaguely pleased when Tifa pressed back just as lightly into the kiss.

The crying slowed as the taller girl said in tones of wonder, "Aerith?"

"Shh," she breathed for the second time that night.

--------------------------------------

The tent was dark as pitch still, morning hours away but she found she couldn't close her eyes.

She didn't move, for that would dislodge the sleeping head tucked into her shoulder, the arm thrown across her middle and curled up her side. They slept in their seperate bags still, for after a storm of weeping; the Ancient had lain her down and kissed all that sorrow and pain away. She'd never realised it was like this, to be really in love. The agony of childhood, fleeting romance faded fast in the sudden storm of her realisation that she loved deeply. That it was a woman, it didn't matter, the loving mattered. That someone, her someone! Had accepted her whole heartedly, that was what mattered to her.

Outside, nightingales warbled softly in the copse canopy and she smiled, tilting her head back with a sigh.

Aerith hadn't said she loved her.

But in her heart, she knew she would when she was ready to.

...and Tifa was happy enough to wait for that.


	15. Chapter 15

**15: The Forbidden**

_They can't tell me who to be  
__Cause I'm not what they see  
__Yeah, the world is still sleepin'  
__While I keep on dreamin' for me  
__And their words are just whispers and lies  
__That I'll never believe_

_And I want a moment to be real  
__Wanna touch things I don't feel  
__Wanna hold on and feel I belong  
__And how can they say I'll never change?  
__They're the ones who stay the same  
__I'm the one now  
__'Cause I'm still here_

_-John Rzeznik/Goo Goo Dolls_

_A/N: I give you a longer chapter! Onward! mush mush_

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It was the hand that stole into her grasp which comforted her, she realised dimly, as she stared with disbelieving eyes at the town of Nibelheim.

Like a spectre from her past she had locked inside a cupboard and tried to forget about, it stood there in full glory, with bright lights in the streets as soft dusk was slowly approaching after their long hike across the grassy hills that day towards it, a day she had spent in a giddy kind of moments, flitting from one to the next, with her. Picking her flowers, like the rare Sunset Nibel flower that she knew grew close by and when they'd taken a brief break, presented it shyly to Aerith... ...only to have Cloud, squished on the other side of the flower girl most conveniently, present her with a practically identical one, which had done absolutely nothing for the tension rising between the two friends. Aerith, for the most past, had blushed and stayed very quiet, not daring to look at either one for fear of exacerbating the rather awkward moment.

But they'd picnicked and spent time under the sun, with Tifa trying to remember different things about the town that had existed only in her fading memories since that fateful night five years ago. And now...

She gripped the hand, fighting the breaking sob in her chest as the party came closer to the town. She was confused, this was all a wasteland: Zangan had sent her photographs of the devastation and the tabloids had even printed brief obituaries that no one would have looked twice at. One of them had been her own, the tragic death of local teenage beauty and rising martial arts star, Tifa Lockhart.

At their leaders sudden pause by the gate, she also realised that Cloud couldn't entirely understand what was going on either, looking from the town and to her, specifically her, in the same measure of 'being lost' as she felt. She lifted her shoulders helplessly, "Cloud..."

"I thought it was a pile of rubble," rumbled Barrett, coming to a slow, lumbering pause behind them and scratching at his neck. Tifa winced a little, "What's this then?"

"It looks pretty good for a ruin," chimed Yuffie, peeking out from behind Cait who was trying to secure all of her stuff in the trunk so it wouldn't be lifted by another thief - a simple exchange of stolen goods, about as far as Tifa saw it, to be honest.

"I'm not lying!" Cloud muttered.

"He's right," she said, "This was nothing. After the fire, there should have been absolutely nothing left of this place. Only ashes and the vague memories of those who escaped to live faceless lives. Like me."

"Alright, but then what's that doing there," Yuffie persisted. She was like a dog with a favourite toy when it came to being obstinate. "It looks like someone had other ideas."

Tifa narrowed her eyes, as did the blond ex-soldier. Both of them knew she had avoided adding on 'If what you say is true' but they also both realised as intelligent adults, that there was some measure of truth to this. The only reasonable thing she could think of bubbled from Aerith's mouth in soft soothing tones before the situation could escalate from hand.

"Then, why don't we look for clues?"

"...I was just going to say that," she smiled in relief.

"I know. Mind reader! Or I know you very well." The ancient crinkled a smile, dimpling her cheek in the most adorable fashion. Tifa's cheeks bloomed with a blush a little, realising the mad urge to bend her backwards and kiss the ever-loving life from her, looking away quickly with a cough as the hand squeezed hers knowingly. "Well guys? I think something got covered up here, sneaky like."

"ShinRa," Red said softly, "It'd have to be."

"Why dya say that, mmm?" Looking down at Red, Barrett folded his arms, both the size of branches, across his barrel chest.

"Isn't it obvious? Cloud told us that Sephiroth caused the chaos here. If he did, then ShinRa would be indebted to take care of any mess incurred by its military."

"Military." Barret blinked, and then grinned, "Ah that's right, he's a General. Or at least he was, at any rate."

"Exactly," Red looked towards Aerith who nodded gently.

"So if ShinRa covered it up, it would be by the expense of building the town exactly how it was from local planning records. Nibelheim wouldn't be tossed aside, the reactor would be too value to them for their plans to get to the Promised Land, not to mention, as Cloud said, their... ex... e..."

"So, we go looking for proof," Tifa butted in, seeing Aerith stumble over her words. She knew that memories of ShinRa were very painful for the maiden, proven further by the fact that the tanned cheeks suffused with a blush, eyes casting down to the floor. "Any proof we get, the quicker to drag ShinRa to the dirt."

"Alright, let's mosey," Cloud agreed, much to the sudden giggles of Yuffie who sprinted forward. "What!"

"Mosey? Teeheehee, Cloud the Cowboy. I can just imagine you in chaps with your ass hanging out!"

He flushed suddenly, a bright red and opened his mouth, just as Red added in a dry tone passing him, into the town, "Better than a dress."

Aerith covered her mouth as she did when laughing, seeing Cloud's neck colour furiously and even Tifa was forced to bite her lip, reminded of that vision of Cloud as a dolled up lady for Don Corneo. Chuckling softly, she watched him storm off into the town, and then glanced at Barrett who looked confused. "It's a long story."

"I'd like to hear it."

She smirked, "Buy me a drink and I'll consider it. Come on Aerith, let's go see how much they rebuilt."

"Alright," as they trotted into town together, the flower girl looked over her shoulder at the large man, left with the equally bulky but soft bodied Cait Sith, "I **can** tell you he wore pigtails and makeup."

There was a long, silent pause as Aerith turned back to carry on walking, then laughter, booming laughter, exploded behind them.

---------------------------------------

It was by the inn that Cloud stood for long moments, trying to collect the thoughts that ran rampant, the feelings he had disconnected with the lies of his memories, lies he believed to be the utter truth: they felt as fresh to him as though they'd sparkled in his chest only days before, the laughter of children that were absent and the sounds of the busy town on it's business. Now it was ghostly and he didn't know what to do about the ache in his head, the pain in his heart.

With a glance back at laughter, Barrett's laughter, he spotted Tifa and Aerith walking into the town. His attention slid without conscious thought to the flower girl who twirled the fiery sunset coloured flower between her hands and he smiled gently.

_She kept my present with her_.

Glad of the growing friendship between the two pillars of his existence, he turned back to the inn and pushed the door open and slid inside, closing the door on the soft murmurs of conversation between the girls behind him.

----------------------------------------

"You like that flower, mmm?"

"This? I've never seen anything like it before. It's like every sunset I ever saw in a picture book."

"Isn't it just? It's called the Nibel Sunset. It only grows around here, it's normally pretty rare. But..."

"It's okay. I guess... Cloud had the same idea too." The flower stopped twirling around and around in her slender hands as she leaned forward to put the bloom behind the ear of the taller fist fighter, smiling gently as the rosy glow of orange and red seemed to compliment the pale, dark beauty of Tifa. "But this one you got for me. So keep it safe?"

Tifa blushed and reached up to brush the flower gently, "Aerith, you don't have to do such things."

"What, you don't believe in romance?" The petite girl laughed and went steps ahead of Tifa, pink skirts twirling. Then she glanced back and caught the somewhat confused expression on her face and paused, touching a hand to her necklace, then cheek in thought, unaware of how comical or attractive she always looked when deep in thought, "I do, though."

"I can see that." Tifa's voice was warm with affection as she drew closer, walking in step.

"So, shall I believe in it for both of us?"

"No, I'll figure out how to make romance live for you. Er, somehow," her laugh was faintly nervous, "That is, if you don't mind?"

"I'd love it."

"It might take me a while, but I'll figure it out eventually." Tifa suddenly pointed with an expression of surprise, "Wow."

"Wow?" She turned to peek where the finger was pointing. It traced a direct line across the cobble plaza in blues and greys to a thatched, tall house that seemed big enough to house three families, in cream paint and the beams of old oak weathered and worn in decorating the outside. Pleasant cobble colours of mushroom and beige were pressed against the lower half, with a very tiny front yard that seemed little more than a collection of pots and planting boxes, filled with verdant life. The house seemed to be new to Aerith's eyes, but she tilted her head at Tifa all the same, "...wow, what?"

"It's... my house. My home."

"That's your home!"

"Yeah... but..." Her voice broke, "It shouldn't be there. I'm almost afraid to look inside."

The Ancient gnawed on her lower lip for a long moment, then summoned the will to smile from deep inside her self, pasting it on her pale lips. The fighter's expression was pained and torn: she clearly wanted to see inside it, curiosity ever a driving animal inside all living things, but was also afraid of what she would find inside. Not for the last time, Aerith made the same promise within herself, firming it down into her soul.

_I promised myself, I'll be Tifa's inner strength, if she can be my outer protection_.

"Well, it's not long until evening and Barrett will probably book us into the hotel for an evening meal, so why don't we have a quick look around?"

The dark wine coloured eyes creased with indecision, "You think we should?"

"Hey, it's your home, not like we're doing anything illegal after all. Come on!" She took the hand of Tifa, grasping through the hardened leather and sharp prongs to grip tightly. The grip in return felt desperate and lonely, gripping back as if she would fade away and a rueful smile bubbled inside her as she drew Tifa towards the house. Only twice did the fighter try and break away and escape, but each time, firm as iron, Aerith grabbed those hands and willed her to come with her.

Even if she didn't admit it aloud, she was just as frightened of what Tifa might find inside there, but wisely kept those details to herself. The house was, surprisingly, unlocked with the door stood slightly ajar. Tifa went inside first, stepping over the threshold whilst wearing the face of someone who was expecting to walk into a shotgun on a string. But she was met with only silence, the black cloaked figure of a man huddled over a table. Seeing as Tifa was rooted to the spot just inside the house, Aerith squeezed by and went directly to the figure that rocked back and forth whilst muttering something about a reunion.

Under the cowl, that was the one place it wouldn't let her see, so she simply checked his pulse and looked him over for injuries. With a twist of her healing magic and a tendril of air, she touched it through the cowl to his temple and drew back with a gasp of air. But when Tifa looked over in concern, she just smiled, and pretending she'd seen a mouse.

Luckily, no questions were asked, so she rejoined Tifa who had begun to creak up the stairs. "Third step up, always creaked," she murmured and sure enough, she put her foot on the step and it creaked loudly. Her eyes filled with pained tears and Aerith tried to smile for her.

"If the ShinRa do a job, they seem to do it well," she said softly, putting her hand on the small of Tifa's back, "So instead of standing there like a decorative statue, move up those stairs and continue looking."

"I guess."

They went up the stairs, another step creaking loudly when Tifa paused in the hallway between two rooms. Aerith peered round her at another figure who she could see through one half closed door in a wide room, rocking as it walked, hooded and caped just as the other figure in the front room downstairs. Her green eyes narrowed faintly but she said nothing, following the taller girl as she moved into the other room.

It was furnished in the old country style much like the rest of the home; beige walls and wooden furniture. The bed was nestled into an alcove by an upright piano where sheet music sat. On the bed was a pile of dolls and toys. The main part of the L shaped room was dominated by a homespun carpet with flickers of red and brown in the pale cream design that reminded her uncomfortably of a whirlpool. By the wide window was a desk with a lamp and a massive set of wardrobes stood along the same wall with a full length mirror.

She stood before the mirror: it was dirty as if no one had dusted it for a while, so she drew her hand over the surface, clearing a section with a smear of dust onto her hand. Only her curious green eyes looked back at her, calmly and with a clear outlook.

"It's exactly how it was," Tifa said sadly. She went to the bed and picked up a doll; it was an old rag doll type with corn row hair in russet red and a bonnet tied under the chin, gingham dress and floppy arms and legs. "Samantha, my old doll. How could they get this right? Even my piano... They even had the sheet music."

"A piano?" Aerith looked back, "I didn't know you played piano."

"Oh, yes. I took lessons in it when I was younger. I was pretty good." She picked up the sheet music, "Yep, 'Angel's Cry for Me'. This is what I was learning when... when..."

"..." She looked away from Tifa, changing the direction of the topic slightly, "So will you play for me sometime?"

"Huh?"

"The piano." Aerith smiled, blushing as she looked down, "I would love to hear you play. Anything you make, it would be beautiful, and I know it would be. So... one day, play for me and only me?"

"Play?" Tifa laughed and joined her by the window, reaching to take her by the waist with affection painting every line of her body, looking down at her. She felt so fragile, just being held by this powerful woman and the blush hurriedly spread up her cheeks, "I would make a song just for you. I'd write lyrics that would never do it justice; I'd mess up every single phrase of notes and sing, badly, very badly... if you wanted me to."

"Tifa Lockhart," she scolded with a laugh, "And you said you didn't know romance."

Pleased by the blush that now mirrored her own; Aerith touched the taller girl gently on the lips with her fingertips then looked shyly to the side as they were kissed back. But she soon broke away, reaching for the piece of paper on the desk much to Tifa's displeasure as was marked with a grunt of disapproval. This, she ignored as she lifted the paper and blinked.

"Tifa, did you write any letters to ShinRa?"

"No, why?"

Grinning triumphantly, she turned and held up the sheet so Tifa could read it, "Proof! Ta da!"

------------------------------------

Over dinner they had discussed the topic of proof. They had all found different morsels of the real truth hidden around the village and whilst eating (_in Barrett's case, for ten people_) they found collaborating proof from each other than ShinRa had indeed covered up the incident that had struck Nibelheim. Later, after trying to spend a relaxing evening, it was agreed that ShinRa Mansion in the dead centre of town would likely hold the key to unlocking their mystery, so they left it to the next day. Mostly for Yuffie's sake, as she complained it would be "Way too creepy!" in the dark. So Cloud, Yuffie and Cait all played a card game (_which the ninja girl cheated outrageously in_), Red spent the evening trying to pick the burrs from his fur whilst adding commentary to the card game and Barrett promptly fell asleep almost right after dinner, burping in his sleep. As Yuffie commented, to howls of laughter from those still awake, "Only pigs fall asleep right after eating." When he later woke up and she kept saying _oink-oink_ whilst the others chuckled at him, Barrett found himself angry... but not entirely sure why.

Tifa was planning to try and show Aerith how to use the piano, she looked as though she had the hands for it, but when she went looking for the girl in their rooms, she found no one there. Instead, on the bed closest to the window which Aerith always seemed to bag, the jacket was left with the small diary just peeking from the pocket. Her fingers itched: Tifa knew curiosity killed the cat... but... No! She loved Aerith and would never betray that trust, so with a regretful glance at the secrets it contained and she couldn't see, she sat down and looked up through the window at the night sky.

It was very much like that night had been, so long ago now, where the sky was scattered with diamonds and it twinkled, it burned with the fires of heaven. The sky was indigo and blue and black and melting with the heat of the beautiful stars and the vague cloud of a nebula somewhere in that hazy indistinct feeling of the moonlight. She smiled. There was something about the night that Tifa had always loved. It was cool and calm and it was dark.

_A little like me_.

It was then she realised she could hear someone singing softly and she tilted her head to try and hear it.

_"Straight on this long continuing road  
__There is surely something to believe in.  
__Like a traveller in the midst of the wind  
__I have my eyes on the northern sky!_

_The passionate feelings that were beginning to vanish  
__Once again sway with radiance in my chest,  
__I don't want the tears to spill,  
__As so not to lose to my weaker self._

_In eyes, holding only an unadorned spirit  
__There are great, unseen wings.  
__So I open my arms while singing,  
__To embrace the perpetuity of time  
__To be tied to life..._

_...so... straight on the long, continuing road  
__There is surely, something to believe in."_

Tifa found tears in her own eyes and touched her lips, realising that she could hear Aerith, that the unseen singer was the flower girl. Was she looking up at the night sky too? Quickly, so she wouldn't be spotted, she hurriedly left the room, promising to teach Aerith about the piano some other time.

_It's something I shouldn't intrude upon. Even she deserves to feel sad now and then. My Aerith._

--------------------------------------

_She was close now, the door rattled and jiggled and jolted on the hinges. It was alive. So she reached out and took the door knob, the door instantly falling dead silent. But regardless, she turned the knob and pushed the door open._

_It was the same inside, the lab, the tubes, the desk scattered with books and the floor littered with torn up pages. The two tanks were left there, almost neglected in the corner of the room, a figure floating inside each tank, formless in thought and silent apart from the soft sounds of breathing through the masks they had to wear to keep them alive._

_"Little Princess, falling like a flower petal, I see you're curious."_

_She turned at the sound of his voice, surprised at how calm she was when her eyes fell upon the face of Sephiroth, seated across a table from where she was, a book in his strong and capable hands as he raised a pale, silver brow at her. His hair glistened bright against the black of his clothes, like he tried to cloak himself in shadows._

_"I wanted to see what this place was."_

_"ShinRa take. ShinRa destroy. ShinRa only ruin everything, they can only twist and distort. This place, once the seat for great knowledge, is also home to great sins that mankind can never atone for, they can never be clean from." He closed the book with a snap._

_"Was Zack here?"_

_"You saw for yourself, didn't you? Yes, he was here."_

_"Cloud... he didn't come to Nibelheim with you?"_

_"Maybe. Maybe not." He stood, inky black and smooth in his motions. She was vaguely aware that she wore a flimsy white dress to her ankles, arms bare and her hair down as if she was been swimming, damp like that. "Think you can save what has been mired in Hell?"_

_"I can. I will. I'll do it for all of them."_

_"Pretty little Tifa is here with you too. It will be nice to see her again."_

_She looked to the side, expression tightening, "You'll stay away from them. Because..."_

_"Because?"_

_"Because I'll stop you. You'll see."_

_He laughed at her, vanishing into the shadows with an amused murmur of: "Save your self first, Angel." She watched the shadows he'd slipped into and out of the room with, then turned back to the tanks and started closer. One housed a figure that was indistinct to her still, but her eyes moved back to the other and the familiar scratch of 'Free Me' on the tank of glowing green._

_A hand thumped against the glass, making her jump. Her eyes flew up to meet eyes of the exact same green, widened in fear. Her exact replica screamed silently in agony, drowning without a way to be free. So she hammered on the glass from her side, beat at it with spells and with staff but nothing worked, to no avail at all. And Aerith could nothing, but watch herself die..._

------------------------------------

"Jeez, we have to go in? It looks way creepy even in the daylight."

Yuffie hugged her arms to her stick thin body, pouting darkly as Cloud started towards the main doors, "Yes. In, Yuffie. Now."

"Don't talk to me like I'm a dog!" She huffed, "Red's the only dog here."

"Firewolf," he corrected her.

"Wolf, dog, all related. **_Alright_**, don't blow your stack Cloud, I'm coming." She hurried ahead to pick the lock, her sock sliding down her leg and catching on Aerith's skirt hem so she was being hurried along with the ninja girl, her dress riding up as buttons popped.

"_Y-Y-Yuffie_!" she exclaimed, turning bright red and instantly putting her hands on her skirt.

"Oops! Oh well, least it didn't get any higher, though, Cloud might have liked it," the smile was playful.

Tifa scowled. Cloud mimicked her expression, but not without a hint of a smile on his lips as he glanced towards Aerith, cheeks tinting red. These made Tifa bite her lip harder, and then punch Barrett on the shoulder to indicate they should catch up as Cait was once again resigned to carrying the luggage of item packs. "Come on, day dreamer."

"Sorry. Yo Cait, you awright with that?"

"Absolutely, laddie, I ha'e the strength o' ten men, y'know."

"Which ten? I knew men like weeds, scrawny little bas-"

"Barrett!" She reprimanded sternly, finally getting to Aerith's side to help the Ancient button her dress back together, following it with a scowl for Cloud who watched with far too much interest. He seemed to take the hint and looked back to the doors which Yuffie threw open with a smug smile.

"Piece of pie!"

"That's **cake**, thief," Barrett rumbled.

She sniffed airily, "I don't **like** cake; I **like** pie."

"I don't care **_what_** y'like, say the language right, awright!"

"You first," she stuck her tongue out.

Tifa sighed and straightened after slipping the last button into place, getting that grateful smile from the Ancient almost immediately and she smiled in turn. But her eyes strayed to the strange building, fear clotting at her heart, strangling her almost and she realised that she had never really been inside apart from a few errands for the ShinRa employees in the past. It smelt musty, pervasive damp over the years had grown mildew on the doorframe and inside. It was wide, the reception foyer, with a desk to one side where canisters of gas had been stacked. The central floor had several rooms branching off from it, as well as two staircases rising on either side. As she recalled, the layout of the mansion was pretty expansive, and dark. Someone had left all the curtains closed over all the time since anyone had been back inside the ill fated house of ShinRa.

"It's big," remarked Yuffie, "Are we going in groups?"

"It'd take too long, and we can all take care of ourselves," Cloud sighed, "I don't like it, but we'll go off by ourselves. Use the PHS if you get into trouble."

"Or scream." Red grinned lazily, "Screaming like girls tends to help."

"Yo, I ain't screaming like no girl," the big man huffed, reloading his gun arm with each click of the large bullets, "That's for Cloud to do."

"I see that someone explained the dress incident to him," Cloud said through gritted teeth. Tifa felt like grinning in a terribly smug fashion, but didn't, instead tucking her arms about herself. Her mood died suddenly, looking towards the flower girl who was rubbing at the staff in her hands. Would she be alright on her own in such a horrible place? Maybe she shou-

"Alright," Aerith said, "Let's go. Good luck everyone." She smiled and like usual, everyone smiled back. She certainly had a way with people, did her flower girl. She was the first to step inside, but was soon overtaken by Yuffie who dashed to the back, along with Red at her heels. The flower girl took the stairs on the left up, eyes soft and wondering. Tifa watched her go, left with just Cloud and Cait, who wandered about aimlessly, clearly not sure if he could even investigate anything with his huge, soft toy hands.

Cloud looked back at her as they both stepped inside. "Tifa, this feels odd."

"I know how you feel. Let's make it quick, I've always hated this place."

"I remember throwing stones at it as a kid."

She smiled, starting to the other staircase, "Let's hope it doesn't remember you then, eh?"

He laughed and went a different way. She continued up and to the room right at the back, pausing by some floorboards that creaked to peer at the painting on the wall. It was of the Nibel Mountains where the sunrise was just starting to peek over, flooding the land with rich gold and oranges. It looked beautiful and almost peaceful, nothing like her memories of fire that had flooded over Nibelheim town.

Then she moved on past it, kicking the door open and ducking inside with both of her fists raised up before her. The room was spectacularly empty, not even a mouse stirred inside. Instead there was a bed and a stack of papers on the desk written in a legible, cramped hand that she moved to and picked up the first sheet of paper on the top. It was the diary of some Turk. She didn't recognise any of the names involved with it, Lucrecia or a few others, but the name Hojo stood out in clarity and she swallowed a little harder than she intended.

_March 22nd_

_Lucrecia is pregnant! But she had decided to continue with the programme for Hojo. What can I do to prevent such a loss? How can I ever fully explain my love to the woman who would throw away, the woman who is my entire life? I don't know. My heart, it lies in pieces and she is the glue, she is everything I have ever known, I have ever wanted. So I'll think on it tonight, and find a way tomorrow. I will._

_One day, I will kill Hojo. And enjoy it._

She put the paper down, feeling sympathetic. After seeing what he'd done to Aerith in the short time they'd been separated, hearing stories of him from the scattered reports, she wondered if she would complete this mans wish for him. She'd love to be able to strangle him herself. Feel the blood on her fingers... the dark revenge for harming her most loved person...

"**AHHHHH!**"

Someone screamed into the house, followed by a massive crash. Dropping the paper as instinct took over, she hurtled from the room, crashing into the painting outside so it fell to the floor and was crushed under her heavily plated feet. With her hair flying behind her in the familiar fish tailed style, she was Cloud hurrying from the other room and the others taking the stairs, steps by steps in great bounds. Yuffie slipped and she grabbed her quickly as the doorframe of a room where Aerith had vanished into splintered open and a massive red tentacle came from nowhere.

Her eyes widened, seeing Aerith backed into a corner, magic already crackling the air and burn marks spotting the wood of the wall from where fire spells had burned off in excess. Her eyes were worried and large and as another tentacle arm came crashing down, this one purple, she dove to the side with a shriek that turned Tifa's blood to terrified jelly.

_**Aerith!**_

Then as she moved, Cloud was already there, taking the next blow so he was flung to the side with a grunt, not without stabbing back. Jealousy surged inside her and she scowled darkly, letting go of Yuffie so she stumbled and diving into the fray with a flying kick at the monster from behind. Cloud grinned at her, blood trickling down his chin as he seemed to think she was there to help. She didn't smile back, moving to stand over Aerith wordlessly.

_...because then I'll be her hero._

_And she'll love only me._

_...what a dark monster jealousy is. With green eyes just like yours..._

So when the next blow came for the flower girl, she was ready for it. She was always ready...

------------------------------------

_Spooky mansion. Check._

_Spiral staircase. Check._

_Creepy and abandoned basement. Check._

_The door to the lab. Check._

_The tanks. Empty. Check._

_"Free me". Check._

She stood shivering by the door, outside the room where Sephiroth had just flown from. After the fight with the monster from up above and after being awarded with a new materia to summon a god of all things with and a golden key, they found the passageway down that Cloud somehow remembered. It was exactly as she'd dreamed. It made her blood run cold with fear. The visions of her sleep, she'd tried so long since leaving Midgar to ignore them, but now they were coming true. She wondered what she'd dream of next as they continued to plague her nightly, leaving her sweating and open to psychic attack from the mind of the General, who had mockingly smirked at her as he'd fled past.

He'd been in her dreams, of this, she was unswervingly certain.

So she was by the other door that her key had fitted into, waiting for Cloud to open it whilst shivering endlessly from the chill of being downstairs. Tifa was laid out cold upstairs after being hit a little too hard by the monster in what could only be called 'kamikaze' protection of her own wellbeing. She smiled a little: the ninja girl had shown surprising knowledge of herbs as well as a little natural healing magic of her own, so she'd left her in Yuffie's care. Yuffie had been awed at the trust placed in her by 'Aerith-sama' and swore to watch over the comatose Tifa, who no one dared to mention, drooled in her slumber.

Cloud pushed the door open and went in. She went moments after him, just the two of them alone in the cobwebbed tomb stuck under the earth. It was a tomb, she realised with a shiver, replete with coffins and sarcophagi, faces carved into wood and some exposing velvet lining. One in particular was resting in the middle, not stacked together and with a swift flash of insight; she went directly to this coffin over the others as Cloud gave her a curious look. She pressed a finger to her lips and then rapped gently on the lid.

"Hello?"

The lid flew off and someone emerged, looking at them with red eyes. It was a man, wearing a heavy burgundy cape that was riddled with bullet holes and a leather suit with tight fitting trousers, boots with gold armour and a golden arm to replace his left, claw like and opening and closing restlessly. The Cape was drawn up so it covered the bottom half of his face, a heavy headband of the same colour cloth covering his brow. Hair the colour of night was shaggily cut around the thin, pale face of the man with eyes of burning red, like the Fallen Devil Star on summer nights, just over the horizon. "Who disturbs my slumber?" He grated, in a voice that was melodious but dark, filled with the deepest of self hatred and darkness. Her compassionate heart swayed in pity.

"You were having a nightmare," She said softly.

"Hmph," he said, looking from her to Cloud, most intently, "A nightmare? My long sleep has given me time to atone."

_Atone?_

"What are you saying?" Cloud blurted, staring right back at the strange man, crouched in the coffin.

"I have nothing to say to strangers, get out. This mansion is the beginning of your nightmares."

He turned to lie back down, but Cloud said quietly, "You can say that again."

He paused and looked back, eyes glistening. She wanted so badly to drag him out with them but resisted the need to, listening instead to his voice and the strange inflections he used, "Hmm? What do you know?" And so it was she stayed there, patiently listening to Cloud as he explained about Sephiroth. Sometimes there would be a glimmer of understanding, sometimes sympathy hidden in the dark turmoil that seemed to be this mans lot in life. But when Cloud was done, their candle in the darkness of the mansion had burned down by a quarter and his voice was slowly fading into a rasp, for talking so much.

Finally, he drew to a close. "Like you said, this mansion is the beginning of a nightmare. No, it's not a dream, it's for real. Sephiroth has lost his mind. He found the secrets hidden within this mansion."

_The secrets of Jenova in the geological stratum, the horrors of the experiments, the terror of his own life... The fundamentals of mortality and immortality... unhinged him. I pity him._

"...So Sephiroth knows that he was created, five years ago you say he found out? And about the Jenova Project... he was missing and has recently appeared, he has taken and is taking many lives and is seeking the Promised Land," He sighed softly.

"Now, your turn," Cloud prompted.

"Sorry, I cannot speak."

"But," she finally said, the paused, seeing the look of pain on his face.

"Hearing your stories had added upon me yet another sin. More nightmares shall come to me now than previously before. Please... go now..." And so saying, he laid down and firmly pulled the lid shut.

Aerith looked wordlessly at Cloud and held her hands up, "Cloud, he's in so much pain."

"He just said he wants to be left alone."

"**No**!" She cried out softly, "No one wants to be alone, not _really_. So we'll reach out to him, you and me. Come on, open that lid."

"Alright, but if he complains, it's _your_ fault," he shrugged and came close to push the lid off. The man's eyes snapped open, a bit angrily. It was a good thing, Aerith supposed, that at least he was still capable of some emotion!

"...You're still here," he muttered sourly.

"Yeah. Who are you; at least tell us your name!"

"..." He glanced at them both, and then sighed, "I was with... the ShinRa Manufacturing Department in Administrative Research. Otherwise known as the Turks. Vincent Valentine."

"The Turks!" She squeaked, jumping back. Cloud, she noted, moved to be between them.

"...formerly of the Turks," he said soothingly, for her sake she supposed, "I have no affiliation with ShinRa now. And you?"

"Cloud Strife, formerly of Soldier."

"Aerith Gainsborough... the last Cetra."

His eyes bored into her and she swallowed, looking away. He seemed to have the ability to look right through her to her soul with unerring vision, but if he saw anything inside her, he didn't say. She flushed, feeling weak and suddenly wishing that she'd stayed upstairs with Tifa, watching over the girl as she slept her wounds off. Her healing magic was stronger than Yuffie's after all...

"You were also with ShinRa, do you know... Lucrecia?"

"...who?"

"Lucrecia. The woman who gave birth to Sephiroth."

Now she -did- jump, staring at him with some surprise. The tone in which he'd said her name was filled with love and despair, but Sephiroth born from a normal woman? She'd thought he was... Cetra in some fashion, Jenova at least... What was going on? "Wasn't Jenova his mother?" She asked.

"That isn't completely wrong," he smiled faintly, "but just a theory. He was born from a beautiful lady. That lady was Lucrecia Crescent, she was an assistant to Porfessor Gast of the Jenova Project. Beautiful Lucrecia," Vincent sighed.

"A human experiment..." Cloud said flatly.

"There was no way to cancel the experiment. I couldn't stop her," his eyes closed and he lay back down, tugging his cape over himself like a burial shroud. His voice was filled with pain, deep agony that he couldn't exorcise from his own life. "That was my sin. I let the one I loved, the one I respected the most, face the worst." And so saying, he tugged the coffin closed.

She rubbed her arms, looking at the coffin lid sadly. "What a sad story."

"...ShinRa. Bunch of monsters. I'll bring them down... come on," He smiled and went to the door, smiling to try and cheer her up, "Lets go make sure everyone is alright."

"Yeah," Aerith nodded and hurried after him, looking forward to being back out of the creepy darkness. But they'd not gone far down the hallway back to the staircase when she heard footsteps behind her and they paused, looking back at the figure of Vincent who settled onto his feet with the torn cape floating down behind him.

He fixed them with glowing red eyes, "Wait. If I go with you, will I meet Hojo?"

"Hojo," she murmured softly.

"Dunno," Cloud said, "But... we're after him and Sephiroth. I guess sooner or later..."

Vincent looked down, "Lucrecia. Alright... I've decided. Let me join you... let me pull down ShinRa with you. Being a former Turks I may be of some help to you."

Aerith smiled.

_At this rate, I should open some kind of Psychiatric practice_, she chuckled to herself as together, and they set off for the distant daylight in the upper echelons of the forbidden and forsaken mansion.

-----------------------------------------

Tifa patted her side and then smiled, "Yuffie's medicine worked fine, don't worry."

"But, the mountains look rough," Aerith muttered. "I don't want you breaking that wound open."

"Worrywart," Tifa teased.

But she was happy, that she worried.

_It's an indication of love_.

-----------------------------------------

The journey over the mountains took two days. The going up had taken longer than expected. The first pathway had been pretty much plain sailing, especially when Cloud found an upgrade for his weapon with better slots for his materia. He called it 'Rune Blade' but no one had the heart to mention how awful it sounded, despite Aerith's giggles into a hand when he strutted with it. The monsters were vigorous; no doubt because of the experiments Sephiroth had set loose during his rampage at the reactor.

The first day wasn't without incidents. The first and foremost had been Cait accidentally dropping half their rations when a flock of crows startled them. Curses in that northern dialect flew thick and fast as the packets of trail food vanished into the misty depths of the harsh mountains, so they'd been forced to pick the pace up in order to get to a plain that was flat on the other side. Next came the moment when Yuffie's sock elastic broke again and it came sliding down. She caught it on a spike and crashed face down, and then when she tried to get up, she howled blue murder. A quick inspection from their resident healer had calmed the girl with an expert touch, fixed the sock and pronounced it a sprained ankle. To prevent squealing, Yuffie took the spot of their missing rations on Cait. This did much to worry her as she clung for dear life to the stuffed toy, eyeing the distant drop that swayed with distinct unease not so far away.

Thirdly, the fire was incredibly hard to make when they stopped for camp, because wood was scarce, so the best Aerith and Barrett could conjure were some materia reactive rocks which Red then helped set fire to, as he showed proficiency with fire magic. It made logical sense, what with him being what he called himself - a Fire Wolf. Fourthly, one of the tents had a massive rip in the side which Tifa spent the evening repairing, her touch with a needle clumsy. Comments about it being lopsided and badly done were met with frosty silence and unspoken threats of stewed wool for a week to eat if they continued.

The second day wasn't as directly awful - they made better time. Cloud and Tifa both went off to examine the reactor together, coming back with sombre faces. When she and Aerith stole a break alone, she wept into the lap of the Ancient as memories of her father were stuck in her mind and the stains of old blood had been left in his exact spot on the grate walkway. She didn't say anything about the subject after she'd wept, instead looking grim and deathly ill as they trudged on. Quickly, trying to be as romantic as she remembered she'd promised Aerith she would be, she showed her the mako fountain to which the girl reacted with euphoric delight, exclaiming that she could hear the Planet very clearly in that spot.

Then at the exit onto the path that would lead to the northern plains of the continent stood a large hulking spider creature that they had taken an hour or so to defeat. It was a hairy moment for all of them, but eventually a clever combination of Yuffie's distraction tactics, Vincent's speed and strength, Aerith's magic and everyone else just beating on the creature that they'd come out of it in mostly one piece, and a pretty necklace which Yuffie gave to Cloud, who gave it to the Ancient. She slipped it into the backpack and said nothing, knowing Tifa's jealousy would flare up.

As twilight fell slowly, all of them followed the path down with some help needed: Vincent simply picked the tired Ancient up with respectful hands and helped her to the grass plain, then backing off with respect deeply afflicted his voice as he suggested they all camp for the night after such a wearying battle with the monster. So they set up tents, made camp and roused good cheer despite their mission to follow Sephiroth north, across the mountains. The path of the plain curved around the mountain and Tifa told her that it would be a week or so before they got to the next town, a town that Aerith would find fascinating.

And for the first night in a week, she curled into bed, aware that the dreams of the desolate and haunted mansion of ShinRa wouldn't trouble her.

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_Tseng was dying._

_The blood pooled as the madman laughed, holding the curved sword in a glittering, evil arc overhead, blood splashing down from the blade. Behind him was the altar and pictures, blurred but close, or distant. She wasn't sure which but no matter what she tried to do by squinting or otherwise, she couldn't focus them. So she looked instead behind her._

_Tifa pressed hands to her mouth as a voice echoed._

_"Aerith's star. Cloud's star. They show a bright future!"_

_Cloud was there, reaching to her from before Tifa, who was crying, weeping gently. "My hand, take my hand!"_

_"Cloud, just what do you think you are doing!" Tifa shrieked and pushed him down. "Run, Aerith, run far away from us! RUN!"_

_But Aerith couldn't, because she was sinking._

_There was water, like there always had been water. She tried to flounder and swim badly, but her arms wouldn't move, her legs wouldn't listen to her demands and she knew she was drowning, she knew she was going down and down but the panic filled her as the light grew from underneath her, swallowing her whole..._

_...and she was there, strapped to the ShinRa table as Hojo leaned over her, his breath rancid as he pulled the flashlight from her eyes. But when he pulled the medical mask down, his face was replaced with that of Sephiroth, who smirked at her. She tried to scream as he picked up a scalpel labelled with the word 'Love' and pressed it gently to the skin of her chest._

_"Liar!" she shrieked._

_"You are... my work," he breathed and pressed hard, shattering her breastbone. She screamed._

_...She screamed still, opening her eyes and looking down at the figure crumpled before her by the stone column._

_Tseng was dying._

_The blood pooled as the madman laughed..._


	16. Chapter 16

**16: Getting Lost on the Road of Life…**

_"And it's not a cry that you hear at night  
__And it's not somebody who's seen the light  
__It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah..."_

_-Jeff Buckley-_

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"It doesn't look like a week on the map!" Yuffie wailed, holding it upside down for the curious reason that perhaps the distance would magically shorten between here and there, "And worse, it's been a week already, this is what we get for letting Barrett read it!"

"I read I fine, foo', you're the one with no direction."

"I'm a Ninja! I have plenty of direction, you just don't know north from south from your neighbour's backyard!"

"Come closer and say that, shrimp."

"Fine, only because you **_ASKED FOR MY SHURIKEN UP YOUR ASS_**!"

Vincent, a quiet spectator in the wonderful world of sport which had fast become '_Yuffie vs Barrett – insult slinging matches of the century!_' just lifted a cool, corporate eyebrow and said: "Arguing gets you nowhere."

Tifa covered her face and groaned, "It always starts this way, and soon we'll have to listen to their fighting all night if Vincent can't separate them."

They were, as Yuffie had stated so acrimoniously, lost. Beyond lost, would have been a closer assumption and no amount of blame shifting would change the fact that they were lost somewhere around the bottom of the Nibel Mountains. For the past week they had followed the directions of the map and seemed to have turned in a circle and then like an arrow, they had come northward to the mountain feet. This was leaving them in a situation that gave pause for grave thinking. Their food supply could only be sustained by local wildlife for so long – certain necessities were running low besides those of a food nature, and Tifa was sick and tired of finding a stream that was chillier than Vincent's sense of humour to bathe in.

Aerith didn't seem to be entirely too bothered by the situation, sitting away from the rest on them on a crop of the mountain rocks and peering far away into the distance with a hand raised to shade her brilliant eyes, her mouth resting in a hint of a smile as she hummed along to songs Tifa only knew from eavesdropping shamelessly. This past week had seen Aerith wake three times in the night, shaking with fear and sweat dripping off her. Nothing that the fist fighter had said had calmed the fluttery heart of the Ancient, no kisses or touches soothed away the shakes and when she lay down, her eyes were wide and staring, looking somewhere far, far away.

Cloud, seated at the bottom pile of rocks had his head tilted so he in turn, like Tifa, was looking at the Ancient who smiled and hummed. The dark thorn of jealous wheedled its way into her heart a little deeper every time she saw him looking at her. It was ridiculous; Tifa knew that, she should be secure in the fact that the object of her affections hadn't rejected her outright. But the again… neither had she voiced those three little words that she coveted so dearly.

Sometimes, when she watched Aerith staring in the dark of the tent, trying to piece back together the reality she should belong to, Tifa wondered if those words would ever be said. It was like catching stars: a hopeful dream she clung onto.

Of course, she'd made all kinds of outrageous promises too, like trying to fill the life of the Ancient with romance. Romance! What did she know about wooing another woman, apart from what she knew she liked herself, and that which she had read in novels when growing up, novels of love and steamy heady affairs!

The shouting was finally abating after reaching a screeching fever pitch and she looked back to see the reason why: Vincent had simply transformed into a thing (_there was no name for it officially, as he reliably had informed the shaken group after the first change over_) of purple skin and spiked orange hair and was stood between the two arguers. They were both eyeing him warily, Yuffie going so far as to choke on the words of an apology.

That was better – some peace and quiet at last would do their group some good.

After a brief chat over the map, they agreed to let Vincent do the map reading and send Red ahead scouting, because his nose seemed far more accurate than any of their guesses had been to date. After a cold meal of last nights kill-on-the-hoof which again, had been provided by the very versatile fire wolf, they all crammed back into the car and for a moment, Tifa was glad that she was in the back with both the other girls in the company, Cloud and Barrett almost silent together in the front with Cait and Vincent poring over the map one seat ahead.

Sometime in the afternoon, she moved the snoring Yuffie so her shoulder wasn't going dead and tilted her head to try and see what it was that the Ancient was staring at. But she never once said, and even when Tifa tried to talk to her, she was silent like the grave, eyes distant.

Until they were around the campfire, significantly closer to the amazing town in the northern plains when she spoke suddenly, startling everyone, even Vincent who was normally so taciturn. She said, "It won't be long now."

Her voice sounded heartbroken.

Tifa didn't know what she meant and that night, like those nights when she didn't wake crying, she slept like the dead themselves.

------------------------------------------

_It won't be long now_.

The words haunted her that next week. She tossed their meaning around in her head, trying to figure out what it was that the sometimes reluctant flower merchant had meant by that cryptic sentence and just what an effect it could have on her life. But Tifa was no philosopher, nor versed in theological debate or debate of any kind really. So with practical reasoning, she put it aside and let the answer come when it would.

Instead, Aerith seemed to try and cheer herself up more than anything. The week on the road towards the town was spent with many surprise gifts left for the martial artist, in the forms of flower wreaths and daisy chains, little kisses when no one was watching and even at one time, she pushed Tifa into a lake of water and stood on the shore, laughing. When Tifa had angrily asked why she had done that, all the answers had been delivered with a quick look down. She still blushed, thinking about her poor shirt and the fact she was forced to wear Aerith's smaller jacket to cover the exposure of her skin through the wet and transparent material.

So Tifa reciprocated as best as she could, trying out her magic to create butterflies of fire to entertain the girl, but that had been quickly abandoned after it set Cloud's hair afire briefly, much to varied hoots and shouts anywhere and somewhere between derision and anger. She made Aerith's food extra special as she could make it, in fact, always ensured she cooked robust meals for the girl as her health seemed to suffer after so long on the road. She spent evenings watching the sunset and talking about the poems she loved that she had read and memorised, as if only ever for Aerith.

So on the evening approaching the town which they finally saw the monstrous structure of the Rocket that defined the northern border town, with the dilapidated machinery and structures that tried hard to hold the rocket in place from falling over and crushing the buildings and lives underneath it, that it came only as a small surprise that Aerith requested that they go walking together, under the spread of the night.

They walked close without touching, for Tifa could sense that for this night alone, Aerith was never more beyond her crippled grasp of fingers and hands stained deeply with blood. She walked with inhuman grace that with a heavy heart, the fighter knew she could never match; those brilliant eyes fixed high on the distant stars and with bent ear she listened to the voice of the Ancient speak.

"Tifa, I wanted to talk... kinda seriously, for a moment." She smiled, looking down at her despite her head tilted backwards a little. It was this smile which made her heart jump ten beats and flutter madly in the cage of her ribs, her blood running hot and cool all at the same time so she didn't know if she should coolly try and ask why or stay tongue tied, hoping... dreading the best, or the worst.

"You know I'm always here to talk to."

"I was thinking, we've come a very long way since Midgar. It's been almost three months now."

Tifa frowned and counted. True enough, they were hurtling towards the Christmas time, the seasons messing themselves all together no matter where they went so that she had lost track of time. "You're right."

"Three months, and I've come so far." She twirled, skirt flaring, "And so far to go. I was a bit scared of you, to start with."

"Me?" Tifa blinked.

"Of course. You're all practical, business like. You know where to go, what to do, how to plan. You're organised, I guess you have to be though, running a bar."

"Running a bar isn't just keeping things organised," she smiled. "You have to remember drink mixes so you don't look a fool in front of customers, leafing through cocktail cards in secret under the counter top. You have to know how to deal with drunks or loudmouth idiots or people who want to start a bar brawl. Brawl? Fair enough, do it outside because repairing the bar costs too much gil!"

Aerith laughed, silver, shivering laugh like stars falling, "So you know how to take care of yourself. But really, it worried me. I'm not... I mean, I'm rather weak."

"Not everyone has the same strengths. You do things with materia that make me so jealous! I can't even heal a bruise well enough." Tifa tucked her arms behind her head as she walked in the grass, trying to fight the blush from her face as she was overly conscious that her breasts were, to put it bluntly, sticking out. But it was Aerith, after all, and she knew the Ancient ached for someone to act normal around her. "Don't give up on what you can do. Okay?"

"I know, Teef." There was a breathless silence and Tifa risked a sidelong glance, trying to gauge the moment, but before anything could be added, the beautiful cetra continued to speak in her same calm, warm tone - it melted everything inside of her, made her feel so accepted and wanted that not for the first time, Tifa's heart fluttered restlessly. "Tifa... I've been meaning to ask..."

_Oh **my** god_.

Tifa swallowed hard, eyeing her as surreptitiously from the side as she could. A little voice in her ear taunted that Aerith should see the sweat rolling off her!

"...How did Zack look?"

_Oh..._

Her heart hit the bump in the road and withered out like a flat tyre; so she sighed and kicked at a clump of dirt, "Zack? He was alright. Lively I guess."

"If he was hurt then..."

"Probably. I don't remember, I passed out quickly afterward from blood loss myself. Sorry."

"That's right, you have that scar..."

Her hand caressed her breastbone, colour brightening her alabaster skin as she realised another set of fingers was reaching over to innocently trace the same line of scarring that puckered her flesh in memory of that day. The touch was so light that she was shivering by the time that the hand was removed. "Aerith," she said in a strangled voice.

"Sorry," then the Ancient was blushing too, putting a hand to her necklace and moving away, "I just wanted to touch it. I _wanted_ to..."

_Wanted to what?_

"You're getting more mysterious by the day," Tifa laughed, a strained laugh, strained through the sieve of her estranged emotions. "But that's okay, its part of who you are, how it all works and fits together, you know?"

"Tifa," The back was to her, the head tilted and once again studying the constellations. "One day, they'll name stars in the sky for us. They'll remember everything we fought hard for, you know? We'll be heroes! They'll make action figures, they'll paint pictures and tourist traps of everywhere we went, or stopped and slept. And that day, we'll look back and think, 'what a wonderful life', right?"

"Of course we will."

"Sephiroth... it was so _strange_. I felt like something in me had changed since that time at Costa del Sol, on the boat. I'm not a frightened girl anymore. I have to take responsibility. I have to because... _because_..."

"Rissy, you have become stronger." Tifa murmured, coming up behind the fragile girl to place her arms about her without hesitation and in doing so, clasped her closely. "Inside, where no one can see unless you let them in."

"I have?"

"I would place my life in your hands, without second thoughts, love."

"Teef..."

They remained there, Tifa trying to bury her heavy heart in the scent of Aerith's hair, the scent of summer mornings and flowers which always seemed to linger around the green fingered gardener; Aerith in turn staring at the far distant stars with her head still tilted but the telltale steal of her hand to clasp one of Tifa's was hard and tight, even for such a weak strength that the fighter lifted her brows in surprise. She knew that there were more things that the Ancient was trying to find the words to say, but none of those words would fit together right just yet.

But when the night grew cold and Tifa turned to go, she paused briefly to eye the figure of the girl, still stood stock still against the chill wind, jacket and dress rippling and her eyes fixed on the distant skies, and she could swear she heard her murmur, "_Not long at all really_..."

------------------------------------------

They made the town the next day, much to Aerith's squeals of delight, running ahead of them all and tilting her head in childlike glee at the massive monolith that was an old rocket, tilted to the back of the town which had no doubt, sprung up around it some time distant. The logo, even at this distance it was readable as ShinRa, indicated that it was their property. She paused in her examination of this strange wonder to lower her gaze and look back to where Tifa, having also spotted the logo, was scowling darkly.

She felt a little sick, to be honest with herself and the Planet.

Last night, all she did was worry and worry: hadn't she said that she was alright with all the consequences that might happen? But looking back at the drawn face of Tifa, the sometimes panicked expression of Cloud when she stared into the distance, even the frankly worried look on the face of Barrett, she knew that she wasn't ready yet. It wasn't time just yet.

_**Are you worried?**_

_I am, very worried. I can't help it, Planet. I can't help my human failings or strengths as I would consider them_.

**_Strengths, child. You combine all that is good of two races_**.

_Child, child... when will I be an adult? I have a name too..._

**_You are a child yet, until otherwise proven. Do not worry; the time is some way distant yet. Do not fret; your battle is a simple one that only you may achieve. You already know that you must do it alone._**

_I know but..._

_**Have fun - be aware though, the ones who pursue you are close.**_

_The ShinRa? ...Planet? Planet? Hello, hello?_

She gave an aggravated sigh and looked back to where Cloud was running a hand into his blond hair and grumbling away to himself, like some old man would: "A rusty old rocket, I wonder what they'd make something that big for."

"Show. _Clearly_." Vincent's voice dripped sarcasm, without being raised a single wet note above bone dry. Red snorted as Cloud didn't even respond to what had been a purely rhetorical question on his part and started to amble into town. Without a word and a shrug of her shoulders, Aerith slipped in line, next to Vincent and Yuffie.

"Not a fan of jokes, today. Wonder if he's grumpy 'cause he slept on a rock." Yuffie muttered.

"Yuffie, he's not grumpy."

"Of course he isn't. Bears with sore teeth are more hospitable. Anyway," she lifted a hand, "I'm off to st-er-scout the area. Yes, scout it."

Vincent coolly arched an eyebrow as the ninja vanished with a bare 'Aerith-sama' for the Cetra - not a glance sideways for anyone else mind. His red eyes travelled to her, as Tifa pulled up alongside. "Is she always this..."

"Loud? Annoying? Bratty?" Tifa tried supplying helpfully.

"..."

"Guys, give her a break," the flower girl sighed, "Don't judge her; you don't even know her that well."

"To err is human, to forgive... someone else's job," Vincent dustily murmured. Aerith threw her hands up in abject defeat and followed Cloud as he made a beeline for a house that looked as though half a scrap yard had decided to nestle in the back garden and around the front flower beds: pipes and propellers, even engine bits and tanks strewn all over. She eyed the vague thrusting try of flowers in the contaminated dirt as Tifa and Barrett, after a quick consultation with her, made for the shop to restock. Red and Vincent stopped by her.

The flowers were a pale red with a faint bluish tinge towards the base of the petals and on the stamen. She reached out with a hand and murmured the threads of magic coming to her hands easily. The murmur, she didn't realise, sounded much like a soft, short melody to those listening - as much of the Cetra tongue tended to sound like to human ears, pitched differently for the Planet and singsong, to convey emotions clearly. The flowers and foliage responded to her encouraging caress of magic, from root to the tip of a leaf. They burst forth suddenly with new, stronger growth, flowers blooming in a sudden flourish of a colour and rage of pollen, sweet scents filling the air.

She studied her handiwork, and then drew back with a pleased expression, catching the look of both Vincent and Red. "...what?"

"You really are something," Red said, shaking his head and licking his muzzle, trying to dislodge the pollen gathered there. "You're always handing out."

"They were struggling. I don't like to see things suffer," she replied, straightening the bow in her hair. "No one should have to suffer, not ever. If my magic helps even just a little, then I'll use it."

"The magic though, you realise it is nothing like what Sephiroth lays claim to?" Her eyes flickered to Vincent, but his expression gave nothing away.

As she tried to consider her answer, the door to the house was thrust open and Cloud came out, looking vexed. Vexed would be a mild word for those adept as she at reading his facial twitches that often accompanied outright irritation and anger. He ran a hand through his hair again, definitely agitated about something. It was a moment of silence later that he realised he was being stared at. "...There's a plane, but we need permission from some Captain guy."

"And he is where?" Vincent, thankfully, had changed his focus to Cloud with the question and she brushed at her brow without thinking about it - he made her feel so strangely on edge!

"He's in that rocket. It gets worse, ShinRa are coming here."

"Oh," she said, voice running away with itself, "The Planet mentioned something about pursuers."

"When!"

"Not long ago... so they must be pretty close."

"How come the Planet didn't warn us about the other times?"

Aerith shook her head, all eyes on her, "I don't know. Sephiroth seems to fudge my connection with the Planet, like he's talking louder than I can and all he says is gibberish. That's the best as I can explain it. It seems to frighten the Planet, him talking over me."

"It would make sense," Red concurred, at least someone was on her side. "Sephiroth and Jenova - the calamity from the skies. The virus that infected the people who had come to care for the world... it probably cries out with fear because it is afraid you will go too and it will have no one left to speak with. Even a Planet is allowed to be lonely."

"...Does it really ever get lonely? More conjecture," Vincent rasped, "Besides. If ShinRa are coming here, lets go get the plane before they do."

As a group of three they set off towards the rocket: Red, being of four legs, stayed behind. He had sharp eyes and could already see that a ladder was going to pose him problems on the way up, especially a metallic ladder. So in a knot together they walked; Cloud trying to ease his anger by talking to Aerith about what new materia she'd like to use and Vincent listening, nothing more. It grew to be companionable after ten minutes, even Vincent started to add his own advice to the melting pot of ideas behind the kind of materia that Aerith, as their main magic user, should consider using. It was so, that they approached the rocket and stood at the base, talking amongst themselves for a short while. Then, with hands on her hips, the flower girl demanded the men go up first so none of them would have any reason to peek up her skirt.

Vincent said nothing and went up.

Cloud followed, stammering and very, very red in the face. She noticed his hands shook as much as his voice.

Giggling, Aerith followed the two up and to the platform, where hands of the ex-Turk helped her to her feet as Cloud seemed to be completely overcome by a ravaging fit of shyness. Then, with a gentle poke to his ribs that made him squeal, they knocked politely on the half open door into the rocket and went inside.

"Hello?" Cloud called.

A man in a strange outfit turned and fixed them all with a glare that could have been chiselled from blue ice. His features were strong, but with a faint rough, unfinished look to them. His jaw peppered with stubble that looked as though he was the sort to need to shave twice a day to look remotely tidy. Hair the colour of gold was spiked up and swept away by use of a set of pilot goggles where what looked to be a packet of cigarettes was jammed. His smile was cocky and sure enough, another 'smoke' hung out of his mouth, blowing smoke everywhere. He wore a pilot's outfit with a stitch where a logo had been ripped from one shoulder. "What're you guys doing in here?" He demanded.

"We heard the Captain was here."

He grinned and thumped his chest, "Captain? I'm the Captain! The name's Cid, though everyone just calls me Captain. What dya want?"

Cloud glanced at them and Aerith leaned forward, suggesting gently, "Ask about the rocket? He seems pretty into it."

"Alright," he shot back, and then cleared his throat to ask, "Tell me about this rocket?"

He laughed, "Wow! Not bad for a kid. Alright then, I'll explain it to you. You know Shinra developed a lot of technological gadgets during the meaningless war, right?" They all nodded and he swept on, "Now it's a Mako company, but in the old days it was a weapons manufacturer. Well, they came up with a Rocket Engine. There was so much experiment about the thought of going into outer space. Our dreams got bigger and bigger. They put a major budget into it and made prototype after prototype!" He gestured at it, proudly, "Finally, they completed Shinra No. 26. They chose the best pilot in Shinra-- no, in the world-- me. I mean, come on. And finally we get to the day of the launch. Everything was goin' well... But, because of that dumb-ass Shera, the launch got messed up."

He scowled and kicked the side of the rocket, "That's why they become so anal! And so, Shinra nixed their outer space exploration plans. After they told me how the future was Space Exploration and got my damn hopes up... **_DAMN THEM_**! Then, it was all over once they found out Mako energy was profitable. They didn't even so much as look at space exploration. Money, moola, dinero! My dream was just a financial number for them! Look at this rusted Rocket. I was supposed to be the first man in space with this. Everyday, it tilts a little bit more. At this rate, I don't know which will come first, this thing falling down or me gettin' outta here. My last hope is to talk to the President..."

With a sigh, Cid turned from them and cupped his face over with a hand.

Aerith tugged on Cloud's sleeve just as he opened his mouth, and then winced as he went right on: much like an inevitable stream just rolling downhill. Unstoppable. "Is Rufus coming?"

Cid peered blearily over his shoulder, "Yeah, it must be the news about restarting the Space Programme. A young President, That's what we needed. He has dreams too, still!"

Cloud looked like he had eaten something sour, Aerith glancing at Vincent who showed no emotion. She turned her face away because she honestly felt the same, and sorry for Cid, stuck here with his dreams all dust. Cloud continued: "Can we borrow the Tiny Bronco?"

"What the fuck? You outta your mind? That's my most cherished possession; I can't let you take it." He shook his head and turned back to what he was working on.

Cloud made to try and say something else, clearly unsatisfied with the answer but Vincent stepped in and hauled him away. Aerith followed the two, despite a formless growl of choked frustration from Cloud's throat. "Don't, Strife," suggested the cold man.

"We need that plane."

"It's alright Cloud," she soothed, along with Vincent, honey tones to his ice clad ones, "We'll figure something out. We always do, right?"

Even so, she couldn't help that bite of despair either...

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Tifa came into the house, pocketing a materia slyly and then blinking at the sight of Aerith, Cloud, Red and Vincent all squashed around a table, staring at the figure of a fat man who jumped around the sink and a mousy looking woman in a lab coat. "Uh?"

"Tifa, you took your time." Cloud muttered. "Come and have some tea."

"It's really good," Aerith added, offering the very same cup she'd been drinking from, so sweetly that there was no way unless hell froze over and didn't inform her about it, that she could refuse. So she slid across and crouched down by Aerith's chair, taking the cup with numb fingers from the chill of winter.

Sipping it - it was fantastic tea! - She peered at the fat man. Then with a fumble she almost dropped the cup, standing upright with a tea soaked hand and a throbbing pain on her thigh from where she scalded the skin in her haste. "That's ShinRa's Palmer," she hissed, rounding on Cloud. "What's he doing here?"

"Restarting the space programme, supposedly."

"Space programme? Oh, don't tell me. I'll find out eventually... but..." she paused, hearing a ruckus from the front and as one, Avalanche new and old, surged to the window, the other members coming out of the sitting room where they'd been playing cards to pass the time (_Yuffie had been cheating Barrett from his money outrageously again, despite Cait's cheery warnings otherwise_).

Through the windows, they could see the figure of the pilot arguing with no one other than the 'strawberry blond' President Rufus. _Ginger_, Tifa candidly admitted, _he was ginger in denial_. She leaned close to the window, pressing on the nondescript curtains to try and hear what was being said between the two who argued so voraciously.

"What the... you... got me all excited for nothing!" The pilot seemed beyond furious, his face escalating from red to purple. "Then what'd ya come here for!"

Rufus flicked casually at his hair then studied his nails, eyeing the captain over them slyly, "I want to borrow the Tiny Bronco. We're going after Sephiroth. But seems like we've been going in the wrong direction. But now, we think we know where he's headed. But, we have to cross the ocean. That's why we want your plane..."

This only served to make the Captain angrier and he spat, literally, spat a huge globule of something that Tifa most certainly didn't want to try and identify towards the President: "**Fuck!** First the Airship, then the Rocket, and now, the Tiny Bronco. Shinra took outer space away from me and now you want to take the **sky** away from me too!"

"Oh my... You seem to forget it was because of Shinra, Inc. that you were able to fly in the first place."

"_**What**_?"

A touch on her shoulder made her turn around, to see the back door shutting. Shera was stood shyly behind them, leaving the raging of the two men outside to its own devices. The assistant, definitely mousy and completely shy in her posture, looked at them, and then seemed to settle on looking at Aerith, someone she likely deemed as the least threatening of their group - assured too by the sweet and warm smile that made people so attached to the girl. "Um... excuse me? You wanted to use the Tiny Bronco? I believe Palmer's going to take it... why don't you talk... ah!"

Before she could finish, they were all hurrying out into the backyard where Palmer was stood before the plane, eyeing it up and tilting his head, jowls wobbling. Cait closed the door behind him, to try and shield Shera's eyes from any incipient violence. Tifa wished she could bundle Aerith inside to do the same - but knew such an action would be completely useless against an expert materia user... not to mention escape artist when faced with the Turks...

Palmer was whining to himself in a tone that seemed to just set her teeth to grinding, as she checked the straps of her heavily armoured gauntlets, "Hmmm... why do I have to do this...? I'm the head of the Space Programme!"

"We'll be taking that Tiny Bronco."

Palmer turned slowly around, gulping slowly, his eyes as large as his belly in his face, showing white all around the iris. "I've seen you somewhere before... I know! The Shinra building! When the President was killed! Ulp! Se... se... security!"

The gun moved from that jacket quicker than Tifa would have given it credit and the first blow took Barrett completely by surprise, knocking him backwards and out over the fence, white picket, which surrounded the large back yard. Everything seemed to flow together, her pulse picking up as it often did during any battle.

Cloud charged in, swinging his sword wide, the fat man dancing aside with shocking nimbleness so he went slicing with a furrow through the ground and to the other side of him. This gave Tifa just enough opportunity to rush him from the easterly side, her foot ploughing into his back with force: this pushed him from his feet and over Red who barrelled into his legs. He went down with the resounding of a tonne of bricks. On the sidelines, quick as she could, Aerith murmured the words for the spell to protect them - a raised aura that glowed blue on her skin alerting her to the fact that the spell had taken hold on at least three of them.

Palmer fired off several more shots. Tifa dodged two, but one struck Yuffie hard in the thigh. She screamed out in pain and went down, shuriken tumbling end over end to get in the way at least of another bullet that had been zinging through the air for Red. As the fire wolf yelped and dove from the way, Vincent swooped down, tucked Yuffie under an arm and dodged back from the fight whilst firing off three rounds of his own. Only one hit the dancing mark, in the vast expanse of his backside which he was mockingly flashing. Palmer yowled in agony and waved his hands.

Tifa was thrown back by the wall of flame that made the ground under her feet hot suddenly and with a panic rising, she was suddenly unable to move. Fire... everywhere there was fire... It burned in her brain...

She was lost.

As she stumbled away, holding her chest, Barrett was up and firing back at Palmer, enough to throw him off balance for Aerith's hold spell to take effect. Cait rushed in, taking several bullet holes to his stuffed body and with a heavy hit, knocked Palmer back from his feet and into the oncoming thwack of Cloud's large sword, sending him flying onto the dirt path, gun knocked away from his hand and lying redundant.

Dimly, she heard a screech of tyres and the sobbing of Yuffie as Vincent grated out the need for medical assistance. But as Aerith got close, she pointed in horror. "Look, its going!"

Sure enough, the Tiny Bronco was stuttering along the ground with little hops, the propeller working just fine. Tifa gawked, the fear of the flames fading quickly as she flashed a glance to the others. Cloud, torn for a moment, snarled and yelled, "No time for medics, get on, everyone!"

Tifa dashed to take a hold of Red, seeing as he didn't even have hands to help him onto the plane wing and with help from Cait's strength, they bundled the disgruntled fire wolf aboard. He promised many an evil death for such a careless act which had first left him in an undignified position on his back, sprawled helplessly. Tifa crawled up, as did Cloud who hurried made room for Yuffie and Vincent. Vincent, showing surprising knowledge - or perhaps not so surprising with knowledge of his past profession - took the pilot's seat and started to steer the aimless plane that was trying to mow down the fence. Aerith hurried across and with Barrett, they both grabbed onto the plane. Cait gave the flower girl a boost, and then hung his mostly weightless body on the tail.

Then, before they knew it, it was away and going. It stuttered quite a few times, but when it was airborne, it was an experience that Tifa revelled in. She glanced across to where Aerith was and saw wonder etched into her glorious, shining features and with delight, smiled when she was graced with a smile in turn. Then, she was forced to grab onto the moulding as the plane veered sharply to the right.

"Let's get that pilot," shouted Barrett.

"..." The ex-Turk swung the plane around and it swooped down over the town; enough to see the ShinRa employees staring up and the face of the President, taut with tension and anger. The Pilot, Cid, was staring up with amusement and as the plane scooped past, Cloud reached down and grabbed his hand, hauling him on.

_But nothing is ever plane-sailing_, Tifa thought, _minding the pun..._

The shouts of the President caught the wind and she called for them to duck not one moment too soon as shots rang out all around them. They couldn't hit a barn door at ten paces, normally... but one soldier, on this one occasion, got very lucky and hit the tail of the plane. Tifa yelled out for Cait to try and douse the flames but they were falling, into the far distant water with the cries of emergency landing from Cid...

Then they crashed into the water, and it all went dark.

-------------------------------------

_Water...?_

_Water!_

She struggled violently: it felt as she would never breathe again, she would fall down, or maybe fly away and be lost. Be lost forever to the eyes of those she loved, the world she loved, the life she loved with a passion. She flailed at the water, trying to drag leaden limbs into the water when she cast her frightened eyes to the side and saw the equally leaden figure of Tifa sinking quickly. She was limp and her hair floated in a ghastly net.

_Teef! Teef, no!_

Struggling on, she would struggle on, like her beloved flowers: she would try.

With awkward strokes and dying lungs, she caught the fingers of the fighter after a precarious few moments and turned her to see the slack, unmoving face of the fighter. She knew in that moment, that Tifa was drowning and would die if she didn't do anything. So she clasped the hand harder and pointed down below her, hoping her insane idea would work.

_Planet. Aid me!_

The wind was born.

It had never been borne in the water before, the water was a stranger to its airy ways, but soon it bubbled, quickly bubbled up and up until it caught the two dying girls and with a great whoosh of air, ejected them to the surface, somewhere very close to the shore. With a gasp she couldn't contain, Aerith sucked air in greedily and glanced about wildly for any sign of the plane, but there was nothing, only purple-black water in the moonless night, the stars and the shore which she pulled the deadweight Tifa towards. After a hard slog, she pulled Tifa onto the shore and collapsed on her knees beside her.

_She isn't breathing_.

Like she had seen a man do at the beach at Costa del Sol, she leaned over the limp body of the fighter and pressed her ear to the still chest. Then unlike the man, she spun the magic from her curative materia as deftly as someone would write a poem, bake a cake, laugh... It was all the same as breathing to Aerith. Then, dripping hair and sniffles from the cold water aside, she leaned over and tilted Tifa's head back to clear the airway and with a slight breath, blew into her lungs whilst pressing her magic down above the breastbone. It seemed to take an eternity, and in all honesty, kissing Tifa to give her life wasn't all that much of a chore... not a chore at all, to be fair...

Then Tifa was coughing and Aerith helped turn her on her side, rubbing encouragingly to get the water out of her lungs. With a deft flick of her hand, she summoned the will to burn fire in the very sand without fuel, sustaining it on her spirit alone and directed it so it rested close by the shivering, coughing martial artist.

"Rissy?" Tifa cried weakly.

And with a relived smile, she brushed hair from the pale face, "Right here."

"Where is everyone else? Why do my lungs hurt?"

The memory was fuzzy, but she knew the plane had crashed into the water, likely stunning the two girls - but the fear of drowning in the water from that dream had galvanised Aerith into waking action, whereas Tifa had just lay there limp. She related this in calm tones, adding, "Because you were dying."

"Dying?"

"Drowning... you weren't awake. The natural reflex is to breathe and when you've been stunned, instinct overrides reasonable thought. Your body doesn't tell you 'I might drown', you simply do the most natural thing and that is to breathe. I'm just glad I wasn't tired enough that I could swim and get you."

Then Tifa was laughing, laughing in the way of someone gripped by hysterics. "My hero!"

"Hero?" Aerith went a shade of red, "Stop teasing and get dry. I'm going to look for the plane, so stay here, alright?"

"I'll go-"

"No, you almost drowned." Aerith stood up, "For me, stay and rest, please?"

The wine dark eyes pleaded silently, but she firmed her jaw in response until Tifa sighed and lay back down in the wet sand, arms above her head, "Fine. I can never win against you anyway. Love must mean learning to lose an argument once in a while. Don't be long..."

"I won't be. I'll be back."

She started down the line of the beach, hair whipping in the chill winds of the night and some way along, she glanced back at Tifa and her fire, the glow on the face of sorrow's beauty and her heart clenched helplessly, a spasm in her chest with inexplicable fear. And sadly, she touched her necklace and murmured as tears slid down her cheeks, "Its _close_. So it won't be long at all, Teef. Not long at all, _really_..."

...and weeping, like the haunted ghost, she wandered alone under the stars in search of others...


	17. Chapter 17

_(( A/N: I HAVE KH2 - two weeks before anyone in the UK. Go promo releases! Yes, when it's completed and I fully understand it all, there will be a KH2 fic :) ))_

**17: Promises You Intend to Break**

_This is the story of a girl  
__Who cried a river and drowned the whole world  
__And while she looks so sad in photographs  
__I absolutely love her  
__When she smiles_

_How many days in a year  
__She woke up with hope but she only found tears  
__I can be so insincere,  
__Making the promises never for real  
__As long as she stands there waiting  
__Wearing the holes in the soles of her shoes  
__How many days disappear?  
__When you look in the mirror so how do you choose?  
_- Story of a Girl - Three Doors Down

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They found them curled on the shore with the light of dawn, where Tifa slept soundly and she curled hands to cover her eyes, gummed with salt from tears she had kept to herself so selfishly, so jealously, guarding the fears in her iron willed heart. They'd come over to offer as much assistance as they could, waking up the sleeping fist fighter who was just getting the energy up to cough, coughing up residue from her lungs that she had breathed in when drowning, falling and sinking away from the tender grasp of the Ancient's fingers.

Cloud wrapped her in a blanket as Yuffie, holding a materia she used almost as well as Aerith _(but not quite with the same masterful flair)_ tried to heal up the dredges of any wounds that she may have missed with her ancient magic. So Tifa curled and slept in weak sickness on the wing of the plane which they had suddenly decided to try using as a boat to surprising efficiency, leaving just enough room for them on the wings of it. But their journey was to a shore close by the village of Gongaga where they could purchase healing supplies. Each day that passed, Tifa's cough grew worse and she slept more, feverish with sickness.

Aerith knew without speaking, because words would only get in the way, that the wound which Tifa laboured under was a wound to her soul from the experience of almost dying, a wound that she couldn't heal - she, the _master healer_! It was a wound that only time could take away. So between short trips where she would hold onto Tifa's body and wonder how she had ever considered her physically intimidating, lying there so still and so vulnerable with only the Ancient as her lifeline, she cajoled the waking Tifa into trying to take joy from the world.

It was a small success each time a smile curved the pretty lips and touched dark eyes, frightening away the haunting memory of water that she felt kinship with the fighter for having. It haunted her too of course, but her concern for Tifa drove away all her childish fears. Each night, when Tifa lay sleeping peacefully, face turned towards her in her lap and arms curled about the only blanket that hadn't been burned horribly by the plane hitting the water and the oil fire it had caused, Cloud would sit with them and talk quietly about Tifa's condition. It was from these talks that she gleaned that once upon a time, Cloud had loved Tifa desperately and with a lost feeling in her heart, she wondered if those feelings were returned. But then when his hand briefly brushed the back of hers, she knew she was back into the corner between Cloud and Tifa's affections, both strong.

All she could feel was lost.

Then the night after she woke from a terrible dream, sometime around midnight, she realised that the hand stroking her hair was none other than that of Tifa's. The girl looked wan and sickly in the moonlight, her cheeks a little hollow and a gloved hand covered her mouth to capture the wrenching cough that sounded wet, too horribly wet for words. She didn't move her head from the spot where it was on her curled up jacket which acted as a rather lumpy pillow, her face smooth but tears spilling down her cheeks and nose, at the tilted angle of slumber.

"You were having a bad dream," Tifa said softly so her voice wouldn't carry and alert the others, camped as they were outside Gongaga after several days of endless seeming travel. "It's okay, I'm here."

"You should be asleep," she whispered back, concern filtering into her voice again. Tifa only smiled back, lowering hand from mouth to rest by her cheek.

"I know. But I somehow knew you were frightened, so I woke up."

"You knew?"

"Just, like lightning. Bam. It woke me right up. You know, you don't have to be frightened when I'm around." Then came more rounds of coughing and she reached out and gripped the hand on her cheek tightly. When they calmed, she brushed her mouth and smiled, "It'll pass. I just need to sleep after seeing a doctor, I'm sure there's one where we're going."

"I can't understand why my magic won't fix it. I'm not much of a healer, eh? I'm sorry Tifa, I should have been there quicker."

"Hey, it's okay. I'm amazed you managed it in that dress and those boots. But... can I ask what you dreamed about?"

"Oh...that is... that's right," She sat up, much to Tifa's alarm as she sluggishly tried to rise in vain after her. Her eyes looked around, catching the gaze of the others awake by the fire, pretty much everyone apart from Yuffie who was in a hunched over heap, face to the ground and backside in the air, snoring softly. "I had an answer."

Cloud blinked from his daze and lifted his voice just a little, against the oppression of the black velvet night, everyone listening quietly, "An answer, Aerith?"

"Yes. I asked the Planet... what to do, after the ShinRa found us. It told me, in my sleep. There should be a temple, the Ancient's Temple, somewhere to the south, I can navigate us there, and the Planet will call me." She looked down, "It said, someone who wishes great harm to the Planet is already there."

"Great harm? Sephiroth, it must be." He stood up, "Then we'd best go."

"It's not that simple!"

They stopped, Barrett already rising to break camp and eyes trained back to her, so intent that she found herself blushing vibrantly, glad of the cover which shadows granted.

"I mean," She said softly, "There's a key to getting into the temple. It used to be around the temple but an explorer took it away, but the Planet says it's close by."

"How close by?" Vincent asked just as softly.

"It said... it lies in the castle of the clouds."

"Castle of the Clouds?" Cloud frowned as Barrett gave a groan and sat down again, "...A floating island?"

"Don't know about that," Vincent said softly, "But the only castle in the clouds I can think of is the Gold Saucer."

"Are you serious? We have to go back there!" Barrett really groaned this time and Yuffie kicked with a snort in the throes of her sleep, jerking herself awake with a muffled noise. Cloud looked upset and glanced towards her, "No mistaking it?"

Aerith shook her head, "Sorry guys."

"Don't be sorry, Aerith," Tifa laid a hand on her shoulder, half using her to stay upright, "Besides, the Gold Saucer has medical supplies and soft, fluffy beds to stay in, not to mention that we can see more of the sights and not get kicked out into a desert prison full of degenerate inmates this time."

"Yo, Tifa, you didn't have t'look at me when ya said that!" Barrett gruffly huffed, much to the gentle murmur of laughter that rippled about the group. He turned his back and laid down once more in his own slightly spotty blankets. "Sheesh. Mister Leader, get a plan sorted, awright? Night."

"A plan? Not like it's difficult. We go to the Gold Saucer, and find this key to the temple, and then go face down Sephiroth." Cloud rubbed a hand into his hair, "but first we'd better sleep. North Corel is a good day's walk. Vincent, wake me for last watch."

The dark man nodded and returned to his strange upright way of sleeping, back to a rock, as though alert even in slumber for danger. Cloud glanced at him then shivered and turned his blue gaze in Aerith's direction, making colour bloom in her cheeks again, for the look was decidedly more than what friendship would warrant. Looking away, she eased Tifa back into lying down and then lay beside her. Without volition, she glanced to the face of the woman called most ironically, Lockhart and was surprised to see her looking back.

"Aerith, I have to ask something. What isn't long?"

"Hmm?"

"You keep murmuring that something won't be long. What won't be long?"

Aerith smiled, because it seemed the natural thing to do, "Until we face Sephiroth all together. Not long at all."

"Oh," Tifa turned this over in her mind for a moment, then Aerith was greeted with a smile much like hers, warm and trusting, flowing right back to her. "Makes sense. I can't wait," she yawned and snuggled down, cheek on a hand and eyes closing sleepily, "I have _so_ much of the world to show you... you'll..._love_ it..."

Wordlessly, Aerith turned her back on the soft breathing of the sleeping figure and bit her lip hard enough to bring blood to the surface, but the tears came this time with the ache in her chest. Hiding it from the world, she silently wept out her lonely pain into the night and hoped tomorrow would be different...

--------------------------------------------

_The shore sparkled._

_She stood, shoulder to shoulder with two people, holding their hands gently but firmly, tightly even, afraid to let go, afraid because they might vanish. They gripped back just as tightly, wordless to the song she knew she should be singing, through lips frozen with doubt and with fear._

_Beyond them, water as green as the sea shimmered and waved, full of life, full of knowledge and of beauty, the sheer joy of every life contained within it - be it the cries of a newborn child, the love of a mature heart or the first steps of friendship, the innocence or the pleasure, it was alive with it._

_So she smiled, because it was beautiful._

_The woman who stood to her left, whispered; "You promised me."_

_The man who stood to her right, also whispered; "I don't make promises lightly, you know that."_

_And all she knew to say was, "It was something I had to do. How can I explain it?"_

_"I love you," they both said together and she looked, from the familiar face of Tifa to the face of Cloud, each one dear and each one engraved on her heart and soul forever. But they didn't look down at her; instead they looked across the water._

_So she removed her hands from theirs and began to walk slowly into the flowing essence of everything that ever is, or was, or could be, drawing her down into the depths of eternity. Behind her, she heard a cry and turned. Tifa pushed Cloud from the way and came running towards her, arms open._

_But she fell through her, into the water._

_"I would give it all up, you know," she said calmly, as Tifa dragged herself, sobbing, up from the clinging water. "All of it. Because... neither of you would ever ask it of me. I know it. But I know this as much as I know the sun must rise each day, as much as laughter is the best medicine and that love goes on beyond death, I know this much... that I must go. And you must stay."_

_"But, I love you!"_

_And with tears that glinted like the mystical, magical water, she smiled sadly, at them both and said, "I know."_

------------------------------------------------

They filed from the blue runway plane, Aerith scribbling away in her journal as Vincent steered her gently from tripping over kids that muddled around them, balloons in hands, hooting at the joy of the amusement park. She, in turn, leaned on Barrett and held in her heart the hope of being allowed to take some medicine soon enough, a good expectorant or the like would be heaven to her hurting lungs right about now! This time, having amassed a fair set of funds, Cloud gave up the money for a lifetime ticket, much to the shrieks of delight from the always excitable Yuffie, who proclaimed that she would use it until holes appeared in it. Cid and Red then remarked the holes would only be there via her stealing what used to be in place of the holes.

Always the same.

As they hurried inside, she gave a sigh coupled with a smile at seeing Aerith almost walk into a wall, saved at the last moment by Cait's soft and squishy body. She squeaked an apology and put away the diary sheepishly, after a stern look from the ex-Turk. Then she laughed and poked his arm gently, murmuring that he should lighten up - to Tifa's surprise, he almost managed to look... normal in that moment.

_Aerith's strange power. Opening up the hearts of those around her._

Gladly, she let herself be led away to the hotel which promised medical help. Aerith offered to go with them, but for once Tifa had to agree with Cloud...

"No, you have to go, you're the only Cetra. You'll find the key in no time at all." Tifa smiled, "Otherwise, Cloud would spend **all** his time and gil in the amusements."

"_Tifa_!" Cloud said indignantly.

"Oh you know it's true. I've seen you on arcade machines before. You'd spend everything you've ever earned to get a high score."

"Well this time is different."

"Exactly, Aerith is going with you and she'll keep an eye on your spending." She smirked just a little, catching his crestfallen look as she winked at the Ancient, who laughed into a hand with delight. "She's a good girl."

"You love destroying all my fun," he groaned.

"Fun, pfft, time for fun later, after you get the key."

"Tifa's right, we can play a bit later on."

"Not you too," Cloud groaned again, at Aerith who chuckled and tucked her arms behind her back, beaming a smile. "Alright, alright... we get the key first. Since when did you two start knowing me so well! Come on Aerith, Cait, let's grab it before I get another lecture from _Miss Lockhart_ here."

"**_Miss_**!" She replied in similar tones of affront, then she watched with a smile as Cloud stomped off, trying to pretend he was upset. Aerith waved a little before slipping into the tube after him, tugging the soft and expansive form of Cait along with her, so he didn't get stuck. She looked up, cheeks flushed, to the knowing gaze of Barrett. "...what?"

"Tifa, how long?"

"Er," she tried to feign puzzlement as they made their way to the hotel up the steps, "How long, what? How long is a piece of string? That's easy, twice as half its length."

"No, you know what I mean, how long you been in love with her?"

"B-Barrett..."

He grinned and hauled her up as she missed her step with surprise, "C'mon kid, you know me better than that. Sure, I might not be the brightest crayon in da box, but I'm always watchin' out fer ya, ya know? She's a nice girl, can see what appeals t'ya. Not that I'm judgin', ya know? Love is love. If you're happy, then I'm happy an' I'll break th' heads of anyone who argues, awright?"

She peered at him for a moment, then ducked her head with tears flooding to her eyes, arms gripping his massive one tightly, "_Barrett_!" she cried.

"Long enough, eh?"

"Since I met her, I think."

"She knows how you feel?"

She bit her lip and then smiled, almost feeling on the verge of a hysterical laugh, "Yes, she does know. She accepted me... I... love is wonderful, Barrett, and I'm in love!"

He chuckled and pushed open the hotel doors to a scream from inside the mock-spooky place that only managed a kind of camp effect instead, hovering on the outright cheesy. But his brown eyes when she looked up, they were warm; "Ain't that somethin', Teef."

-------------------------------------------------

It was some time before they came back, looking worn out, and sore and completely disgruntled. Tifa had made sure to check herself and Aerith into a double room, leaving Yuffie and Red paired up, Cid and Vincent, Barrett and Cait and lucky Cloud to have a single room to his self. Cid had been slightly verbose about sharing a room with a, _"god forsaken mother-fu& $! Vampire!"_ but once they'd explained that Cid's room was smoking he'd calmed down a little. Vincent, as per usual, hadn't twitched as much as an eyebrow through the entire exchange.

"Well," Cloud announced tiredly, "We got the Keystone. That's its name, apparently."

"And Cloud didn't once go into the arcade either," Aerith smiled, coming to sit by Tifa and stretch, "But wow, we did some serious walking to find it. Then..."

"Then a worker told us that the runway is broken."

"What?" Yuffie said suddenly, sitting up, "Broken **_how_**!"

Cait shrugged and started up the stairs to his room, "They didn't say, but it won't be working until tomorrow. Good thing y'all booked us in, but I know the manager here so we can stay for free."

"That saves us some gil at least," Tifa sighed.

"Did you get the medicine?" Aerith murmured, leaning to look at her face so intently that Tifa was forced to try hard not to blush. "And how do you feel?"

"Apart from a little tired, not bad. They had something for it, thankfully, but I need a good nights sleep for the full effects."

"Then we should go to bed. Seems like we all need the rest," the flower girl stood up, "Need a hand getting to your room?"

"Ah, we're bunking together, Aerith." Why did it feel so awkward, just telling her that they were sleeping in the same room? Alone. It hadn't been so much of a problem when she'd kept her growing desire and love to herself! Love, what a complicated and confusing emotion the world had ever known. "But, I can get there just fine."

"Alright, I'm going to study the keystone a bit first." She went to sit on the soft couch and put the green object in her lap. Tifa almost opened her mouth to say that she really did need help, at least to get to bed, then closed it just as quickly as Cloud touched Aerith's shoulder and moved upstairs, followed by the others to their respective beds. At a glance around, she curled an arm about her middle and started up the stairs.

Halfway up, she heard Aerith's soft, beautiful voice call, "Sweet dreams, Teef."

_If I am lucky enough to dream of you_.

She sighed and made her way to her room, closing the door behind her and looking at the 'spooky' decor as well as the two separate beds. Then with a smile, she just lay down on the edge of one, promising herself she'd stay awake until Aerith came upstairs, to give her a goodnight kiss, but sleep and her own ill body had other ideas and soon enough, she was out cold, dreaming of nothing at all.

--------------------------------------------

_I suppose if it's not long until I do your bidding, I must make good on at least one promise, Planet._

_**Which is?**_

_A date I promised Cloud a long time ago._

**_So there's a date for him and not one for Tifa?_**

_...when it's all over, I'll take her on a thousand dates, each one more meaningful than the last._

_**And who said romance was dead?**_

_It's not dead, just sleeping! Anyway... I'll think more about the Keystone later, alright? Just let me have a bit of time to be human, to be a girl of my age for once!_

_Please?_

_**Alright.**_

She smiled and knocked gently on the door to Cloud's room, greeted by a distant murmur of 'Come in'. Clutching the keystone, she pushed the door open and slid inside, putting the object down on the dresser by the door and making a quick mental note of the safety she was to leave it in, Cloud was stood at the end of the gothic furnished room, staring through the windows, but he turned to see who it was who entered, a smile spreading quickly across his face at the sight of her. "Aerith."

"Cloud, are you busy?"

"No," he shrugged; he'd left his armour off and looked almost normal without it, if it weren't for the bright glow of his mako eyes. Encouraged by her smile at this, he stepped closer to her and tilted his head, "Is something wrong?"

"No, not at all. I was just thinking," she tucked her hands behind her back, "I made a promise a long time ago to you, remember?"

"A promise?"

"_One_ date. Well, we're here, so... why don't we take it."

He flushed, looking breathless and nervous all at once, "A-aerith... with me? _Really_!"

"Yep, right now, come on. If you don't, I'll take it on my own."

"No, I'm coming!" He grabbed his gil packed wallet and hurried after her, opening the door so she could slip outside. He followed, locking the door behind himself and testing the handle. Then he slid his blue eyed gaze to her as they started down the stairs, "I know you left the keystone in there."

"I wanted just a night off, from being an Ancient."

"What do you mean?"

She laughed, touching the last step and dancing towards the door as if her steps were made from air, as if she was born to dance, an ethereal grace filling her motions. "Don't you think about it? You're always turning to me for help because I'm the Ancient, the magical Cetra being who can right all wrongs. Don't you think that's a bit oppressive? I'm still Aerith too, just a flower girl who met a soldier and set out to change the world. And still a girl, who wants to be taken on some dates now and then."

His face was filled with acknowledgement of her words so suddenly that she felt guilty, tongue tied and flustered. But she took his arm and led him with laughter touching her words, to the tube that led towards the main converging point for all other tubes, by the station. When they appeared at the other end someone approached them, a worker for the Saucer with a flyer in her hand. She looked tired, but forced a smile for them, Cloud looking a touch dizzy.

"Hello there, please enjoy a money free night at the Saucer, for its Enchantment Night!"

"Free? What great timing, right Cloud?"

"**Gah**," he glanced at his wallet, "I could have left that behind."

"Oh, what fun," she laughed and studied the flyer, "Hey, there's a play on."

"Hmm, you like theatre?"

"Well, sometimes, I always wanted to see _Loveless_ but never had the gil to get a ticket to it. But this looks fun, and it's free. Come on, Cloud, let your hair down for tonight. Let's have some fun!"

He smiled, "Do you take so much joy from everything?"

She countered, "Do you have to scowl about everything?"

Laughing he held his hands up in defeat and willingly followed her to the tube for the area where the play would be held, letting her go in first. She held in a smile; yes, he was so close to being fixed.

---------------------------------------------

"Oh Cloud, I can't _believe_ you kissed the King," she laughed into her candy floss helplessly.

Her date was red faced, trying hard to make it look like he hadn't misheard the whispered line from the actor who played the Wizard in the play, "It was a mistake. Stop laughing!"

"_Heehee_, but it was so funny, oh, the Gondola..."

"That's right, you like being up high... come on then, it's free."

She smiled a little, watching him hurry to the ticket booth to grab two tickets, following at a slower pace. The play had really been hilarious, what with his terribly acting and all the mistakes he'd made, but the night was young and the moon was high in the sky and the prospect of watching the world from high up, it was definitely enchanting. The woman at the booth smiled at them, Aerith's glance confirming that the smile was laden with envy for a couple able to go on a date on a night like this. But she just smiled back and hurried into the gondola, sitting down on the bench opposite from Cloud.

After a shaky start, it ponderously rose into the sky where the stars twinkled on the backdrop of the night, the moon brighter than she had imagined and much larger seeming at this height. The world played out below as the gondola passed by the sights and attractions that the Gold Saucer has to offer.

She murmured little words of excitement as they passed each one.

The chocobo racing, the squawk of birds and the cheers of excited people as bets were won or the sighs of those who lost and the flashing of colours and quickness as the birds sped past.

The plunging dive past the hotel where they were staying and the spooky graveyard with the tombstones and the high spires, where fake cobwebs clung all silhouetted in the night.

The expanse of the event square where another play was being performed, the voices of the actors rising up to meld with the music that reached to the sky from the amusement square.

Then a flutter of fireworks, bursting into life and blooming like the flowers in her garden, a rich dazzle of pinks and reds, yellows and blues and the verdant green then they faded as sparks of fire can only fade into the white of stars and she murmured breathlessly, "Oh Cloud, how pretty."

"I thought you'd like it."

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

She dragged her green gaze from the sights to stare at him, looking at her in turn with reverence and love, his smile slight but soft, genuine and somewhat scared, shy even. Aerith sat back, and folded her hands into her lap, with a laugh that tore towards melancholy. Then, without realising it, she was speaking quietly.

"At first, it really bothered me, how you looked exactly alike. Two completely different people, but they look exactly the same. The way you walk, gesture... I think I must have seen him again, in you. But... _you're_ different. Things are _different_..."

She struggled with tears and words, feeling him lean closer and take her hands as fireworks scattered outside, lighting their faces up and throwing relief over her tears that trickled down her cheeks. "Cloud... I'm searching for you."

"...?"

"I want to meet you."

"But...I'm right here."

How like him to say that! She laughed a little sadly, "I know, I know, but what I mean is... I want to meet... **you**..."

There was a shuffle and then in surprise, she found his lips pressed to hers with a flood of heat summoning itself to her cheeks. She neither pulled away nor pressed too much into it, enveloped in shock by his sudden manoeuvre. But when he pulled back, she covered her burning cheeks and panicked, never more feeling like she was stuck between a rock and a hard place, nicknamed Tifa and Cloud respectively.

"C-cloud..."

"Then I want you to find me."

"..."

"I know you will," he smiled and then shamefacedly picked candy floss from his front, where he'd squashed against her for the stolen kiss, "What a mess I made. And the ride's over."

"Oh... I was enjoying it."

"We can do it again?"

"No, we should try and sleep." She got out of the gondola, Cloud lending her a hand over the gap step, and together they strolled towards the station tube way point, he still picking at the hardening floss on his blue shirt and she, sure as ever, that he was bubbling with the need to say more, to do more, but repressing it.

Then as she came round the corner, instinct made her grab at Cloud's hand, who blushed and looked at her with surprise and a parting of his lips, pupils becoming larger. "Aerith?"

"Shh... hey, is that Cait Sith, what's he doing!"

It was: the giant stuffed mog was looking around shiftily, and then he produced the Keystone which he held to the light so it glinted brightly. Cloud stiffened, "Hey, that's the Keystone!"

The mog twitched and turned slowly to see them, as Cloud yelled his name angrily. With a wave of his hands in a panic, the Mog fled into a tube, with the Soldier on his heel. Aerith followed as best she could, slipping into the tube a heartbeat or seven after the two, until they came to the steps of the Chocobo Arena, all flashing lights and the sound of the betting music thumping from inside the raceway. Cait threw the stone without warning, a helicopter swooping down and a hand she recognised grasping it.

"Well done," Tseng muttered, his gaze crossing hers briefly.

She paused on the step, pressing hands to the fluttering in the pit of her belly, and then it flew away.

Cloud however, rounded on the stuffed mog, grabbing him by the collar. "What's the big idea!"

"H-hey... **wait**! I won't run or hide. Yes I was a spy; I was hired by the ShinRa."

Aerith glanced at Cloud who held onto the mog with murderous anger, then ducked her head sadly, whispering, "I can't believe it, I _trusted_ you."

"I couldn't help it," the mog continued in his northern accent, "How bout we continue like nothing ever happened?"

"No way, cat," Cloud spat, "You gotta lot of guts acting like a friend but being a spy."

"Then, what are you goin' to do? Kill me? You'd just be wastin' your time if you tried. This body's just a toy anyway. My real body's at Shinra Headquarters in Midgar. I'm controllin' this toy cat from there."

"So," she said finally, "You're from ShinRa! Who are you, _tell me_!"

Cait looked to her, was it a very wary glance? "Woah, I **can't** tell you my name."

"We're not getting anywhere," Cloud let go.

"See? I told you! Talking won't do any good, so can't we just continue our journey?"

"You think I'm _jokin_'?"

"...Alright, yes, I am a ShinRa employee. But we're not entirely enemies. ...Something bothers me. I think it's your way of life. You don't get paid. You don't get praised. Yet, you still risk your lives and continue on your journey. Seeing that makes me... It just makes me think about my life. I don't think I'd feel too good if things ended the way they are now."

"...and so on," she murmured.

Cloud took her hand and looked with complete disgust at the mog, then spoke to her, trying to reason oddly, as if her compassion would step in the way; "He'll never tell the truth. Once a spy, always a spy. We can't go on with someone like that. C'mon get real!"

Cait's gaze narrowed and he turned his megaphone over, pressing a few switches. "...just as I thought. Talking won't make a bit of difference. But I prepared something in case this happened. Why don't you listen to this?"

"Papa! Tifa!"

Aerith's eyes widened, "That's Marlene!"

"Hey, it's the flower lady, flower lady!" Then it was cut short. Cait looked at them both sternly.

"...so you have to do as I say."

Cloud released her hand, revulsion replacing disgust, "You're the lowest."

"I didn't want to do this... using dirty tricks and taking hostages... But this is how it is... no compromises. So why don't we continue on as we did? Oh, you didn't seem to know this, but... The Keystone is the key to the Temple of the Ancients. Even so, you're all going, right? I know where it is, so I'll show you later. The ShinRa have already been there, but I guess you have to deal with that." And so saying, he left, walking back to the tube for the hotel.

Aerith turned to Cloud, taking his hand to try and calm the frustration rising in him, frightened just a little at the forcefulness of it. "Cloud."

"Well, we're stuck. We have to do what he says."

"I wonder if Marlene is alright... ...I wonder what happened to Mom," she sighed, and let Cloud lead her back to her room, dismal thoughts choking what had been a pleasant night as fireworks continued to die overhead.

-----------------------------------------

Tifa looked from face to face as Cloud came down the stairs, pondering on why Aerith's face looked so strained, but after being told the news that Cait was a spy, she could understand why the trust was broke for the Ancient who tried to trust with her entire heart and soul.

But a splintering thorn in her heart needled, that jealousy ugly that Aerith had been on a date with Cloud. With _Cloud_. _Cloud, **Cloud**_, _fluffikins_ himself, spikey haired **jerk**... **no!** Bad anger...

_I wish it'd calm down. It was **just** a date, nothing happened. If I'd been well enough, I would have taken her on one_.

Instead of looking ashamed, the spy himself, sat quite comfortably, speaking up in his accent so it drew all angry eyes. "What took you so long, Cloud? Oh yeah, about the Temple of the Ancients. I think if we take the Tiny Bronco East towards the sea, we should be able to find it. Well then, shall we get goin'? Who's gonna go?"

Aerith lifted a wavering hand, "I'm going for sure."

_The natural choice_.

Then she lifted her hand. This way, there'd be no chance for funny business of Cloud muscling in on her territory. A simply genius plan that made her smile, "I'll go too."

"Tifa," Aerith said softly.

"I'm all better now, after all. Time I started helping out."

"It's settled then," Cait said, "Let's go."

-----------------------------------------------

_The power of the Ancients._

_The mystic ties that bind them to the land that never was, and the land that no longer is. There are worlds beyond mention, and as a race they were migrating from one to the next and moving them into adulthood from infancy, raising the voice of the Planet and helping it to survive. The Cetra, they are the last bastion of hope against the darkness that fills the universe, which chokes life._

_She is Ancient._

_She is Cetra._

_She is beautiful and she is life._

_She, she is all that is good in the world._

_**He**, however, is all that is my nightmares. With his silver hair, he is the evil in the corner of my locked up heart, the wound in my soul and the scar on my skin, ugly, and disfiguring. If I knew how to rid myself of him, I would._

_But as she sat there, looking strained, looking worried, what was I to do?_

_I came with you because I belong at your side._

_Because you are my light, Aerith._

_...and because I'm your hero._


	18. Chapter 18

_(A/N: It's downhill towards sadness, angst and action from here! Strap in and be ready for the ride! (probably not the ride of your life) - I've done a tonne of Tifa and Aerith based art on my deviantart account - and THANK YOU for the wonderful comments!)_

**18: The Temple of Ages**

_So come on God,  
__Here I am…  
__Can you hear me?  
__Can you save me?_

_- Halo -_

-------------------------

It was vast.

The monolith of bricks and mortar, held together by wisps of ivy that had long since permeated the ancient stones. Shrub which had been dense with the tendrils of forest that huddled close to the temple had instead been pushed back, as if the very temple wished to try and remain apart from all being, all life.

She had lived underneath the shadows of the Nibelheim Mountains and traversed their awe inspiring and breathtaking heights in her youth, never once intimidated by them. She had lived in the squalor and splendour that was the high rise world of Midgar, even where the slums could see the spiralling heights that marked their little world, stuffed under and below it, forgotten or attempted to be forgotten. She had flown and crashed, and almost died in the process and was chasing a homicidal lunatic half way around the world because she really had nothing better to do and she had happened to fall in love along the way with one of those unlucky enough to have their fate tied closely to that of said lunatic.

But standing here, she felt the breath pause in her throat and try to crawl all the way back down into her lungs, to nestle with her fluttering height and burning feelings, the pit of her passionate soul. The temple wasn't large to look at, nor was it anything other than slightly dilapidated from lack of care lavished on it with the waning of the Cetra race, but about it lingered something. Like old magic, worn heavily into the bones of a creature that refused to pass into the next life, hanging on for the last Ancient left alive, as a bridge to the world she would otherwise never know.

Thoughts acting as a summons, the Ancient stepped forward and then paused at the front of their small group of three investigating the temple remains for hints about Sephiroth and whatever it was he sought here.

Her eyes were pools of viridian life, glowing with something unspoken and uncharacteristically, not a single smile touched those perfect lips, pursed on the fractional leap of a thought or a word. Instead, she held herself straight and then slowly tilted her head back and cocked it to the left as if listening to someone or something very intently.

This was Aerith's strangest talent of all those amazing skills she possessed, from a healing touch or the power over plant life that astounded all the others; the power to listen to the Planet's voice, the very Planet which lived under their feet.

Almost ages ago now, to her it seemed, Bugenhagen had explained to Cloud and Barrett about the voice of the Planet, how he had created a machine which mimicked in a crude fashion, their unique ability to hear the Planet speak. The Cetra machine, as he sort of nicknamed it, was designed to allow humans to hear the pain that they put it through each day.

Tifa sometimes wondered what it was like, to endure such an agony as knowing that a dear friend you had been close to all your life (as the Planet must be to the Ancient) grows sickly with each passing day, a sickness your healing would not reach alone. It was this thought that often made Tifa ponder on the fact that Aerith was looking desperately in the hope that she wasn't alone, that someone could help her foster the talents to help the Planet grow whole again.

_She isn't alone though, I might not always understand her, nor be as gifted in such skills and magic as she is, but I want to be of some use, I want to help her help this world. I'd do anything to help her achieve those goals._

She smiled as Aerith opened her eyes, expelling a breath of air in a deep and weary sigh. Then she fell to her knees, clutching at her temple and murmured, "What?"

"Aerith!" Both she and Cloud said at the same time. He glanced at her, as if grateful that she would think of the flower girl.

Her barely restrained look that promised death by some cliff throwing episode of madness was a mite frosty. He didn't notice, as he usually tended to blank most things out emotionally. She sighed inwardly.

Yet another thorn in her foot on the bracken filled path she walked: Cloud Strife. She wasn't sure how to approach him about this at all, before her jealousy got the upper hand and she ended up hurting him for no good reason at all. She knew without question that he loved the strange Ancient as much as she did, well... probably not as much, she conceded with a small smile. But the problem lay in the fact that she was unsure what his reaction would be to any confession of feelings for Aerith on her part, of boasting that she held hands and kissed her, that she stole her breath and woke every morning to see her smiling. What a boast that would be... but would it break his heart?

So like always, she said nothing and just revelled in her delicious little secret, enjoyed the closeness of the girl whose hand she found first, who she helped up and who she held onto as she wavered helplessly in the after effect of the Planet's call.

"It was so loud, almost a shout," Aerith whispered."

"Did it say anything about Sephiroth?" Cloud demanded and Tifa was had put not to scowl - back to business in a flash, as per usual for the blond.

"No, but it seemed happy to have me here. It's like it's been waiting ever so long." She looked distant, "Such a long, long time to have anyone who speaks to it."

"But there was no mention of Sephiroth?"

"It didn't say either way, Cloud, I'm sorry. But..."

"But?"

"It feels uneasy, that much is clear." Aerith's face looked a little pale from exertion and she folded gently to Tifa's side with a willing motion, hands dropping to secretly brush against hers. Tifa blushed then looked to the side, trying to cover it with a cough and then as something caught her eye, she pointed in alarm.

"Look!"

Crumpling on the upper most step of the temple was a figure in black, hooded and shaking much like those they had encountered in Nibelheim, muttering about some reunion, about Sephiroth and humming to their selves in the creepiest way imaginable. Cloud narrowed his eyes and set off first. Aerith made to follow but Tifa tightened her very lax grip on the slender hand of the Ancient, shaking her head and putting herself in front.

"I'll go first, just in case."

Aerith giggled into a hand, "Playing hero again?"

"Always," she flashed a cocky grin that bubbled with good humour, and with a toss of her head, she paraded after Cloud, hearing the sweet laughter behind her. Tifa would make such an idiot from herself, just to have that laughter and smile rankle the ether. What a strange thing love was.

She ascended the steps in three or four easy bounds, coming to a stop by Cloud who was, by now, holding only the ragged remains of what had once been the black cloak for the figure, wisps of it's being still fading and disintegrating into the air. The horrible smell of sulphur lingered and instinctively she covered her mouth against backbite of rotten eggs that characterised the alchemical element.

"He vanished. He said he was inside..." Cloud muttered angrily, tossing the cloak down. "Tifa, we _can't_ take her in there."

"Can't we? Don't you think that's for her to decide - besides, we're here to protect her, aren't we? And this place," She gestured at it, "It's an _-Ancient-_ temple. Unless you got a degree in Cetra when none of us were looking, she has to go in. She's Cetra to her toes, and you _know_ it."

"I don't like the idea of it though, he's just in there, he's..."

"A homicidal maniac, yes, true." Tifa put her hands on her hips, noting how Aerith had to keep pausing to pull her skirt to her knees just to get up the steps, "But you can't cotton wool someone like her. She'll try and escape even harder."

"Tifa."

"Cloud," she retorted.

His expression turned sullen and she knew she was scowling at him, feeling prickled by every word coming from his mouth. She knew excatly how he felt, she really and honestly did, but knowing Aerith as intimately as she did now after months of travelling by her side, she also knew that it was impossible to try and cage that bird from freedom.

Aerith passed them whilst they were locked in staring, murmuring, "I can hear someone in pain..."

"Pain?" Tifa said, taking her eyes from Cloud's and breaking the deadlock, "Who, what, where?"

"Aerith... gah!"

Cloud vaulted inside after her, trying to get in front whilst Tifa took her time to scuff the scrap of a cloak from the top of the temple, a ragged remnant of some dirty trick and evil lie that really didn't belong on such sacred ground. It fluttered and flared into ghastly, wraith-like life then faded away, into the woods. She watched it for a moment, and then tightening her jaw she turned and followed Cloud and the silent-footed Aerith inside, arms folded underneath her ample bosom.

Inside there was a pool of very sticky blood and someone seated in the centre of it, head bowed and jerking every now and then, as if pained them to breathe. She looked to Aerith, seeing her white face, hands pressed to her mouth in shock and tears made from diamonds standing in emerald eyes. Then she looked to Cloud, who wore an expression caught between horrors and _'you got your comeuppance'_.

The figure gave a wet gasp, the wet tear of someone who has an internal wound and she winced, then blinked as the figure raised its head: Tseng, the director of the Turk subsection in ShinRa employ. He had managed to remain, despite the dust of the inside of the temple, marginally clean, bar the blood and gaping wound in the right side of his chest. In one bloody, curled up hand, he held the keystone, a twisted, glowing green thing that pulsated with life. His eyes passed from her to Cloud, inscrutably dark, then to Aerith where the vaguest hint of emotion seeped through.

"Aerith," he gasped, tears welling in his eyes, "I didn't want you to see this."

"T-Tseng," she wailed breathlessly, then hurried off and turned her back, hands moving from her mouth to cover her face. "Tseng, **why**?"

"I came here to try an... and open the temple of the A... Ancients," he laboured, clutching the wound but his eyes never leaving the back of the Ancient. Tifa felt a wrench of pity. How strange - she never imagined she would feel pity for him. "I was following orders..."

"Sephiroth?" Cloud once again barked, as if giving orders.

The dark eyes of the Turk swept briefly to his face, a taut sneer happening to curl the corners of his lips, then they too relaxed tiredly, "He's inside, he gave me this wound."

"The keystone?"

"Take it," Tseng tossed it feebly so it clattered uselessly on the floor. "I'm not going to need it anyway." Then he struggled to try and rise up with Aerith watching from the corner of her eye, horror written over her pale face. Cloud made not one single move to try and help him, stone faced as he retrieved the keystone.

But the terrible horror in the green eyes of her love was what moved her to action. She crossed the distance between herself and the Turk quickly; some small part of her distressed at what she was doing, screaming at her to use common sense: these were the enemy! But Aerith's kind eyes didn't see that... so she grasped him by the arm and with a heave, helped to move Tseng away from the pattern decorated altar and to a corner. When he relaxed, she peered into his eyes, and he into hers. There was no hint of animosity, only tiredness.

She knew then, he was worth her pity, he was worth whatever scraps of compassion she had left for the human race on the whole. Stuck between everything in his life, she could see it in that moment, a look she knew was mirrored on her face and with it, came crashing understanding to both of them. Secretly, so Cloud couldn't see as he was busy inspecting the murals and the keystone to try and open the passage to the Temple, she slipped him a vial of medicinal potion; to help heal the wound a little, stem some of his bleeding.

His expression changed not once as he took it, but the dark eyes crinkled briefly with what would have been a smile.

Aerith was still trying to stop her weeping, so leaving Tseng to try and administer first aid to his self - pity after all, only ran so far - she came to stand, back to back with the Ancient. "Hey."

"Hey," there came the snuffled reply.

"You crying?"

"Just a little." There was a soft sob, caught close to a strangled laugh, "I grew up with Tseng... he's someone who really knows me... there's probably only a handful of people in the world who can say that. It's just sad, you know."

"Yeah," Tifa looked over her shoulder, passing her the handkerchief she kept for situations of cleaning or the rare weeping fit, "Don't cry, Aerith."

"I'm trying not to; I look awful when I cry!"

"I don't care - I think you're _beautiful_ no matter _what_."

"T-Teef..."

There was a click and a green glow flooded the area under their feet, highlighting the columns and the thick, rough hewn walls where crude symbols were carved. Tifa blinked and even the Ancient who was wiping her eyes, turned to see the source of the brilliant effusion of light, which happened to be Cloud who had finally fitted the Keystone into place. Another click echoed in the room and the blond turned to wave gently, "I think it's a lift mechanism of a sort."

"Then, we'd best get on," Tifa took Aerith's hand, "Don't worry, Tseng will be fine."

And Aerith, all knowing, all loving, smiled and said, "I know, thanks to you."

------------------------------

The temple inside was deceptive, betraying the somewhat small in comparison outer front it presented to the world. A whole world and ruin created from marble arches, twisting stairs and steps and interlocking puzzles that ran without end or seam from one to the other. It confused the eye and the mind. The lift had left them on the precipice of a ledge and from there; she had spotted the fellow in purple, quite rotund but oozing spiritual energy that made the hairs on her arms and back of her neck stand to attention. With a pointed finger, she suggested delicately that they follow him to the room where he tried to hide himself away. Whilst caught in the process of climbing clinging Rockroot Ivy to an upper level, she turned over the thoughts bubbling away to themselves.

Tseng's appearance. Sephiroth's numerous heinous acts which only seemed to add shadow to a lightless character. ShinRa's involvement. The spy, Cait Sith. Her dark dreams. Cloud and Tifa. In the end it always came back to those two; already they had woven themselves into her life so completely that she found herself unable to extricate either one from it. Cloud: the boy who hid from the world. And Tifa: the girl who shunned it. Both broken but broken in completely different ways.

She and Tifa hadn't _exactly_ spoken about the date at the Gold Saucer, but she knew that one day, Tifa would see the wisdom in her choices, even if for now they seemed to be about as a clear as mud. Tifa had become a little less possessive, perhaps trying to ease that fear of someone else stealing her away. She'd even told her about the play, where upon she had laughed until her socks should shoot from her feet with the force of merriment. But seeing Tifa smile was enough to soothe the worry in her troubled soul. If Tifa could understand, then everything would come right, somehow, she believed that.

At the ledge, interrupting her thoughts, they continue into the small craggy room where the purple robed man had vanished, and once inside the air seemed significantly cooler and there was a humming sound that hovered on the edge of delicious, echoing in her ears. She knew neither of her friends could hear it, but it hung so delicately on her inner ear that sometimes she would have sworn it was closer to a sigh. Careful not to frighten the poor being, Aerith approached him and almost all at once, heard a jumble of words and pictures, feelings.

**Child**.

There was an image of how the creature must view her, and to her shock it was nothing like the girl who often pulled sleepy eyed faces at her in the mirror of a morning. Instead she was beautiful, radiant even, vibrant with the energy of a world that depended on her; flushed cheeks and excited eyes.

**Danger. Great Danger, Flee**.

Now the image in her mind was replaced with that of a man in shadows, striding down hallways she didn't recognise yet at some deep seated genetic level, it roused incredible fear inside her. She suddenly felt like screaming, tearing at her hair and howling, weeping even in utter panic at this terrible image.

**Below.**

And she understood.

She opened her eyes and smiled, mopping her brow with a discreet wave of her hand and plastering a smile on her mouth; "He says we have to go down if we want to find Sephiroth."

"What is he?"

"Once he was a carer in this Temple. Over time, without people to speak to, the Ancient's guarding here probably lost the ability to speak with humans. It's a mixture of feelings and images, all at once and hard to sort through. I understand him, almost, though." She looked to the door, "But we still have a way to go. He's very frightened."

Tifa said nothing, looking at Cloud. Cloud stared at the man for a long moment, then locked eyes with Aerith, as if he was asking her if such information were good enough to act upon. She nodded and then he gestured to the door. As a unit, they followed.

The journey to find the entrance to the lower parts of the temple was just as bad. They managed to find it eventually, but it was well hidden under a marble arch, tricking the eye with the winding corridors and stairs that littered the particular area, sometimes even those stairs going nowhere at all but a useless dead end.

She pressed close to Tifa as they entered to a loud thumping noise, another figure in purple running away ahead of them. The thumping noise was not erratic, often echoed with a grating noise. For the longest time she wondered if she were hearing things, phantasms in her mind, but then a boulder roughly the size of a truck came bolting past and she grabbed Tifa's hand in alarm, realising with a jolt of amusement, that Tifa grabbed back just as hard. Cloud stared, ashen faced.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me."

"Don't give up," she said in a voice that was underpinned by her iron resolve. They had to get through here, the answer to why Sephiroth was here, it was so close!

So saying, she hurried ahead, ducking into the side of the wall as quickly as possible. With shouts of alarm, she realised the others were following, with varying degrees of success as they pressed into divots in the walls to avoid being flattened completely by the rolling boulders. At one point, her foot wasn't so quick to escape and the stabbing pain coupled with a crunching sensation told her that something had broken in her foot. With a dive out of the other side, she came to rest at the feet of the purple robed fellow. Cloud followed almost a half second later, crashing down beside her and holding his middle, breathing like a labourer. Tifa took two minutes more, but perfect as always in any physical challenge, not a single hair seemed to be out of place.

_That's my Tifa_.

Aerith smiled then gripped her head as another wave of terror flooded her.

It called her, she came to conclude, with the boulders stopping now - it called her back down the hall and so doing, she got to her feet as Tifa was prodding the prostrate Cloud with a foot, chuckling about his terrible physical condition. She left them there, eyes following her curiously, and with a turn around a bend as she homed in on that feeling, she saw a pool of water that glowed. It lit up the entire room with strange highlights.

"Cloud, Tifa!" she called, stepping close to the water.

She ran her hands into it as the two arrived to see her there, and she continued talking softly; "It's full of knowledge... consciousness... a living soul... It's trying to say something. I'm sorry, I don't understand. What? What is it? ...Danger? An evil... consciousness? ...show? You're going to show me?"

She pulled back as Tifa and Cloud both ducked down, one to each side and the water grew in brilliance until colours could be defined, the scene sharpening...

------------------------------------------

"What's going on?"

"Shhh, Cloud. Look, it's showing us!"

_Tseng stood close by a mural, examining it minutely as his subordinate; the blonde called Elena hovered and saluted at his shoulder. Her eyes took in the paintings, "Tseng, what is this? Can we find the Promised Land with this?"_

_"...I wonder. Anyway, we have to report to the President."_

_"Be careful Tseng." She saluted again, and as she turned to go, Tseng said in a voice bordering on heartbreak;_

_"Yeah, hey Elena. How 'bout dinner when this job is over?"_

_"Th...Thank you very much," she breathed, eyes wide, "...If I may be excused?"_

_She left, clasping hands to reddened cheeks in alarm and her eyes wide with surprise. Tseng returned to eyeing the murals, hands behind his back and thumbs twiddling, an old habit from his past. He spoke to no one but himself, "Is this the Promised Land? No, it can't be..."_

_There was light, there was sound and there was Sephiroth. The Masamune glinted in his hand, as if hungering and his eyes, stark green, were wild. Tseng jumped in alarm at reached a hand for the gun in it's holster warily, not once touching it however. "Sephiroth!"_

_"So," said the General in his mellifluous voice, rich and warm, "You opened the door, well done."_

_"This place, what is it?"_

_"A lost treasure house of Knowledge. The wisdom of the Ancients," he laughed and straightened, glancing to the mural with a sinister smile covering his lips, "I am becoming one with the Planet."_

_"One... with the... Planet?" His lips formed the name of the last Ancient, but no sound gave it life._

_Sephiroth simply sneered; "You stupid fools. You have never even thought about it. All the spirit energy of this Planet. All its wisdom... knowledge... I will meld with it all. I will become one with it... it will become one with me."_

_Awe slid onto the face of the Turk boss, "You... can do that?"_

_"The way..." he moved, it was so fast no eye could have followed it. But they saw the effect, the sword ramming through Tseng's chest without any hint of resistance. Sephiroth's lips hovered by the conch curl of Tseng's ear where he whispered, "...lies here. Only death awaits you all. But do not fear. For it is through death that new spirit energy is born. Soon, you will live again as a part of me."_

--------------------------------------------

They pulled back, each pale faced, but Aerith's expression was close to confused.

"...did you...see **it**?" She asked slowly.

"Yeah, but..."

"Where is the room with all the murals?" Cloud asked over the top of Tifa, who shot him a dark look. Aerith tugged on her hair - it wasn't far at all but in there something else lay, something she had seen and they hadn't. She had to know.

_I have to_.

"Almost there."

"Sephiroth is here, right?" Cloud brushed at his hair, his eyes unfocused, "No matter what he thinks, it's going to end here. I'm going to take him out!"

--------------------------------------------

The room wasn't far away at all, a long stretch that gaped far and wide, with carved pictures in the walls and the sense of closeness about that room which strangled the mind. She nodded to the murals and waited breathlessly as Cloud called out into the room. To her side, Tifa came up close, an arm encircling her waist protectively.

"_So cold_," a voice whispered and they all glanced around. The General, with white hair gleaming, was knelt, shimmering as if insubstantial, at the very end of the hall, yet his voice carried. "I am always by your side... ...splendid... a treasure house of knowledge..."

Cloud scowled, "I don't understand what you're saying."

"Look well."

"At what?" His frustration was barely checked and it made a smirk appear on the mouth of the twisted man, of Jenova blood and horrific birth.

"At that which adds to the knowledge of...? I am becoming one with the Planet."

_One with the Planet!_

She didn't know what he meant at all. To become one with it was to die. Was he dying?

So with roused interest, she was forced to ask: "Become one with the Planet, how do you intend to do that?"

His eyes sought her, roved over her form so she felt naked under that revealing, stripping gaze that tore away all her protections, even clothes. A fanciful mind may conceive that he indeed, saw under all her 'armaments' and the like. She swallowed under the scrutiny, blushing even as a sadistic little smile quirked his lips, piqued there as Tifa came to stand in front of her. She stared at the smooth roundness of Tifa's bare shoulder and upper arm, the soft scent of her hair and the winning feel of having her hero stand there for her, like a champion. She leaned into Tifa, as Cloud's attention seemed to be riveted wholly on Sephiroth, and kissed her gently in gratitude upon the curve of her graceful neck. Sephiroth just grinned.

But he chose to humour her. "It's simple. Once the Planet is hurt, it gathers Spirit Energy to heal the injury. The amount of energy gathered depends on the size of the injury. ...What would happen if there was an injury that threatened the very life of the Planet? Think how much energy would be gathered! Ha ha ha. And at the centre of that injury, will be me. All that boundless energy will be mine. By merging with all the energy of the Planet, I will become a new life form, a new existence. Melding with the Planet... I will cease to exist as I am now... Only to be reborn as a 'God' to rule over every soul."

"An injury powerful enough to destroy the Planet? Injure the Planet?" she repeated numbly as though he spoke a whole other language.

"Behold... the mural," he swept his arm as he stood up, "The ultimate destruction magic - **Meteor**."

"That'll _never_ happen!" Cloud snarled, dashing forward and then there was a flash of light and Sephiroth was gone, leaving Cloud to stumble a few steps then stand alone in the room by the mural, arms limp. At least until he started laughing.

_Hysterically_.

She and Tifa exchanged alarmed looks and together they hurried to his side, each one unsure if they should touch him. Cloud's eyes were open and blank, but still blue, tears streaming down his cheeks to his chin where they dripped off and he continued to laugh, "Black Materia... hahaha! Call Meteor... hahahaha!"

"Cloud," Aerith said, then firmly shook his shoulder, "Cloud, get a hold of yourself!"

"Cloud... I'm Cloud... _Cloud_..." He struggled, some recognition fighting into his blank eyes. "I **should** remember... what do I? Remember? Remember... Cloud... _my...way_..."

"Cloud..." She breathed sadly as he gave a great shudder. In that moment she knew, the strings Sephiroth had tied to Cloud all those years ago starting with the incident at the Nibelheim reactor - those strings lingered still and made the poor man dance like a broken puppet all for the evil mans sick and twisted amusement. Everything he could have been was buried under years of self doubt, self pity, self hate, a feeling of inferiority screwed to sticking point by the influence of that madman.

"I..." he shook his head then sighed, looking up at them, "Hmm... what's wrong? Is something wrong?"

"I...It's nothing, so don't worry about it Cloud," she smiled, the best fake smile she could, "Right, it's _nothing_. Sephiroth got away though..."

"Don't worry about it... I understand what he was saying," His eyes were confused though, "So... this must be Meteor, right?"

"Meteor... it looks to be huge, and dangerous," Tifa murmured.

"...this must be magic." Aerith backed away from them and pressed hands to her temple - was there wailing and panic? "Just what Sephiroth was saying? The Ultimate Destructive Magic, Meteor. It finds small drifting planets with its magic. And then collides with them. This Planet might get wiped out entirely..."

And just as she said that, a great dragon crashed through the wall, blowing chunks of brick and mortar everywhere, with splinters of wood from the door and she screamed.

"_Hahaha_," echoed Sephiroth's mocking laughter.

-----------------------------------------

The fight was brutal but a mark of just how far they had come in such a short space of time. Between a few swift angry blows from Cloud, her own ice magic and Tifa's incredible agility, they had rounded the dragon up and put it down quickly. The wounds they'd sustained were little to nothing, something she felt a touch smug about _(after all, they had encountered one similar on the slopes of Nibelheim when Yuffie had tried catching dinner and ended up running back to camp being chased by two wyrmlings and a Red Dragon...)._

Now though, after Cait had said they could use his stuffed body to take the Black Materia out of the temple, as his sacrifice to a team that he had betrayed, she stood by the door to the outside world, staring helplessly into his lifeless eyes, wishing hard that something, anything she could say would make this moment go away, would make it less tragic.

But his huge soft hands cupped hers gently, stroking her tanned skin and the old, small and softening calluses from hours spent in her beloved garden and she found she could not weep for this brave soul, willing to give up something for them, willing to do it despite all their thoughts and fears of traitors and liars and thieves in the night.

"Sorry to keep you waiting," Cait spoke up suddenly. His little cat bobbed around on his head, megaphone waved like a pennant, like a general waves to give orders. His accent made even those grim words sound cheerful and she almost smiled, "I'll handle the rest. Well then everyone, take care of yourselves!"

"Cait Sith..." she cast a desperate look to Tifa who shook her head, then Cloud, "Come on Cloud, say something."

"I'm... not good at this," the blond murmured.

"Hmm," Cait just grinned in the lackadaisical way he adopted sometimes, to afford them ease around a walking, talking stuffed animal, "I feel kinda the same."

"Well... why don't you read our fortunes?"

She was surprised at herself for even asking this, turning red to the roots of her hair. Tifa folded her arms, a dark look saying that she knew what Aerith was going to say, but after the episode with Sephiroth, also knowing that Cloud really needed to be cheered up. She pleaded silently for a moment with her green eyes, seeking understanding, and then with a short laugh, Tifa assented with a reluctant nod, but a twinkle in her dark eyes that promised her own pleasure in gaining revenge somehow, usually a tickle-fight which Aerith always lost hands down.

"Say, that's right... I haven't done it in a while, huh? I'm so excited." Indeed, he started bouncing around happily. "Right or wrong, I'm still the same 'ol me. Now, what should I predict?"

She looked from Tifa and then went to stand by Cloud, lifting a hand and cheerfully saying: "Hmm… lets see how compatible Cloud and I are!"

Cait laughed, "That'll cost ya. Exactly one date! Here I go!" She smothered a giggle at the very idea of a stuffed mog going on a date - this wasn't precisely the time to crack up over the image of Cait wedged into the Gondola... funny as it was... no, straight face! There was a ding after moments of him waving his arms about in arcane patterns, and then Cait looked at Tifa in a panic and cringed. "This isn't good. I can't say it. Poor Tifa."

_Poor Tifa? ...does he know and Tifa and me!_

She blinked, as Tifa blushed and looked away surreptitiously. Oh, so Tifa had been _telling_ people!

"No! Tell me! I promise I won't get mad!"

Cait lowered the card, then smiled sadly; "Is that so? Then I'll tell you. Looks good. You are perfect for each other! Aeris's star and Cloud's star! They show a great future! Cloud, I'll be your matchmaker, preacher... I'll do whatever you want me to! You just call me when it all happens!" She bit her lip and watched Tifa's expression, which was slightly sad. "Thank you for believing in me, know that I was a spy. This is the final, _final_ farewell!"

"Cait," she said in alarm as he hurried off, then with tears streaming, she lifted a hand and whispered, "...be strong, Cait Sith..."

"We should go out," Cloud announced, bright red and eyes sparkling, no doubt from that reading Cait had done, "Or we'll be crushed. _Hurry_!"

...and as one, they hurried to the door, even if Aerith dragged her feet a little behind everyone else...

-------------------------------------------

Light.

The sound of something softly crying.

Air became hot, overheated, contracting into itself.

Then in the pit where the temple had been, when the light faded there sat only a single piece of rock that if it weren't for the trained eye, someone would mistake as being a chunk of obsidian, raw and unpolished power trapped within the dark heart of the small materia that could bring an end to everything they knew so easily, so quickly. Carefully, as Tifa stayed by the top to keep watch, she and Cloud descended down and he scooped the materia up, holding the dark glassy object to the sun, disappointed when no light refracted through the murky depths.

She smiled at him. "We did it."

"And as long as we have it, Sephiroth can't use it." Cloud pulled his hand down, blue eyes still twinkling with excitement travelling to meet hers shyly, like a boy who has discovered what it is to love for the first time, "Can you guys use it?"

"Nope," she said and twined her arms about her middle, "One person's power alone won't do. You need a lot of spiritual power to use it. Somewhere special, where there is plenty of the Planet's energy... Oh! The Promised Land!"

"The Promised Land! No...but..."

Aerith looked at him and shook her head, "No, Sephiroth is different. He's not an Ancient."

"He shouldn't be able to find the Promised Land, then."

As if summoned, the demons voice rang through the air; "Oh but I have. I'm far superior to the Ancients. I became a traveller of the Lifestream and gained the knowledge and wisdom of the Ancients. And soon, I will create the future."

Surprising herself, she pushed Cloud from the way. It was almost like her dream, so alike that she could feel the power inside her curdle with it, growing stronger with each passing moment she stood in confrontation, "The future is not yours alone, I won't let you do it!" she shouted to the sky from the pit where the Temple of Ages once stood.

"Ha ha ha... I wonder... wake up!"

_Wake up? No..._

Cloud clutched his head and went onto his knees almost instantly. Frightened by this, she looked upwards to see Tifa peering over the pit edge in alarm. Then she looked down and reached over to him as he began to move slowly. The point where he was heading to there stood an image of Sephiroth, tall and handsome in a sinister fashion, with his black clad hand out stretched to take the materia from his unwilling little puppet in a play of souls, a theatre of dead dreams he liked to command. She wanted to stop him, but her tugging did nothing, her voice did not reach his deaf ears.

The chink was loud as materia passed hands.

_I have failed?_

"...well done," smirked the General, and vanished.

Cloud collapsed onto his knees. Shaking, and trying to draw breath, she could see the strain being controlled had placed on him - had he fought hard against those bonds on him? She left her spot to reach his side, touching his back then moving the light touch into a rubbing motion, designed to soothe him. "Cloud, are you alright?"

"I gave the Black Materia to... Sephiroth... what... what did I do... tell me Aerith..."

She bit her lip. "Cloud... be strong, ok?" - It wasn't your fault.

"Urrrrgh, what have I done!" he screamed, rearing back so she tripped over and fell hard onto the ground.

Eyes wide, she stared up at him, at his blank eyes, "Cloud, you **haven't** done anything! It's **not** your fault!" she tried yelling back.

The first blow landed. She was unsure at first if she had been struck, but the pain bloomed fiercely behind her cheekbone, and by the time the next blow struck her cleanly on the temple, mercifully knocking her unconscious, all she could do inside was weep for Cloud...

--------------------------------------

_He was beating her._

_He was savaging her._

_I scaled the walls to Hell to rescue the Angel, but he was like a madman._

_"What are you doing?" I screeched at him._

_Possessed by demons, he flailed at the light of our lives, trying to extinguish it. There was blood on the rocks - how badly had she suffered abuse at his hands? Defenceless little flower, wilting gently in the heat of day, suffering cruel attacks and yet still, struggling on, how I admire you, little flower._

_So he eventually slowed, eyes filling with terror as sanity came back to him. I cried out for her, "What have you done?"_

_And dumbly he repeated, "What have I done?"_

_But as blood trickled from the corner of the mouth I lavished kisses upon, rage replaced my own sanity. Jealousy was the monster inside me, jealousy, hatred, hate, hate, hate. I hated him, for hurting her. I hated him, for loving her. I hated him, for having a star that matched hers. I hated him for being born socially acceptable as a man to love a woman. I hated him so much in that moment, that sanity; a little voice in my head curled up and ran away. Love, the blessing and the curse, the double edged sword was driven deep in my heart and because of love, I knew how to really hate for the first time... and the blow that took his waking moments was hard. It was brutal. It was a rough caress of my foot, the banging pound, the thump of steel into the back of his head. He may have bled. I didn't know. I didn't care._

_Cradling the body of Aerith who breathed, if only just; I picked up the PHS and screamed for help._

_Somewhere, the plan to stop Sephiroth, the plan to get the materia, the plan to stop it all, had gone horribly wrong._

_...and then I heard it..._

_...tick..._

_...tick..._

_...tick..._

_...and knew suddenly, time was running out. But… what for?_


	19. Chapter 19

_(A/N - The next chapter is actually split into two 'Grey Dawn' and 'Heart's Twilight' :D )_

**19: Grey Dawn**

_Could have been a small town,  
__And when the rain would fall down  
__I'd just stare out my window  
__Dreaming of what could be  
__And if I'd end up happy  
__I would pray..._

_...I do what it takes until I touch the sky...  
__I'll make a wish, take a chance, make a change  
__And break away...  
__-Kelly Clarkson_

--------------------------------------

_"Dear Diary... it is February, we have spent a month or more waiting for Cloud to wake up..."_

She cradled the little purple clad book, writing gently on the paper with a scratch-scratch of her pen so the words inscribed there were as solid as each one she could make them. She realised at some point she had started to cry, a lonely sort of crying that she was unsure if she knew how to prevent. It was cold, cold tears unlike the hot ones that normally accompanied wild swings of emotion. The tears dripped sometimes from her chin and every now and then she was forced to stop and wipe them before they smudged on the paper and made the blue ink fail and run into little rivers of illegibility.

She knew.

Ever since she'd woken from the terrible blackness that had swallowed her at the mindless rage infecting his hands, covered with bruises that Yuffie had been crying over, trying to tend, she had known. With pain in her heart and her head, she gathered what strength she could to take the pain away but only the sharp stabbing agony in her heart remained, and she had known. Terrible lurking fear over her shoulder that woke her each night with a scream, bolting upright as Cloud refused to wake from the coma that a guilty Tifa had placed him in under her own fit of rage, each time she felt sweat dampen between her breasts and stick her night clothes to her, she knew the terrible agony, she knew.

Each loud noise that called from the hallway, be it Barrett hollering after a bigger breakfast, Cid cursing Yuffie when she kept cheating him from his 'smokes money' during the long hours or Tifa coming to knock on her door gently, asking in a sheepish and very quiet voice if she was alright; each of these sounds made her jump and clutch the book to her, pressing it to her chest and the pain that was a phantom bloomed where bruises had once dented on her delicate skin.

She was alright though.

She only _knew_. Knowing did **nothing** to stop the clamping of muscles around her throat, to cut off the stream of words she didn't understand well enough. Knowing **didn't** stop her from covering her shaking hands when she crept out to eat dinner. Knowing **didn't** make her any less vigilant in taking care of his health as he slept and wrestled demons that she couldn't help him with as long as he lingered from her reach. Knowing **didn't** still the voice of the Planet, louder, softer, warmer and colder by turns. Knowing, as with all things, did **nothing** to aid her. Only settled her on the precipice of action.

"Not long," she whispered and the tears started again, so she rocked back and forth.

She had to go away.

She **had** to go and leave them behind.

Her gravest duty yet, one that had come for her with the wind outside the faceless building that had tied her life down to ShinRa, a fate which had set her free and given her wings to fly, fly away and find her way, her truths in this lonely world. She would not refuse such a task, even the sound of her mothers voice finally carried to her and she could not refuse... because she was the only one. She was all that was left, a remnant of a remnant.

She'd looked, of course, fruitlessly hunting for other Cetra but finding only echoes of those who had passed away maybe only years before she had come looking for them, or those who had submerged themselves into the human blood line and gene pool that their magic was diluted. She suspected, without ever having evidence to back such a claim up, that Yuffie was in some small part of Cetra heritage more so than the others, for she commanded healing magic well enough without aid of materia, a talent that cropped up only in Cetra bloodlines. But such power was distant, cold comfort to someone like she.

So when the stars were alight in the evening, she crept out to search them for her answers, knowing they would guide her. But they always pointed there, always pointed so distant. She knew she had little choice now, she knew time was up. The time for action was upon her.

She _knew_.

And because she knew, holding the diary with shaking hands, she wept.

---------------------------------

Tifa lowered her hand from knocking, drawing back at the sounds of weeping from inside the room.

Behind her, Yuffie held a tray laden with a bowl that held a thick vegetable soup and a crusty roll, her expression mixed as she too caught the delicate strains of the Ancient's sobbing. She looked down at the bowl, "Tifa, is she alright? She hasn't been quite the same since we came back from the temple... We've been here for an awfully long time now. Cloud's not looking better either."

"I know, I don't want to believe I put him in a condition like that," Tifa took the tray and nodded that they should go back to the kitchens of the hotel that the owner had agreed to let to them almost entirely upon hearing that Tifa knew Zack's family. "Aerith said that she thinks some part of his soul fled deep inside him, not wanting to understand the reality of the situation, but she'll pull him out when she can complete her magic rituals."

"Then why is she crying?"

"..." Her dark eyes studied the floor numbly as they walked together, "I don't know."

"... Hey, um... if you two get married, can I be a bridesmaid?"

The question was so from the blue that it almost jolted Tifa from her feet and then she laughed, seeing Yuffie's eager expression as they slowed to a halt by the door that opened into the kitchen. "Married?"

"Yeah, you're in love, right? I bet being asked would cheer her up... you said so yourself, Aerith's the one for you. You should consider it!"

"...married..." Tifa rolled the word around in her head. Okay, so it wasn't conventional, but at this stage nothing much was.

They were taking on a huge corporation and winning, they were saving the planet, a fire wolf spoke the human tongue better than Barrett, a human being, did; an Ancient travelled with their party to combat the darkness in Cloud and Sephiroth, a genetic experiment gone wrong, was fighting them every step of the way. So love? Wasn't that to be cherished?

"Plus, I'm an only child and you guys are like, well..." Yuffie's eyes shone as she bent her head, looking awkward, toe scuffing the floorboards as the betraying sock slid down to her ankle, "...like sisters to me and... I always wanted to be a bridesmaid..."

"Marriage... I think that's the best idea I've heard in a long time."

"Really? Well... it's Valentine's Day soon, but even better, I know its Aerith-sama's birthday tomorrow!" The wutai ninja bounced and clapped her hands, "So let's do something amazing for her! Flowers, dinner, starlight walk!"

"Do...we have the gil for that? I mean," Tifa juggled the tray awkwardly whilst trying to itch her cheek, "This place isn't precisely cheap on the gil wallet."

"I can solve that."

"Do I even want to ask how?"

"Do you want to continue to sleep at night?"

Tifa made a face, "Then that's a _'no Tifa, stay grey hair free'_ answer."

Just as Yuffie was laughing, the door banged outwards, one to each girl's face as Barrett stomped through with Cid hot on his heels. The language they were both using was foul beyond all credence, and Cid seemed to be quite angry at Barrett. The taller man was backing off and muttering about 'cheatin' cards, foo''. When the door finally swung back into place there was an angry red mark on Yuffie's forehead, a hand cupped to her nose which was bleeding. On the opposite side, Tifa slowly drew the tray down from her chest where it had been catapulted - the thick vegetable soup dripping down her front into a fragrant puddle on the floor, still steaming hot.

"You blathering idiots," Yuffie scowled.

"Oh hey, look, it's th' shrimp." Barrett grinned and even Cid stopped to guffaw at the welt rising just under the green headband Yuffie wore as a mark of her clan affiliation. Then they both wiped smiles from their faces as they saw the darkening face of Tifa and the ruined bowl of food.

"Barrett... Cid..." she murmured in a deceptive tone of voice.

"It was his fault," they both said in unison, pointing to the other.

"Oh Tifa, your clothes," Yuffie sighed, "We'll get you something to wear whilst they get washed. Something special?"

"Special?" Cid butted in, "Special fer what?"

Tifa blushed and looked away, so the nin' girl piped up in an excited tone of voice, "Tifa's gonna ask Aerith to marry her tomorrow."

"Woah," muttered the pilot, but grinned from ear to ear. Probably having some perverted thought, Tifa noted coolly, but she glanced quickly to Barrett. He seemed a bit surprised, but not disgusted by it.

"Barrett," she said softly, her voice hovering close to a questioning tone.

"Go for it Teef," he rumbled. Tears brimmed in her eyes suddenly. "Ah, no cryin', y'hear? You've always been like a lil' sister t'me. So, if this makes y'happy, go for it. I'll crack the heads of anyone who don't agree, got it? 'Sides, you dont know what'll happen when Cloud wakes up, right? That spiky headed jerk and his Sephiroth 'disability' - _whatever_… You gotta live for the now, you gotta be happy. So be happy, Teef. And make that girl in there happy too, cuz' she cries too much, ya hear what I'm sayin'?"

"Of course I will," she laughed in relief, wiping at her eyes. The soup going cold on her ample bosom hardly bothered her at all now. Awkwardly the four of them stood in contemplation, until a deep, gravel-velvet voice said from somewhere in the shadows;

"A happy ending?"

Tifa clung to the ground by sheer willpowe, but Yuffie climbed a foot into the air with her surprised jump, much the same as Cid did whilst Barrett scowled and ppointed his gun arm at the shadow out of sheer habit. From the draping shadows Vincent slowly drew, his dark hair obscuring his face partially as it hung.

"Vincent, god**damn** freakin' vampire...**fu**-"

"Stop creeping around!" Yuffie snapped on top of Cid's outburst, which had just been clamouring to an interesting expletive, which he spat out anyway if in a lower tone of voice. "You could give people heart attacks."

"You? _Heart?_" Grinned Cid from around his 'smoke'.

"Come here and say that, old man," she muttered.

"Kids, kids," Tifa said in exasperation and when they both gave her identical looks of horror, she laughed. It wasn't long until everyone else was laughing too, helplessly so - apart from Vincent, because a smile might ruin that image he had going for him, so he melted back into the shadows smoothly and left. But the others laughed together, the soup forgotten and a plan to woo the Ancient into saying yes had begun.

----------------------------------

Aerith was replacing the cloth over the symbol she had marked in candle wax on Cloud's forehead when the door opened. She hurriedly put everything back into place and was only a little surprised when Tifa came in, surprised because of the change of clothes.

Ditching the black and white for one evening, Tifa had pulled on a comfortable set of loose jeans-like trousers and a dark blue shirt which hugged her snugly over her chest. Her hair was much the same, but in one hand she held a bunch of flowers. These she offered to the ancient with a blush.

"What's the occasion?" Aerith murmured, holding them and looking into their sunny faces with delight - she dared not ask where she had found early flowers in such a desolate place, especially at this time of year.

"Come... I... date with me?" Tifa mumbled, pressing hands together nervously. "Please? I would be honoured...that is..."

"A date?" Aerith laughed and put the flowers down, "Alright... where?"

"Dinner," the fighter looked relieved. "A picnic really, under the stars. I know it's not much but..."

"No... It sounds perfect." She stood up, holding the flowers close to her, "Anything you suggest sounds perfect to me."

"...I'm glad you feel that way," Tifa smiled, and pushed the door open a little more, "Shall we?"

Then she was taking the cool, scarred hand of Tifa from hard battles, pressing the knuckles to her lips with a vague trace of pink in her cheeks and murmuring into the skin, sure enough of this moment, to say, "We shall."

----------------------------------

The picnic had been beyond words, perfect.

Together, the two girls, both perfectly imperfect in their own way, lay out beside each other, holding hands and staring up at the sky with scattered remnants of food strewn on the blanket and the wicker basket left forgotten as with wide eyes, each one drank in the world together.

_Together._

The taller girl was beautiful in the way of the here, the now; with dark eyes and darker hair, long limbs and a confident manner that belied her dark mood swings and desperate loneliness. Her mouth was curved for this night, as every moment spent with her love, into a small smile, a comfortable, happy smile.

The shorter girl was beautiful in the way of the unknown, the mysterious love, the forgotten soul; her hair of golden brown and large eyes of brilliant viridian. She exuded energy and life, sheer vibrant life that sang with every motion, rippled in the sweet clarity of her voice. Tonight she lay in the grass, hoping for there to be no tomorrow, hoping for nothing to ever carry on.

"We could... stay here and just forget the world," Tifa said softly. Her eyes reflected the stars it seemed, "The stars are beautiful, the world is lovely, my life is... complete."

"We can't stay here," Aerith murmured sadly, gripping Tifa's hand tightly, "We have obligations. We made promises."

"Promises I can break, if it meant I couldn't leave this perfect moment."

"And what about life? Life is a series of moments, a series of coincidences, happenstances that all add to experience, to life, to fate itself. You would sidestep all of that?"

"Yes. But you wouldn't stay with me if I did?"

"..." The shorter girl closed her eyes, "No. I... couldn't."

"I see."

Tifa turned on her side to look at her, mouth curving gently. It was then that Aerith knew one more truth, one final truth and sadly she smiled back at her. The fighter continued in a softer tone, gentle as the hand which came up to cup her cheek, "So... how about we stay here as long as we can then?"

"...I'll stay as long as I can, for you," she whispered back.

The wind was heavier now than it had been, cold and harsh across their skin and raising goose bumps, so Aerith sat up, setting her determination as she eyes the scattered food that would go to feeding birds and eventually plant life alike. The night was dark and she suddenly felt as though she needed to go elsewhere. But Tifa was upright before her, offering her an arm as she tucked the blanket around the other.

"You look cold," she said, "Even with that cute jacket."

"I am a bit," Aerith admitted and took the arm, rising to her feet.

Together, arm in arm as lovers do, they walked back to the hotel. The grass tickled gently and together they softly spoke of things that were and weren't, that could be but weren't entirely and she was glad of the company, of the friendship, of the love she never outright demanded to have returned and she was content. This was contentment, she told herself, a warm glow in the pit of her stomach that said without words how happy she was.

And how much she knew she had to lose if she failed her duty.

Tifa held the door open for her and she slipped inside, rubbing her arms. Down the long hallway, Tifa's room was two doors up from her own - Aerith had been recovering so they'd all taken single rooms to avoid anything untoward happening, especially as they'd spent so long tied down in one place because of Cloud's slow recovery. When Tifa paused by her door, Aerith smiled.

"This is goodnight then," Tifa said, putting her hand on the handle. "I'll see you in the morning?"

"Wait..." she said, putting her hand over Tifa's. "...I don't want to be alone tonight. Can I sleep with you?"

"I... dreams?"

"Not just that... I... want... to be with you," she stumbled over it and blushed, to her very eartips no doubt, but grateful the dark hallway hid it well. There was silence bar the indrawn and shaking breath of Tifa, as if she hardly dared to believe she had heard those words spoken to her.

"I don't mind," Tifa said slowly, voice cracking and wavering with uncertainty.

So once Tifa had gathered her wits enough to fit the key into the lock with heavily shaking hands, Aerith followed her into the warmth of a dark room heated only by a small brazier in the corner. Unlike many hotels in Midgar, Gongaga didn't have electricity, so lived a simple life with simple means, something Aerith truly appreciated. Except for times like this, when the room didn't seem any warmer than the hallway outside it.

Suddenly hands were chafing her arms, trying to bring blood up to warm her, suffuse her and she knew it was Tifa just behind her, stood very close. Close enough that she dimly realised that her shoulders pressed into the chest of the taller, well endowed girl. Blush rising, she looked over her shoulder.

"I have a nighty you can borrow," Tifa murmured, lowering her eyes and letting go. She moved to the bed and tugged out her backpack.

_Do it_.

Telling herself to do it and _actually_ doing it were two different things entirely. So as Tifa rummaged for her belongings, she started to remove her jacket, then her boots which clattered to the floor. Tifa mumbled something, digging deeper into the backpack. Grateful she wasn't being watched, Aerith swallowed and started undoing the buttons. Soon, without much to hold it to her, being of such a boyishly slim body, it slid to the floor and she stepped out of it. Before Tifa could produce anything remotely nightwear like, she crossed the distance and pressed herself this time, to her back. Naked.

Tifa stiffened.

"Aerith?"

"...I want, to be _with_ you," she repeated, stressing it more.

The girl in her arms, broken, imperfectly perfect to her in every way possible, turned to look upon her, heat on her face, and she kissed her. She kissed her softly, despite the tears she knew that would come and was thrilled when she was kissed back, felt arms slide about her and guide her blindly to the bed where after moments of being alone, she was rejoined once again by Tifa, but this time she could feel the dimpled flesh of the scar rub against her own skin, the minute nicks and cuts as she ran her fingers up the strong arms that swept about her willingly, loving- arms to which she surrendered herself.

With the first kiss that left her lips for the curve of her neck she heard the whisper return; "I want to be with you always," and with the tears came the laughter. Delighting in the new sensation as her heart beat wildly on her fragile ribcage.

Their touches were unsure, their words soft so no one else could hear and pressed close together, she saved the night for Tifa Lockhart alone...

-----------------------------------

Grey dawn betrayed her.

She was dressed and sat on the edge of the bed, turning the red materia which Tifa had given her a long time ago over and over in her hands. The fighter, the beautiful girl who had given her stars and delight, joy and love all in one tightly wrapped up heart felt night, lay sleeping. She was always a heavy sleeper when they slept close together, dead to the world because she was close by.

Aerith had already unhooked all of her materia, set aside her potions and baubles, given back the precious armaments they had laden her with for her health and now only she and the weapon Tifa had uncovered from the soil inside the Temple of Ages, the Princess Guard, remained.

She spoke quietly, knowing nothing could rouse the sleeping woman - not a girl, a woman. Last night had proven them both capable of owning such a title.

"I'm sorry. You said a long time ago that I stopped a clock for you, but mine has been ticking down until this moment. Somewhere in the North, that's where I have to go. Please, wait for Cloud to wake up, wait for him. When he's awake, then you may come and find me, because I'll be ready... it'll all be ready. I'll make you proud. I'll stop him..." tears spilled again and she clasped her hand hard about the materia.

"For us. Because for the first time, I have something to fight for. Friends, you... I'll fight for it. I'm not strong, Tifa, I know I'm not. Look at me... I couldn't snap a chopstick if I tried... but inside, where my heart is. I'll build a fortress so he can't get in and give you a key. I'll find a way, you'll see. I'll find a way where no one else can."

She touched the pale face of Tifa Lockhart.

"I'll be with you."

...and into the grey dawn, Aerith Gainsborough left.


	20. Chapter 20

_(( A/N - the other half of a double chapter update! Gasp! Only a few more chapters to go... I hope you enjoy this... PS: tissue boxes are available from the concessions stand ;-) ))_

**20: Heart's Twilight**

_Love of mine,  
__Someday you will die  
__But I'll be close behind,  
__I'll follow you into the dark._

_No blinding light,  
__Or tunnels to gates of white;  
__Just our hands clasped so tight,  
__Waiting for the hint of a spark..._

_...If Heaven and Hell decide, that they both are satisfied  
__Illuminate the 'No's on their vacancy signs.  
__If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks  
__Then I'll follow you into the dark..._

_- Death Cab for Cutie_

-----------------------------------------

"Aerith, Aerith!" she called and threw open the door, "Happy V...alentines...day..."

But the room was empty.

The bed, clean from the night as Aerith had slept in her bed, was undisturbed. Sat on the bed was Aerith's backpack with the embroidery of flowers that she had picked out because she loved the floral designs as they reminded her of her own garden back home. A small stock pile of brightly glowing materia was heaped by the bag, surmounted by the heavy enchanted bangle they'd bought her to try and bolster her weak constitution at Cosmo Canyon and the necklace she wore, the amulet to help her focus on materia with more clarity and raise her synergy rate with the chunks of crystallised mako. There was however, no weapon, no food rations and only the pale sunlight coming in from outside, flooding into the room that was lonely.

"...Aerith...?" she called softly, stepping into the room. The fragile rush of emotions that had boiled into enduring passion last night had left her giddy all morning, blushing at everything as though she were a girl of fourteen again and just realising her dreams to be loved and to love in turn. At the sound of her name, there was only heavy silence.

Tifa dropped her hand, the velvet box still curled tightly into her hand when she heard her name being called frantically from the communal room where everyone normally retired after a late brunch. Her footsteps were hollow as she unwillingly left the empty room behind for the cool corridor. Cloud was still out cold in his room and without thinking, she closed the door to the room that was Aerith's behind her - old habits dying hard.

The walk to the communal room wasn't long, but she dragged her feet, tucking the box back into her small side pack along with where she stored her usual assortment of battle items, potions and a map of the area as their designated tracker alongside Red, who had the best sense of natural direction of the group.

As she stepped inside, she swung her gaze from the wildly crying Yuffie, to the shocked faces of Barrett, Cid and Red, all clustered in a group around the small table. Going closer, a metallic hand closed about her bare arm and hauled her to a stop, breath on her shoulder and the tickle of hair reminding her that it was Vincent who had grabbed her to halt her for some reason.

"Tifa," he grated as gently as possible, "Be strong."

"I am strong," she said in puzzlement. "What's wrong?"

"_Tifaaaaa-ha-haaaa_..." the ninja girl sobbed, crossing the distance to throw herself in a huge, weeping mess upon the fighter. Tifa juggled the girl as best she could, whilst looking from Vincent to Barrett, then to Cid. It was Cait who spoke finally, his voice quiet despite the terrible announcement he made.

"Tifa, Aerith's gone."

---------------------------------------

_The connection was hard to establish, despite her magic being strong, but finally, after two days she managed it and waited for him. The dream was his technically, so his voice echoed into the darkness as she projected the imagery about him, leaf by leaf._

_He was knelt, holding his head as if afraid all things inside would spill out._

_"...what did I do?"_

Poor little Cloud, stuck in the nightmare that he doesn't know how to escape from. _She wove the magic deftly, touching his soul, encouraging him to wake up and remember._

_"I don't remember anything..."_

_She persevered, long after many would have given up hope, she clung to the hope she could still make everything right, she could still save people. She would._

_"My memory... since when...? If everything's a dream, then don't wake me!"_

_She sighed. Self pity was a really patience trying emotion to indulge in, so much so that even her limitless patience felt tested harshly by his bitter reprisal of his own character and self worth. She decided to speak; her voice always seemed to bring some clarity in the darkness of his world._

_"Cloud, can you hear me?"_

_He uncurled and looked around the world she presented to him - a pathway dappled with shadows and light, the trees of a mysterious green and their trunks eaten with_ _moss that had grown over centuries, leading to a slight rise ahead where beyond all he could see was light, all that she wanted him to see was the light at the far end of the tunnel. He looked about, red rimmed eyes and looking confused, just a lost little boy._

_"Yeah, I can hear you... sorry about what happened."_

_She appeared then to him, floating down on the air until she paused with a slight bump on the path, skirts floating to settle around her. She smiled then, a lopsided smile, crooked with feeling and she bent forward a little, outstretching a finger as if to waggle it. "Don't worry about it."_

_"I can't help it..."_

_"Oh?" She straightened up and started walking off, behind a tree, then paused and looked back, "...then... why don't you really worry about it? ...and let me take care of Sephiroth... so you don't have a breakdown, okay?"_

_She vanished behind that tree and then jumped out from behind another one, enjoying playing imaginary tag with the physical impossibilities of this half dreamed world. She smiled as he looked around, finally taking in the strange place that flooded his dream state, his blue eyes wide and trying to focus on one thing at a time, until he gave up and looked towards her plaintively, "Uh... what is this place?"_

_She laughed._

_Bright like silver, she laughed and tucked her hands behind her back, "This forest leads to the City of the Ancients... and is called the Sleeping Forest. It's only a matter of time before Sephiroth uses Meteor. That's why I'm going to protect it. Only a survivor of the Cetra, like me, can do it. This secret is just up here. At least it should be. ...I feel it. It feels like I'm being led by something. Then, I'll be going now. I'll come back when it's all over."_

_So saying, she turned her back on him and purposefully ran towards the light, not pausing, not stopping, not halting even when she heard him call out her name, felt him trying to change the dreamscape so he could follow. But with a plunge into the water of her natural dreams, the hymn of the planet in the dark of deepest sleep, she left him there to figure out what to do. Alone._

_It was for the best._

-------------------------------------

He woke, to her eternal relief.

For the past two days of horrible, endless waiting she had began to formulate the strange idea that perhaps shaking him until his brains rattled around inside his skull would be a favourable idea, just listening to the empty, hollow sound it would make. Then his eyelids had fluttered open and his lips parted in a parched fashion, skin attempting to stick unto itself and he whispered something lost below her hearing in the white noise that was quickly consuming all rational reason.

She knew she looked a mess. For the past two days, she had been completely inconsolable at Aerith's sudden disappearance, clutching the small scrap of a note she'd left behind in her neat, perfect handwriting that Tifa had come to associate with the diary she scrawled in, then smiled up at her cheekily when she tried to see all those secrets; each evening filled with tears, no appetite and no will to drink water, just staring mutely at the stars and wishing it would all be a dream and she would wake up. The words on the note were engraved in fire across her soul:

_"I'll be back, when it's all over. So just wait for me. Love, Aerith."_

Barrett avoided looking at her, both the unofficial organisers for the group in a time of panic such as this. Barrett had taken surprising command of them in their milling, setting them to practical uses with an air of knowledge from his years as a miner in the hills of Corel. Tifa had taken it upon herself to try every magic, every phrase, and every single bit about natural muscle massage she had learned from Zangan to try and rouse Cloud from his dead stupor, so they could finally move.

It had worked well enough, she supposed.

"You look like you was havin' a nightmare," Barrett rumbled, pulling back as Cloud sat up slowly in the bed, lifting his hand to cup his temple, spikes of blonde hair sticking through his fingers like rays of sunshine, brightly formed in the dim dark of the room he'd slept in without moving for almost a month. Yet despite this, his sleep had been guarded by the magic of the Ancient to keep his body healthy. Aerith had called it a Slow Regeneration spell that some old healers used to 'sleep' through quiet periods in history, but the technique was almost gone. The thought of Aerith made her eyes prickle furiously... "How are you feeling?"

"I... seem to be okay." Cloud's voice was dry, raspy from lack of water to wet his vocal chords upon and lubricate his tongue correctly. But it seemed touched with a sense of detachment she thought, self imposed detachment.

"That's good... man... I didn't know what was gonna happen."

The blond looked at the mountainous man then Tifa cut across with businesslike tones, trying to keep her own voice level, firm and unyielding; "You know, Aerith is _gone_." Did she sound accusatory? Good. Might as well make him bleed inside where no one could see for it.

Cloud flinched at her name, guilt rising in his blue eyes and almost instantly she felt ashamed of herself. Barrett nodded his agreement, gesturing to the windows where the curtains were half drawn, "Everybody's out looking for her."

"..." He closed his eyes in pain, and then whispered, "City of the Ancients. Aerith is headed there..."

"By _herself_? Why did she go by herself? Hey, we're goin' too!" He looked at Tifa.

_The City of the Ancients? Where is that?_

She nodded back to Barrett - of course they would be going. If she had to drag Cloud there by his groin, then so be it, but they would be going there. Of course... assuming someone had any idea where 'there' was...

"Only the Ancients, _only_ Aerith can save us from Meteor."

"Then we **must** go," She said suddenly; her voice pitched itself between downright commanding and pleading, leaning over to try and fix him with her dark eyes that appeared reddish tinted more than usual in the dim light. "What'll I... um... what'll we do if something happens to Aerith? If... If Sephiroth finds her..." She couldn't finish that.

"Sephiroth... already knows."

The blow of ice to her heart was almost too much to bear and she shied away, clasping a hand to her chest. She stared at the bent head of Cloud in horror. Barrett questioned why he was still sitting about, and all she could murmur through stiff lips frozen with fear for the safety of her lover, "Let's go, Cloud."

"No!" He shook his head, then grasped it, "What if I lose it again? If Sephiroth comes near me I might..."

"Yeah, god-damn it," Barrett folded his arms and reared up almost, to his full height so he imposed his shadow down on Cloud, a shadow of judgement. "It's cuz' of you that damn Sephiroth got his hands on the Black Materia in the first place. It's your damn fault!"

"My... fault?"

"I know you got problems... hell, we all do. But you don't ever understand yourself. But you gotta understand that there ain't no gettin' offa this train we're on, till we get to the end of the line."

Seeing that this tactic was getting nowhere with the stubborn blond, she tried from a different angle despite the pain searing in her heart, "Cloud, we came this far... Aren't you going to settle up with Sephiroth?"

"No," he almost sobbed, "I'm afraid. If this keeps up I might go crazy. I'm afraid..."

Barrett gave a disgusted snort and stomped to the door, flinging it open and snapping back in his deep voice, "Just a damn jackass, that's what you are... Yo, jes' think about it... How many people in this world do ya think really understand themselves? People get depressed in life because they don't know what's up. But, they go on living. They don't run away... Isn't that how it is?" And so saying, he left, slamming the door behind him.

Tifa stared at the door, then at the broken figure of their leader, slumped over in the bed and found only pity and fear in her heart instead of rage, instead of jealous anger. There was nothing, only a terrible coldness in the pit of her stomach to replace everything, and beyond hope, she murmured, "...You... will go with us... right Cloud? Cause we'll be going... with, or without you."

She turned to follow Barrett and then added, even softer that Cloud had to move his head to hear her, "You're not the only one feeling bad, you know? She means a lot to us... and it'll be alright, because we're all with you. Think on that..." She closed the door after herself and stayed there, eyes drifting to the door of Aerith's empty room and her ears trying to lock out the confused and torn murmurings of Cloud Strife in the room she had vacated, just behind her.

_Aerith. With or without them, I'll find you. I'm your hero after all..._

----------------------------------

She found the place easily enough, after making her way through the dappled forest, hidden below the visible world it presented those not chosen, not desired to see the secrets it held. Below was a city of crystal and in the centre there rose a monolith, an altar where she knew that she should be. Kneeling there, casting off her weapons and materia, the red blink of Titan fluttering briefly in her mind to summon a sad smile from her, she touched the only other materia she had left on her and then settled onto the unyielding marble and crystal altar to pray...

_**Child, who comes to seek, who travels the Planet, three questions ye shall be asked and answer well, for truths you have discovered in the world.**_

_I will answer, Planet_.

_**The first question; what would you seek me for?**_

_...Planet, the question is a difficult one, so forgive me if my words are clumsy and hard to understand. I myself, am only half Cetra, yet even with this knowledge I am aware of the presence of someone called Sephiroth travelling the Planet as I am. His existence is a sickness on the pulse of life and threatens yet all that I would strive to keep, all that is. He seeks Meteor to destroy you. I seek Holy to save you. Holy, the counter measure for Meteor. I seek Holy..._

-----------------------------------

"The Sleeping Forest is well named..."

The excavator rambled on and she frantically pushed a hand through her hair, almost hopping from foot to foot. It had taken them a day of hard travel to even reach this point from Gongaga, not to mention the extra hour they had taken to persuade Cloud it was in his best interest to ensure that Aerith was safe. Then Yuffie had become travel sick so a half hour break was approved quickly after she vomited on Red.

But time was ticking away too slowly as they lingered, Yuffie trying to peek into the chests hidden with finds in them, hands at work - Cloud nodding to the man who droned on and on about a harp or something that they needed to move through the forest. Then, with the sort of smile that peddlers save for total suckers, offered him a slimy sort of deal where he'd dig up the harp if he would cough up the cash for explosives and people to dig for it. He even suggested an overnight stay, but at the black look on her face, Cloud had politely declined the offer, saying that as soon as it was unearthed they would have to hurry on.

So they lingered and loitered - Yuffie by now having robbed several workers of their cash (_when she walked, she jingled like a toy store's door) _and this gave Tifa time to wear her boots down, furrow in her brow. If everything everyone had said was right, and Vincent's old Turk's knowledge, even Cait's agreement; that the city would then be just beyond one silly forest that put travellers into a restful sleep as a means of protecting the wisdom and secrets of the Ancients who lay it there.

A city where Aerith was.

A city where she had to get to.

"Don't worry, won't be long," Cait offered helpfully, as she leaned on his soft body without much else to say to him.

"Won't it be?"

"..."

"Cait... you said their stars were perfect together." Her eyes crinkled with worry at the corners, "She never said once that she loves me. You know? I wonder... ...had I not been in the way... am I just a falling star in the path of their destiny? What _am_ I?"

"You're the girl with a locked up secret wish," the mog chortled.

She blew at her fringe of dark hair, aggravated at his words but seeing some truth in them. Her locked up secret wish. Her hand strayed to the pouch at her side and patted the ring; a diamond one, set with two emeralds. They reminded her of Aerith's eyes. Pretty eyes for such a pretty girl. She could almost hear her laughing and stood upright, but as a woman walked past laughing softly, her heart sank back from elation into gnawing worry again.

_You're far away, Aerith. But don't worry... we'll be there soon. I swear it. Just hold on for me!_

The cry rose up, "And we have the harp!"

-----------------------------------

_**A reasonable answer, Child. The danger, I know of it.**_

_He must be prevented. I will do everything I can as the last ancient, the last Cetra, even if my blood is mixed._

_**Cetra, humans, Cousins of a sort**._

_I am ready for the next question._

_**Then answer me this, Child; Why would you seek the power of Holy, the power of life itself?**_

_That answer is simple, yet perhaps hard to understand too. A difficult answer, one clouded by emotion. I have lived in this world, and seen many things, good and bad. But for every bad act, there are two miracles, two good acts to balance it out. I have grown to love this world, beyond doubt. I have come to understand what it is that makes people special, and worth saving. I have come to acquire friendship, deep companionship, connections strong that tie me to a thousand lives... I have come to love, when love was a strange thing. I am no longer... alone... and that is why, so others can once have the future to experience it. Because Cloud needs time to grow; Because Barrett needs time with Marlene; Because Vincent must yet atone for his sins; Because Cid needs to see love for what it is; Because Red must yet face his own trials; Because Yuffie will be a lovely young lady; Because Cait may yet become worth trust... ...because... Tifa Lockhart..._

-----------------------------------

She slumped tiredly on the bed.

The City of the Ancients was vast. It was a world built of shell and crystal and old driftwood gathered from goodness only knows where. The life stream, the life force of the Planet seemed to effuse every bit of this sacred place that hummed with a song just beyond her hearing.

Aerith had once told them that humans and Cetra had been one race, simply Cetra. Over time, humans elected to stay in a single place and no longer migrate - a truth that Sephiroth had also related to Cloud. On some distant level, they were genetically related in the smallest sense of the word. But humans had lost the ability to hear the Planet and its song, had lost the natural talent with magic. But in this place, it throbbed with a song that her ears almost strained to pick up. She supposed that the song was so strong that even her distant blood knew it was calling out something.

The house they were in was a curl of a shell, replete with three beds that looked as though they hadn't had anyone sleep in them for half a century, yet they remained very much in tact without dust or disturbance from creatures. Yuffie was rubbing tiredly at her eyes - they'd tried to sleep but no one could summon the ability to do so, least of all Cloud. He had walked around in a dream the whole time it had taken them to walk from the bone village where the dig was likely still carrying on, to this place.

She glanced across the faces of her companions, stoic and excited alike. When her eyes met those of Cloud, she tried to smile but he grimaced back. She shook her head, trying to block out that strange humming that was producing a strange headache. And then she heard it, almost like a hot lancet to her brain:

_"...Because... Tifa Lockhart..."_

**_Aerith_**!

It was without a doubt the voice of her beloved Ancient, cutting with clarity. It was then that everyone else sort of straightened, as if each had heard something different to the other and where looking around them. Cloud however, thundered down the stairs, leaving them all standing in bewilderment.

She trained her dark eyes on Vincent, "Did you hear it too?"

"Aerith's voice," he affirmed with a rasp.

"She's close by. I wonder how come we all heard her speaking." She rubbed her temple.

The cloaked man gestured to one of the chunks of crystal that was present in every house - this one was glowing and pulsing as if with a heartbeat, full of life. "These stones seem to transmit and amplify the voice of the Planet. I think we heard what she was thinking to the Planet."

"Is that possible?"

"Who knows?" He shrugged.

"Not to break into the party, but Cloud _is_ standing at the crossroads," Red advised and she clapped a hand to her fist.

"Why can't he ever stay still," she hissed in frustration, "Let's go gang."

Together they filed from the house and into the dark outside, the heavy sky overhead hung tremulous with stars and the faint skyline bled with the light of far distant civilisation, far away from this fairy world. Cloud turned, at a crossroad of the shell pathways and pointed to the large shell in the centre, "I heard her, she's in there."

Tifa nodded, "...alright then. Let's get her."

-------------------------------------

_**A suitable answer**._

_Thank you, Planet._

_**Now, my final question... what would you give up to achieve your goal, and why?**_

_I..._

--------------------------------------

The city underneath the world above was beautiful, breathtaking and strange. It was like a whole other world where magic reigned supreme and finally, each person could hear the song of the Planet _(but Yuffie claimed she could hear it just fine when in the village itself)._ They stopped at the bottom of the last set of stairs, eyes training to the figure on the altar and its bent head.

"**Aerith!**" Tifa called out happily and made to jump the steps up to her, but Cloud was there first. She subsided in her eagerness and paused, one foot on the bottom step as she looked up to the altar and watched.

Cloud jumped to the last step and came to a rest by where the Ancient was still deep in prayer, hands clasped and her eyes closed with a suspicious glint on her smooth cheeks. He circled her and looked down to where she and Yuffie were stood by the bottom step, the others at a higher ledge, watching them from a safe distance.

Then he was drawing his sword, raising it above his head...

"_Cloud, **stop**_!" screamed the Wutai ninja.

"**_What are you doing_**?" Tifa shouted with sudden anger.

He shook his head and dropped the blade, stepping back, "Ugh... what are you making me do?"

It was as if reality suspended itself. There was a moment of strange clarity as the Cetra girl unfolded her hands, lifting her head up to stare at Cloud and he, self-revulsion filling his eyes, stared back helplessly, hands slowly reaching out.

She moved her lips, _"...I have done it."_

Then those eyes of bright green shifted and pierced Tifa as she stood watching. A sharp blow to the heart as she simply looked at her, eyes filled with emotion and tears that trickled down her cheeks. A sixth sense made her want to scream 'look out' or possibly leap up there and do something, move her... but as the flower girl smiled, there was a rush of blackness, a rustle of leather and...

...and then there was the end of a six foot sword, slender and deadly, glittering silver, piercing her middle.

Aerith's eyes widened and her hands lifted in shock, then she winced. The blood could audibly be heard, spattering on the stone and dripping with repetitive noise. A stain covered the front and back of the pink dress rapidly, so rapidly that Tifa tried her hardest not to focus on it. Tried to pretend it was just a dream. Pinching her thigh seemed to do no good...

Sephiroth, the dark demon of her nightmares tugged his sword free whilst smirking.

The Ancient lurched, hair ribbon suddenly flying free with the shock and a small materia which emitted a glow which was a delicate shade of green escaped, chinking down the steps towards the water. Even as she fell down, the flower girl reached as if to stop the materia, then she smiled again. But her eyes never once left Tifa as she breathed in painfully, then out, then...

...then...

...then she breathed no more.

And Tifa's locked heart shattered.

---------------------------------------

_**Child?**_

_...I would give up everything. And I would do it for her... always, for my hero..._


	21. Chapter 21

_(( A/N: Yes, this chapter has scenes all mixed together. This is because they're not central to the story really… enjoy!))_

**21: Sans Seraph**

_While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die. Leonardo Da Vinci_

_--Suggested listening: Death - Edward Scissorhands Soundtrack by Danny Elfman_.

------------------------------------

_This world is a crazy place._

_It holds on to you, even when everything is over._

_What is it that makes such things endure?_

_But purest of all things, sweetest of all agonies, is the love within life itself. Is the knowledge that life is fleeting, that at any given moment, life might be taken away from you. So you cling hard to it, you cling as hard as you can to this life. And when you cling and leave those marks, impressions of yourself, you never fade._

_In the hearts of loved ones, in the memories they continue to hold dear to them, locked up secret wishes that no one can ever know... why can't they know? I think... you shouldn't keep those things to yourself. Mostly because you might never know when life is over and you've missed all your chances. Happiness? That is fleeting too. So like life, grab it by the hand and tug it closer, closer and even then, closer still. That the heart of fire that is happiness, that is life, burns you._

_You will see things. You will do things. Each one stranger and yet more wonderful than the last, a world of unfolding possibilities..._

_...so live it. Live it all. Be it all. Be everything that you can be!_

_And I will know, because I am watching over you. One day, you'll see it. You'll understand._

_I know you will._

_Ah, but isn't this world such a crazy, crazy place?_

------------------------------------

She was a broken puppet with her strings cut. A face marked with slight liquid hints of viridian hue were the grave testimony to the last smile she held on her lips where bloody froth had bubbled and cauterised the skin red in remembrance. The redness mocked the flush of life that would have suffused her, if she were only sleeping and with those eyes closed so peacefully, long lashes touching her cheeks gently, an onlooker would have been forgiven for making that mistake. Her hair was unravelling from the high braided ponytail she wore each day, the pink ribbon had slipped to the floor and highlighted itself against the bloody drag marks left from moving her to the side of the altar. Her pink dress was ruined by the red stain, darkened to brown, but her hands were clasped over her middle.

She stood to the side, trying hard to maintain some composure, a shred of dignity.

But whatever face she gave the outside world, inside, she was bleeding and dying. Surely as her beloved angel had fallen with that smile, that lovely, lovely smile for her alone, she too was losing every shred of faith left in this world. The light shattering down from the heights onto a city chipped from crystal was cold and no comfort; the lurid glow of the mako suffused water not helping either.

So she wrung her hands together and focused on that pain, because that pain was real, that pain was here and now.

The faces of the others wore masks of grief, from the openly weeping Yuffie who was hugging Red and soaking his fiery fur with her helpless, heart broken tears - Red wasn't displeased, as he howled mournfully, notes without aim, pressing his shoulder into that of the Ninja girls to try and award her some comfort. Vincent, Cait and Cid were lined to the other side, their faces devoid of anything else except such bitter sadness. To her right was Barrett, the rock of muscle, the brief declaration of sanity she could cling to in this storm of dying.

"Aerith..." Cloud whispered. He was stood before her, staring down at her peaceful form with tears openly burning his cheeks in tracks of salt water, spotting his front and curdling in the blood pool that lay still by his steel capped toe. His voice was broken and she knew, despite all her jealousy, Cloud had loved her too. Cloud had lost too.

So she couldn't even summon the tiniest shred of apathetic anger, watching him kneel close by her and brush a wayward lock of golden brown hair from her beautiful face. Instead she turned away, cupping a hand to her mouth and trying hard not to weep, narrowing her eyes on the prickle behind her eyelids.

What did she do now?

"Tifa," grunted the ebon skinned terrorist, but she didn't look at him, focusing away from the scene of the carnage, "I'm so sorry, Tifa. If we'd only known, if she'd only said something."

"She never would have," she replied in a frozen voice from numb lips, marvelling at how steady her voice sounded. "You know how Aerith was. She wanted us to be safe... even if it cost her... our future."

"But it doesn't take away your pain though, does it?"

"No, it doesn't." Tifa closed her eyes, "So don't shower me with clichés, or platitudes. Don't offer me cold comfort, I don't need it."

"..."

"I...want her back," she choked on the whisper, the tears finding a treacherous way down her cheeks to spill over her fingers and the metal edge of her formidable gauntlets. "I want to be back there... when she sat on the slide, next to Cloud and I was riding away on the cart with the chocobo, to see Don Corneo. I want to be there, so I can say to her; 'You can't come with us, because you'll have to die.' And face never falling in love..."

Barrett's hand was a heavy, comforting weight on her shoulder, "Could you have lived without loving her?"

"I-if it meant she was alive... yes, oh gods and hells, yes..."

"Then you would be willing to give up a lot in turn for her." He smiled and she glanced up at his face, kind despite how fearsome it could be when he was angry. "Isn't that what she did, for you?"

She hadn't noticed what Cloud was doing, so when she flicked her eyes across, she was surprised to see that he was carrying her cradled to his chest; the flower girls head lolled without muscle tone to keep it upright and her nose rested on his shoulder. With each step her hair tugged a little more loosely from the binding ribbon. After a moment of watching Tifa realised that he was carrying her out of this place and bent to take the pink ribbon as it fell to the floor.

_I'll wear this, so I can always keep something of you with me, beyond my memories of you_.

One by one, they slowly came away from loitering by the pool of sticky blood and up towards the moonlit area just beyond the shell house where they had descended the stairs to the altar, where Aerith had faced the worst few moments of her life. The area was small with a pool of radiant green water by a dip in the bank to lead into that lake which seemed to radiate an air of sanctity about it. It was there that Cloud paused.

Tifa tucked the ribbon in next to the small velvet black box and then tilted her head.

After a moment of deciding, Cloud stuck his foot into the water and began to step forward. It was upon this motion that alarm bells went off into her head; was he planning on making her grave this watery den, where no light would reach her beautiful face? Hadn't Aerith said her dreams were filled with water? That she was falling, drowning...

Horror crept into her cold heart and she clapped hands over her mouth as she opened it to emit a silent scream.

_Almost months ago, you told me you dreamed of the water. You dreamed of falling into it... you knew... You really knew on some distant level of your soul that if you came here, there was a high possibility you'd die. 'Not Long Now'. That's what you said. That's what you were trying to tell me, only I couldn't hear you. Aerith... don't go!_

And she was moving too then, her feet splashing in the water as she flung out a hand and grasped Cloud's arm roughly, dragging him back. They both stood to their knees in the water, it was cold and clear, but she ignored the chill creeping up her legs. She stared into his grief stricken blue eyes.

"Don't do it, please don't do it - not here."

"..."

"Please," she pleaded, trying to make him understand, "She dreamed of it, she told me but I didn't know - she knew, Cloud, she knew all along but was too frightened to admit this would happen. Don't let her go down there! Don't do it!"

"...Tifa... she has to rest now. We'll do the rest for her."

"No," she breathed, "Don't you _dare_..."

"..." with sad eyes he turned and carried on. She tried to hang on but her grip slipped from his arm.

Taking several wading steps after him, anger and fear warring in her throat, Cid was suddenly there; a compassionate arm dragging her from the water, to the aid of Vincent's strength as they both fought to keep the fighter from diving headlong at Cloud. She struggled hard against them, pulled back from the watery edge and with this, she flailed like a madwoman. She kicked out, screaming, "**NO**!" so hard that her vocal chords felt as though they were ripping.

And with each step he took, she died a little more inside.

He lowered her.

_...tick..._

The water pooled around her face, the smile still there, golden brown hair making a murky halo in the clear water.

_... ...tick... ..._

His hand pressed to his middle to stem the convulsions of his own sobbing. She was weeping, held up only by the two men as she collapsed, watching her angel sink, or perhaps, fly away.

_...ti..._

----------------------------------------

They battled across the wintry mountains and she felt her own despair keener than any knife. She took pains to hide it, trying to remain cheerful, trying to fill the void Aerith had left in the 'bubbly' side of their misfit group of travellers but never more aware of her own deep loss, rooted in her heart. That they slogged through snow and adverse conditions meant little to her, only that soon they came to a small and sleepy little town in the heart of the snow capped peaks and there, rested a while.

Curios and feeling intent about something, she went looking around the town, watching the children throwing snowballs and trying hard not to picture the future of her and Aerith together. Perhaps they would have adopted a child? That would have been good. Aerith would have made such a wonderful mother, making their children aware that the Planet needed to be cared for, taking care of nurturing life whilst she ran the business and kept the love of her life happy and whole.

Frozen tears were drying on her cheeks when she stumbled across the small house, holed away to the back of the town and inside there, she sat on a bed that had gathered enough dust for ten centuries to feel proud of. When the sobbing fit had passed, grateful that no one had seen her, she stopped to actually look around the strange room with all the gadgets and components, the telescope pointed to the far northern pole, the beds and the desk, littered with almost crumbling sheets of paper and somewhat worrying bloody patches on the floor close to a device which looked similar to that a video machine.

She came over curiously and peered all around it, then about the house into which she called out in a voice still damaged from her wild screaming fit; "Hello?"

There was not a single answer, only the quiet dust continuing to pile up with unthreatened patience. Tifa shrugged and turned back to the machine, peering at the small slot and the many buttons which dotted the smooth, metal surface of it.

_I'm no good with machines, if Jessie were here, this wouldn't be a problem. Ah, I just know I'm going to mess this up!_

Wincing, and sniffling from both cold and subsiding tears, Tifa prodded at several buttons, peering up at the monitor after twelve or so passes when it flared into life with a slightly fuzzy recording. She could make out a woman and a man, talking together. As she watched, she listened to the woman talk about things that she had heard in many different incarnations before, about Jenova and her crash down landing onto the world, causing a terrible wound that had brought many Cetra together to try and repair it, and the subsequence virus that infected the race as a backlash.

The video cut off.

Disgruntled, she pressed a few more buttons and was pleased to be rewarded with another video. Chewing on a lock of hair as she watched intently, the woman spoke about things called Weapon and the danger of the Planet. If the Planet sensed great danger that would affect it, then these all powerful beings would be called upon to eradicate the threat from the face of the world. But it would judge what is good and what is bad. Then the woman mentioned that she was pregnant with the scientist's child.

There the video cut off again.

"What a strange piece of knowledge... an Ancient," Tifa breathed, and then as she was just about to go, something else caught the corner of her eye and she stopped.

A pile of discs littered the spot close by the monitor, but the one which had stood out was a pale green jewel case with the lettering on it which read: "Our daughter."

"They had a daughter?" Tifa smiled, reaching for the disc and pausing only briefly to wrestle with her guilt. Sure, it wouldn't be good manners to watch someone else's private moments, but she'd watched this far hadn't she? Besides, curiosity wasn't a bad thing and she was starting to warm to the strange couple who spoke of vast and great things that were beyond her simple life.

She pushed the disc onto the tray which popped out and once more, fought over the buttons with eager fingers to cajole life from the machine, sniffing a little. Then the screen came up and she glanced up with dark eyes, stepping back to take in the scene.

_"Filming, again?"_ The woman said. In her arms she cradled a bundle that squirmed about a little, a small arm reaching out to which she chuckled. The camera angled and zoomed into the back of her head as the scientist, a man in his thirties with neat brown hair and sparkling eyes but the loveliest smile joined them.

_"You know I can't resist filming."_

_"Maybe then she'll be a film star."_

They laughed together, so naturally that Tifa smiled too. Then the camera moved and she could see the baby, a beautiful baby. All babies are without saying, cute to some degree as a natural defence mechanism against the cruel world, but this baby was truly beautiful. She found herself going 'awww' without realising it. Then the man adjusted his glasses.

_"Aerith the film star, you think so? Why, with her half Cetra heritage, she can be anything."_

Tifa stopped breathing.

_"Then I just want her to be happy and healthy, isn't that enough?"_

The couple looked up and waved to the camera, cajoling the babe into waving. Already tucked about her was a pink swaddling, and in the hair of the mother was tied a bow of ribbon which a similar one now lay in her pouch. But the mother's face - it lacked the beautiful smile of the flower girl, she must have inherited that from her father - but the eyes... Ancient eyes, glowing with green life. Her looks were those of her mysterious origins, Cetra origins and there was no mistaking it. In some far flung town, sleep and forgotten by all but snow, she had found one of the few precious things that Aerith had always wanted to know.

"Oh Rissy," she gulped, pressing a hand to her chest as her vision blurred, "You were so **loved**."

------------------------------------

_Days pass. Experiences grow._

_We, as humans or as Cetra, we evolve. We become better, stronger, faster and sometimes sadly, harder. But these shallow breaths between the world and ourselves, between knowing and doing._

_Closing your ears to the static sound of life, blocking out the pain with smiles or with tears, pretending like life is charade that you can continue to mime in; you play a part in the vast theatre of life. But when it's time to consider your actions, what will you do then? You faced terror and left, silent, on the wings of despair as seemingly yet another person is taken from you._

_But I am here with you, so don't be afraid._

-------------------------------------

The blond witch tightened the straps that restrained her to the point of pain and she gritted her teeth against the taste of blood that curdled in her mouth from the slap handed out for her 'insolent' stare. She could only recall the meeting in the ShinRa building, long ago it felt like, when they had been looking for Aerith, and this rich bitch had chortled into a hand and fawned all over the president.

After all of that, they were pinned with blame once the Weapons had awakened in their crater in the frozen north, long after they had followed Sephiroth up great chasms of ice and down the slopes towards the Great Injury of the Planet which was still trying to heal itself. Even when they had helped them to escape, she was being strapped in here as the first victim of their faceless propaganda effort, left to die.

The door clanged shut and she heard the bolts locking.

Gas was a horrific way to go, slowly drifting off with nothing but the sound of your own choking to usher you into the life stream. Tifa bent her head and shook it, eyes closing with small marked lines of pain around her eyes. Was this it?

Was this everything that she had finally struggled for?

Death was her answer, it seemed. Death waited for her.

And where death was, there would be Aerith.

She smiled a sad little curve of her mouth, poisoned with the cold touch of failure. She was a failure after all of this.

_Sat on the slide with your pink dress hiked up to show your legs, staring at me with wide green eyes, over the shoulder of a man I once thought I loved, but now only pity and worry for. Capturing my heart so easily and leading me after you, after the gentle voice. Was this your destiny?_

_Did I get in the... way?_

_All those times; sweet times when I held your hand in either your innocence of my affections for you, or with the darkest knowledge of that deadliest attraction. Fun times, with hot chocolate or with the camera or that day where you pushed me into that lake? It was cold, but I laughed. Sad times; holding you when you wept from bad dreams, or told me all about Zack, your first boyfriend who by some strange twist of fate, was the same Zack who had been there on the very night my life had changed._

_I was in the way, wasn't I?_

_You and Cloud... I was just a sideline attraction. I was just a joke. Did you know the punch line for me?_

_So here it ends, and it's okay... because I loved you. You were my 'somebody'... and, I'm grateful... for all the time..._

Tears slid down her cheek and she bit on her lower lip, fighting the sob, knowing that Scarlet would die to hear her sobbing. No crying, there would be none of that. Like her beloved flower girl, she would face the end with her head held high. So she drew her head up and looked up even as the gas filled the chamber. The natural instinct to survive kicked in and so Tifa held her breath even as she heard pounding from the other side of the door - Barrett's voice and then footsteps, abandoning her.

After a few minutes where she coughed on the rancid air between helpless little intakes of breath, she lifted her eyes as something betrayed her eyesight - a flash of red.

_Giving up so soon? Not very heroine-like, is it?_

"...A-Aerith...?"

An almighty detonation filled the air and she was showered with bits of metal. Sound escaped into the small room and she hurriedly struggled free of her constraints and cupped hands over her mouth, peering up through the smoke that was suddenly boiling into the little room. Peeping just behind it was a massive rent in the metal with edges that were cooling from what looked to be some kind of high powered laser attack. She stared at it for a moment, and then as her lungs protested with a heaving cough, she narrowed her eyes and started up and out of the room.

Behind her the door clanged open and she glanced back as she hauled herself over the narrow jutting cut in the metal to see two soldiers in ShinRa uniform and Scarlet, sneering up at her in total disgust.

Unable to help herself and feeling inexplicably giddy (but that could likely be put down to the gas she had inhaled without meaning to) she pulled on the skin under her left eye and stuck her tongue out, then let go of the cut's edges, to shimmy down the side of the building. She came to a rest by the butt of the giant Junon cannon.

_Run then_... a voice urged her and she smiled.

With quickening steps, she broke into a run to the end of the cannon and then, stopped once she reached the wavering end. There was only the massive, roiling sea below her and behind her, she looked to see Scarlet was the only one to have caught up with her, surprising spry and agile in those tottering red heels and tight dress - but up close the unlovely, aging face was marred by an inexplicable hatred for her.

Tifa drew herself up and raised one single brow.

"Stuck up..." muttered the old hag, moving to slap Tifa's cheek. She almost didn't move quickly enough, half of the hand smacking on her skin to leave a red mark. As the Weapon's Development head drew her hand back with a smirk, Tifa lifted her own hand in turn. "Slapping match?" She sneered.

Tifa doubled her fist and punched her on the bridge of her nose.

In shock, Scarlet reeled back, clutching her broken nose and wailing in a loud voice. Tifa smirked and then cautiously wiped her hand down on the shiny barmaid skirt she wore, before retrieving the small pouch she normally wore from Scarlet's waist. A quick press of her fingers assured her that the velvet box was still inside and then she glared down at the hag.

"That'll teach you," she muttered, feeling nonsensical for saying it.

A rope flapped from nowhere suddenly with a great wind drifting up with it, fluttering her hair. She shaded her eyes, peering up towards the sky ship which hovered high above and the figures of Yuffie, Cait and Barrett waving down to her, urging her to grab the rope. So she took a running dive for it.

Her hands missed and slipped, so she winced, and as she was waiting to hit the waves she could have sworn that a pair of cool, soft hands reached over her own and pulled them into holding the rope. She grabbed on, blinking a few times as the world pulled away, but the fresh breeze sifted about her, and Tifa smiled.

----------------------------------

_Even when all seems lost, there is hope to go on._

_Even when all seems dark, there will be something to light your way._

_Even when love turns to hate, the memory of love will linger on._

_So in that darkness, I cannot help you at all, so you must do it._

_His dark heart, the shadows inside of him - I cannot push them aside from where I was, but here, I can show you this much. Once upon a time, in a world not so far away, there was a little boy... that little boy wanted to prove himself to the people he cared for and those that didn't care for him much at all. Because they all expected so much of him, he grew up feeling insecure and often like he was never going to be good enough for anyone. With this in mind, he left his village..._

_...one day, five years later, he comes home to his village. His best friend, a Soldier with a big sword on his back, tells him that it's alright to just be himself, to be shy and a little worried about how life can often give you lemons. But as he struggles with the idea of telling the girl from her icy throne what he wants to try and tell her, his superior goes mad. It's unexpected and a lot of people die._

_Afterwards, an evil doctor puts both him and his best friend into an experiment, hidden deep underneath the Mansion house. The best friend remains conscious most of the time, thanks to previous experiments upon him. So he escapes, taking the little boy with him. On the edge of the broken city, he dies saving his friend. The little boys mind is a mess of drugs and deficiencies, so he takes up the sword and part of his best friend's persona._

_...and becomes the Cloud Strife I met._

_But now, you know the truth, don't you? So don't be afraid._

_I'll guide you both from the Life Stream... because you don't belong here._

_Take care of him, because he can't take care of himself just yet... and stay smiling_...

-----------------------------------

_--One month later--_

She held onto his side, fearing for the worst as he breathed shallowly on the rock ledge, on his hands and knees. Sweat dripped down his knife keen profile and she studied the swathe of pale blond hair. His eyes were unfocused and if she didn't know better, she would say that he was weeping, that he was crying his heart out.

She was a violent mess of bruises, cuts and blood - her hair a wild and dusty tangle, her skin bloodlessly pale from exertion. Her limbs wouldn't cease shaking from the loss of energy after such a long fight and deep down, she knew the sound of Holy escaping was louder, stronger and soon it would flood past and push away everything in its way.

"Cloud," she said, "We have to go. Come on."

He nodded without looking up at her, getting numbly to his feet and swaying towards the ship which Cid was already fixing, bellowing orders to the rest of them as if they were his 'numbskull' crew. She glanced longingly back at the water and the shine coming from it, echoing up the cavern of the pole when she heard her name being called. So turning away from this strange and sacred place still littered with powerful Cetra magic, she hurried onto the Highwind and waited nervously.

She stood by the front panels that exposed the world, windows so thick that very little could shatter them. Beside her was Cloud and Red, Yuffie clinging to a panel close by Cait and both Cid and Barrett hanging onto the wheel for grim death. Only Vincent stood still as if the motions of the plane were a troublesome, yet ignorable thing to him. She clung to the railing around the front, noting that Red simply put his back to a raised panel so he would have no need to cling to anything.

With a jolt of power, the ship was flung from the vibrant core of life into the very sky and she winced; suddenly everything was white and she was sure her arms were going to pull right out of her sockets. Then, with a curse from behind her as the ship started flashing red lights and honking noises, she heard the tug of mechanical parts and the booster engines flared into life.

Slowly the ship righted its self and she opened her eyes, on her knees by the windows.

In the great beyond outside, the flood of white and pale green surged towards the town of Midgar, where Meteor had chosen to finally fall. She followed it with awe stricken eyes, the flowing motion of the watery like substance capturing her imagination and her broken heart, still broken, always broken forever more.

Without having a need to ask, Cid started to pilot the ship after the flood of light and she wiped an unsteady hand on her chin, the thin dribble of blood from where she'd bashed against the railing. Cloud stood upright beside her.

The ship was fast - and with Cid's skills it took them perhaps half an hour to follow the pathway of light to the city.

There Holy was circling underneath the huge chunk of Meteor, but the red energy of destruction seemed to be eating away at the power of Holy, pulling it into itself to be used and reused against the Planet. She shook her head and looked to Red who padded up close by her legs.

"It's too late, Holy is having the opposite effect."

"What about Midgar!" The stuffed mog squeaked from the back, "All the people, I had them take refuge in the slums... and now..."

"It's too late to worry about Midgar, we've got to worry about the Planet." Red snapped back.

"Holy," she said softly.

_What is good for the Planet._

_What is bad for the Planet._

_Holy judges this..._

Bugenhagen, Red's grandfather, had told them this not that long ago. It was when they had been hunting for the reason why Aerith had gone to the City of the Ancients and there they had found the secret she had known about - the secret of the ultimate white magic, Holy and that she was right - only she alone could summon it as Cetra if only in part. But such great magic had cost her life... They'd travelled further, willing themselves onward to complete her quest and more than ever before, Tifa had been certain - it was never about Cloud and Sephiroth, it was never about her pain or Barrett's past, or about ShinRa. It was all about Aerith, the Cetra and the struggle of the Planet to survive.

That's all this had been for, and always had been. So...

"Holy." Tifa repeated, "Bugenhagen said that the Planet judges what it considers bad for it. That if we were considered bad for the Planet, then it would take us from it too."

"Yeah, but not everyone can be bad for it," Cid said, hanging over the steering wheel. She looked back at him with sad, dark eyes.

"Aren't we all bad for it? The Planet had only one person left in the whole world who could speak with it, one very special girl. And in its eyes, we, as a race, persecuted her from youth, hunted her in adolescence and later, in early adulthood, let her die." She frowned, hand coming up to touch her scar gently in a rubbing motion, "You say that, yet we are a bad race. What is there left to believe in for the Planet, when we have done such bad things."

"You sound like you're going to just stand there and accept it."

"Don't get me wrong," she murmured, "I... miss her so much, like losing everything and having only bleakness left. But she wouldn't want me to wish for death! That's not like her... and I'll fight, I'll pray until the last moment, just like she did... but all I'm saying is... if we're judged bad news, then I can understand it, you know?"

"..."

Tifa turned her dark eyes back to the window as Cloud turned away, covering his face with a hand. "After all, she would understand too. Hey..." did her eyes betray her? She squinted at the tiny sparkle that had just shone across the starboard side and then looked back, surprise etched onto her beautiful face, "...what's that?"

Everyone turned to see what she was pointing at, a flicker of light. It was joined by several more, then more, building in crescendo until a song was audible, a song that awed the six senses and more. It flooded the day, the night and the sky as the light bled from the earth, winding its way across the land.

"_Life Stream_," Cloud whispered in awe.

Tifa cupped her hands to her mouth.

The light kept on, growing and winding its way over the land, over the mountains and through the seas. It kept on coming and coming, each strand the memory of a loved one, the feeling of togetherness and faces upturned the world over in awe at the sudden force rising up from the steam of life, pulsating across the land, filling everything with joy. Then it struck where Holy was fighting the Meteor and surged.

It pushed.

It denied.

A million voices cried out into the night, all seeking to live, all wishing another chance and with that wish, the power of the life stream pushed harder until the Meteor exploded harmlessly in a shower of whispers and light fragments, each one drifting down across the sky like falling stars.

Tifa uncovered her eyes after the explosion of light had vanished, tears falling down her cheeks. Around her, everyone just breathed and the ship whirred; the only sounds in the over-awed, dumbstruck silence that afflicted them all. She knew she was crying - hadn't she sworn she'd never cry? But this time, it felt so right to cry. It felt right, ever since she'd let a gentle voice and quiet but loving eyes get under her skin.

_This world_, she thought as she watched the sky, _is such a crazy place. I have gone... so far. Zangan would be proud. I think my parents would be proud too, of everything I have tried to accomplish. I might not have always been successful, but I did well enough. I did enough._

_Now if only you had stayed, instead of having to go, then life would be perfect._

_But I'll soldier on for you, my flower. I'll find my way without your light to guide me._

_...my hero, Aerith._

--------------------------------------

In the far depths of forever, a face tilted up in the water towards the showers of light that came down. It was like her dreams, and she heard them speaking as if by her shoulder. Her hair was a net that floated as she did, or maybe she was flying? It didn't really matter, the girl concluded, closing her eyes as her tears of happiness melded with the water, neither one distinguishable from the other.

And she smiled.


	22. Epilogue

_((A/N – It's the end of 'Love Not Often' and I want to thank everyone who has read this, everyone who bothered to comment and everyone who spilled a tear, not to mention Squaresoft for making such an incredible, moving and timeless game. May you all enjoy this epilogue.))_

**Epilogue: Love Not Often... But Forever**

_Cause you are my forever love  
__Watching me from up above  
__And I believe that angels breathe  
__And that love will live on and never leave_

_Fly me up to where you are  
__Beyond the distant star  
__I wish upon tonight  
__To see you smile  
__If only for awhile  
__To know you're there  
__A breath away is not far  
__To where you are_

- Josh Groban

------------------------------------

_--two years or so later --_

Fingers fell idle on the ivory keys, the notes hanging on for a moment longer then fading back into the silence of her room.

Today was a day that she didn't spend with people. Today was a special day that she kept for herself alone and usually sobbed like a lonely ghost into the pillow of her bedroom, fooling herself that when she woke, there would be no 'now', only the phantasm of yesterday when everything had been perfect, had been her life. So it was that Marlene was with her father, taking Denzel along for a visit. The bar was closed and Cloud was across the continent in Junon, doing a delivery mission for Reno who had finally talked him into it.

The home she made for herself above the bar of the new Seventh Heaven was enough. It was just enough. That was all she had ever wanted, to be just enough, to have just enough, to be happy. The bedroom was large enough for a three quarter bed, on the bed stand beside it was a cracked vase with pictures of flowers painted around the base and neck, hand crafted some time distant but carrying the precious life of water and flowers within the proud stature of it.

Without thinking, she pressed her fingers to the keys again, starting the melody over and over that played forever in her heart - a lonely and melancholy tune that did nothing to assuage her feelings of loss, her own feelings of guilt.

It had been a month or so since Cloud had fought the trio, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo - a real bunch of weirdoes if ever she had seen them, and believe her, she had seen plenty of weird freaks in her time with Avalanche. He had told her that in his dreams, sometimes even waking, Aerith had been reaching out to him. She remembered his expression as he said it and knew that he was still as much in love with the flower girl as Tifa was.

She could not fault him, nor in her compassion, could she take that away from him.

But almost hypocritically she demanded that he get his head from the clouds and get on with life - no amount of sighing would bring Aerith magically back.

She had realised this that very night when the sky had rained down the magic of Holy, when her heart hadn't precisely healed, but had found the strength to go on, being Aerith's hero even when the Cetra had passed on. Cloud had to realise too that the one thing Aerith wanted most from those she cared about was for them to live for her, to take the futures she had given up her own for. She wasn't selfish, so she didn't expect them to be surly and petty little children, throwing away this precious gift, back into her face to make her weep for such self pity.

So Tifa lived, whilst Cloud immersed himself in angst.

She worked hard by day being a surrogate mother to the child Denzel - even if fancy sometimes told her that Aerith would have been better, so she tried hard to emulate exactly what Aerith would have done - being kind and considerate, loving and caring, nurturing their interests and helping them to be expressive about themselves. So far she assumed she was managing fairly well, because Denzel was growing up to be a bright and intelligent child, despite his odd obsession with the 'coolness' of the angst ridden Cloud. By evening she worked harder in her bar, building up a business and serving drinks, cleaning and even helping people with problems. On the days she had off unlike this one day, she spent her time at Edge committee meetings, trying to give something back to the Planet which she had fought so hard to save.

She'd even managed to get a botanical garden opened in the name of Aerith. It was called the 'Radiant Garden' where every sort of flower and grass, tree or shrub was nurtured. It was a place where wildlife was encouraged. She could almost imagine seeing the flower girl gasp in surprise and embarrassment, knowing the _'Gainsborough Table Committee'_ that looked after the running of was named for her.

So it was that she took today for herself and the music, this very special day that no one else could have.

The music she played she had composed not long after the light in the sky had died - putting to use the talents she had at playing the piano. It was sad and sweet by turns, echoing delightfully over the area of her bedroom and across the box she had brought out from storage as she did on this day.

Because today was the anniversary of Aerith's birthday.

So Tifa played the only present that she could give her, the sweet melody she had called in a fit of lacking inspiration _'Aerith's Theme'_ because to her, it captured everything about the sweet Ancient that she could ever hope to understand, everything she had loved seeing and hearing from her - from the gentle laugh to the sparkle in her eyes. As she played, tears she kept inside the entire year around fled down her cheeks.

But again, her fingers fell lax on the ivories and she bent her head, lifting one hand to wipe the tears away.

With a sigh, Tifa turned to the box sat on the edge of her quilt covered bed, the rain drizzled morning giving barely any light inside - after all, February in Midgar was usually a dull affair - but today the very world seemed to weep. The Planet seemed to mourn with her. Comforted in knowing that at least the Planet spent it's time remembering that special somebody, she moved to the bedside and lifted the corners of the box - expecting to look in and see the precious things she had put into the box two years or so ago - the red jacket, the ribbon, the materia that she had kept (Titan) and the various bits and bobs that had been left in Aerith's backpack.

Instead, nestled neatly atop them all as if placed there, was a purple bound diary.

Surprise in her eyes, Tifa took the book out and turned it over in her hands slowly. She hadn't put any book inside the box last year and no one knew where she kept the special belongings of her flower girl, her secret heart and locked up wish. The front cover came to face her and she breathed in slowly, recognising the gilt lettering stamped into the leatherette.

_"To Someone-_

_Aerith Gainsborough."_

"Your diary," she said in wavering tones. Tifa pushed a chunk of hair behind an ear and she placed the book on her lap, conflicted feelings running riot inside her, a river of molten regret and grief, mixed with fond memories of the flower girl, hunched over her beloved diary, writing away little secrets.

How had it found its way to her?

Looking about she guiltily opened the book and squirmed back a little so she was resting a little more comfortably on the bed, eyes falling to the first page and what was written there.

_This is the Diary of Aerith Gainsborough! No Peeking!_

_Heehee... okay well, I guess it doesn't really matter if you've gotten this far into my secret little journal. But that's alright. I wanted to try and keep some record of what will be happening, a record of my memories. Why?_

_Well, I know I'm not very strong, and all I can do is heal or use materia, but I can also speak to the Planet. I am the last Cetra descendant left living, and I feel it's my duty, my obligation to put down my feelings and thoughts for future generations_.

_I hope to discover more about my life as we go along. I can tell you this much; about two weeks ago I was struck by the sensation of destiny, Fate if you will, pulling on my heartstrings. With that, I have started on a journey that will be dangerous beyond par of anything I have done before. But that's okay. Because I have good friends with me._

_So I know, no matter what comes, I'll be okay._

Tifa smiled sadly and cradled the book like a treasure house of knowledge. She had always wondered what Aerith was writing, and each entry was documented here with pictures. There were some that were hand drawn and some that were not.

The first real photograph was stuck in from their visit to Junon; Tifa was trying to fit her expanse of hair under her soldier hat and Barrett was tugging on his sailor collar so hard that there was a big tear in it already. In neat writing underneath, Aerith's handwriting, it read: _"Time to diet, Barrett! Looking good, Teef!"_

She laughed and turned the pages. The next account was a little darker than the others, but recalling the date at the top pencilled in, she knew that this was the day after the horrors had assaulted Aerith on the ship to Costa del Sol. She wrote:

_Dear Diary,_

_Tonight I dreamed of horrible things._

_Sephiroth chased me down as though I were a caged animal. He frightens me - he is not Cetra, I know that much. He's a monster, he's Jenova. A sickness on the land, wrought through the sickness in his mind. And yet, I pity him. Isn't that strange?_

_He called me his 'little angel'. His voice makes my skin crawl. When I look at him, I can see death._

_But then Tifa was there, smiling at me. When I woke up, Tifa was sleeping right next to me. Does she know how adorable she looks when she is asleep, even when drooling on the pillow?_

_Today we are thinking about finding our way west, but Tifa seemed to be a little preoccupied with blushing. She looks cute even when she's doing that too! Teehee!_

Even now that brought a bright red bloom to her cheeks and she laughed nervously, especially at the connected photographs: the first one of Yuffie who had fallen face down in the sand because her sock tripped her up, the next of Tifa trying on a bikini and a third of Aerith sat next to Tifa as they ate ice cream together.

"You did like sweet things," she murmured and kept reading.

Some of the things that were listed seemed to be standard fare: the business at the Corel town and the Gold Saucer. Aerith's depression over finding that Zack was no longer alive. The time they'd spent in the buggy arguing and bickering as the heat grew worse when delving on into Cosmo Canyon territory - her experiences with the ghosts there and Red meeting his father for the first time as fallacy gave way to truth.

There were pictures of course. Aerith loved to draw little pictures with a fair artistic hand, sometimes cartoon in style, and her humorous observations about the group which made Tifa's lip twitch - that perky attitude came through even in her writing, gently poking fun at them all and herself.

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I am going to list what makes me laugh about my friends._

_Cloud spends so much time on his hair each morning that I am surprised we don't spend all our gil in salons, he's worse than a woman!_

_Cait seems completely incapable of sitting still - he's always bouncing around. Has he got ants in his...um... mog body?_

_Tifa loves to make bad puns. I discovered this completely by accident - she tried to hide it, but she was whispering under her breath several of them in a stream. I mean, really bad. She would never be allowed on a comedy circuit!_

_Red can burp! Okay, maybe not so silly, but it amazed me (and ashamed him, I think)._

_Yuffie doesn't have any brothers or sisters, so she's taken to calling Barrett 'big brother'. She also cheats at cards - I saw her setting the deck for an evening swipe at Cloud and Barrett's gil._

_I seem to wear nothing but pink or red. I'm starting to rethink my wardrobe - I used to like green. Maybe I'll look good in green?_

_Barrett sings! I caught him in the shower, wailing his heart out, teehee! I haven't told anyone else, but it was pretty funny!_

_Aren't we a misfit crew?_

_But I wouldn't swap them for the whole world..._

After Nibelheim, the entries became sadder. Then Tifa found the one on the night where they'd crashed into the water. It read, a simple passage and nothing more:

_It won't be long now. I know I am to do something, but I am unsure what. I know that only I can do it, alone, and they cannot help me. I am frightened... I don't want to go. But I must._

"It wasn't long at all really, was it," she sighed.

There on it documented the night at gold saucer, Cait's treachery and their temple adventures. It sank deeper into the misery and darkness in the month they'd spent at Gongaga, hovering over Cloud and his bad dreams. It spoke of her insecurity, with a whole double page given over to a delicate rendition of a night sky where two girls who looked very much like herself and Aerith stared up at the sky, hands held.

On the page over, it read in simple words scrolled around with painstaking inks, _"Tifa Lockhart and Aerith Gainsborough"_.

She paused to wipe her eyes, and then put the open book down on that line of their names. Aerith had left them after this last entry, dated to the night when they'd spent it picnicking under the beautiful night sky, winding their hearts together ad inextricably linking their souls in some way that Tifa couldn't even begin to imagine. That fateful day afterward when she was going to propose and...

Without anything to touch it, the page suddenly turned over and there was a scene on the next page. It was a diary entry with a drawn scene in Aerith's delicate hand of realism, it was a picture of her, standing in the water and waving to the group as they walked from the shell building. The words next to it read, in the same delicate hand but glowing a little;

_Dear Diary,_

_Today I was put into the water, but that's alright. I'm not afraid of the water anymore. It was a bit childish to be afraid, don't you think so? Everyone looked so sad, Tifa most of all. I know she'd been waiting to ask me a question, her locked up secret wish as Cait called it I think. But that's alright, I can wait for her to say it. They all left, as if trying to leave me behind in the water there. Well, I waved goodbye to them, but I think I'll be seeing them soon. I wish they would really be a bit more grown up about this!_

_But they'll understand, one day._

Tifa stared, dumbstruck. There... how?

"Aerith?" She exclaimed and flicked on a few pages. The diary was filled up with images, with images she didn't even think could possibly be there and the usual perky commentary on what they were doing.

**Image;** Tifa in the small house, a little series of pictures with her laughing, crying and watching the video, then a final image of the faces she had seen on the video, of Ifalna and the Professor Gast. Underneath was neatly written, _"I took Tifa to visit my Parents..."_

**Image;** Tifa on the cannon and then a series, much like a comic book vision of Tifa falling, reaching out for the rope as it burned through her hands. Then another set of hands, pencilled in green were there, pulling her hands to the rope, holding onto her. Again, words read_, "Tifa's not so great at playing catch, so I gave her a helping hand!"_

**Image;** Tifa and Cloud in the life stream, with the images in Cloud's head. A previous little section of sketches over the top showed Tifa holding her head and trying to run away. _"Tifa couldn't hear my voice - I guess I'm new to this life stream voice over stuff. I'll get the hang of it. But she understood enough that I could help Cloud now and nudge him with her help into being well. It took longer than I expected, but never mind! So when they were done, I helped them out of the water."_

**Image;** Tifa on the ground next to Cloud on the last night before the big battle. Tifa's eyes shed tears and in a close up sketch of a tear, Aerith had pencilled herself in, in green outlines, smiling. _"Tifa cries still for me. But she doesn't realise I'm always there with her."_

**Image;** Tifa reaches for Cloud. Aerith's hand overshadows her as Cloud looks up. _"I helped Cloud come to his senses after ending Sephiroth, he needs a hand now and I'm too far away to do it. So they'll help each other, as friends should. She almost stopped and came back for me, but I'm glad she didn't."_

**Image;** Tifa looks up. Above her head is a thought bubble reading:

_"-This world is such a crazy place. I have gone... so far. Zangan would be proud. I think my parents would be proud too, of everything I have tried to accomplish. I might not have always been successful, but I did well enough. I did enough._

_Now if only you had stayed, instead of having to go, then life would be perfect._

_But I'll soldier on for you, my flower. I'll find my way without your light to guide me._

_...my hero, Aerith."_

Underneath the bubble was a boxed in picture of Aerith in the blackness, bubbles of green overlaying the picture painted in with acrylic thickness and over it was the outstanding, the lovely smile which Tifa had held in her heart forever.

Unable to put names to her emotions, Tifa stared hungrily at the diary, aware the light was fading outside from how long she had pored over it; the words, the experiences - had she really been there with her? Had she been so blind in her heart to think she was alone?

"To someone," she read aloud, and then gave a sob as the diary lurched and turned a page. Suddenly words were appearing before her eyes, written there in the same neat hand, glowing as they were put onto the paper.

_"Tifa,"_ it read, _"You once said, you wanted to be someone, to somebody. You're my someone, Tifa Lockhart, and you always will be. I loved the music - you were playing for me, weren't you? How sweet, how sad. And I never told you this, but I should. I should tell you now. I love you. I really love you. I didn't know how to say it, because I was afraid I would leave, I was unsure of everything. But I am sure of this. Sure enough to say 'yes' to your locked up, secret wish. You know what they say..."_

A picture was flooded in next to it: Tifa on the bed in her room, reading the exact selfsame page of the purple clad diary and over her shoulder, tongue sticking out and wearing only the pink dress and those horrible chunky boots for gardening, Aerith leaning over and was writing in what she was reading. Tifa closed the book after reading the last line, tears of joy streaming down her cheeks as her heart finally healed over the worst hurt in her life, sure enough now that no matter what may come, no matter what tomorrow might hold, that sometime, she and Aerith would be together again. Because that was Fate, and she wasn't just someone who got in the way.

She was finally someone to somebody.

On the back cover of the diary were printed the words to a prayer, or a poem and she laughed softly, touching them: the final prayer of the Ancient to her love:

_I know the constellations  
Each name and pattern bright,  
Born with every summer dawning  
Fading into each autumn night.  
Perhaps shining, perhaps crying  
Perhaps every moment we are dying  
But even with this, denying  
I must go. I am sorry, so you know. _

I know the leaves on the trees  
By the dappled shadows on the pathway.  
Your laughter breaks the silence  
And I fold it to my heart every missed day.  
Perhaps sharing, perhaps caring  
Perhaps every moment spent faring  
And riding out the days left with bearing  
I must go. I am sorry, so you know.

I know the place I finally lie  
Water in the hues of the green fields waver,  
And when we are gone they'll have stories  
Or the war, the glories and their saviour.  
Perhaps the broken swings, perhaps be kings  
Perhaps they'll make us anything  
But what we were, saving it for nothing.  
I must go. I am sorry, so you know.

Perhaps with every moment we are dying  
Perhaps every moment spent faring,  
Perhaps they'll make us anything...  
...I am sorry, so you know. I must go.

So she whispered Aerith's last words aloud:

"Love not often, but **forever**."


End file.
